Chapter Twenty-Three
Owen
“Do you think he’ll be okay?”
“We should probably give him some space.”
“Did he hit his head?”
“Fuck, I hope not.”
Six of us stared down at Milo, who was currently lying on the floor of Lick It!. I didn’t think any of us had been expecting him to pass out the moment Austin Carter extended a hand and introduced himself.
Then again, none of us had ever expected someone like Austin—a literal sex god—to stroll through the door of our ice cream shop on a rainy September morning.
I was trying not to keep staring at him. And hoping my breathing was vaguely normal. I’d caught a whiff of his cologne when he’d shaken my hand and smiled, and he smelled amazing. Almost as good as Darcy.
My poor angel looked like he was two seconds away from panicking when Milo opened his eyes and said, loudly, “I’m not dead!”
“Oh thank God,” Darcy said, putting his hand on his chest as relief flooded his expression. “Does anything hurt?”
“No, I’m fine,” Milo said. He tried to sit up but Theo, who was wearing a blue gingham pinafore dress, rather like Dorothy, dropped down beside him and put his hand on his shoulder.
“No, you have to sit there a minute. If you get up too quickly, you might pass out again. You should have some water. Have you eaten anything today?”
“Er, I had coffee?” Milo said, vaguely sheepishly, as Alfie hurried off to get him a glass of water.
Despite the fainting, Milo looked quite pleased with all the attention he’d suddenly garnered.
Thank fuck he hadn’t smacked his head on the edge of the counter.
I’d be okay dealing with blood, but I didn’t know if the others would be.
“That is definitely not enough!” Theo tutted scoldingly and shook his head. “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.”
Austin, who was stood behind Theo and watching with amusement, chuckled softly. “Don’t bother arguing with him, you won’t win.”
“I’d never dream of it,” said Milo.
“Here, drink this,” Alfie said, returning with a glass of water, looking relieved.
I leant over to Darcy as Milo took the water and sipped it slowly while chatting animatedly with Theo and Austin. “Do you think he’s enjoying the attention?”
Darcy chuckled. “That definitely wasn’t on my bingo card for today. Maybe I should send him home, especially if he’s not well.”
“I doubt he’d go.”
“True. But he ought to eat something.”
I glanced at the kitsch vintage-style clock on the wall, which had bright pink and teal numbers around the edge.
It was nearly half-eleven, and, as predicted, it hadn’t been a busy morning, so it would be easy to shut the shop up for a while.
And I was sure Darcy would appreciate the chance to get out of deep cleaning the chiller.
“Why don’t we get Theo and Austin some ice cream, then we can all go round to Novel Tea or something? It won’t matter if we’re closed for a few hours over lunch.”
“That’s not a bad idea,” Darcy said with a hum and a nod. “We can ask Alfie if Jonathan wants to come too. It would be lovely to see him again.”
“Yeah, it would.” I hadn’t really gotten to spend a lot of time with Alfie’s boyfriend, who’d worked at Lick It! for a few weeks before Ellie and I had started. He seemed like a sweet guy though, and Alfie obviously adored the fuck out of him.
“Okay,” Darcy said, cutting through the chatter and drawing everyone’s attention.
“Theo, Austin, you came down for some ice cream so please let me get you some now. Then I was going to suggest we go around to Novel Tea so Milo can have something to eat—and everyone else, obviously. Alfie, I don’t know if Jonathan is free, but it would be lovely to see him.
Theo and Austin, you are welcome to come too, but I absolutely understand you probably don’t want to hang out with a bunch of, mostly, strangers, especially since one of them fainted when you shook his hand. ”
“Hey, that’s not my fault,” Milo said. “Have you seen this man? Sorry, Austin, but you’re fucking gorgeous.”
Austin smirked. “You’re not wrong.”
“What about me?” Theo asked teasingly with a pout.
“You’re gorgeous too! I mean, I properly freaked out the first time you came in,” Milo said.
“He did,” Alfie said wryly.
“Before you get too distracted: ice cream, what would you like?” Darcy asked, before Milo or Theo could derail the conversation again.
A smile played across my lips as I watched him, a tiny bubble of nervousness floating through my chest. There was still one final confession I had to make to Darcy, one last secret I’d kept hidden for too long.
There was no reason for it, only shame and embarrassment.
And the longer I’d gone without telling him, the harder it had become.
I just hoped it didn’t change anything between us.
All I could do was be honest and hope for the best.
Several hours later, after a very extended lunch break at Novel Tea with Austin, Theo, and Jonathan, Darcy and I found our way to the beach.
The rain had finally started to ease but the sky was still dark with heavy clouds, looking like they could open at any moment and drench us from head to foot.
But neither of us had bothered to bring an umbrella because the growing wind would’ve turned it inside out as soon as we’d opened it.
The autumnal weather bothered me more than I wanted to admit, and it was making my skin itch for warmer climates and bluer seas.
Alfie had promised to run the numbers on shutting the shop for the winter by the end of next week, and then Darcy and I would be able to figure out what our plans were. I already had a list of places I wanted to take him. Things I wanted to show him. I simply had to be patient.
And that hadn’t always been my strongest skill.
“Fuck it’s cold,” Darcy said with a breathless laugh as the wind gusted around us, biting at our exposed skin. “I should have brought a hat. I just don’t want to admit summer is over.”
“Don’t worry, it’ll be back next week. You know what the weather’s like here.”
“True. But I saw someone talking about Christmas on Instagram the other day and I’m so not fucking here for that.”
“Maybe your Christmas will be warm this year,” I said, squeezing his hand and pulling him against me, my arms folding around him. My heart was thundering in my chest, my anxiety starting to spike. My mouth felt dry and suddenly I wondered if I’d be able to speak.
“I hope so! I’ve never had Christmas on a beach but it sounds perfect.” Darcy glanced up at me then frowned, tilting his head to the side as he gazed at me. “Is something wrong?”
“I’m divorced.” The words tripped hurriedly off my tongue before I could stop them, falling into the air with a deafening splat.
“What?”
“I’m divorced. I should have told you a long time ago, or even the other day, but honestly, I forgot about it, because it was, like, five years ago and we were married for maybe six weeks before we realised it was never going to work.
And, er, we’d only been dating for maybe three months before we decided to get married.
Kinda speed ran it, you know? Didn’t help we were in Vegas.
It seemed like a bloody good idea at the time.
But in hindsight… let’s just say, neither of us really thought it through.
Think the divorce cost more than the fucking wedding. ”
It was hard to meet Darcy’s eyes. I was so terrified of seeing hurt and pain on his face, of watching our newly established trust shatter irreparably. But I forced myself to look at him, because I had to own up to my secrecy and deal with the consequences instead of running away.
Darcy was smiling, squeezing his lips together like he was trying to hold back a torrent of laughter.
And that threw me off almost as much as anger.
“Oh my God,” he said with a burst of laughter.
His eyes were dancing and the tightness in my chest slowly started to ease.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t laugh. But oh my God!
I can’t believe you did that. You had a Vegas wedding?
After three months? Wait does this mean we need a Vegas wedding too? It’s been about three months, right?”
“Fuck you,” I said with a groan, knowing I was never going to live this down. I’d take that, though, if it meant keeping Darcy in my life. And I didn’t think he was the sort to hold it over me maliciously.
“I mean, you can if you want.” He smirked and brushed his lips across mine. “We could go back to mine right now.”
“In a minute.” I kissed him softly before letting out a slow breath, the weight of the secret finally lifting off my chest. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I didn’t mean to hide it from you.”
“It’s fine. Honestly, I’m not fussed about it. I mean, divorce always sounds like a big thing, but this feels more like a very expensive breakup.”
“That’s pretty much all it was.”
“Do you still speak to him?”
I shook my head. “No. I don’t think I even have him on socials anymore. Maybe on Instagram. But I haven’t seen any posts since he got married last year. I guess he finally unfollowed me? I probably should have done it years ago.”
“Damn, that means I can’t go and be nosy,” Darcy said, still grinning as the wind swept through his hair, ruffling it and dragging the longer strands across his face.
He huffed as it stuck to his mouth, trying to blow it out the way and somehow making it worse.
“Ugh, I really need to cut my hair! It’s getting too long now and it’s pissing me off. ”
“I like it. But it’s your hair, so you do whatever you want with it.”
He ran his hand through it. “Don’t worry, I won’t go too short.
It’s just getting in my face right now and I hate it.
” His lips were cold and soft as he pressed them against mine again.
A little giggle slipped out of him as he pulled away to rest his head against my shoulder.
“I still can’t believe you got married in Vegas.
You. The man who ran away at the idea of staying somewhere. Should I take this personally?”
“Why do you think it ended? Plus, we both had totally different ideas of what we wanted from life and where we wanted to go next.”
“Would you ever want to do it again?” His question was so quiet it was almost lost to the breeze. “Not the Vegas part. But getting married. It’s not a deal breaker: I’ve never really been fussed either way. I’m just… curious I guess.”
“Maybe. With the right person.”
Darcy nodded and went quiet for a minute. The silence was comfortable, broken only by the cawing of wheeling gulls and the crash of waves against the beach. The swell was picking up, white horses foaming as the water raced across the sand. It was almost good surfing weather.
“By the way, my dad wants to know when you might be free for dinner again? As long as I don’t fuck things up again—’cos he’s supportive like that.” He’d been very happy to hear I’d resolved things with Darcy but still wasn’t impressed I’d managed to screw everything up in the first place.
He had held off on telling my brother though, which I appreciated, but I had a suspicion all the gardeners at the castle knew everything. Or at least my dad’s version of it.
I didn’t think I’d come off very well.
Not that I deserved to, but Dad really hadn’t been on my side with this.
“That’d be great. I’d love that,” Darcy said. “Hopefully we get to eat this time.”
“Did you actually eat anything that night?”
“Yeah, Alfie brought lasagne. Jonathan had made a huge one for them to freeze but he sent Alfie down with the rest of it for me and Milo. Well, for me. Milo decided he wanted some too. Can’t blame him, it was delicious.”
“See, now I want lasagne,” I said with a chuckle. We hadn’t long had lunch, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t plan for tonight or the weekend. “Maybe I’ll make one on Sunday.”
“Perfect.” Darcy kissed me, quick and teasing. He sighed and slowly stepped back, offering me his hand. “Come on, we should get back before Milo gets into more trouble.”
“I don’t know what else he could do today. He’s already made peace with Rupert and passed out in front of porn stars.”
“This is Milo, he’ll think of something.”
I took Darcy’s hand, gripping it tightly as we slowly began to meander back towards Lick It!. Now everything was out in the open and we knew where we were going, at least roughly, there was one more thing I wanted to tell Darcy.
But now wasn’t the time or the place.
They were words to be said in private, when I could press them into his skin over and over until he was completely surrounded by them. Then I could fuck him while I whispered them against his lips and pour them into his ears. He would be able to fall apart knowing the truth about how I felt.
How he completely owned my heart.
And that I loved him more than I’d ever have ways to say.
I’d always been one for physical gestures though. If I couldn’t tell him, I’d show him instead.
Every single day. For as long as he’d have me.