Chapter 10 #2
He patted me on the shoulder. “My girlfriend hates it when I’m late, but she’s learned that animals don’t care about time.”
“Let’s hope Francis agrees.”
I took the quickest shower ever, cut myself shaving, then looked down and thought about what Roger said…
and sighed. “Let’s hope he doesn’t mind the pelt.
” I applied extra deodorant, some aloe vera for the cuts, wished I had time to give my hair a buzz, or at least tame my eyebrows, but it was already seven.
I threw on my nicest black denim, a black, white, and tan bowling-style shirt with a white tank undershirt, and my black leather Adidas. It was going to have to be good enough.
I grabbed Francis’s tool bag with his gift inside and took off for his place.
I was pleased to see at least twenty to thirty people congregating around the back patio, including Derek, Roger, and Arnie.
There was a bar set up, with a guy I recognized from Foggy Basin Brewery pouring some of their best brews and soft drinks.
Francis had told me this first party would be a host bar and that, in the future, there would be a “donations appreciated” sign.
He planned to keep the retreat nonprofit as long as he was able, keeping costs down to make the space and classes affordable for his guests.
I hadn’t wanted to pry about his financial situation at all, but I hoped he was in the position to do all this.
“Showoffs,” I said to my colleagues. They were wearing nice dress shirts and slacks with loafers. Derek stood between them with a shy perma-smile on his face, wearing light khakis and a dressy black polo shirt that looked very Patagonia Silicon Valley.
“Eh, I guess you cleaned up okay,” Roger said, as he pulled me in for a hug. Arnie gave me the hand-slap-bro hug, and then I held out my hand to Derek, who shook it enthusiastically.
“Francis will be so glad to see you. He, um, has an issue.”
My chest tightened, and I turned for the house. “Where is he?”
“Come on, I’ll show you.” Derek took me by the arm and led me away from his admirers, who looked lost as we crossed the patio together.
“Please don’t say anything,” Derek whispered to me, as he went in the slider.
“Don’t worry. Rog filled me in. I won’t say a word.”
“Oh, thank goodness,” Derek’s mother Judy said. “I thought you promised no snakes,” she hissed at us when we entered the kitchen.
“I… snakes?”
“One of your snakes is in the laundry room,” Anne said with a fake smile plastered on her mouth. She spoke through gritted teeth, as though she didn’t want the whole party to know there was a monster in the house. “Francis is trying to keep it contained. I don’t want to lose my only son, Kendall.”
What the… a snake in the house? Shit. I hoped it wasn’t a rattlesnake.
“Was it making any noise? The snake?”
The women shook their heads.
“Beats me. I saw it and screamed,” Anne said. “I told Francis that homeownership comes with challenges, but I don’t want him to die in his new house.”
“I promise, Ms. Lau, I don’t keep snakes. Derek, can you please put this in Francis’s office for me?”
Derek took the bag from me, and I made my way down the hall past the kitchen toward the back, where I knew there was a mudroom and washing machines.
“Francis?” I tapped on the door. “It’s me.”
He pulled the pocket door open two inches.
“Thank God. Please tell me you can get this thing out of here. It must have come up through the second drain. There’s no grate on it.
” The door opened the rest of the way, he grabbed the front of my shirt and dragged me inside.
He was standing on a five-gallon bucket and had a broom in his hands.
“Are you okay?”
He nodded, frowning in concentration. “Every time it pokes its head out, I move the broom around, and it ducks back under the washer. I don’t want it out in the middle of the party.
” He glanced at me. “Jesus, those pants. You’re a dish, darling.
I’m glad you’re here.” He stuck his cheek out my way and tapped it for a kiss.
I was glad to oblige. “Your auntie said the snake didn’t make any noise?”
“No, it’s not a rattlesnake. It’s got bands, not stripes? I don’t think it’s a bad one, but any snake inside my house is not my friend. We can be friends once he’s outside or behind glass or something. Kendall, I promised my mom not too much nature, and we’re dangerously close to too much nature.”
“Okay. It’s going to be okay.”
He really was being so brave, ready to sacrifice himself for his guests. For all he knew it was a poisonous snake.
“Let’s see what we’ve got. Here, hop on my back. I’m going to sit you over on the counter, okay? I’ll use that bucket to catch him and let him go outside.”
He nodded, his eyes never leaving the space under the washer. “I can do that.”
I stood before him, and he climbed on carefully, still holding the broom in one hand. I loved the feel of his muscular thighs in my hands, but I couldn’t get distracted.
“Want to hand that to me?” I asked.
“How will I protect you?”
Be still my heart.
“I got this, baby.”
“I’m so glad you’re here,” he said, kissing behind my ear. “I’ve been so anxious all day.”
“I’m so damn sorry I’m late—”
“No, you’re fine. I just couldn’t wait to see you.”
“God, same.” I carried him across the room and sat him on the counter next to the washer, and he scrambled backward. “This shouldn’t be too bad. I’m just going to move the washer and see if I can get him to come out. You said there’s a drain without a cover?”
“Yeah, behind the washer. I was going to have Miguel fix it, but there were other, more pressing things when he was here, like making sure that damned toilet doesn’t turn into Niagara Falls again.”
“Right. Here we go.”
I backed up, picked up the bucket, and sat it on the counter next to him.
“Be careful,” he said to me, touching my forearm.
“It’s okay. Where are you, little buddy?”
“Uh-uh, little buddy is Tony Curtis, not this guy.”
I chuckled as I gripped the washing machine and bent my knees. Thankfully this room was big and had a leveled concrete floor. “This shouldn’t scratch the floor, but if it does, I’ll fix it.”
“Who cares if it gets scratched? Lives are at stake. If you catch this snake, I’m so rewarding you tonight.”
“Baby, you’re distracting me.” I turned and winked at him.
I pulled the washer to the side, and sure enough…
“Look at you, handsome.” I reached for the bucket, took the lid off, and moved closer to the snake, who was probably a little stunned. “Francis, meet the California kingsnake. He’s not harmful at all. Come on, little guy, I gotcha.”
He was moving pretty slow, so I grabbed him behind the head and around the middle.
“Ohmygoshness you’re just… you just picked him up? Kendall!” He grabbed for the bucket, but I shook my head.