Chapter 38
Dakota
The lab was nearly silent, only the soft hum of the distillation column filling the room as it cooled down.
I stood at the bench top, fingers tracing a scratch in the black epoxy, nerves fluttering in my chest, while Dr. Killshaw leaned back against the wall, watching me with an unreadable expression.
Nick had left an hour ago now, and I was fairly confident he hadn’t forgotten anything else at this point.
The air in the lab felt charged, shadowed, dangerous. I swallowed, heat pooling low in my stomach, but I didn’t say anything.
Micah stepped off the wall and my skin prickled with awareness, the world fading away, shrinking only to the look in his eyes, the ease with which he moved.
He was standing right in front of me now.
“I think we’re good to leave for the night,” he said. “Do you need a ride home?”
“Well, I—”
“Come with me,” he said, grabbing his keys and checking the equipment one more time.
I didn’t protest as I packed my things, then walked out of the room in front of him, the lights shutting off behind us. I couldn’t help but wonder incessantly what he was thinking, what he wanted to do right now. I had a suspicion, but I was trying to keep my head on straight.
Outside, the night air was cool against my flushed skin.
Micah and I didn’t really talk as we walked across the dark campus, and that alone was making me…
We approached his old truck.
“I told my roommate I was staying late,” I started, lying. “So she’s expecting to take me home later. On med campus.”
“I’ll take you to med campus, then.”
It was an excuse. One that filled my stomach with butterflies.
“You don’t have to—”
“I want to,” he cut me off.
He unlocked the truck with a click, and I slid onto the bench seat, then he shut the door behind me, going around to the driver’s side. But he didn’t start the engine. Just leaned back, watching me in that patient, unsettling way, until I shifted under his gaze.
He looked at me. I looked at him. I didn’t say a word.
My body was wound so tight, so desperate, that I was barely clinging to my sanity.
Mason would jump off a cliff and drag me down with him. Micah would tell me to jump off myself, and I’d do it just because he asked. Neither one gave me anything to hold onto, to stop from myself from falling.
“Micah,” I whispered, feeling the forbidden shape of the word on my tongue.
One tense second passed. Another. Another.
Being with him made me feel helpless, hopeless, weak.
“What are you doing to me?” he mumbled.
“I’m not—”
“Don’t say you’re not. Don’t lie to me.” His eyes dropped to my lips.
“Okay,” I breathed.
“You’re dangerous.”
“I don’t try to be,” I lied, knowing he’d catch it. Of course I wanted this. Of course I’d been trying to make him give up on his restraint for months. Even when he hurt me, when he tried to discourage me, my hunger persisted. My attachment grew. I bleed so easily.
“I told you not to lie to me.”
“Lying is safer.” My words were barely a whisper in the darkness.
“Nothing is safe here.”
He was still staring at my lips, his eyes dark and predatory. It was making me as nervous as it was making me horny. His face was gorgeous, too perfect to be real, like a god. The truck smelled good, like darkness and forest and secrets…
“I don’t want to be safe,” I dared to say, hopefully provoking him.
“I know you don’t.” He leaned slightly closer. So did I, like he was pulling me with a string, like I was powerless to resist him. “You don’t like being cautious. It pisses me off sometimes.”
“I make you mad?”
“You make me a lot of things.”
I shifted on the bench seat, moving toward him. “Is mad the most frequent one?”
“No.”
“What is?” I inched nearer, studying every perfect detail of his face in the darkness. His stare drifted down, lingering on my mouth again.
“Not mad.”
“Are you—”
Micah grabbed my throat and lowered his mouth to mine.
My world shifted on its axis.
I didn’t hesitate to kiss him back. Not for a single second.
“Fuck,” he grunted, low and rough.
With Mason, I was all violence, all fight.
But with Micah, I was nothing except my hunger.
Soft and messy and desperate and yielding.
Licking into his mouth, sucking at his bottom lip until he was yanking me closer, growling against my lips like he was angry at me for giving myself to him so easily.
The truck was too small for us, cramped, every brush of our bodies deliberate.
He kissed me hard, and with a shocking edge of possession that only served to make me wetter. His teeth scraped over my lips, tongue seeking mine, hands gripping my body everywhere as he pulled me onto his lap.
He slid a hand down my stomach, then cupped me between my thighs.
Fuck.
Instantly I tilted my hips, unable to stop myself from grinding on his palm through my jeans, neither of us wanting to break the kiss, to break the darkly-woven illusion we’d wrapped ourselves in. Everything was moving so fast, but I couldn’t have slowed down if I tried. I didn’t want to.
The heat of my pussy was pressed right to the palm of his hand with a firm pressure. He was grabbing me like he owned me, like I was a possession, like he’d given up on whatever boundaries he’d previous constructed between us.
“If I’ve given you the impression that I’m going to be kind, or that I want anything less than for you to belong to me in disgusting entirety, then I apologize,” Micah started, pulling away, breathing hard.
“Don’t hold out hope for a change in my behavior, because you’re not going to get one.
There’s no softer side waiting to be uncovered.
I’m not going to be gentle with you. I’ll allow you the opportunity to back out now, but beyond this point, what I say goes. Alright?”
My stomach was a ball of nerves, my veins flushed with feverish arousal. But I just nodded and nodded, pressing my mouth back against his. Faster. More. Be mean to me. Be rough. Use me. Don’t stop.
“Take everything off,” he instructed.
“Okay,” I whispered, then started with my boots, unzipping them and kicking them off, fumbling to try and keep my body on top of his, as close as possible.
Micah groaned, grabbing my throat to kiss me deeper while I wiggled out of my jeans, then he pulled off my sweater before unhooking my bra and exposing my breasts.
“Fucking perfect.”
His fingers played over my hard nipples expertly, tugging on the tight points until I was moaning and whimpering, internally begging him to fuck me. To soothe the clenching emptiness inside of me, demanding to be filled by something thick and long and hard.
Let him take. Let him ruin. Split me open.
“Micah,” I whimpered.
“Masters.” He dragged his open mouth along my jaw, his tongue hot against my skin, his hand roughly massaging my breast.
“I need—” I swiveled my hips, grinding on the hardness of his erection through his pants, my arms wrapped around his neck.
The feeling of his cock so big and hard against my center was driving me insane.
I scooted backward, reaching my hand down to grab his bulge, squeezing him as his thighs flexed.
“You need this?” His hands went to the button on his pants, tugging down his fly. I bit down hard on my lower lip, nodding, feeling my hair falling long and loose around my bare body, brushing my waist and hips.
He worked his pants open, adjusting himself on the seat as he shoved his boxers down, taking his cock in his hand. My core clenched tight with need at the size of it.
I wanted to choke on him, wanted the shame.
“Come here.”
He grabbed my waist, guiding me up so I could take my underwear off, then moved me on top of his lap again. The head of his cock bumped against my slick entrance, skin on skin, everything bare between us.
I tilted my forehead against his, both of us staring down at Micah wrapping his hand around the base of his cock, angling himself towards me. Our heavy breathing tangled together in the air, mixing with his shadowy forest scent, so endless and consuming, dragging me deeper into my lust.
Micah helped me sink down on him, my breath stolen from my lungs and my ribs spasming. I squeezed my eyes shut as I stretched around his length, wincing while I took every inch until I was fully seated. He adjusted his hips, making me bend forward with the sensation.
“Fucking strangling my cock,” he said, his voice hoarse and strained. “So tight, Dakota. So goddamn good.”
I experimented with rocking my hips, pleasure knotting low in my belly as my little movements became more and more unstoppable.
He putting such perfect pressure on that spot deep inside of me, making me wetter, needier.
I pressed my chest to his, burying my face in his shoulder while he palmed my ass, my spine curving.
The idea that anyone could see me doing this though…It made me nervous.
“I’m scared, Micah,” I whined, grinding on his dick, paranoia making heat prickle on the back of my neck.
“Nobody’s going to see you. I am one hundred percent certain. Do you trust me?” He took my chin between his fingers, holding my face as he stared into my eyes. His pupils were expanded, his lips slightly parted as he waited for my answer.
“Yes.” The word spilled from my mouth before I could stop it. “Yes. I trust you.”
“Good. Now fuck me like you’re mine.”
What if I want to be yours for real?
It was a stupid, stupid thing to want. He made me stupid. Made me believe in things I didn’t want to believe in.
“Make me watch,” he instructed, his eyes roaming over my figure on top of him, lingering on where I was fucking him. The desperate roll of my hips, the quivering of my belly, the sight of him stretching me. “Show me how you look taking my cock.”
I dragged out my movements, my hair sticking to the sweat on my back. I wasn’t sure what kind of show he wanted from me, but I couldn’t really focus on doing anything other than chasing my own pleasure, feeling his clothes against all my naked skin.
“There you go. Do it exactly like that.”
The angle was making my eyes roll, my breaths get harsher.
I sloppily pressed my mouth to Micah’s, one of my hands drifting down to rub my clit.
“Fuck,” I whined. “Fuck.”
Everything was slick and swollen between my legs, and I was addicted to the pleasure of this, my fingers moving faster over my clit. Every touch wound me up tighter and tighter.
I bucked my hips faster, my ass slapping on his thighs, sweat slick all over my skin. I rode him like I’d die if I stopped. I had no idea if he was planning on this being a one-time thing or not, and I couldn’t take any chances. I wanted his dick as deep and hard as I could take it.
Micah cupped my breasts, his thumbs playing over my nipples, massaging me. I tossed my head back, moaning louder. He grabbed my hips and started thrusting up into me, getting impossibly deeper.
“I’m gonna come,” I moaned in a rush.
And then I did. The sensation pulled tight, low in my belly, pleasure racing up my veins from the apex of my thighs, flooding my synapses. My pussy clenched and released in waves, tightening around Micah’s cock.
Before I could realize what was happening, he grabbed my waist and rapidly flipped me onto my back, leaning over top of me with his knee on the seat. He pounded into me harder, dragging out my orgasm, my breasts bouncing with every thrust, my pussy swollen and oversensitive.
He was gripping my hips, holding me down as he fucked me roughly, working up to his own orgasm.
And then Micah pulled out and came on my pussy, his neck straining, his hand choking his cock.
It felt even filthier than if he had come inside me. Cum dripped down towards my ass, glistening between my legs, marking me in the most messy, primal way.
There was a charged silence in the car as we caught our breaths after his orgasm.
Sweat was cooling on my chest, my stomach, my heartbeat still a drum in my ears.
“Fuck,” he mumbled.
Micah wiped me off as best as he could with his undershirt, then helped me get my clothes back on, being a lot more gentle with me. Each additional second in his proximity was making me feel the need to run, though. I didn’t know what to do now. Sit here? Talk? Let him take me home?
“Um,” I started awkwardly. “You can just drop me off, still. On med campus. My friend is waiting for me.”
“Your friend or your roommate?”
“Oh. My roommate.” I feverishly tried to sift back through my words, to see if I’d said anything insinuating that we didn’t live together.
Micah already knew, I was sure. He didn’t do anything for a few seconds, before eventually starting the car and driving toward where I’d told him to drop me off.
We pulled up in front of the building I usually waited for Mila at.
“I’ll wait here until you get inside,” he said.
I nodded, then hopped out of the truck, scurrying towards the entrance on shaky legs. I turned and gave a quick wave before I disappeared into the building, heart racing in my chest.
I just fucked my professor.
I wasn’t even sure I could think those words without feeling like I was about to freak out. So I tried not to.
Once I was certain Micah had left, I went out the door alone, heading towards the opposite corner of campus.
It was cold and dark, with no students out except me.
I quickened my pace, eyes darting around as I made my way across poorly-lit sidewalks and around dark corners of buildings until I reached the parking lot where I’d walked away from Mason the last time.
With fumbling hands, I got out my phone and typed out a text to Mason, mind swarmed with pathetic thoughts I’d never tell him.
I miss you. I need you. I hate how much I need you. I hate that I want to come crawling back to you. I hate that you hurt me and I hate that it doesn’t stop me from wanting to be with you again.
I couldn’t stop myself from craving his danger because it felt more real than safety ever had. And I couldn’t face the decisions I was making alone. I needed my distraction back.