Chapter Five
Steven showed up after we finished dinner and is chowing down on the leftovers. We have the fire lit and are sitting around it while watching Kara and Maisie chase lightning bugs. It isn’t completely dark yet, but the night is upon us and there is a muggy chill in the air.
I’ve been pretty quiet since dinner. Steven and Sam have gotten to know each other well during their short time together.
I’m currently leaning back in my chair, relaxing to the easy conversation.
I’m feeling a little lonely. Funny how that can be even though people are around.
It has nothing to do with them. I know it’s me.
“Look, Aunt Allie.” Maisie rushes over to show me all the lightning bugs in her mason jar. “I’ve caught more than Kara.” She places the jar on my lap and leans down to count. “There are six of them.”
“Wow, kiddo.” I pull her onto my lap and hug her from behind as she holds her jar tightly. “Good job.” My voice betrays me, something heavier slipping through.
“They’re pretty, aren’t they?” Maisie says, staring into the jar. I prop my chin on her shoulder and stare with her.
“Very,” Sam says, from across the fire. I look over to see her watching us. She has her legs pulled up in the chair, with a blanket thrown across her bare tanned skin. It’s cooler tonight than it has been, which is nice for the fire.
“Should I let them go?” Maisie asks, never taking her eyes off the jar.
“I think that’s a good idea. That way they can keep our yard lit up at night. That’s their job, you know.”
Maisie hops off my lap. “Uncle Steven, would you help me?”
“I would love to, baby girl.” He takes Maisie’s open hand, and they walk out toward the back fence.
Kara walks over. “I’m going to shower.” She reaches down and gives Sam a hug, then whispers something in her ear. I stare at them through the flames. Kara’s blond hair is tinted by the firelight.
“Goodnight, honey,” Sam says, releasing Kara from the hug.
Kara walks past me without even a glance my way.
“Kara,” I say, loud enough for her to stop. I don’t turn around. “Please take your sister with you and get her bath started.”
“Maisie,” Kara huffs out. “Come on!”
“All right!” Maisie gives Steven the empty mason jar and runs through the yard. She comes to a stop in front of me. “Can Uncle Steven read me a book after my bath?”
“I’ll ask him. But don’t forget to wash here.” I tug on her right ear. She giggles. “And here.” I tickle her belly. She pushes my hand away as she laughs loudly and then rushes to Kara.
“Uncle Steven,” Maisie calls out from the door. “You have to say yes.”
“Inside,” Kara orders Maisie, pushing her through the door.
Steven sits down between me and Sam. “What was that about?” he asks.
“Maisie wants you to read her a book after her bath.” I shrug. “She loves you.”
He arches an eyebrow, a hint of smugness in his expression. “Who doesn’t?” He chuckles. I shake my head. “We only got halfway through our book last time, so I’ve got to find out what happens.”
“She’s read that book like three times now.” I remember the day she got it.
“What book is this?” Sam inquires.
“Because of Winn-Dixie,” Steven replies.
“Oh!” Sam shifts in her seat. “It’s such a cute movie. Has she seen it?”
Steven looks at me. “I’m not sure.”
“She hasn’t seen it. Annie and Maisie were going to watch it together after they finished reading the book. But she passed away before they could finish. We finished it together, but she wants to keep reading it over again.”
“Bless that baby,” Steven says. “We should watch it together after we finish the book this time. Maybe she’d like that.”
“We have the movie,” Sam adds. “Whenever you want to watch it, we could all have a movie night with popcorn and snacks.”
“I love that idea!” Steven claps his hands together. “Count me in.”
They both look at me. “Sure,” I agree. “Maisie would like that.” I glance down at my hands, thinking about how I get to do things with my sister’s kids that she can’t.
Things that she planned. I don’t want to bring the mood down with my own sadness.
“Would anyone like a refill?” I look at Steven and Sam, as I lift the half-empty bottle of wine from the table.
“Maybe a tad bit more.” Steven pours a small amount into his wineglass. “Sam?” He tilts the bottle over her empty glass.
“Oh, I’m fine. Thank you.”
“Well, that’s obvious.” Steven winks at her. “But would you like more wine?”
A blush tints Sam’s cheeks, and I can’t help but smile. “Way to twist my words!” She throws her blanket at his face. We all laugh.
“I’m having a nice time,” Sam says, looking at me. “Thank you for having me.”
“You’ve actually kept Kara around the family. I have to thank you.”
“Uncle Steven?” Maisie appears at the door behind us. “Did you say yes?”
Steven stands. “You know I did, honey.” He looks at Sam. “Take care of my girl until I get back.” He squeezes my shoulder as he walks past.
“Steven,” I call out. He backs up and arches his very expressive, thick brow. “Tell Maisie that was the shortest bath in history.”
“She’s a record setter.” Steven laughs. “Be back soon.”
Sam reaches down to pick up the blanket she threw at Steven and walks over to sit next to me. She covers her legs again before shifting in her chair to face me. “I’m so sorry Kara’s treating you the way she is. I can tell it hurts.”
I look away. The fire’s dying down. It’s just a low flame now. “She has so much anger toward me. I don’t know why.” I don’t look at Sam, but I can feel her eyes on me.
“Maybe I could talk to her and see if I can find out what’s going on.” Sam’s voice is calm and steady. It’s hard to imagine her mad at anyone. She has that way about her.
I take the last sip of my whiskey. It’s Friday night.
I haven’t been out since I moved in here with the girls.
This almost feels like fun. “If she will talk to you, then please do so. I’ve tried getting her a therapist, but she won’t go.
She definitely won’t talk to me. I feel like I’m letting my sister down. ”
“I think Annie would understand. You three have been through so much in the last month. Maybe Kara’s trying to deal with it in her own way. And maybe, her anger has nothing to do with you at all, but you are the target in front of her.”
I look at Sam. God she’s beautiful. The whiskey’s letting my mind travel down a road that I don’t need to travel. I have no time for a woman, much less Kara’s best friend’s mom, who I’m pretty sure is incredibly straight.
“Did I say something wrong?” Sam asks. The small crease between her brows says it all.
“No, I’m sorry.” I rush to reassure her.
I don’t know what I looked like just then.
“I was just thinking that you’re really beautiful,” I say candidly.
Sam’s cheeks flush pink as she glances down at her hands.
I can’t look away. Normally I’m not this blunt unless I’m at a bar and looking for a good time, but I truly just mean it with no expectations.
“Thank you for saying those things. Most days I feel lost when it comes to Kara. And it’s weird because we used to be so close. ”
“You’re still close.” Sam tries to reassure me, but I know better. “I feel like I should know this, but do you have any other siblings?”
“No.” I shake my head. “We were taken from our mom at a young age. Luckily, we got to stay together because a kind woman fostered us both. Mrs. Ashwood treated us like her own.”
“I didn’t know that about Annie. She never said.
I wish I had asked more questions. She was always there for me, especially during my divorce.
” Sam looks down at her hands again, like she’s ashamed.
We never know when our last moment will be with someone.
We take life for granted and the people in it. I know I did.
“We never liked talking about it. To be honest, we were lucky to have turned out the way we did. Our mom was a drug addict who eventually overdosed. I feel fortunate that we didn’t have to witness that.
I was six and Annie was eleven when we were taken away, but Annie, being older, was always so protective of me.
” It breaks my heart to talk about Annie in the past tense.
“Is Mrs. Ashwood still, um…” Sam trails off, but it’s clear what she’s asking.
I shake my head. “She passed away before Kara was born.”
“It seems like she was good to you both. I’m glad she kept you together.”
“Me, too.”
“What about your dad?” Sam asks.
“All we know is that he left when he found out mom was pregnant with me. Child services couldn’t find him. We’ve never looked. What’s the point, right? He didn’t want us.”
“I’m so sorry,” Sam says softly. She leans forward, refilling her glass, her eyes still on me. “It’s Friday, and I have no one at home.”
The air grows heavy with the weight of real conversation.
I feel uneasy talking about the sad parts of my life, so I usually don’t.
I’d rather people feel comfortable and happy around me.
The way Annie and I grew up, I learned to keep things to myself.
She was the one I confided in, and I was hers, because we were the only ones who truly understood each other.
We never wanted anyone to feel sorry for us.
“Hey, no need to explain to me. I’m definitely feeling my whiskeys. My exes would be in shock with me talking about my past life. I don’t usually do it.”
“Oh!” Sam says, holding her wineglass between both hands. She seems very interested in what I’ve just revealed. “How many exes are we talking about?”
I laugh. “A few.”
Sam sips her wine. I watch her full lips embrace the glass between them. She tips her head back. My eyes roam the expanse of the long, smooth skin along her neck.
“Maisie’s asleep,” Steven announces, startling me as he steps out onto the patio.
“That was fast.” He sits to my right. “Did you happen to see if Kara was still up?”
“I think she’s watching TV in her room.” Steven takes his glass of wine from the table. “So, Sam, did I miss any good gossip?”
“Well, we did broach the topic of Allie’s exes, but it didn’t go far.” Sam grins at me, showing off her amazing smile.
“Steven.” I point at him. “Don’t.”
“Moi?” He touches his hand to his chest. “I would never tell Sam about your exes. I mean Jenny was kind of a psycho, but Leah was the controlling sweetheart who—”
“Okay!” I reach over and cover his mouth with my hand. He licks my palm. “Gross!” I wipe the saliva on his shirt.
Sam laughs. “I would love to hear those stories.”
“Why don’t we tell her about Aaron instead.” I give him a stern look. “He was a real keeper.”
“Go for it.” Steven crosses his legs as he leans back in his chair. He gestures for me to continue. “At least I know how bad he was.”
I roll my eyes. “Please.”
“This is getting good.” Sam looks between us both.
“Yeah.” I nod. “We’ve both had a stretch of bad luck.”
“Speak for yourself.” Steven moves his neck from side to side like a duck. “I enjoy a little crazy from time to time. Crazy in the streets, freaky in the sheets.”
“Yeah, well, crazy in the streets trumps everything and you know it.” I shake my head at his stupid comment, while Sam continues to giggle adorably.
“Mmhmm,” he says, sarcastically. He’s putting on an act for Sam.
“You two are funny,” Sam says.
“Well, I am,” Steven agrees. “Not so sure about Ms. Keep-Your-Trap-Shut over there.”
“I don’t know.” Sam flashes a wink my way. “Allie’s been very entertaining.”
I give Steven my best smug look, as a smile spreads across my lips. That wink got me.
“Don’t give her an inch or she’ll take a mile,” he says, in a laid-back Southern drawl, staring at me playfully.
Sam looks at me. “I think she’s earned every inch.”
“Oh, Sam.” Steven shakes his head. “Look what you’re doing to her. She won’t be able to fit that big ass head through the door if you keep on.”
Sam slides forward in her chair. “As much as I’ve enjoyed tonight, I think it’s time for me to head home.”
“Don’t let Steven run you off. He can be a little overpowering at first, but like any new air freshener, it will settle to be more tolerable.”
“Hardy-har-har!” Steven says. “Luckily, you have me to freshen up the air around your dumpster attitude.”
Sam chuckles as she stands. “It was really fun. I haven’t laughed this much in a long time. Steven, it was very nice to meet you.”
“You too, sweet lady.” Steven stands and pulls Sam in for a hug because that’s just who he is.
“I’ll walk you out.” I can tell Sam likes Steven. He’s easy to like.
Sam follows me through the patio doors, down the hall, and toward the foyer. I open the front door and walk out onto the porch with her.
“Sorry about all the back-and-forth stuff with Steven. Sometimes when we drink together, we turn into teenagers again who like to roast each other. It’s a work in process.”
“I enjoy the banter.” Sam crosses her arms over her chest. Not sure if it’s the night air or me that caused her to do that.
“Steven’s the brother Annie and I never had. The girls love him. Especially Maisie.”
“I can tell.” Sam smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes like it did earlier. “Thank you for letting me crash your family time. It’s been a while since Olivia has gone home with her dad.”
“I’m glad you stayed.” I expected Sam to leave when we reached the porch, but she hasn’t.
I find myself watching her as she looks across the yard and over the neighborhood.
The streetlight casts a soft glow across her face.
She’s stunning in any light. “Are you worried about Olivia being with her dad?” I don’t know why I asked the question. It just feels like I should.
Sam nods. “A little. He’s good with her. I know that…” She exhales softly. “I’m not used to being away from her yet.”
“That makes sense. But I’m sure she’s fine or else she’d call you. Right?”
“Right,” Sam agrees. “I keep checking my phone like she’s going to call,” she adds with a small smile. “She won’t. But I still do.”
“May I ask how long you’ve been divorced?”
“A year and a half. He hasn’t been active in Olivia’s life since the divorce. Our relationship was over long before that, but I stayed for Olivia until it was too much for me.” Her eyes remain fixed straight ahead. I imagine she’s fighting an internal battle. I know that struggle.
“If you ever need anyone to talk to, I’m here.”
Sam turns her head slightly just enough for her eyes to find mine. “Thank you. And the same goes for you. Please let me help in any way I can with the girls.”
“Deal.” I hold out my hand for her to shake. She takes it without hesitation. A smile, a true one, spreads across her face.
“Deal,” she says. Her hand holds mine a moment longer before letting go to walk down the steps toward her Highlander. “Good night, Allie.” I like hearing my name coming from her lips.
“Good night.” I turn toward the house and make my way back to Steven on the patio. But Sam’s there in the back of my mind, and in full color. I’m not sure how to feel about that yet.