Chapter 10
Gusty conditions outside the nail salon
The salon has a deal on Wednesday after five. Happy hour, but for nails. Half price.
Happiness fizzes in my chest when I peek at my wriggling toes. I grin. It’s been a long time since I indulged in a pedicure, but I adore the watermelon pink that the nail tech convinced me to try. It’s summery and girly. It’s brave.
I carefully step out of the salon, glancing at my sandals, still nervous about smudging the polish even though I know it’s dry. I jiggle the strap of my bag into place on my shoulder, look up and—
Of course.
Kristen marches down the sidewalk, heading straight for me in her blazer and skin-tight business skirt. She slows as she gives me her usual critical scan from head to toe.
“Elsie.” She makes no attempt to smile. “How wonderful to see you again so soon.”
A brittle laugh lodges in my throat. Wonderful? Not how I’d describe this. So soon? Way too soon. We saw each other at the community center last night. I’ll see her there again tomorrow. A third encounter this week is one too many.
“Were you getting your nails done?” Kristen smirks. “Oh, honey.” She leans over to tap a condescending pat on my arm. “Did you have to wait for the half-price special?”
I press my lips into a hard line. I hate this.
I can afford a pedicure, but I’m careful with my money at the moment.
I need so much. A car. A down payment on a little house where the stairs don’t threaten to snap under even cautious steps.
I want to establish roots here. That’s worth going without a few nice things for a bit longer.
“Hosko!”
Relief floods me to hear Sawyer’s voice. I can’t hold back my wide smile.
“About time I found you.” Sawyer slips between Kristen and me. “Come on. We’ll be late.”
“Hey, Sawyer!” Kristen is a chameleon when my friend is around. Her voice transforms from a hissing viper to the sweet chirp of a baby bird.
“Hey,” he says.
That one word is all he gives her before his hand settles on my shoulder, steady and reassuring, and he steers me forward. I go willingly, heart pounding, but I’m barely keeping up with him as he moves us down the sidewalk.
Heels click behind us. Kristen jogs a few steps to catch up. “I was thinking of bringing along some Chinese tomorrow night for everyone,” she puffs. “Will you be there?”
“Yeah.” He’s not slowing down. “We’ll be there.”
“We?”
He nods at me without pausing.
“Oh. Elsie’s coming.” Kristen’s carefully controlled sweetness drops for a second. “How great.”
He nudges me to move a little quicker, and I match his pace.
“Bye!” Kristen calls.
Sawyer’s hand drops from my shoulder once we’re far enough away, but he stays close.
I readjust my bag and glance at him. “So, where are we going?”
“Aw, Hosko. I was just tryin’ to rescue you. I wasn’t meanin’ to keep you all to myself.”
“Oh… Yeah…” Disappointment slows me to a stop. My face falls, and I kick at a stray rock with the toe of my sandal, watching it skitter away down the pavement. “Of course.”
Sawyer’s brows knit as if he were recalculating. “I’m headin’ to…the, um…bar.” Why was that so hard for him to get out? He seems nervous. Did I make him uncomfortable? Probably. “You’re more than welcome to join me—”
“Yes!” Excited, I clap my hands.
He chuckles. “I didn’t think you’d want to be stuck with me again.”
“I love hanging out with you. Who else will be there tonight?” I fall into step beside him, but lighter now. Why does being around him make me feel like this? I’m floating. “Cain? Freya?” I love hanging out with them, too. They bicker constantly, but you can tell they’re crazy about each other.
“Aw, nah. Cain shot off the boat as soon as we docked. He’s needed at home tonight.”
“Is something wrong?”
“Ovulation.”
Heat rushes straight to my face. “That’s, um… That’s very personal.”
“Not if you’re stuck with either of them for more than a few minutes. You’ll be hearin’ plenty about basal temperatures and follicular phases if you plan on hangin’ around.”
“Are they trying for a baby?”
He nods.
“So, are you catching up with some of your other friends, then?” I ask.
Luke told me Sawyer knows everyone. I’m not sure how I’ll go meeting too many people at once. I’m hopeless in crowds. And around people. And in noisy bars. God, please don’t let there be karaoke!
“Nah, not tonight,” he says. “I was just gonna find a spot by myself. Sometimes, it’s better for me to have a beer at the bar so there’s a bit of noise behind me.”
“You worry about being on your own?”
He shakes his head. “It’s easy to be on my own. My mum used to worry about me bein’ a bit isolated. Aw, who am I kiddin’? She still worries.”
“But everyone likes you.”
“Not sure about that.”
“You have heaps of friends.”
“I’m lucky to have a few good ones. You need to invest time in the people who will make time for you. It’s somethin’ I work on, even though some days…”
“You enjoy it if it’s just you?”
“You get it.”
I grimace. “Too bad I gatecrashed your quiet time.”
“You did nothin’ of the sort. I consider you one of the people worth investin’ my time in.”
I press my lips together to stop the wobble. Tears are threatening to make an appearance, but I duck my head so he doesn’t see. Kindness is so effortless for some people. He’s a good man.
We leave town behind and head toward the water. The scent of salt hangs in the breeze, and music and laughter spill from the beachside bar long before we walk in. Women’s eyes follow Sawyer all the way to the table on the edge of the deck. Of course they do. He’s noticeable, my hot friend.
“This is an amazing spot.” I sit on the stool he pulls out for me. “I can’t believe it’s free.”
“They reserve it for me on Wednesdays.”
I tease him with a sly smile. “Because you know the guy who owns this place?”
“Yeah.”
“Like Mullie?”
“Nah, Bruiser’s not like Mullie. He’s got a missus and a teenage son who’s causin’ him all sorts of hell.”
“Teenage blues?”
Sawyer nods. “Yeah. The kid’s bored, and there’s not a whole lot of excitement around these parts. I’ve been sixteen. I get it. I offered to take him out on the boat.”
“That’s nice of you.”
“Nice!” His lips curve in a wry smile. “A bit of hard work for a few weeks will do that kid the world of good. He won’t whinge about keepin’ his ass in school after he’s spent his Easter break catchin’ lobsters from sunup.”
I smile, settling into our spot with my elbows propped on the table.
I’ll never tire of the views here. The sun drifts toward the horizon, painting the ocean in shades of sapphire and amethyst beneath the darkening sky.
Glasses clink, and laughter carries through the bar around us.
We’re surrounded by people, but it feels like we’ve carved out a little sanctuary of our own.
I understand what Sawyer meant earlier. There’s noise behind us. Social, but safe.
“You can do some incredible people-watching from the table you’ve picked,” I say. “You can see all the way down the beach.”
He shifts slightly on the stool. “It’s a nice view of the ocean.”
“I walk along here most afternoons. You might’ve seen me!”
“Ah, yeah…” He clears his throat into his fist. “I might’ve.”
Something about the way he says it makes my stomach do a small, uncertain flip. I like the idea of my hot friend watching me. Maybe…even…noticing me.
I slide a look sideways. His attention is fixed on my legs. My skirt has ridden up just enough to bare my knees and a hint of pale thigh. Thank God I shaved my legs. Or did I miss a spot? At least there’s no hole in my clothes for him to notice this time.
The moment our eyes meet, color rushes into his cheeks. He pushes off the stool and clears his throat. “What can I get you?”
“Oh, um…” I fumble in my bag for my purse. “Maybe a glass of white wine?” I hold out some money, but he gently presses his palm over my hand.
“Put your money away, Elsie Hoskins. I’ll get this round.”
“Only if I can pay for the next one.”
He gives me a look as if he might gear up to argue the point, then lets it go.
We linger over our drinks after that, the conversation wandering from one topic to the next.
It’s easy. Comfortable, even. Which is probably why the nagging feeling catches my attention.
I sneak another glance at Sawyer. He’s acting a little strange.
Quieter. He’s always a bit gruff, but usually I’m the awkward one who’s not sure what to say.
Tonight, he seems to hold back. Sometimes his hand lifts off his knee, and I swear he’s going to touch me—on my leg, my shoulder—but the touch never arrives. His hand balls into a fist until it relaxes, and the conversation continues.
Embarrassment knots my stomach. Am I just imagining a change in Sawyer? Wishful thinking and loneliness mess with my judgment. He’s not interested in me like that. He’s nice, that’s all. I need to stop confusing kindness with…interest.
“What was Kristen botherin’ you about?” Sawyer asks.
“She likes to impart her helpful advice.” I roll my eyes. “Her charity knows no bounds.”
“What advice could she possibly be givin’ you?”
“About how to act less poor. Wearing nicer clothes.” Sleeping with fewer men, I almost add, but the words stay safely trapped in my mouth.
“You wear plenty of nice clothes.”
I smile. “Thanks.” I swirl my glass, watching the pale gold catch the light. “I know my style isn’t for everyone, but I’m comfortable, and I think it suits me. She doesn’t approve.” I glance at him. “She seems to respect you, though.”
Sawyer lifts a shoulder. “We used to talk a bit more than we do now. I think she sees a bit of herself in me. We come from pretty similar backgrounds, I s’pose, except she chose to keep chasin’ the money and I chose to protect my peace.
” He shakes his head. “But I haven’t seen a woman behavin’ like her since my sister went to high school.
She shouldn’t be talkin’ about you—or to you—like she does. ”
“It’s okay.”
“Is it? I have a feelin’ you’re only sayin’ that because you’re scared of rockin’ the boat.”
“Well…” I smooth my skirt over my knees and pretend he doesn’t read me like a book.
“Yeah. I thought so. She’s never goin’ to respect you if you keep lettin’ her say that shit.”
“I have a feeling she’s never going to like me, full stop.”
“Then what have you got to lose by standin’ up for yourself?”
I look down at my glass, watching the wine settle after the slight jiggle of my hand. He’s right. I know he’s right. I’m just…not that woman.
“I don’t know how,” I admit in a whisper. “It bothers you that I’m stuck like this?”
“I worry about you for the same reason I force myself to come down here, even though I’d be happy to sit in my own lounge listenin’ to my own music.
I’m comfortable on my own. I can do it. But life is better with people to share it with.
Even if it’s just…” He gestures to the wide-open beach in front of us.
“I agree.”
“Do you?”
“Yes. I’m not on my own by choice. I’m just…
awkward. I’m not good at making friends, but I wish I were.
I love hanging out with everyone at the center.
I’m not sure what I’ll do with myself once the festival is over.
” I certainly won’t be distracting myself in Luke’s bed like I did when I first arrived.
“You’re always busy in your corner. I saw you takin’ notes last night.”
“Oh, it’s been so fun! I’ve finished pricing all the crockery and dining ware and moved on to the boxes of jewelry Cain sorted for me. Although…”
“Although…” He butts his shoulder against mine.
“I really wish I could talk to a jeweler…have someone appraise some things properly. Porcelain, I’m fine with, but there are a few pieces of jewelry I’m not sure about.
” I drop my chin onto my fist. “I rang around some places in the city, but everyone needs to see them to give me an accurate price. So, I’m scheming a way to get into the city this weekend. ”
“What are you schemin’ for? I’ll take you.”
“I can’t ask you to do that.”
“You’re not. I’m offerin’.”
“Seriously?”
He nods. “We can head off early Saturday if you have nothin’ planned?”
“Well, there’s a benefit function for blind cats and the movie award gala I’m attending…”
He chuckles.
“After those jaunts, I’m all free,” I say.
“Stop by at eight. We’ll make a day of it.”
“Thank you!” I squeeze my arm around his shoulder but stop short of kissing his cheek. “Thank you so much!”
He watches my arm disappear back to my side with the strangest look clouding his eyes. “You’re welcome,” he murmurs, almost as if he’s sad the moment’s over.