Chapter Three
I jerk awake, gasping for air. My body’s drenched in sweat.
I try to orient myself. I reach for my watch on the nightstand to see that it’s only three a.m. As I switch on the bedside lamp, I notice a leg draped across me.
Maisie’s climbed in bed with me again. She’s sound asleep and lying sideways.
I gently remove her leg and turn off the lamp so not to wake her.
I know what’s happened. I sneak up the stairs to her room.
The bedding is just as I had guessed. I remove the sheets and take them to the washer.
There’s an appointment with her therapist tomorrow.
The bed-wetting hasn’t improved. Maybe I had a hand in it tonight when I yelled at Kara. That thought upsets me.
With the washing machine started, I find that I’m wide awake.
I gather some jogging clothes from my room and tiptoe out to the guest bathroom down the hall to change.
Heading out, I lock the door, and pop in my headphones.
I click on the playlist labeled Sad, because obviously I like to torment myself.
The temperature feels good this time of the morning, unlike the warm weather during the day.
That’s autumn in the South. It’s dark, so I stick to the sidewalk instead of the wooded trail I usually run.
My breathing becomes heavy and quick as I push myself harder and faster.
I want to feel the pain. It lets me know I’m still alive.
Something my sister doesn’t have the privilege of anymore.
The more I think about the dream, the harder I run.
It’s always the same, coming back again and again.
I was home alone the night I got the devastating news that Annie and Bill were in a car accident and didn’t survive.
The call stole my breath, as if life drained out of me the moment I answered.
The best part of me left this world that night.
The girls were with Judy so Bill and Annie could attend a party for his law firm.
I called the only person I knew would be there for me unconditionally.
Steven came immediately and drove me to the medical examiner’s office. An image seared into my mind forever.
After the second lap around the streets, I turn the corner toward the house.
Immediately I notice a car sitting at the curb with only the parking lights on.
I slow to a brisk walk as I get closer. The driver must have noticed me because the car takes off.
I jog after it trying to make out the tag number, but it’s too dark.
The car appears to be an older model Honda Civic.
As it vanishes, I stop and stare down the road.
It’s too early for most people to be out for work and too late for teenagers.
With that thought, I look back at the house.
It seems quiet. My eyes find the second level and a breath of fresh air escapes when I see Kara’s light off, windows down, and blinds closed.
Still makes me uneasy to know someone was parked in front of the house.
My watch vibrates, a notification congratulating me on reaching my step goals.
I’m off to a great start and it’s only four a.m. now.
I’m tired, but I don’t know if sleep will come.
I should go back in and try. I make a pit stop to throw Maisie’s bedding in the dryer before going back to the bedroom.
She’s still sound asleep in my bed. I quietly shut the door to the bathroom.
The water’s warm against my tired body. It feels amazing.
I bathe quickly, trying to be quiet. I dress and close the bedroom door as I leave the room once again. I’m too awake to sleep at the moment.
A faint light from the kitchen catches my eye as I walk into the living room. Slowly I edge my way closer to the kitchen as quietly as possible. Kara’s rummaging through the cabinets. An open can of soda is on the counter.
“Hungry?” I say loudly enough to startle her.
Kara jumps back, falling down on her rear end. “You scared the crap out of me!” she huffs out.
“What are you doing up at this hour?” I stop at the end of the island to stand over her.
“What does it look like,” she says sarcastically.
“Four o’clock in the morning is for sleeping. You should have eaten dinner.”
“I wasn’t hungry then.” Kara stands, slamming the cabinets.
I step closer to her. We’re almost the same height now. She took after her dad on that. Annie was only five foot three. “Then you’ll have to start waiting until breakfast to eat again.” Kara stares me in the eyes. She’s so different now. It hurts to see her this way.
“Whatever!” she says, breathing into my face as she pushes past me.
A distinct whiff of cigarettes hits me. I reach for her arm, pulling her to a stop. “Are you smoking?” I already know the answer, but I want to see if she lies.
“No.” Her mouth exaggerates the word. She looks down at my hand holding her arm.
“What did I just tell you about earning my trust?”
She snatches her arm from my grip. “I don’t care.”
“Add another week onto that grounding. And if I catch you smoking again, there will be more consequences than that.”
She grunts under her breath as she storms up the stairs to her room, slamming her bedroom door.
“Aunt Allie?” Maisie appears, rubbing her eyes.
“Hey, honey.” I pick her up. She rests her head on my shoulder. “Let’s get you back to bed.”
I lay Maisie in bed and pull the covers up. She yawns. “Are you getting in bed too?”
I’m not tired anymore, but I can tell she needs me. “Yep. Scooch over.”
Maisie slides to the middle of the bed. I turn off the lamp, climb under the covers, and snuggle up to her.
“Are you mad at Kara?” Maisie asks. She must have heard us.
“I’m not mad at her, but she hurts my heart sometimes.”
“I think she misses Mommy and Daddy real bad.”
“I know, honey. We all miss them terribly. Do you remember what I told you?”
Maisie lightly nods her head. “They live in my heart, and they’re always with me wherever I go.”
“That’s right, sweetheart.” I kiss the top of her head.
“I love you, Aunt Allie.” Maisie’s little voice warms my heart.
“I love you too, sweet girl.”
As I lie with Maisie in my arms, I think of my sister, her beautiful soul, and her loving heart.
I miss her so much. My only lifeline to her are these two girls.
I’ll give them my all to make sure they are taken care of.
My sister trusted me to do that. I won’t let her down.
I close my eyes and send out a silent prayer for help.