Chapter 20
A thunderstorm moving in unexpectedly
I can do this.
The stage sways beneath my feet when I peek around Luke and squint out into the packed dining room. Conversations have dwindled to a murmur, and crystal glasses and silverware sit untouched on the tables. I swallow hard. Two hundred pairs of eyes stare back at me.
“Good evening, everyone.” Luke’s voice is a warm welcome in the room. “Thank you for indulging my fragile ego and clapping for my arrival. I’ll hold fast to that memory when I’m home in dreary England next Christmas and my family groans as I enter the room.”
The crowd adores his self-deprecating humor, and they can see, can’t they? I stake no claim on him, but Luke is undeniably gorgeous in a tuxedo. He touches my shoulder to urge me out of his shadow.
“Allow me to introduce you to your other host this evening,” he says. “Elsie Hoskins. Some of you from the mainland may know her.”
Bless him. I’m sure absolutely no one in this room knows me.
“Our resident historian is a former Rhodes Scholar—”
Smile.
The muscles in my face freeze.
I can’t.
I knot my dress around the fingers that refuse to stay still by my side. The crowd is paying too much attention to me. Do I know a single soul in this room? My eyes drift from table to table until I notice a familiar face hovering in the back.
Sawyer cocks his chin. I can imagine his deep voice beside my ear. “You need to be brave, Elsie Hoskins.”
A smile bursts across my face. He nods his approval, and that subtle praise is electric all the way to my toes. That gorgeous man has just given me one of the best orgasms of my life. I look pretty. I’ve studied my notes from front to back for days on end.
Maybe I can do this.
I wait beside Luke, nodding along as he explains the auction process and checks that everyone knows how to use their paddles, but I’m distracted by the swish of white satin on the other side of the room.
Kristen huddles beside Mallory Something-or-Other. Do they know each other? They are deep in conversation until Kristen’s head snaps around and her eyes narrow on me. She shoots forward. Mallory claws at her—she’s trying to stop her—but Kristen dodges her hand and charges for the stage.
Oh, God… She’s coming for me…
Kristen’s shoulder hits me, knocking me sideways as she barges past, and she snatches the microphone from Luke.
“Kris,” he snaps, “what in the bloody hell—”
“Good evening!” she cries to the crowd.
The reply is a confused murmur rippling through the restaurant.
“Wasn’t that a wonderful introduction from our very own chef Luke Gallo?
” Kristen continues. “Who would’ve guessed all those fun facts about Elsie!
Our local medical receptionist is a Rhodes Scholar!
She’s braved the desert heat to visit the ancient city of Petra!
Isn’t she ever so kind to humble us all with her presence? ”
My eyes whip everywhere, my pulse racing faster than the whispers spreading from table to table.
“Kris.” Luke stands with his hands on his hips, frowning, probably mulling over when he should snatch the microphone back. “What the bloody hell are you playing at?”
“You’ll see,” she hisses.
Mallory wilts against the wall on the other side of the restaurant. What the hell has she told Kristen?
Kristen takes a grand step to the edge of the makeshift stage. “Unfortunately, Chef Gallo left out the best part! Our Elsie here is none other than Elspeth Whitehall.”
Every beat of my heart is thunder inside my chest. The restaurant spins. Am I going to faint? Frantic, I search for Sawyer. He ignores Kristen’s antics on the stage. A concerned frown has sharpened his features, and his eyes fix on me.
“That’s right!” Kristen continues. “She’s married to the one and only tech wonder Ethan Whitehall.
Sorry. My bad. She used to be married to him.
” Kristen cackles a laugh. “I’m sure we’ve all seen the stories about him enjoying the millions he made listing on the stock exchange and spending it on a never-ending roster of models.
” She directs her sickly-sweet smile to me.
“Tell us, Elsie, was he sleeping around before or after your divorce?”
A crushing, inescapable weight pins me to the stage. This is truly one of the most humiliating moments of my life. The tears—it’s always the stupid tears—pool in my eyes.
Kristen is heartless. She’s cruel. More than anything, I wish I were brave enough to march across the stage and tear her apart with clever words, but I’m desperately clawing at every last bit of strength inside me not to collapse in front of the sea of unknown faces staring back at me.
“Els…”
I shrug off Luke’s hand and step forward, frantically searching for my anchor in the back of the room. If I can just get to Sawyer…
But he isn’t there.
Luke has had enough. He wrenches the microphone out of Kristen’s tentacles. “Give me that bloody thing—”
I don’t hear the rest.
I escape.
Mallory’s hand reaches for me as I stumble past. “Elsie, I’m so sorry. Are you okay—”
But I dodge it. She’s not my friend. If I have any friends in this town, they aren’t in this room.
I push open the restaurant door and blindly fumble along the wall until I find a spot where no one can see me. Salt air burns my lungs, but no matter how many gulps of air I suck down, I can’t breathe.
Kristen broadcasted my secrets for everyone to laugh at without my say-so. This was supposed to be the one place where Ethan’s name means nothing, and I can just be me. Now I have to face the fallout. How long will it take for the gossip to spread through the rest of the town?
Slow steps carry through the silence of the parking lot. Sawyer’s head hangs low, and when he stops a few feet away, his eyes lift, haunted.
“Elspeth, huh?” The smile that twitches on his lips is a sad one.
“Absolutely no one calls me that except my parents.” And they only call me that when they’re disappointed in me…which is a lot lately…
“But Whitehall… People used to call you that?”
“For a few years.”
He nods. “I waited around. I wanted to see you up there. Make sure you have someone in your corner if you get nervous.”
“You’re a good man.”
Another nod. “Was your husband? Probably not with the stories about the models…and the money…and all that… Were you goin’ to tell me the full story?”
“Yes.”
“When?”
I drop my eyes to my wringing hands. I don’t know. Never? We’re close, but…are we? We’ve known each other for a few months. We kissed. I guess we have to be close if his face was between my legs not even an hour ago.
“Does Luke know?” he asks.
“He does now.”
Sawyer holds my gaze. Does that answer make it better between us…or worse?
“And the two of you were…together?”
“Sort of.”
“Fuck, Elsie. Come on. Tell me straight. You slept with Luke?”
“Yes.”
“Are you still?”
“No! Of course I’m not. Sawyer, there’s nothing going on between Luke and me anymore. We’re not even friends. There has been no one else in my life like that since that day at the wharf. I only want you.”
His reaction isn’t what I hope for. He acknowledges my words with another dip of his chin. “I’m goin’ to head off.”
“You don’t want to talk?”
“Not right now.”
Wait. Is this… Are we breaking up? Can we break up if we’re not even together? This is him telling me it’s over, isn’t it?
“But…” I force myself to smile. “Before… In the office.”
He shakes his head. “A mistake.”
My heart wrenches in my chest. Two words rendered one of the most exciting moments of my life obsolete. A mistake. “So, now you know I was married, you don’t want me anymore?”
“I don’t care that you were married.”
“But then why—”
“You lied to me, Elsie! I asked you over and over. I knew you were hidin’ somethin’ from me because you just didn’t want to admit I wasn’t good enough for you!”
“That’s not… Sawyer… I was scared of what you’d think of me.” The ache in my chest is self-pitying, and weeks—maybe years—of bottled-up emotions twist painfully around my lungs. “God, I don’t even know what I think of me.”
Sawyer’s face crumples when tears start dribbling down my cheeks. He looks so conflicted. I can see it. The heat of his anger. The swirl of compassion that lifts his hand as if he’ll grab me and pull me close until it drops back by his side.
I swipe the tears away with a rough hand. “I’m sorry. Ignore the stupid tears. I just get worked up sometimes—”
“Fuck, Elsie.” He drags a hand through his hair.
“I can’t do this. I’m angry. I’m… fuck. I’m hurt.
I’ll say somethin’ I regret, and as much as I want to have this out, I can’t do that right now without…
” He shakes his head as if he’s trying to rattle the thoughts out.
“I’m not man enough to put my own pain aside right now to hear you out.
You hid this from me. And it really fuckin’ hurt me to hear the truth from someone else. ”
He turns his back to me, headed for the road.
I don’t chase after him. My legs feel boneless. I’ll trip over my own feet and end up sprawled on my backside in the parking lot, even more humiliated…if that’s possible.
Instead, I huddle against the wall, blubbering my eyes out.
I’m not too proud to stand with the ocean breeze whipping the carefully curled tendrils across my face with tears streaming down my cheeks.
I created this mess. Sawyer is gone. From the auction.
Maybe from my life. We were close to something special, and I ruined it.
I deserve to rot in this feeling.
“Els?”
A shadow falls across me from behind.
“Luke.” I let out a slow breath and swipe at my face. “Hey.”
“Don’t let her win.”
“Wha-what?”
“People like Kristen drag you down into the muck with them when they think they’re losing. You showed her up.”
“How could I possibly have shown her up? Her face is on every For Sale sign in this town.”
“By existing.”
“Ha ha. Sure.”
“Els, I’m serious. You’re pretty special. The only person who doesn’t see it is you.”
“I ruined everything.”
“You didn’t. I made a few light jokes to keep people talking, and Kristen’s been removed. I had some of the boys out back haul her out of there. See?”
He points through the mottled lights to the two men standing with their arms folded, watching as Kristen fumbles to unlock her convertible with a shaking hand.
“Excitement’s high,” Luke says. “People are more interested in you than ever. We can still do this. You and me. Just like we practiced.”
I cast a long look over my shoulder in the direction of the man who’s already long gone.
“She’ll only win if you let her,” Luke says.
I sigh. “What else have I got to lose?” The truth is out now. I’ve lost Sawyer. There’s nothing else.
“Got your palm cards?” Luke asks.
I lift my clutch.
“Good. Stop by the ladies’ room. Fix up your makeup, and we can finish this. Together. Okay?”
Luke holds the door open for me, but I glance back one more time before I go inside. Sawyer is long gone.
That’s the part Luke will never understand.
Kristen’s objective wasn’t me. It was Sawyer all along. I was the sacrifice. He was her prize. And because I didn’t trust him with the truth about who I was, he’ll never forgive me. We were over before we even started.
Kristen has already won.