James
SEVENTEEN
Serenity isn’t found in a location. It’s found in the one person you trust to destroy you.
Fourteen hours, and all my fears and suspicions turn into reality as the silent alarm flashes on my phone, warning me of impending visitors. I swipe a hand down my face. This is either supremely stupid or ingenious. Probably a combination of both.
The unmistakable sound of a car rumbling toward my home reaches my ears as I glance around my immaculate home about to be invaded.
I discount ten alternative plans in the space of thirty seconds.
To survive under Jonathan’s rule, I had to become a master of strategy in pressurized circumstances, which is how I know I’m fucked.
There is no alternative course of action that doesn’t put Stephanie in even more danger.
The number of people Camryn trusts has tightened to almost none.
I can’t believe I missed the link to her direct supervisor, but sometimes these connections only make themselves known once they’re trying to prove something.
There’s more than enough room in this lodge for us to keep the distance I need to stay sane.
That’s my mantra as the car engine switches off and two doors open.
I close my eyes and cling to this last moment of peace where I’m not being tested for my past sins and the future ones I want to commit when I even think about this woman.
I rise and shake off the thoughts before swinging the door open and coming face to face with the blue-eyed, dark-haired beauty.
Every time I lay eyes on her, she knocks me back a step.
It’s as if I can’t fully memorize every facet of her beauty, or maybe it’s that I try not to so I don’t have more ammunition to torment myself with in the depths of the night.
But now, I look my fill, reassuring myself she’s here and whole. Almost whole, I’m reminded by the angry slash of red at her temple. Too close. Far too fucking close. And what would that mean to Christopher? Absolutely nothing. He wouldn’t even miss a beat before selecting his next victim.
She cocks her head. “Is there a secret password, or are you going to let us in? Because if not, I need somewhere to squat because this pee isn’t staying in if I even breathe heavily.”
I step back, creating space for her. “The guest room is down the hall, the second door on the right. There’s an adjoining bathroom for you.”
She skips off with a smile that no one who has been subjected to the evil in the world should still possess. She’s a walking miracle, and a reminder that it doesn’t break everyone. I still want to murder the guys who hurt her, over and over and over.
I fold my arms and raise an unimpressed brow at Camryn.
She strides up the steps, favoring her right side, and the dark circles under her eyes tell of the recent battle of someone who has lost her footing in the world.
I can’t fix that for her. I already know that betrayal and deceit run deep in the veins of those in power.
“Don’t start,” she mutters. She drops a brown duffel bag on the floor and moves past me to plonk herself on the sofa, head back, eyes fluttering closed. I close the door and eye the empty hallway.
“What are you thinking?” I whisper as I join her.
She pops one eye open. “I was thinking there is nowhere legit that woman is safe.”
“But here?”
“Here is off the grid, and no one knows about it.”
Which begs the question... “But you do.”
“I’m your handler. It’s my job to know where you are.”
“But this place isn’t listed. It doesn’t even exist on a map.” Not to mention my sister runs great interference for any satellite images. All anyone would see is a clearing surrounded by trees, rolling fields, and endless, inaccessible rocky terrain.
“I’m very, very good at my job.”
I stiffen when the guest room door snicks open. “Who else knows?”
“No one. It’s not in my notes or my files.”
That seems unlike her. Deep down, she must have known one day she might need to utilize somewhere like this.
We clam up as Stephanie glides into the open-plan room.
She wags a finger at the pair of us. “Don’t do that.
It’s triggering. I spent far too long having the grown-ups whisper about me and my future without actually sharing it.
I won’t go back to that ever again. I will walk my ass out that door and down this freaking mountain if you don’t keep me in the loop about things that involve me. ”
I catch Camryn’s gaze. She isn’t surprised, having learned about Stephanie’s quiet yet unmistakable strength in the space of a few days.
Fine, cards on the table.
“I can’t always be here to protect her,” I snap. I have appearances to keep and demons to catch.
“And I don’t need a freaking babysitter,” Stephanie answers. “I might be in danger, but make no mistake—I am an adult who can wipe her own ass.”
She sits between me and Camryn, and the scent of whatever she uses on her hair washes over me. Something berry based. I haven’t even been able to drink juice without being reminded of her.
“I’m here by choice,” she continues. “To allow you both to continue to do your jobs and not worry about me. That’s the reason I’m going along with being pulled and pushed in various directions and houses.
I understand that I’m outmatched, but I know if Christopher takes me, the people I love and care about will do stupid shit and put themselves in danger. ”
What must it be like to have someone like her care? Well, not someone like her. Just her. Only her.
Camryn’s jaw tics. “At least we agree that this is the best place for you. No one knows he’s here.” Apart from you, it seems. “And on the occasions you need to leave, you call me, and I’ll swap out.”
Stephanie’s lips curve. “Girls’ night is on the cards after all, Camryn. I will paint your nails if it’s the last thing I do.”
I feel like I’m missing something. Camryn snorts. “Deal.” She turns to me, all humor disappearing from her face. “I didn’t have time to grab Stephanie any clothes. We abandoned everything, and I didn’t want to risk stopping anywhere.”
“I have stuff to keep her going,” I reply.
Stephanie’s gaze lasers on my face, and Camryn nods in understanding. “In that bag are her meds, antibiotics, and painkillers. Although be warned—the painkillers make her loopy.”
“Bah,” Stephanie says. “You say loopy, I say loose.”
This is going to test more than my bubbling attraction.
When was the last time I shared my home with anyone?
The answer is my mother. I haven’t allowed myself to get close, not when drawing in any woman put them in immediate danger.
You’d think that would have changed since I became the leader, but if anything, it’s worse.
Everything I do and say is being watched by those immediately beneath me, ready to rip out my throat at the first sign of weakness.
My crucial role for Jonathan was security. While it made me grind my teeth to protect him, it meant I wasn’t forced into taking women and girls into my life and helping to keep the sick circle of unregistered babies born inside the cult going.
“Still, you need to be careful,” Camryn warns.
“Fine. It’s not like I can’t manage without, anyway.”
She will take the damn pills at the first sign of pain.
“Are you staying?” I ask Camryn. It looks like she needs a night to rest, regroup, and make a plan. I should know better.
“No, it’s too dangerous. In fact, I should get going now.”
Stephanie’s eyes shift to the woman who has taken a literal bullet for her as she stands. She jumps to her feet and wraps her arms around the shocked agent. “Thank you,” Stephanie whispers. “You might think this is just doing your job, but you have to know how rare you are.”
Camryn reciprocates the hug. “I’ll see you shortly, okay? I need a little time to check in far, far away from here so as not to rouse suspicions.”
“Okay, but don’t leave it too long.”
Because she’s scared to be alone with me? Not unreasonable, but I would never hurt her. In fact, I’d prefer not to be in the same zip code as her.
“You gather the nail polish, and we’ll call it a date.”
Still confused about this.
I follow Camryn to the door as Stephanie turns on the TV and settles back against the sofa.
“Be careful with her,” Camryn says as we step outside and out of her earshot.
I fold my arms. “Always.”
“I mean it, James. She acts as if she hasn’t experienced a single bad thing in her life when we both know it’s the complete opposite.”
Actually, people like that are often entitled assholes who believe they can take what they want without consequences.
Stephanie is the way she is because she’s walked the edge of darkness and found the strength to crawl back to the light.
She’s someone who doesn’t take each breath she takes for granted. It’s both heartbreaking and admirable.
“Are you suggesting I’m going to do something to her?” I ask. “Because if that’s the case, put her in the car and take your chances out in the world.”
She’s not going anywhere. I won’t allow it. I don’t want her here, but now that she is, I can’t think of her being anywhere else and feel that she’s safe.
“You weren’t my first choice,” Camryn says. No bullshit, as always. “But you’re my only one at this stage, and until I figure this out, you’ll continue to be just that.”
“Understood. Go check your own yard, agent. Clean out the crap before you trust anyone again.”
Her forehead creases at the reminder that while I may be a threat and the embodiment of evil most run screaming from, the men pretending to be at the forefront of justice are a thousand times worse.
“What are you going to tell the bureau about Stephanie?”
“That her brother has taken over.”
That tracks. The MC has an underbelly much like us, although his is legit and does far more good than harm for any of the communities they touch. But it makes everyone pause when dealing with a prominent MC. It’s not unusual that they could help make someone disappear.
“I’ll be in touch over the following days with the next steps.”
I raise my eyes to the clouds rolling in. In a few days she might not get back here, depending on how the weather turns. It’s both a nuisance and a comfort being this far off the grid.
She gets in the car and disappears down the road, taking with her the last moments of serenity I have.
I engage the house alarm, locking us inside and triggering the vast system that gives me peace of mind.
“If you’re done talking about me, roomie, come join me on the sofa. I just pulled up Desperate Housewives for a marathon binge-watch, and I have snacks for days.”
It’s her I want to snack on.
I am going to hell.