Chapter 15
People in love were often illogical. After I drove Harabeoji to the Yuns’ house and returned to Sandpiper Lane, Minjae’s convertible sat by the curb.
It didn’t make sense to me that he’d left his car at the Ahns’ place to ride with Channing to the beach club only to then drive all the way back, and then return to the club in his car.
It was nearing nine o’clock. To me the day was over, but Channing and Minjae didn’t agree.
She was in the kitchen disinfecting the sink while Minjae was in the living room.
The kitchen was already spotless, but she was determined to make it even cleaner.
She’d never changed this much in previous relationships.
Housework of any sort used to be unnecessary in her mind.
I wasn’t sure I liked this version of my cousin.
Where had the real Channing gone? She had a wide smile on her face. “Wasn’t today a great day?”
“Best blue sky?” I joked.
“You’re not funny,” she said, but she sat down beside me. “The kids went right to sleep.”
“And how beautiful is the sky today? How blue? I don’t think I’ve ever seen it so blue,” I said as I looked around. “Where’s your Mongryong?”
She rolled her eyes and laughed. “Stop, he didn’t say it like that. He’s in the living room calling his mom like he does every other day. Such a good son,” she said.
“Why doesn’t he do that back in his place at the club?”
“Why not here?” she said to me with a shrug and a smile she was trying to suppress.
I walked over to her and made her face me. Her eyes were bright, rimmed in pink that looked like a blush rather than an illness. “Okay, what’s happened? How’s Minjae different from the others?”
“I’m just happy,” she said.
“But you’ve been happy about others. The one in Boston, the one in Fall River, the one in Springfield, and Providence—they were all potentially your Mongryong.”
“I get why you’d say that, so I’m not going to try to convince you. It feels new. People call it sparks, but I never understood until now.”
I hoped she was right. “Okay, fine. I’m happy for you,” I said, and gave her a hug. I was still worried though. “But don’t we have to figure out what to do about Kent? Did you hear that woman at dinner? Kent is telling everyone he’s engaged to you,” I began. “How can he go around saying that?”
“It’s a waste of time trying to figure him out,” she said. She opened a cabinet and began writing a list on her phone. “You were right this morning, we need more food for the week.”
“Wait, don’t change the subject. You were so freaked out when you saw Kent at the club.”
Channing’s hands clenched the drawer handle of the cabinet. “I texted him that today wasn’t going to work. You saw me do that.”
“He told Harabeoji you’d promised to spend the day with him, which you did in your text.
All Harabeoji could say was that he was mistaken.
And then he walked him to the parking lot and Kent left so it’s fine,” I told her.
My grandfather had described the entire interaction on the car ride afterward when I took him back to the Yuns’ house.
He seemed slightly shaken up by it. He had said to me, “I didn’t know what to do so I just started walking, and it was good he went because that man only listens to himself. ”
“How ridiculous is that?” Channing shook her head. “Minjae says not to worry. I’m not going to let Kent bother me anymore.”
I wanted to believe her. “What are you going to do when Harabeoji and I leave?”
She closed the cabinet. At that moment she looked so much like her mother, I wondered why I’d never noticed before. “Dahee, remember when you said we should live the way we want?”
I must have looked perplexed, because she nodded and continued, “We were kids and you refused to go to school. It was after you got lost in that storm. Harabeoji and I stayed for a few more days during that visit, and I remember overhearing you fighting with your mom. You said you weren’t going to school ever again.
I was so shocked because I’d never thought going to school was a choice.
Your mom said everyone will talk about you if you don’t go, and you said, ‘Why does it matter what they say. We should live the way we want.’”
I didn’t remember saying any of that or ever being angry at my mother like Channing described. I’d continued going to school after that incident. Channing had quit in eleventh grade. Apparently, I’d inadvertently given her the idea to give up on school years earlier.
“It was freeing to realize I had a choice.” Channing looked concerned. “You okay, Dahee?”
Guilt squeezed my chest, making it hard to breathe, but I nodded and tried to concentrate on her words.
“Look, you’re right,” Channing said. “Why did seeing Kent at the beach club unnerve me so much? I had every right to be there just as he did. I almost made all of us change our plans to avoid him. We were having fun at the pool, and I made us walk out to the breakwater.”
“That wasn’t so bad, the kids liked it,” I said.
She scoffed. “Sure. And then we almost didn’t get to eat dinner there, and the kids were hungry. I was trying to find a way to go all the way around to avoid him. But I’m not doing it anymore.”
I was glad to see her as herself again, the part that was brave. True to who she was. Harabeoji had intervened for her and given her enough space to find her voice again. We just had to forge ahead and not be deterred by this man who was a close friend of her employers.
“Since you’ve been here, Kent hasn’t used the code to let himself into the house again,” Channing said. “Maybe he won’t now. I need this job, but whatever; I don’t care. How much do I have to deal with for this money?”
“You’re halfway there now. It’s going to be okay,” I said.
She pointed to the refrigerator. “Put milk and eggs on the list?”
I checked and told her a few more items were needed. “We have time to run to the store if we hurry,” she said. “Minjae will take me. You’re right—it is going to be okay. I know you’re worried. Don’t be,” she said, and she flung an arm around me before calling to Minjae to join her.
An hour and a half later, they hadn’t returned.
Channing hadn’t told me she was going somewhere in addition to the grocery store, but I didn’t think to worry even though her location showed her past the town limits.
She was with Minjae. They were in love. Driving around aimlessly, like lovers did.
I was checking the lock before heading upstairs when I saw a figure through the glass on the side of the front door.
Kent was dressed casually this time in a cotton sweater and loose pants with sneakers.
He was bent with his fingers poised at the level where you punched in the door code.
When he saw me, he quickly put his hand in his pocket.
Mosquitos and other strange insects I couldn’t identify were flying above his head, circling the light above the entrance.
“Dahee, how are you? I was about to ring the doorbell but didn’t want to wake the kids so I thought I’d come in quietly to say hi,” he said with earnestness.
That familiar tingle flared up in my hands. “Kent, it’s late,” I replied. I was astonished at his audacity.
“I was checking in because I promised their parents I would,” he said.
“Channing told you not to do this, didn’t she? You can’t just let yourself in whenever you want. You know the code is only for emergencies.”
He raised a foot and then put it down, first left and right, and then looked back up at me. “I have to give the parents a report tomorrow. I want to make sure Channing is doing all the things she’s supposed to.”
He didn’t ask once if he could talk to her. Did he know she’d gone out?
“Also, if she showed you those emails I sent her, they were the wrong links.” He shook his head and laughed awkwardly.
“I meant to send her different ones, on self-empowerment. She’s got so much potential.
It would be such a loss to the whole community if she wasted it.
We can all benefit if each person is contributing their best self.
I’m here to learn as much as anyone is. Each day teaches us all so much, and we must strive toward gratitude. ”
What emails? Channing hadn’t mentioned them.
“I care about East End,” he continued when I was silent, and then gave me a look that might have been a warning except I didn’t know what he was cautioning me about.
“I’m sure you do,” I said.
“I should go.” He rapped his knuckles on the doorframe. “I’ll check tomorrow to be sure my word is good. What do you say? Seven o’clock for dinner?”
“We have plans tomorrow, I’m sorry,” I said.
“That’s a lie,” he said bitterly.
I was startled but regained my composure.
The genius of his accusation caused me to want to give him evidence to the contrary.
“I’m not, actually—” I stopped myself from offering any more information.
My plan was to be on the road with Harabeoji headed back home, but I didn’t want to tell him in case our presence in the house actually was deterring him from coming in whenever he wanted.
Let him think we’d be around a while longer, I told myself.
“I will see you all tomorrow,” he said.
“Okay then,” I said just to be agreeable, so he’d leave.
I felt like closing the door in his face, but I knew he’d construe that action as aggressive.
The message I’d received from both American and Korean culture was to never be forceful when faced with a threatening man.
Cajole him, placate him, play dead. Be careful as if I were confronting a lean tiger.
He nodded. “The boys have to go to day camp tomorrow. It’s not good that they missed so many days last week.”
“Oh, you heard about that, too,” I said. “I promise you they’ll be at camp tomorrow.” I couldn’t help myself; I began to close the door.
“East End is where I’m going to raise my children with Channing,” he said.
What gave him the right to impose his imagination on me and my cousin? “You know Channing can’t have children?” I meant to say she didn’t want to have children, but I realized I’d gone just a little further. A clear fib. I hoped it would change his mind.
He narrowed his eyes at me. “What does that mean?”
I opened the door wider and leaned against the frame. “It’s not my place to tell you the details, just know that she can’t get pregnant.”
He sniffed. “There’s always IVF or even surrogacy.”
“Maybe, but I think it’s her eggs. I mean, why put her through that kind of hell?
” There was more I found myself wanting to add, about her not wanting to be a parent, the future being catastrophic on our planet for human life in the imminent future.
It was everything I had begun to believe.
I wanted to convince him she didn’t have a choice so he’d leave her alone.
I stood there watching his face contort as he grappled with this new information.