26. Kieran
Chapter 26
Kieran
It happened over spaghetti and meatballs. Truthfully, it happened long before I walked into Mom’s kitchen and found the two of them talking and laughing. Clay wore an apron that was splattered with spaghetti sauce. Mom’s hair was tucked up into a bun, but stray strands had fallen loose.
“Kieran, come collect your boyfriend. He’s impossible,” Mom said to me.
“I— we—” Clay stiffened and sputtered.
I crossed the room and grabbed Clay by his apron strings and tugged him close to me. Brushing a kiss against his cheek, I smiled at the way he looked absolutely gobsmacked. “Hi, boyfriend.”
“You’re here just in time,” Mom said. “When Clayton told me he wasn’t good in the kitchen, I didn’t believe him.”
“I warned you.” Clay reached around and tugged the apron loose.
“Do me a favor, love, and stick to your art. People who like food will thank you.”
“What did you do?” I asked him. Now that Mom knew about us, I didn’t hesitate to stop pretending that I didn’t want Clay in my embrace at all times. I held him from behind, my arms wrapping around his waist.
“I did everything she told me to do, I promise. ”
“It’s true.” Mom sighed. “But I didn’t think I had to explain that we were making meatballs, not softballs made of hamburger.”
I tried to bite back my laugh, but it escaped. And because I wasn’t twelve, I resisted making the obvious joke about my boyfriend liking big balls.
“So they were a little big.”
“You made baseballs; they should’ve been golf balls at best. Anyway, Michael is expecting Clay to be here for dinner, but after that, you’re free to spirit him away if you want to.”
“Michael?” Who the fuck was Michael? The question must have been in my tone of voice because Clay twisted in my arms until he faced me. His smile was impish and amused when he rose and dropped a kiss against my lips.
“Michael is the son of a new guest of your mother’s.”
Foolish. Jealous. Ridiculous. I was all three, but my pride had been saved for the most part because I’d learned long ago when to hold my tongue.
“I think he’s hoping for another art lesson, but I believe he’s had enough excitement for one day. He’ll probably crash after dinner.”
“Art lesson?” I looked at Clay. Hope simmered in my chest and he cracked the smallest of smiles. It was soft and shy, but it made him look lighter and happier.
“Let’s talk about this outside,” Clay said, leading me toward the back door.
I followed him outside. The afternoon was beautiful and warm and I wrapped my arms around Clay again, taking a moment to steal a kiss, which might have been why he’d wanted to come outside all along.
“So… art lessons?” I said .
“He had this pencil that didn’t even have an eraser and a ratty old backpack that was falling apart at the seams. He had a sketchbook, but… I had extra. I went and dug out some of my things to give him.”
Clay didn’t have much of anything, which I knew from listening to Shane rant about it after he and Archer packed up his apartment. Because Shane was a sucker for Archer, he’d been willing to help Clay. And even though Archer’s attitude toward Clay had softened in recent weeks, Shane held a grudge like a bone in a bear trap.
Clay relayed his interaction with Michael to me and did so without thinking it was a big deal. Or maybe he didn’t know it was. Or maybe he treated Michael as he’d been treated years ago when he found the community center.
“You’re pretty amazing,” I told him.
He glanced away, trying to shield his embarrassment. He had nothing, but still he found something to give to make someone else’s life better. He’d never believe me if I told him a thousand times how wonderful that made him, but I thought maybe I could kiss the knowledge into him.
Cupping his face, I tilted his head, angling for the kiss. His mouth was soft and he parted his lips, kissing me back, letting me inside to explore his mouth as though I hadn’t done it before.
His arms circled around me, and without the cast he was able to grip onto me with both hands. I desperately wanted to be alone with him. I wanted to kiss every inch of him. To strip him bare and explore him. Take my time driving him wild.
“How soon is dinner?” I asked, kissing his neck.
Clay ran his hands down my back and over my ass. He squeezed both cheeks and moaned against me. “Not soon enough, apparently.”
Before I could respond, Clay was kissing me. Grinding against me, he let out the most needy little sound. It went straight to my dick and if we didn’t stop kissing soon, I’d have to walk back into the kitchen with a huge, embarrassing erection.
“Clay,” I breathed against his mouth, breaking the kiss. Needing air, but still needing him like he was air. “Come home with me tonight.” I’d beg him if I had to.
He looked like he was going to say yes, then suddenly he jerked and yanked himself out of my arms like I was on fire. My confusion only lasted a split second, and then I saw Shane’s thunderous face. Archer stood behind him looking equally shocked, but not quite as murderous as his boyfriend.
“It’s not what it looks like,” Clay said.
The fear in his voice made my hackles rise and I reached for him, pulling him against me.
“It’s exactly what it looks like,” I countered, staring at Shane, daring him to be stupid.
“It looks like Clayton is running a new con and you’re his new mark.” Shane sneered.
Archer didn’t say a word, but he wrapped his hands around Shane’s arm and tugged, pulling him away like he was scared Shane might take a swing at me or Clay.
“Then Clay was right. It’s not what it looks like.”
Clay tried to pull away from me, but I wasn’t about to let him. I’d half expected Shane to have his head up his ass about this, but I’d hoped to have more time to soften him up to the idea.
“This man stole from Archer. Did you forget that?”
I rolled my eyes. “Yes, I totally forgot that Clay got himself into several deep holes. I also forgot that until recently he was in a cast because he had the living daylights beat out of him.” I took a step forward, angling myself to stay between Shane and Clay. It never would have crossed my mind that Shane might throw a punch, but my gut screamed at me to protect Clay.
“What are you doing?” Shane asked, eyeing the way I was putting myself between them like a wall. Not since we were unruly kids had I entertained the thought of kicking Shane’s ass, but the possibility crossed my mind now.
“What does it look like I’m doing?”
“Are you two involved?” Shane looked at him, then back at me. “Please say no.”
“Why? Would it be so fucking awful if we were?”
“Yes!” Shane shouted. “He was supposed to leave now. He’s safe from the shit he got in. He got therapy and a free ride for a few months. I thought he’d have a plan by now to get out of Archer’s life because it’s the least he could fucking do. Instead he’s grinding on my brother in our mom’s back yard. Does Mom know about this?”
Shane’s voice had gotten increasingly louder and I didn’t miss the way Clay shrank against me.
“Yes, she does.” Mom’s voice had everyone freezing in place like we’d been caught misbehaving, which wasn’t far off the truth. “And she doesn’t appreciate the ruckus out here, not with two new guests inside who are sleeping, who don’t need to wake up to this bullshit. Your brother is old enough to make his own decisions.”
“We should go,” Archer told Shane. He made eye contact with me, then glanced at Clay. “We’re sorry about the noise, Patricia. We’re going to go, right, Shane?”
Archer tugged on Shane again, but my brother stared me down like he thought he could win.
“You should go,” I told him before turning away and leading Clay back toward the house.
“This isn’t over,” Shane growled .
“Let’s just leave.” I heard Archer say as I stepped into the house behind Clay. Instead of sitting down in the kitchen, he made a beeline through the house and I followed him into his bedroom.
I quietly shut the door behind us. Clay stood in the middle of the room, unmoving.
“I don’t care what Shane thinks,” I told him.
“He’s your brother. I don’t want to get between you.”
I reached for Clay, but he pulled away from me. He wrapped his arms around himself and folded like origami. He was a tortured swan, unaware of its own artistry. Its beauty. Its worth.
Unwilling to relent, I tried again. This time he let me touch him. Allowed me to put my hands on his biceps and draw him in against me. I wanted to keep him against me, sheltered and safe. Protected from everyone who might hurt him.
“I don’t belong here.”
Clay was a ball of tension and I hated that Shane had reacted the way he had. With any luck, Archer would be able to reason with my brother. If he was willing. I was starting to get the impression that Archer didn’t quite hold the same grudge against Clay that Shane did.
“I’m sorry about Shane.” I pressed a kiss against the curve of his neck. I wasn’t sorry that Shane knew about us, only the way he found out.
“He’s protective. It’s fine.”
“Treating people I care about like shit is not fine,” I practically snarled. “You say you don’t want to get between Shane and me. Well, I don’t want him to get between us. He has no say in my life. In what I do, where I go, who I kiss. Who I love.”
Clay made a choking sound and he spun around to face me, eyes wide and wet. He blinked the moisture away before it could trickle down his cheeks .
“You can’t love me.” Clay sounded terrified, which wasn’t the reaction I’d hoped for.
“I’m pretty sure you don’t get a say in that any more than Shane does. Hell, even I didn’t get a say.”
Clay didn’t try to shrink away when I reached for him. I cradled his face in my hands so he couldn’t look away. “I never expected to like you, but I did. And then it was impossible for me to not fall in love with you.”
Clay sniffled. “But I’m a fucking mess.”
“Who isn’t?”
He scoffed. “Literally everyone around me.”
I tugged Clay over to the bed and sat down. He took the space next to me and I threw my arm around his shoulders. “My mom runs a shelter to help women leave abusive situations. We grew up learning that not having money caused problems, so now that Shane has it, he thinks it solves everything because when he first won the lottery, it did solve a lot of our problems. Shane has a big heart, like our Mom. He likes helping people, but sometimes he’s messy too. Even the best people can be a disaster from time to time.”
Clay sighed. “What are we doing, Kieran?”
“Whatever we want.” I noticed a suitcase sticking out of Clay’s closet and inspiration struck. “I just had a brilliant idea.”