5.
Marry a man who is the reason you get a note from the teacher asking your husband to please not use classic rock musical references to help your children with history homework. Apparently, Galileo wasn’t just a poor boy from a poor family. Who knew?
Jolie Pardo
SHILOH
When we stopped at a red light, I looked over my shoulder and asked, “Are you ready for dessert?”
“Not if it means we have to stop riding.”
Finally! A woman who enjoyed riding as much as I did. But it was getting late, and I didn’t want to miss the shop Lara had mentioned, so I suggested, “Let’s go have dessert, and then we can ride as long as you want.”
“I like that idea even better,” Lara said cheerfully. “I think that should be my new motto: ice cream first.”
I was still laughing when the light turned green, and I took off, happy to feel her hands splay across my stomach as she held on tight. It didn’t take long to make it across town, and the empty store didn’t surprise me when we walked inside.
I led Lara up to the counter and asked, “Do you mind if we sit inside, or is it too close to closing time? I’d hate to get in your way.”
The young employee assured me we had plenty of time, then gave us a few minutes to look over their choices. As we weighed our options, Lara leaned in and said, “That was nice of you to ask if we were too late.”
“I’ve worked in food service and retail before. Customers who meander in right before closing have to be one of the most infuriating parts of the job.”
Lara laughed softly. “I’ll admit it’s annoying, but as a store owner myself, I usually don’t mind as long as there’s a sale involved.”
“Fair point.”
“I still think it was polite of you to ask, though.”
“Good. Put a tally in the plus column of my spreadsheet.”
“You think I have a spreadsheet?”
“You seem like the type.”
“I’m not sure whether I should feel seen or insulted,” she said.
“Aw, Cupcake, surely by now you know I’m not the kind of guy who would go out of his way to insult you.”
“What’s with the nickname?” Lara asked, her head falling back as she let out a frustrated growl. Addressing the ceiling as if she were talking to a higher power, she asked, “Does he just want me to make him cry?”
“I could call you something derogatory like ‘sugar tits,’” I replied, “but that wouldn’t be fair since I haven’t gotten to taste them yet.”
Lara gasped, staring at me in mock horror. She finally pulled herself together, scowled, and said, “It would only happen once . . . uh . . . er . . . Sweet Potato!”
“Really? That’s all you’ve got?”
“I’ll just call you random food items until one sticks.”
“I’m okay with that,” I said with a shrug, smiling at the employee who was walking back over to take our order. I glanced at Lara. “Do you know what you want, Cupcake?”
Lara hummed, raising an eyebrow at me. “Do you know what you want, Cauliflower?”
“I’ve got a pretty good idea.”
◆◆◆
I felt Lara press against me to escape the cold.
It made sense, since we’d been riding through the open country for hours under a dark sky, with no cover from the cool breeze.
I pulled off the highway at the next exit and turned into the parking lot of a business that had probably been closed for hours.
As soon as we came to a stop, Lara asked, “Why are we here?”
I killed the engine and dismounted. “I need to get you a jacket.”
“You have one?”
“Do you want it?”
“Duh, Pookie Boo! I’m freezing my ass off!”
“Why didn’t you say something?”
“Because I thought that would mean we would have to go home.”
“You’re enjoying it that much?”
“I love it. I’ve ridden with my brother quite a bit, and I’m always nervous at first, but once I relax and start watching the scenery, my brain shuts off and I can just . . .”
“Be?” I asked as I patted her thigh, gesturing for her to shift it so I could open the saddlebag. “Is that what you mean?”
“Yes! It’s like the cobwebs are getting blown out as I relax, and I can start thinking more clearly.”
“Thinking isn’t exactly the best way to relax.” I sifted through the items in the bag and pulled out a pack of gum I’d forgotten was there. I took a piece before handing the package to her. “I get what you mean, though. After riding for a while, I start seeing things from a different angle.”
“Exactly! I’ve planned out how I’m going to rearrange my shop and thought of two different window displays that I can’t wait to start working on!”
“Biscuit will probably enjoy helping you do all of that.”
“Why do you call her Biscuit?”
I laughed softly, remembering what Raylee was like as a baby. I took the gum back from her and dropped it into the case before I handed her a hoodie. Since her hands were full, I took her chin between my thumb and forefinger and turned her toward me to unlatch her helmet, then gently lifted it off.
Lara shook her head and sighed before pulling on my hoodie.
As she rolled up the cuffs, I told her, “When she was first starting on solid foods, Raylee refused to eat baby food. She’d have a fit if she saw me eating something and I didn’t offer to share.
I knew she wouldn’t get the nutrition she needed, and she probably couldn’t stomach the spice in most of the things I eat, so I compromised.
I crumbled up a biscuit from Popeye’s and stirred some of her baby food in with the pieces.
She ate like she’d been starving for days.
After that, it wasn’t a problem to get her to eat anything as long as there was a biscuit involved. ”
“So why do you call me Cupcake?”
I hooted with laughter and shook my head. “I’m not going to explain why until we know each other better. Much better.”
“Now I’m really curious. I thought it was some sort of biker slang. I didn’t realize there was an actual reason behind it.”
“Oh, there’s a reason,” I assured her.
“I want to know what it is.”
“In time, Cupcake. You’ll just have to be patient.”
“That’s not one of my strong suits.”
“Don’t you know patience is a virtue?” I asked.
“After sitting on the back of this growly motorcycle with my arms wrapped around you for the last hour, the last thing on my mind is my virtue.” Lara froze, her eyes widening.
She shook her head and mimed pressing a button, making a high-pitched whirring sound.
“Okay, I’ve rewound. Let me try that again. ”
“Rewind? Aren’t you a little young to remember cassette tapes?”
“My parents used the tape deck in our house for ages, so I know what I’m talking about!” Lara scoffed. “You act like you’re decades older than I am.”
“Not decades, but a few years, at least.”
“You’re forty, and I’m thirty-four,” she said. “That’s only a big age gap if one of us is still in high school.”
I laughed as I reached over and settled her helmet back over her head. Once I had it secured, I asked, “Now that we’ve had a math and morality lesson, can we go back to that comment about your virtue?”
“Nope. I rewound it and already recorded over that part.”
I leaned closer until our lips were almost touching and whispered, “I’d like to say your virtue is safe with me, but if you could read my mind, you’d know that was a lie.”
Lara frowned at me. Just as I was about to pull back, she grabbed the front of my shirt to hold me still.
She kept the frown for a few seconds, then twisted her head and spat her gum on the pavement.
I was so shocked to see such a beautiful, put-together woman do something so unrefined that I didn’t realize she’d turned back toward me until she used the footpegs to push herself up, aligning her lips with mine.
The moment her tongue darted out to touch my lips, I pulled her off the bike and into my arms to deepen our connection.
She wrapped her legs around my waist, and with her arms around my neck and her thighs gripping my hips, I let my hands slide down to cup her ass.
I groaned when she shifted, pressing her core against my zipper.
I throbbed with such an intensity that I wondered how I had enough blood coursing through my veins to stay upright, but I forced myself to stand. I wasn’t about to let this kiss end. It seemed that Lara was feeling the same attraction.
However, a loud horn ruined the moment. The sound jolted us both, reminding us that we were standing in a parking lot right off the highway.
Lara lurched back so far I nearly lost my grip on her, but she grabbed my shoulders to steady herself.
Of course, that put her helmet directly in line with my face.
Thump.
I saw stars as her helmet collided with my nose. I felt a sudden, warm stream of blood start flowing over my lips.
“Oh, fuck!” she exclaimed.
I wiped my hand across my mouth and looked at the red on my fingers. “Well, Cupcake, give me a minute to clean up this mess, and I’ll get right on that.”
◆◆◆
A nurse I hadn’t seen before touched Lara’s shoulder. “Ma’am, would you mind coming down to the desk and filling out a few papers for us?”
At the same time, the nurse who had been in a few minutes earlier stepped up to the gurney where I sat waiting for the doctor.
“I’ll be right back, okay, Snookums?” Lara asked.
“I don’t like that one,” I said, ashamed at how nasally my voice sounded.
Lara winced as stood up to follow the nurse. She gave me a tight smile. “Me neither. I’ll find one eventually.”
“We’ve got nothing but time, Cupcake.”
As soon as the door clicked shut behind her, the nurse met my eyes. With an earnest expression, she asked, “Do you feel safe, Mr. Duvall?”
“Should I not?”
“I understand that it might be difficult to admit we need help, but I want you to know that there are programs for . . .”
“Help? With what? I just want you to reset my nose.”
“If you’re unsafe at home or you’re being abused, all you have to do is tell me. We can get you protection . . .”
“You think Lara did this on purpose?”
The nurse glanced at the door and pursed her lips. “We’re not here to cast blame or make any judgments, sir.”
“Ma’am, it was an accident.” When the nurse frowned, I could tell she didn’t believe me. It was sad to think of how many times she’d encountered patients who really were victims, but I couldn’t help but laugh at her expression.
“I promise. We were making out beside my bike when some trucker honked his fucking horn. He spooked us, and I damn near dropped her. She caught herself and managed not to fall, but she headbutted me with her helmet in the process. I felt my nose break the moment it hit. When she pulled out her phone to inspect the damage, she burst into tears. She apologized the entire ride over here.”
I shook my head, a grin reminding me how sore my face would be for a while. “It was all I could do not to laugh when that itty-bitty woman tried to help my big ass off my motorcycle so she could prop me up as we walked across the parking lot to the door.”
“There is blood on her hands and all over her shirt. There’s even spray on her face, so . . .”
“Well, all I had to plug my nose was three napkins from a fast-food joint,” I said.
“I did my best to shove them into my nostrils so I could drive, but the wind caught them, and they went flying. I must have left a trail of blood droplets for at least a mile. If anyone sees them and reports it, some poor homicide detective is gonna shit himself trying to figure out what the hell happened.”
The nurse sniffed, clearly trying to stop herself from laughing. I winced when I smiled, and it moved my swollen cheeks and nose.
“If that’s the case, I’ll have her come back in.”
“Thanks for trying to help me. I don’t need it, but if there was something I could do to help someone who does, I’d be glad to.”
“That’s sweet.”
“Nothing sweet about it, ma’am. I’m dead serious. If you ever need me, just get my number off my chart and give me a call, day or night.”
The nurse stood, searching my face. “You are serious.”
“As a fucking heart attack.”
“Your girlfriend is lucky to have a man like you in her life.”
“Technically, she’s not my girlfriend yet. Tonight was our first date, and we were in the middle of our first kiss when this shit happened.” I pointed to my injured face.
This time the nurse couldn’t hold it in and let out a genuine guffaw.
I knew how comical the whole thing was, but I didn’t dare laugh and make my fucking face hurt any worse.
With a final pat on my shoulder, she left, still chuckling.
I was sure the other nurses would get quite a laugh at my expense when she told the story.
Lara walked back in, her brow furrowed. “I don’t know what that was about, but the entire situation was just weird.
She called me down to the nurses’ station and then acted like she didn’t know what she was doing while she looked for whatever she needed me to fill out.
Not that I could fill it out anyway, since I barely know you.
I’m not sure we should trust her to help care for you. ”
“They thought you might have done this on purpose,” I said, my voice still thick. “They made an excuse to get you out of here so the nurse could counsel me and offer protection if I needed it.”
Lara stared at me in horror. “You’re never gonna kiss me again, are you?” she whispered.
“Honey, as soon as I’m able to breathe through my nose, I’m gonna kiss you until we both forget our names.”
“I’m going to hold you to that.”