Chapter 36
The Old Gods
Allie
After dinner, Allie finally saw Cam again—his whole body was sweaty and his demeanor slightly irritable thanks to his first round of tests, and she was still reeling and slightly exhausted from the afternoon’s preparations.
Mal’s people had done some tests on Allie’s ability, which they found didn’t work inside at all.
In the lab, she’d found zero out of five items before Mal had the team bring in freshly dug earth from outside, instructing Allie to stand in it while she tried seeking.
It didn’t help—she garnered another zero-for-five record, and Mal got a dirty floor.
“The physical connection is the key,” Mal told her and Key, who’d insisted on being present. “I think the strength of the connection is part of it, or at least that helps literally ground you.”
She had a similar experience outside, where she went zero-and-five with her shoes on. However, she was ten for ten with her shoes off, although when she’d tried with a hand on the ground rather than bare feet, the seeking seemed to take longer.
“I think the skin on my feet presses into the earth with more force because of gravity, as opposed to when I try pressing my hand down,” she said.
Mal agreed, but the most important part of it seemed to be the contact with bare skin. With that in mind, Mal wanted her to touch the Z as Frankie had. “I want to make sure there isn’t something in the zombies, physically, that factors in. To make sure we have a control group, I’ll touch it first.”
“Not going to have one of your flunkies do it for you?” Key looked more curious than snarky.
She had yet to tell Malcolm about her own power, and Allie respected her need to be careful.
A power like healing was a double-edged sword, and Allie suspected she was waiting until things settled down again to talk to Malcolm about it.
Malcolm looked at her solemnly. “Shawnie, I wouldn’t ask one of them to do something I wouldn’t be willing to do first.”
Key nodded, a look of grudging respect on her face. “Fair enough.”
Malcolm had separated two of the Zs from the others for this testing, and he told them that the Zs were in various states due to the number of tests they’d run on them, but Allie wasn’t prepared for what she saw in the basement testing area where they were being held.
Both zombies were missing limbs and sections of skin, and their teeth and eyes had been removed. They moved and moaned occasionally, and the sheer grotesqueness and smell of them made her wince.
Fortunately, with just two present, Allie didn’t experience the Z-terror. She was unnerved by their presence and proximity, but she didn’t feel their malevolence as extremely as she’d expected.
When she told Mal and Key as much, Mal had an answer for that. “The eyes are important. Something in the way they shine or glow, especially at night—but these two don’t have that. It’s more prominent in groups of Zs, like they feed off each other.” He shrugged. “We’re working on it.”
In the end, both Mal and Allie touched both zombies with no effect. The memory of that dead flesh beneath her fingers as the Zs howled made her shudder.
Goddess, she was grateful she would be doing the Big Seek outside in the fresh air with her bare feet on the ground—and she hoped she would never have to be in a room with a zombie ever again.
As she related all this to Cam in their room after they’d both showered, his face was impassive, although he nodded and made noises while she talked to let her know he was listening.
“I’m glad we’re doing it tomorrow,” she said, wrapping up her story. “I really want to get to it—there’s no reason to wait.”
Cam shut his eyes briefly. “Yeah, I know.”
I wish I knew how to make this easier on him. “We’re taking every precaution to ensure my safety,” she said, running her hand down his arm to twine her fingers with his. “They walked me through it.”
“And the videos of Frankie? Did you ask Mal about her medical charts?”
Allie shuddered. Goddess, those videos. “Yes. I saw it all. They were... odd. Malcolm had no way to explain why she was awake and functioning but fundamentally not there. Her vital signs and brain activity were all normal, healthy. She was just somehow checked out.”
Cam nodded, swallowing hard.
“But she came back, Cam.” Allie couldn’t stop herself from blurting it out.
“She came back to herself. She’s fine now—” At Cam’s swift, searing glance, she amended her words.
“Well, she’s okay. For a given value of okay.
She’s got trauma like everyone else, just more intense in that instance. You know what I mean.”
He let out a gust of breath. “Angel, I do know what you mean. I get what you’re saying.” He turned to her and took her other hand in his. “I’m going to be there. During the entire thing.”
“I know, and Mal said he’s good with that. We won’t do anything without you present.”
Cam’s jaw clenched. “I don’t mean only during the experiment.
The Big Seek.” He took her shoulders in his hands.
“If you... pass out, or go away, or whatever, I’m going to be there with you until you wake up.
Until you come back. I’m not leaving until you walk back to this room with me.
” He paused. “You’re going to have to be okay with that. ”
Allie’s heart seized in her chest. “Cam. If something else...”
He shook his head once. “Nope. I’m coming back to this room with you. Or not at all.”
She couldn’t speak.
His eyes, more stormy-gray than blue, stared into hers. “Back in the bunker, I promised never to leave you behind. Ever. I know you have to do this, and I’m making my peace with that. But I’m not going to leave you, angel, not as long as your heart is beating.”
She bit her lip hard, willing herself not to cry. This was the time to be brave and believe in herself. In Morrigan’s guidance. In Cam’s love and support. In the Plant’s knowledge and resources.
“Okay,” she said.
He leaned forward and brushed his lips against her forehead then lowered them to her mouth, a warm benediction. “Okay.”
The testing area looked more like an outdoor gym than any kind of lab, but they had access to everything they’d need, including the monitors that would keep track of Allie’s vitals throughout.
Before she got hooked up, Allie nodded to Malcolm then went to Key.
“I want to thank you for everything,” she said, and the older woman frowned, but before she could respond, Allie pulled her into a hug.
As Key embraced Allie, Allie put her lips to Key’s ear and whispered, “There’s a letter for him.
If I don’t make it back. I put it on the desk in your room. ”
Key nodded and swallowed hard, hugging Allie closer with her strong arms. “I love you, honey. Don’t you dare check out on us. You’re stronger than anything you’ll find.”
Allie blinked back tears. “I love you, Key.” Then Allie went to Odette. “I love you, Dette. Thank you for everything.”
“Oh, mija.” She held Allie tight, enveloping her in the smell of lavender. “We love you. We’re here for you.”
Frankie was next.
Allie took her new friend’s hands. “See you on the other side.”
“You’ll make it back.” Frankie tried to smile. “It’ll probably be a wild ride, but you’ll be here again with us. Or I’ll sic Morrigan on you.”
Allie nodded and went to Cam, who gathered her into his arms gently. “Let’s get snacking...” he sang softly, making her laugh, a watery but real chuckle. “Come back to me. Be the Allie-cat and claw your way here if you have to.”
She nodded, her head buried in his neck. “I will. I love you, Cameron Hale.”
“I love you, angel.”
With a sigh, she pulled away and went to Malcolm. “I’m ready.”
Mal and Frankie attached all the sensors, and Cam stood behind her, Key in front. Grace began to record on a handheld camera.
When Allie was ready, she took a deep breath, digging her toes into the cool grass and the still slightly damp earth. She stood in mountain pose, gathering all her energy into herself.
Part of their prep had been to figure out how she should focus her thoughts to direct her seeking. Allie had memorized the words, and as she unfocused her eyes, she brought them to the forefront of her mind.
I need to find where the zombies came from. Show me what caused them to be here.
Her breath slowed. Her mind’s eye opened then opened again, showing Allie the inside of an old dream. She hovered there and realized this was not just any dream—it was the Dream.
She didn’t hover but floated, weightless, in a vast ocean, the dark water swirling around her and through her. Morrigan drifted beside her, and Allie turned to ask Her why they were here.
Morrigan pointed, and Allie saw the huge figure in the distance moving languidly toward them. The pilot fish hovered about it, nearly covering what Allie knew was a shark bigger than anything she’d seen.
Allie’s skin burned cold as it approached. But my skin doesn’t exist here. How can I feel it?
As the bulk of the shark approached, as slowly and ponderously as a huge steam ship, it dwarfed her. She turned to Morrigan to ask if they should try to swim away, but Morrigan was gone.
Allie turned around, opening her mouth to call out. Morrigan, please! Don’t leave me here!
Two pilot fish detached themselves from the group, swimming to Allie. When they reached her, she saw that they were both nearly as large as Allie herself—and yet she was not afraid of these creatures. Beings. Somehow she knew they were not animals, although they appeared as fish.
You can understand us in this form. The fish had spoken in Morrigan’s voice. You can comprehend us. Remember, the old gods have not abandoned this world.
The shark began to swim past Allie, its body only a few feet from where she floated. The vortex, small now but growing with every second, swirled beneath it. I’m almost out of time! She tried to get closer to the dark, malevolent shape.
Do not try to see. The other pilot fish spoke in a voice she didn’t recognize but that made her think of her mother.
I have to see. I have to know.
You cannot comprehend. The pilot fish swam around her, but they could not block her view, the shark’s head so close now that she could nearly touch it.
She saw its skin, an oleaginous, obsidian expanse that turned her blood to ice and made her hands curl into fists until her fingernails bit into her palms, even as the shark’s nearness immobilized the rest of her body.
Then she put her hand on its skin and saw the shark’s malevolent, dead eye shine red. The vortex yawned beneath them. Her mind filled with a vision of black chains extending down from a churning, malignant sky of sickly-green and gray—and she screamed and screamed.