Chapter 9
CHAPTER NINE
ROCHELLE
Itoss and turn all night, angry over Drifter’s reaction. Yes, I know I was foolish, and as soon as I saw that familiar patch of the Steel Delinquents, I realised I’d fucked up. We should never have left last night.
But who the fuck does he think he is, treating me like that? I’m not just anyone . . . I’m his ol’ lady. The way he disregarded me last night was no better than how he treats the club bunnies.
I push the duvet off me, sighing heavily. I may as well start the day if I can’t sleep. I look at my phone, secretly hoping he had messaged me back last night, but my stomach twists when I see he’s left me unopened.
I head downstairs and make my way into the kitchen, the smell of a fresh batch of coffee too tempting to ignore.
Drifter’s sitting at the table with a coffee in one hand and his phone in the other, his eyes fixed to it. He clearly got my message and chose to ignore it.
He doesn’t even look up as I pass, though I know he senses me. He always does.
As I make my way over to the coffee machine, I peer over his shoulder to see what’s so important he can’t even acknowledge me. There, in all its bright colours, is a picture of me and the girls in the nightclub.
I frown. How? Who took that?
I remain behind him, my mind racing. He tucks the phone away in his pocket then pushes his chair back. I take a step back, waiting for him to stand and say something. He gives me a side glance but stays quiet.
I narrow my eyes, then ask, “How the fuck do you have that?”
He makes his way to the door, not bothering to answer.
I hate silence more than anything, so I follow, shoving the door hard. “I asked you a fucking question,” I shout after him. “Drifter!”
He slows to a stop then turns to face me. His eyes are burning with anger, his jaw clenched tight. “What, Hell? You’re suddenly interested in discussing your fucking safety?”
At least I have his attention now. “You didn’t even let me explain,” I argue.
He closes the distance between us, his eyes glazed like it’s taking everything to keep his control.
“What is there to explain?” he demands. “You left this club without protection, walked right into a Steel Delinquent, and then you think you can come home and apologise and it’ll all be fine.
” He takes a breath, running a hand through his hair.
“We aren’t teenagers anymore, Hell. I have a club to run.
How the fuck can I keep my ol’ lady safe if she can’t even stick to one simple rule? ”
“I just wanted some normal,” I argue.
“At the risk to you and your friends? Well, I hope it was worth it because you ain’t leaving here again. You’re on their fucking radar now.”
I swallow, knowing how irresponsible I’ve been, but I refuse to back down when he’s treating me like a rebellious child. “Whatever, Drifter. You and your precious club always come first, right? Well, fuck you,” I spit angrily.
“This club is our life, Hell. Me and you. What would I do if those fuckers got their hands on you? You are my everything.”
“Keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better.”
I’m being unreasonable, I know I am, and if my dad was still here, he would have physically locked me in the basement. But I don’t back down. My pride won’t let me. So, I turn to walk away. This constant fighting is draining me, and I need coffee.
“Hell,” his voice is softer now, like the fights left him too. “I need to tell you something.”
I put my hand up to stop him. “I’m not interested.” And I slam the kitchen door.
“Fucking dick,” I mutter under my breath.
It’s been ten days of Drifter sleeping in his office. We haven’t spoken since that morning after I snuck out.
We’re both stubborn, and I refuse to be treated like a child, just like he refuses to back down.
I look out over the courtyard, my feet tucked under my body as I hug a mug of coffee. The sun is beginning to set when Mumma Bear sits down beside me.
“A penny for your thoughts,” she whispers, and it reminds me of something my mum would have said.
I smile fondly and rest my head against her shoulder.
“When did it all get so complicated?” She kisses the top of my head and a sigh escapes her.
“It was never supposed to be easy, my darlin’,” she replies, wrapping her arm around my shoulder.
“You just have to make the best of the life you’re given. You only have one shot at it.”
I nod and watch as the sun dips below the wall. “I messed up,” I admit, sighing heavily.
“I know you did, hunny.”
I laugh. “Thanks.”
“If your mum was still with us, what would she be saying right now?” I roll my eyes, knowing she can’t see me. “I heard that,” she adds, and I laugh again, lifting myself to sit back up.
She pulls her arm from around me, grabs the fleece blanket off the back of the chair, and throws it over us both.
“She would be on my case,” I reply, placing my cold coffee on the table in front of us. “She would be on Drifter’s side, giving me a hard time.”
Mumma Bear nods. “And . . .”
“She’d tell me to get a fucking grip.” I laugh, recalling how my mum didn’t take any shit from me. She might have let my dad walk all over her, but with me, she wanted to make sure history didn’t repeat itself.
“So, what are you playing at?” she asks, arching a brow.
I pause, thinking over my words before eventually saying, “Mum also let my dad treat her like shit, and that isn’t me. I won’t have someone telling me what I can and can’t do, and Drifter should know that. He’s known me long enough.”
“Even if it’s for your own safety?” she questions gently.
I look down, picking at some imaginary fluff on the blanket. She knows me too well.
“I know I messed up, but he also didn’t handle the situation very well. I mean, he didn’t even come pick me up. He sent Gears. Who does that? I thought these bikers were supposed to put their ol’ ladies before everything else.”
“You’re overthinking it. And how long can you go on like this?”
I shrug miserably.
The low rumble of motorcycles brings our attention to the main gates as they open slowly.
The men pull into the courtyard, Drifter stopping in front of me and climbing off.
I can’t help staring, admiring how his leathers cling to him.
I mentally scold myself—I’m supposed to be angry, not ogling him.
He looks up, and when he smiles, my heart lifts. I smile back before realising it wasn’t meant for me at all.
“Evening Mumma Bear,” he greets, ignoring me completely.
My heart sinks. I push to my feet, throwing the fleece behind me on the seat and storming back inside.
I pinch the skin on my stomach and press the needle in. I don’t even flinch anymore, I’ve grown so used to it. It’s strange how quickly something like this becomes routine. I pull my shirt back down and clear away the discarded wipes.
It’s been a long week. Drifter and I still aren’t really speaking, unless grunting at each other counts as conversation.
I drop the needle into the sharps box and look at myself in the mirror. Dark circles shadow my eyes, and I feel my spark fading. My love life is hanging by a thread, yet the need for a baby still weighs heavily on me, like it’s the one thing that might make everything else right.
I turn on the tap and lean over the sink, splashing cool water onto my face. This has to change. I need to talk to Drifter. We can’t carry on like this much longer.
A knock sounds at the door, and Red pokes her head through the frame.
“You done?” she asks.
I roll my eyes. “You couldn’t even give me ten minutes to sort myself out?”
“Nope,” she says, popping the P and pushing her way into the en suite. She drops the toilet lid and lowers herself onto it.
I smirk at her reflection. “Do you mind?”
She waves her hand. “Nah, carry on.” She pulls her phone from her pocket and begins typing something.
My brows furrow. “Red?”
Her head snaps up. “Yeah?”
I laugh, shaking my head. “You’re really going to sit here whilst I finish getting ready?”
“Yeah, why not? Bella is on her way up too.”
I laugh and open the cupboard pulling out my makeup bag. “Couldn’t you guys just wait downstairs?”
She throws her head back dramatically, resting it against the tiles. “I’m avoiding Rock.”
I smirk. “That bad?”
“He’s still pissed that we went out. I’ve tried everything, but it just ends up in arguments.”
“I hear you,” I say, applying my eyeliner. “Drifter hasn’t even spoken to me.” I pull my head back from the mirror and blink before going back to apply more. “Maybe we did fuck up.”
“Ugh, don’t you start.”
I laugh out loud and shake my head.
“Ladies?” Bella shouts from the bedroom.
“In here.”
She walks into the small space, making it feel even more confined.
“Where’s Meli?” she asks.
“Rock’s making her breakfast. We’ve got to take her to a nursery later today,” Red says, groaning.
“It’ll be good for her,” I say, applying my lip gloss.
“Yeah, I know. I just love spending our days together. I’ll miss her.”
“But think of all the things you’ll be able to do for yourself when she starts,” Bella says.
“Like what?” She rolls her eyes. “We can’t even leave the compound.”
“I did warn you both that it wasn’t a good idea.”
We both turn to look at her. “Really, Bella?”
“Well, it wasn’t, was it? Now we can’t even leave with protection. And you’re both still moping around because your men are giving you grief.”
I laugh. “We don’t need your ‘I told you so’ bullshit.”
“But I did—” We cut her off with a groan before she can finish.
“Come on, let’s go sit outside. There isn’t enough space to move with us all in here,” I suggest as I put my makeup bag back in the cupboard.
DRIFTER
There’s so much tension flying around at the moment, not only with our ol’ ladies but also the constant threat from the Steel Delinquents.
So, we settled on an afternoon escape to the strip club. Money’s been going missing from the takings so hanging around and keeping watch on how things are running is the perfect way to kill two birds with one stone.