Dress It Up (The Donovans #7)

PROLOGUE

FOUR MONTHS AGO

LARA

I rested my hand on Jeremy’s, stopping him from putting the truck into gear. When he glanced over with a frown, I said, “There’s something I need to talk to you about before we leave.”

“Can we talk on the way? We’re going to be late if we don’t leave now.”

“I don’t think I should go.”

“Then why have I been waiting for you to get ready for the last twenty minutes?” Jeremy snapped. “Jesus, Lara. What’s the problem? You’ve been acting strange all week, and it’s gotten to the point where I just want you to either spit it out or get over it. Damn.”

“I’ll spit it out, then,” I retorted. “I don’t think we should see each other anymore.”

“What?”

“I’ve been thinking about our future for a while now, and I’ve realized this isn’t just something I can get past.”

“What isn’t?”

“We have different goals in life, Jer. They’re so different that I can’t see either of us being happy if we try to force this to work.”

“Fuck it. Let’s just have kids, then,” he snapped. “Will that get you off my ass and make you the Lara I know again?”

I stared at him coldly. “That’s your solution? ‘Fuck it’?”

“What else am I supposed to say? Obviously, you’re not going to be happy until you squeeze out a few kids, and I don’t want to lose you, so it’s a compromise.”

“This isn’t something we can compromise on, Jeremy. You can’t just say, ‘Fuck it, let’s have a few kids,’ and expect me to think that’s a good idea.”

“Then what do you want from me? I’ve already got my own kids, and they’re finally old enough to wipe their own asses and heat up their own food. Excuse me if I’m not foaming at the mouth to go through the diaper-and-puke stage all over again.”

“You made that perfectly clear the last time I mentioned wanting kids.”

“You’ve got kids in and out of your fucking apartment all the goddamn time,” he snarled. “My kids think you’re great. Hell, they like you more than they like me half the time, but that’s not enough? What more do you want?”

“I love my nieces and nephews, and I love your kids, Jeremy. I do. But you said it yourself. They’re your kids.

They have a mother. I want to be a mom in every sense, not just a fun aunt or a part-time stepmom.

I can’t do that with you. We should go our separate ways now, before things get bitter and we say something we’ll regret. ”

“I’ve spent two fucking years with you,” Jeremy growled. We haven’t had any real problems, but you want to throw it all away on a whim?”

“That’s the thing, Jeremy. It’s not a whim. When we first met, I told you I wanted to have a family of my own, and you seemed excited about it. But over time, that excitement just . . . fizzled.”

“Here’s a little tip, Lara: men lie to get what they want just as much as women do.”

“What?”

“Obviously, you’ve been living a lie for a while now, because I made it perfectly clear that I wasn’t doing that shit again.

I felt that way from the beginning, but I hoped it wasn’t going to be something you insisted on.

I figured you’d just let it go. You aren’t exactly the most driven person when it comes to getting what you want. ”

“You thought I’d just forget about something so important to me?” I asked. “Wait! You said I was lying, but you just admitted you lied too.”

“I was just trying to get laid, Lara. I said what you wanted to hear.”

“Wow. Just wow.”

“Don’t act shocked, sweetheart. I’m not the first man to . . .”

“You’re not the first man to lie to me, but you’re not going to do it again,” I said, throwing the door open. “Goodbye, Jeremy.”

“Come on, Lara. Let’s talk about this.”

“I’m good, thanks,” I said sarcastically as I got out and turned back to face him.

I was about to slam the door and walk away when he leaned across the seat. “Let’s give this a few days and then talk when we’re both calm and rational, okay? You’ve still got things at my house that I know . . .”

“Actually, I don’t. I knew how this conversation was going to go, so I got all of my things yesterday while you were at work. I left your stuff from my house in a box on top of the freezer in the garage.”

“You planned this?”

“I didn’t want to, but I knew it was going to come to this. I didn’t want there to be a reason to make it harder than it has to be.”

Jeremy slammed the heel of his hand against the steering wheel. “This isn’t over, Lara. You’ll come crawling back because you’re never gonna find a man who will put up with your bullshit or your family crawling up his ass twenty-four-seven like I have.”

“I’ll be sure to let them know what a burden that was for you,” I said evenly. “And I’ll make sure they don’t bother you anymore.”

“Fuck you!”

“We’ve done that plenty, but unlike most things in life, it didn’t get better with practice,” I snapped. I slammed the door and walked away.

I could hear muted yelling from inside his truck before he sped away from the curb, going much too fast for a residential street. I watched him turn the corner, surprised to find that I didn’t feel sad or even unhappy.

More than anything, I felt relieved.

I considered taking a drive to clear my head, but I realized I didn’t need to. For the first time in a while, my mind was clear. It wasn’t muddled with worry about whether I was really willing to give up on a “good man” like Jeremy for that one thing: children of my own.

Now, I didn’t have to pretend I was okay. I knew deep in my heart I had been settling, something my parents always told me never to do if there was any other way to make things happen.

It was my time to make things happen.

Instead of settling for a husband without children, maybe I should settle on having children without a husband. From every angle, that seemed like a better path than sacrificing my dream for a man who never really shared it.

It was time to move on, and I was going to do that by throwing my birth control in the trash and scheduling an appointment with my gynecologist to talk about artificial insemination. If I couldn’t have the whole enchilada, I’d settle for the best part and have a child all by myself.

◆◆◆

SHILOH

“How have you been since the last time I saw you?”

I glanced up from my plate and saw my old friend Dante watching me. I gave him a small shrug. “Well, considering I’ve been back in the system and out again since then, I’d say I’m doing just fine. I’m rebuilding. Again.”

“Boss said you’re having trouble finding work.”

I looked back at my plate and grimaced. “With my history, people aren’t exactly beating down my door with job offers. And after that bullshit with Bobbye, my already sterling reputation took a pretty big hit.”

“How is your daughter doing?” Dante asked.

“She’s coping, but it’s a battle. No matter how many times I tell her I don’t blame her, she still feels guilty for doubting me. I’m just glad it’s over and the right guy is finally paying for what he did to Bobbye.”

Dante shook his head. “That was a fucked-up situation. I’m just glad the cops found the right guy even when everything pointed to you.”

“I’m trying to treat it as a learning experience and move on. At least, I’m trying. Luckily, Raylee has her Social Security, so she’s taken care of. But without a steady job, it’s getting harder and harder for me to cover the rent and the bills without blowing through my savings.”

“I’m glad you have that cushion, but I know the pressure makes it hard to keep your nose clean.”

“I’m not going to do anything to risk my future,” I assured him. “Not now that things are finally good with my daughter.” I shifted the focus, eager to move on. “How are things with you, now that you’re back in your hometown for good?”

“I can’t complain. I’ve got a great life, a wonderful woman, and so many kids that there aren’t enough hours in the day to get everything accomplished.”

“That does sound like a great life,” I said.

I pushed my plate toward the center of the table and wiped my mouth.

I gave him a small smile. “Hopefully, I’ll be able to say the same someday.

I’m not getting any younger, so I doubt there are any more kids in my future, but the rest of it sounds wonderful. ”

“I might be able to kick-start that.”

I asked flatly, “What, are you gonna give me some of yours?”

“There are days I’d consider it,” Dante said with a grin. “But no. No matter how crazy they make me, I’m keeping them. Besides, I’m pretty sure Jolie would frown on me giving away the kids.”

“You think?”

“I think I’ve got a solution for at least a few of your other problems, though, even if I can’t help you with that one.”

“What kind of solution?” I asked.

“I want to spend more time with Jolie and the kids and do all the things my dad couldn’t because he was always at the shop.

I need a manager to handle the scheduling and the crew and who isn’t afraid to get some grease on their hands.

My brother has been a huge help since he got home, but he wants his freedom for the same reason I want the help. ”

“A shop manager?” I asked, the weight of the words sinking in.

“You wouldn’t happen to know anyone who fits the bill, would you?”

“You know I do.”

“Imagine that.” Dante’s serious expression broke into a knowing smile. “But he’d have to be someone I knew I could trust with the books. Someone who’ll help me build the shop’s reputation.”

“Don’t tease me, Dante.”

“I’m not teasing you, asshole. I’m offering you a job.”

“No shit?”

Dante smirked. “You’re really bombing this interview, man.”

“I didn’t know it was an interview. You’re seriously offering me a job?”

“I am. And I’ve even got a place for you and your daughter to live.”

“Holy shit,” I whispered, leaning back against the booth. “You’re really not fucking with me?”

“Why is that so hard to believe?” Dante asked. Before I could answer, he laughed bitterly. “No, I get it. I’ve been in your shoes. I’ll never forget how hard it was to start over. Hell, I know it’s been even harder for you since your ex died.”

“When can I start?”

“How soon can you get to Marlboro?”

“If I could, I’d ride home right now and start packing.”

“The job and the house will be waiting whenever you’re ready,” Dante said, extending his hand.

I shook it, feeling a heavy weight vanish from my chest when he said, “Congratulations, Shiloh. You’re hired.”

With Raylee’s encouragement, I’d accepted the invitation to meet my club brothers in Rojo just to reconnect and hang out for a few days. I had no idea it would change my life.

With Dante’s help, I could finally get away from the people who refused to forgive my past sins.

In my hometown, I’ll always be “that Duvall boy who can’t stay out of trouble.

” I was tired of people looking at my daughter and wondering when she would jump on the family roller coaster and start fucking up like her mother, or end up in prison like me.

Marlboro was the change we needed. I couldn’t wait to tell Raylee; I knew she’d be just as excited as I was.