Chapter 29
TWENTY-NINE
WINNIE
Dawn Is Quietest
West is warm when I leave his embrace. His face is less harsh in the soft light. Fewer deep lines around his mouth, smoother fine lines near his eyes. My fingers flutter at my sides in need to stroke his skin, but waking him isn’t my goal.
He’s finally asleep, and it would be cruel to wake him.
Almost as cruel as leaving without saying goodbye.
Instead, I dress, steal one of his hoodies from his suitcase, and duck out of his bedroom to collect my boots and phone.
And at his doorway, I blow him a kiss.
I’ll apologize the next time I see him. Maybe send a sappy message or five.
My shift doesn’t start for a few more hours, but he’ll know that too. I need to relieve Lanie of her babysitting duties, get Sally off to school. And then answer all the questions they’ll both ask.
If I leave now, I can stagger those answers I don’t want to give.
If I leave now, I can delay telling West what I’ve figured out overnight.
That I want him to stay with Sally and me. That I want him around for longer than just a fling for a few months while we both negotiate what our future together might look like.
Maybe if I hold off for a few more hours, I’ll find my courage and fess up. Or maybe not.
How much can I fit into a text message?
I leave my phone off as I walk out his door barefoot, my boots in my hand.
And let it close as silently behind me as the night we spent together, where the only word he spoke for hours was my name.
Like he worships me the way I do him.