9. Coop
COOP
It’s as if I entered Nirvana. This bookstore is one of my favorites as it has a wide variety of categories, and I’ve landed in my favorite place—picking up books about Zen and Buddhism.
So many new ones have come out that it’s hard to decide which to choose.
I left Nese in the fashion section, so I don’t have to worry about her for a while.
After all the damned clothes shopping, this is exactly the fix I need.
I add another book to my pile, then pick up one by my favorite meditation master. Funny, I’ve been doing meditation daily for ages, but it’s more fulfilling lately. Since Nese got to my house. Weird.
Crossing the aisle, the coffee shop catches my attention. I could go for some caffeine. Nese probably could too. Juggling the books, I proceed to the cashier and make my purchases, adding a now-needed bookmark to the pile. Holding the bag, I set out to find the stylist with the big heart.
When did I come to think of her in these terms?
Must be something in the air in this store.
I shrug off the odd sentiment and hit up the fashion section. No Nese. Likewise, gardening, fitness, and travel parts yield no Nese. At my wits end, I try the cooking area and—voilà!—there she is, with a stack of books at her feet.
“Find anything you like?”
She glances up from a recipe for … bread? “Too many things. What’s your opinion on this?” She flips the cookbook to face me.
What? Oh. “Bread is good.”
Her head thrown back, she laughs one of her belly laughs. “Of course bread is good. I was thinking about making this for us.”
“Us?” The word is out of my mouth before I’m able to censor it.
“Meaning you and me. Since I’m staying at your house and everything, I want to make myself useful.” She shakes the book. “Would you enjoy this?”
“Don’t trouble yourself. I have a housekeeper who can buy whatever we need.”
“Ugh.” She rolls her eyes. “Don’t you get enough of store-bought stuff on tour? I’m offering to prepare something fresh for you. You know what? I’m going to bake it. Tough!” She puts the cookbook on top of her own pile.
“I’m sure I’ll like it.” I bend down and pick up her books. “Let me get these for you.”
She stomps her foot. “You don’t have to do that.”
Damn. She’s cute when she gets riled. Whoa. “I’m aware I don’t have to. Let me rephrase: Would you mind if I bought these for you, houseguest of mine?”
“Well, when you put it so politely.” She smiles. “Thank you.”
Together, we return to the cashier and I lift my bag. “I’ll just add these to my purchases.” Transaction completed, I turn to Nese. “How about some coffee? There’s a coffee shop in the back with a really good selection.”
“You’re talking my love language, guitar boy. Lead the way.”
Love language?
She can’t mean anything by that.
I make quick work of walking through the shelves, and Nese follows me to the counter with a variety of pastries and a wall of coffee makers.
After looking at the menu on the chalkboard, she orders a latte with a pastry.
I make it two and, carrying our goodies, we find comfy, upholstered chairs in the corner.
“Have you been here before?” She takes a bite out of her pastry.
“A few times. This is at the top of my list of bookstores in LA.” I sip my latte. “Doesn’t hurt it has this great coffee shop attached to it.”
“I bet.” She swallows. “So you don’t mind shopping. You only hate clothes shopping.”
I raise my right hand. “Guilty.”
“May I see what you bought?” She points to the bag.
My left shoulder lifts then lowers. “Sure.”
I pass it to her. She takes out my books but first holds up the guitar-shaped bookmark. “Seriously? Can’t resist a guitar anything? And it says, ‘I just go where the guitar takes me.’” She shakes her head.
“I had another one, but it was in my luggage.”
“I can only imagine. I bet it had some deep Zen quote.”
“Not exactly, smart ass.” I fiddle with my sunglasses. “It actually was a picture of Darren and me in elementary school, taken by Río.”
Her fingers cover her mouth. “Oh, Coop. I had no idea.
I sigh. “It was the only thing of importance that I lost in the whole debacle.”
After a long moment, Nese focuses her attention on my new books. She examines them one by one, reading the back cover, followed by the inside flap, then flips through each. She lifts the meditation one. “This one’s interesting.”
“I’ve read the author before. He offers great insights and helps me consider things in a different way.” My cell phone beeps. Pulling it out of my pocket, a reminder about next week’s meditation retreat has popped up. “How much longer do you think it’ll take us to wrap up shopping?”
“You still need to fill out all the categories we discussed. Oh, and I forgot you’ll have to pick up some sandals for the beach. At the rate we’re going, I’m hoping to finish up sometime next week.” She lifts another one of my new books.
I nod. “Okay.”
She looks excited about rounding out my wardrobe.
Truth be told, I’m enjoying getting to know her, beneath the surface party-girl layer.
She has eclectic taste, a wicked sense of humor, and I’ve learned is whip-smart.
Somehow, it feels as if I’m only skimming her top layer.
I can attend the meditation retreat the final two weeks.
I drop out of next week’s retreat, and program a reminder into my phone for week three.
She puts her latte down on the table. “Was that an important text?”
“No.” I return my cell to my back pocket. These new jeans do fit me well. “I cancelled next week’s session of the retreat. I still have the last two weeks before UC’s tour resumes.”
“Coop, maybe there’s a way you can do both? Go to the retreat in the morning and then shop in the evening.” She picks at the remaining bits of her pastry.
I smile. “It doesn’t work like that. These retreats take all day, and zap me of the ability to do more than eat and sleep afterwards. I’m good with going for two weeks.” I finish my latte. “Besides, you’ve even helped me with my meditation.”
She raises the cup to her lips, her head tilted. “I have? How on earth have I done that?”
“I’m not sure, to be honest. But ever since you’ve been helping me shop—”
“Helping? More like dragging you from store to store for as long as I can keep your attention! If what I’m doing is called ‘helping,’ I should bottle this up and sell it to women everywhere!” She laughs.
I can’t help but chuckle. “Alright. Maybe helping wasn’t the right word choice. How about, ever since you’ve taken me shopping?”
“Better.”
“Great. Since we’ve been shopping, I’ve found my morning meditation sessions to be more focused. I’m able to clear my mind, without intrusions.”
She flips through my new book on meditation, then closes it. “Intrusions? You mean, like wayward thoughts?”
“That’s a good way of putting them. Lillian usually pops in daily, and she’s mainly disappeared since you arrived.”
“I didn’t know I had so much mojo!” Her pupils expand. “Who’s Lillian?”
Thud.
It’s not as if the woman’s a secret. It’s just I never talk about her. The band lived through our crash-and-burn, so no one revisits this time in my life.
I suck in my breath. “She’s my ex.”
“Oh. So you did have a girlfriend.”
“A wife,” I correct her.
She lowers her latte to the table. “Excuse me? You were married?”
“A long time ago. You probably weren’t even born.”
“Ha ha. Unless you tied the knot when you were ten, I sincerely doubt it.”
I rub my finger around the empty coffee cup. “I was twenty-one when we got married.”
She blinks. “I can’t imagine being a wife now.” She shudders, then leans forward. “You really were married when you were younger than me? How, uhm, reckless of you.”
“That’s a word for it.”
“This was when UC was climbing the charts. The first time, right?”
For some reason, I don’t mind her probing. She’s not malicious, nor is she looking to sell a story. She definitely has a unique take on things. Besides, it’s been nine years since the divorce was finalized.
I share, “Lillian was my high school sweetheart. UC got signed when I was eighteen. I went into song production mode and she enrolled in college for human resources, like her mother. We saw each other as often as possible, but it was tough. I thought if we got married, all my problems would stop.”
“Let me guess,” she rolls up her empty pastry paper plate and puts it into her cup. “It didn’t.”
I raise my own cup. “Ding, ding. Give this woman a medal.”
She swivels her wrists. “And the crowd goes wild!”
I let her have her moment. It’s actually kinda cute. Then I add, “Divorced a year later.”
“Damn. That’s crazy.”
No need to delve into the sordid reason. Río, especially, had my back during that unbelievable year. The whole band did. Even Luke, although he was new as our manager then. Everyone’s kept mum about what went down for years now.
I nod. “Definitely qualifies.”
“Do you have a photo of this Lillian?”
I lean backward. “I guess so. Why do you ask?”
“You said all this happened about a decade ago, right?”
“Yeah.” Where is she going with this?
“Which seems to be about the time you stopped buying clothes. Did she go shopping for you back then?”
My fingers push my sunglasses up my nose, only to realize I took them off when we were eating. “We didn’t have much time to do anything besides, well—”
She supplies, “Have sex?”
My face contorts, but I rearrange it fast. “That.”
“I’ve heard the best way to stop having sex is to get married.” She laughs.
I don’t.
After a moment, she asks, “Did Lillian buy you clothes?”
“Now that you bring it up, yes, she did. She enjoyed shopping, so she took it upon herself to get things for me, including clothes.” I must have bought pieces of clothing since then. Mentally, I sift through my clothes that disappeared with my luggage. My ex did get me most of them. Damn.
“So, you never really were into shopping and gladly handed the chore off to your wife. When she was gone, you didn’t bother to replace the clothes.”
I hold up my hand. “It’s not as bad as you’re making it sound. I didn’t keep her shit for sentimental reasons.”
Nese reaches across the table and places her palm on top of my forearm. “Utilitarian. Makes sense.” She leans back into her overstuffed chair.
I scowl.
“Let me ask you another question. Did Lillian ever take you shopping?”
“Sure. We went to malls for many dates. I used to enjoy watching her try on different outfits.”
She nods. “And did you do the same for her?”
“Not if I could help it.”
She throws her hands in the air. “You always were this way, huh? Well, I’m about to change this mental block for you. By the time I’m done with you, you’re going to like shopping, and Lillian will be banished from your meditation forever.”
I chuckle. Gotta give this girl props. “That’s a tall order. If you can manage both, I’ll buy you a whole new wardrobe.”
She rubs her hands together. “Oh, game on! I’ve already managed to stop her from bothering your meditation sessions, so I’m already halfway there.” She starts singing the Bon Jovi anthem at the top of her lungs, garnering participation from other customers. Despite her being way off-key.
I shake my head. “You’re crazy, has anyone ever told you that?”
She settles back into her chair. “Oh yes. I told them to fuck off.”
My eyebrows raise. “I bet you did.”
“Now, about this Lillian. Why are you giving her so much of your head space? She’s the one who must be pissed. After all, you guys got divorced nine years ago, right?”
With caution, I respond, “Yeah.”
“That was right before “Upside Down” released, if I remember my UC history correctly.”
Standing, I collect both of our cups and trash from our devoured pastries. “UC hit the charts the summer afterward.” I leave for the garbage can. Hopefully, this little break will derail her thoughts.
When I approach the table again, she leans forward. So much for my hope.
She begins, “From what I’ve surmised, you’re the one who should be haunting her nights. UC made it big after you guys split up. You didn’t need her to succeed. Must burn her ass.”
I sit. “I’ve never thought of it this way.” I haven’t. Not once.
“You know I’m right. She’s probably telling everyone she meets that she used to be Coop O’Shea’s wife when she was young.” Her head shakes. “I bet no one believes her.”
She better not be telling anyone we were married. The NDA Luke made her sign is in effect into perpetuity. “I’m not that big of a catch.”
“You’re being silly again. Seriously. Don’t you remember the guy in the bathing suit store who took up guitar because of you? That was only today! You’re in the hottest band on the planet right now.” She leans deeper into her seat. “Trust me. You’re a catch.”
I wave. “Bennett and Río are famous. I’m interchangeable with the rest of the band.”
“Dude. UC begs to disagree. And I’ve heard you play live, remember? You’re frickin’ awesome on that guitar of yours.”
A compliment? Lillian never gave me one. More like begged to join us on tour and be treated like a rockstar’s wife. She was all about adoration, which I happily bestowed upon her. Until band life took over all my attention and left me with nothing more than little scraps to offer her.
Nese continues, interrupting my descent into Lillian-world.
“I think you’ve got the better end of the stick.
Your lead singer and drummer get mobbed almost everywhere they go.
Jenna and Hayden told me this, so you can’t dispute me.
Tris, to some degree, has a bit of reflected glory because he’s new to the band.
But you and 007? You get to have black credit cards and a life.
I call that a win-win. Probably makes it that much worse for the bitch Lillian. ”
Out of habit, I open my mouth to correct her assumption about Lillian, then shut it. Nese isn’t wrong. And she’s not judging me.
She doesn’t know the full story.
I pick up my sunglasses. “Well, no matter what, I can’t imagine you’re going to get me to like clothes shopping.”
She repeats. “Game on!”