Chapter Fifteen
I drop the girls off at school and head straight to the A-frame on Hampton Avenue to meet Steven.
I didn’t sleep well. Sam’s been quiet since the carnival two days ago.
I’ve messaged her, and it takes hours for her to get back to me and then with only short responses.
My mind has run rapidly with thoughts of what I could have said or done to make her distant.
I honestly don’t know if I’ve ever thought about a woman this much or so intensely. It’s driving me insane.
“Hey, pumpkin,” Steven says as he turns to greet me. “Oh, hell no!” He points a finger at me as I approach. “What’s up with all of this today?” I’m assuming he’s talking about my lack of energy or my dejected expression.
I stare at him, unamused. “I’m having a bad day.”
“Uh-uh,” he says, placing a hand on his hip. “That’s more like multiple days stacked on top of each other strangling the ones below.”
Ignoring his on-point comment, I walk past him to check out the front porch that’s perfect for sitting with friends.
It’s such great architecture. This house flip is going to make us mega money.
Especially for the price we paid for it.
I’ve driven by that place so many times admiring it.
Seems like it was plucked from a magazine.
The surrounding trees make it seem like it’s not in the city at all.
“I love this house.” I take a deep breath, relaxing into the moment.
I love my job. I always have. This is what centers me.
“Let’s go inside.” I don’t wait for Steven as I unlock the door and walk into the open area.
It needs a lot of work, but this project is something I can get into.
It’ll be good to occupy my mind and get the girls involved.
“This space is magnificent!” Steven inhales sharply. “I only saw it once, but I knew this was a steal.”
The open floor plan is truly spectacular. The large living area is adjacent to the kitchen and separated by a large island. An outdated fireplace has lots of potential. The staircase sits to the left with no railing up to the loft. It has a well-designed layout. I’m super impressed.
“I think I’ll get back into it and be hands-on with this one. It’s been a while since I’ve done that. Maybe the girls can get more involved in what I do as well. It’d be nice to reconnect with Kara.”
Steven catches me off guard, wrapping his arms around me from behind in a warm bear hug. He kisses the back of my head. “That sounds perfect. Let’s get a drink this week and talk about ideas for this place.”
I lift my hands to hold his embracing forearms and lean my head against him. “Thank you.” I think he understands there’s more behind the words. Steven’s good at that.
The rest of the day we work without serious talk.
He doesn’t mention Luke, and I don’t ask.
It’s not because I don’t care. We’re just in the zone, doing what needs to be done.
We’ve been through enough hard seasons to know how this works.
When one of us starts slipping, the other quietly steps in and holds the foundation steady. No judgment. Just support.
By the time I get the girls and get home, I’m exhausted.
I haven’t heard from Sam all day. I didn’t reach out to her either.
Maybe the fire has burned out for her. Maybe she just needs some space to analyze things.
I wish she would talk to me. I can wait if that’s what she needs.
I never expected someone like her to come into my life and make the hard days a little more bearable.
So, the last thing I want to do is push her away.
I have no clue what we’re going to do for dinner. When I had to fend for just myself, it was so much easier. Now I have to make sure two humans eat well and grow up healthy. I’ll think about food later.
After changing, I walk upstairs to check on the girls. Kara has her door shut. It’s quiet. She’s probably listening to music on her earbuds. Maisie’s watching something on her iPad while lounging across her beanbag.
I walk down to the end of the hall and stop in front of Annie and Bill’s bedroom.
I open the door and stare at all the untouched items from the last time they were in this room.
It’s like they have been frozen in time, waiting for them to come home and straighten up.
Judy’s mentioned us going through their things a few times, but I haven’t been able to do it yet.
I should do it for the girls. It might be the closure we all need.
Ding dong—the doorbell startles me. I pull the door closed. I’m not expecting anyone. My heart flutters in hope that Sam is on the other side. A hug from her feels like it would fix almost anything.
“Ta-da!” Steven says as I open the door. He lifts a brown paper bag in the air. “I brought Chinese!” He almost sings the words.
I didn’t realize I was smiling, but it feels good to do so. “Come in.”
“I had a feeling you needed this.” He throws a hand up in the air as he does a circle in the hall. “And of course the food too.” His chuckle warms my heart as it echoes down the hallway.
“It is exactly what I needed. Thank you.”
He puts the bag on the counter and pulls me into a hug. “Anything for you.”
“Would you grab the girls? They’re going to be so happy you’re here.”
“Of course.” He jogs upstairs while I pull four plates from the cabinet.
I listen to his cheerful singing as he knocks on Kara’s door, saying her name as if in a Broadway special.
A minute later, I hear Maisie scream, followed by a giggle.
I imagine he’s picked her up and slung her over his shoulder.
And here they come down the stairs with Maisie as I predicted and Kara right with them tickling Maisie from behind.
Steven’s singing loudly the words he’s made up on the spot. It’s the best sound.
“Please tell me you got some cream-cheese wontons?” Kara digs in the bag to look. I love her getting excited about food.
“Do I look like an amateur?” Steven arches his thick brow.
“No.” Kara smiles.
“Yum!” Maisie rushes over. “Gimme, gimme.” She licks her lips in anticipation.
Both girls grab a wonton and eat before fixing their plate with rice, sweet-and-sour chicken, and more wontons. Then they take off toward the living room to watch television.
“Don’t spill anything please.” They are pretty good at being clean, but it doesn’t hurt to reiterate.
“Want to grab a drink and sit outside?” Steven pops a whole wonton in his mouth.
“Are you trying to choke yourself?”
“I have a big mouth,” he mumbles as he chews his food.
I shake my head. “Let’s get a drink.”
We both take a glass of chardonnay with us out to the patio. It’s the perfect temperature right now. “Thank you. I truly mean that.” He’s helped me more than he probably realizes. Or maybe he does.
“I’ve got you. You should know that by now.”
“I do.”
“Hey, I forgot to mention that Danny called, and the Pearson Street house has made its recovery quicker than expected and we are back on track.” He lifts his wine to cheers.
I touch my glass to his. “That’s great news. What a relief.” I take a sip of my drink and stare off into the beautiful sky, deciding that I need my best friend’s advice. “I don’t know what’s going on with Sam,” I confess.
“I know when something is going on with you.” Steven crosses his legs. “Listen, don’t be mad at me, but—”
“That’s not a good start to any sentence,” I interrupt.
“It’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission.” He shrugs.
“To be determined.”
“Fair. But you know I have your best interest at heart.”
I tilt my head back toward the sky and take a deep breath. “What do I need to forgive you for?”
“I had a feeling something was up between you and Sam, so I asked Luke if he knew anything.”
I take a large gulp of my wine. “And?”
“He said Sam mentioned that maybe you two jumped into things too fast. She felt like she needed to take a step back.” He leans forward to touch my knee. “She just might have been spooked by how much she cares for you.”
“Yeah...” I finish the last of what’s left in my glass.
Steven stands and takes it. “I got it.” He disappears into the house. Maybe to give me time to process the news.
I have to say this stings a lot. I knew I cared for Sam more than I realized, but this feels plain awful.
I don’t know how much more my heart can take.
I was good at not letting women hurt me.
But then came Sam at my lowest point and made my life better in so many ways.
She became a friend first. The best kind of lover.
“Here you go.” Steven hands me another pour, then sits down next to me. “If she can’t see the value in you, then fuck her.”
“Don’t say that.” I meet his gaze with quiet resolve. “She’s a good person. Just because I’m not the right one for her doesn’t make her bad.”
“I know.” He sighs. “I do love me some Sam. I just don’t like that she’s hurt you.”
“Hey, I’ll be okay. I always am.” I give a playful wink in hopes to lighten the mood. “We can all be friends.”
“As long as she doesn’t take my place.” Steven gives me the side eye, trying to get a smile from me.
I do oblige him. “No one can take your place, boo.” I love his heart. “How are you and Luke?”
Steven leans back in his chair, a wide grin appearing instantly. “It’s pretty damn great.” I can tell it’s more than great.
“Has my best friend fallen in love?” I wait for him to deny it because I’ve never known him to be in love with anyone.
“I don’t know. He’s better than anyone I’ve ever met. Patient and kind. He’s not pushy and tolerates my humor. He loves to cuddle on the couch or go out to dinner when I’m in that spontaneous mood of trying something new.”
“Well, shit! You better put a ring on it.” I laugh. “Seriously though. That sounds pretty damn special.”
Steven sighs. “It really is. I want to be around him all the time. You know that’s not like me.”
He’s right. It isn’t like him. “It’s okay to let yourself embrace love. Just let it happen and enjoy the experience. I know you’re scared of being hurt, but if you don’t let the right one in, you could miss out on the greatest love you’ve ever known. And you are the most deserving man I know.”
A comfortable silence falls upon us. I can tell Steven’s taking in what I said and moving them around in his mind.
I have no doubt that he’s in love with Luke.
Steven’s guarded when it comes to his heart with men.
He’s been the playboy type, but it’s all a front.
He was hurt really badly once, and it scarred him.
I know deep down he just wants to be loved as much as he loves.
In this world, it isn’t easy to trust people.
Dating isn’t easy. Small talk is hard. Love is taken freely but not given equally.
But this feels different. I don’t know Luke, but from what I’ve seen, he seems genuine. Kind.
“You seem to know the right words to say when I need to hear them.” Steven stands and pulls me to my feet for a hug. “I needed this. Thank you for being you.”
“Don’t let happiness pass you by. Luke is a good one.”
Steven sighs. “He is.”
I kiss his cheek. “Are you hungry?” I don’t have much of an appetite, but all of the love talk is getting to me.
“I could eat.” Steven grabs his glass, then my hand as we make our way inside. Friends like him don’t come around often. In a world that keeps changing, he’s one of the few things that still feels steady.