Chapter 30
Thirty
Martin
I’d never truly contemplated my own death, or what it would feel like to die.
I wasn’t immortal. I knew that one day I would cease to exist. The threat of the wyvern had made that eventual end more likely.
Even then, I didn’t stop to think about what it would be to no longer be sentient, to no longer have a place and part in the world.
Would I have done anything differently if I’d truly contemplated the consequences?
I wasn’t certain. Most likely, I never would be certain.
All I knew was that the ones I loved were in mortal danger and there was something I could do to protect them, to keep them safe from danger.
To preserve their lives. As a dryad, I’d never thought there would be a situation where my actions could truly mean the difference between life and death.
Huxley hadn’t been nearly so shortsighted.
No, Huxley’s mind had imagined sinister twists and turns.
He’d never seen the natural order as a deterrent, simply a block in the road he needed to navigate around; the cost of paving those new roads was never a true consideration.
Not for an individual like Tenzen Huxley.
For him, the ends always justified the means.
And so, I’d been given a choice. Some might call it an opportunity.
I didn’t see it as that. I simply saw the avenue Huxley had left and willingly chosen to engage it.
Had it hurt? Without a doubt. The physical pain was beyond excruciating.
It was like fire surging through my sap, racing inside me, taking over everything until I physically felt nothing.
That numb feeling only lasted long enough for my last vestige of consciousness to fall as well. And then…there was nothing.
I couldn’t say how long that great nothing lasted or when I even became aware that there had been nothing. It felt like the first rays of the morning sun touching my outstretched leaves, waking them by infinitesimal degrees.
I felt, and more importantly, I knew that I could feel.
It was a conscious thought, a welcome emotion.
And at first, that’s all I could do—feel.
It was lovely, that sun striking my leaves, filling me up with warmth.
I think the feeling started in my trunk, or maybe my roots.
I couldn’t be certain. My first awakenings were fuzzy at best. It was a slumbering knowledge that there had been more before and yet I’d only now come to realize the sensation was there.
The need to stretch and yawn pulled at me, but I felt stymied.
My branches were heavy and not easily moved.
The wind touched my leaves, rustling them and creating a gentle sway on my tiniest, most distant branches.
Those branches seemed to stretch on forever, far greater than I remembered them ever being before.
My internal magic grew, filling in all the hollow spaces where I instinctually knew it had once lived.
It was fragile, this burgeoning magic, and I worried it was stretching itself too thin.
I internally cautioned it to take its time, to grow and stretch itself at a more sedate pace.
My magic wouldn’t listen. It demanded more and insisted with an urgency I didn’t understand.
Other sensations began filtering in. It wasn’t just the wind and sun I felt, but a heavier presence pressed against the base of my trunk. Sounds slowly seeped in. Whispered voices overshadowed by sobbing and…begging? What was that pleading voice, and why did it cut me to the core?
My memories were hazy and traveled through me like a movie skipping scenes.
My peaceful repast was broken by new, more painful feelings.
Dread. Desperation. Fear. Those toxic emotions flooded me, and I suddenly understood my magic’s urgency.
While I didn’t yet remember the reasons for such powerful emotions, I didn’t doubt them either. Something was wrong. Terribly wrong.
That flickering movie reel going through my mind came to a stop on a single frame—the most beautiful face I’d ever seen. A name quickly followed. Grayson. Gray. My Gray.
And then it was as if the floodgates opened and the past few days slammed into my mind with the force of a juggernaut.
Memories slotted into place, tiny jigsaw pieces finding their match and completing a picture I wasn’t certain I was ready to see.
The Magical Usage Council, Tenzen Huxley’s betrayal, our fallen friends and family, Gray’s arrival, me becoming his anchor, finding Huxley’s hidden treasure, Hikaru’s tail, the wyvern eggs, the buzzweeds, and… the core buzzweed.
It all came back to me, my decision to join with that core buzzweed, to invite the pixie magic into myself, to create a barrier around the council that would protect those I loved.
The sobbing pleas made sense, the voice now recognizable. Gray.
My branches were still heavy. I created a new one, a smaller one, sending it down and cradling Gray’s body. Hushed gasps filled the air, but all I cared about was the small will-o’-the-wisp that had captured my heart.
“Goddess bless!” I knew that voice. Jima. “He moved. Did you see that? Martin moved!”
“I saw, Jima.” Keir.
“It’s lovely.” Tabitha.
“Hot damn.” Henry, followed by happy whooping sounds.
“Just like I said.” Hikaru. Cocky as ever.
“Hmm.” Deep and resonant. Warlock Holland.
“Martin? Is that you?” And the sweetest sound yet.
Gray’s voice shook with uncertainty. I could feel his fingers ghost against my bark.
I didn’t like the pain resonating through his words.
I hated his fear and sorrow even more. We’d once been able to speak with each other, even when I was in my tree form.
I wasn’t certain why we couldn’t now, only that my words didn’t reach him when I tried to offer him verbal comfort.
Gray couldn’t hear me when I attempted to tell him that I was fine.
“Martin?” Gray’s fingers scrabbled at my bark. “Please, Martin. Say something to me.”
I’m here, I tried again, but it was as useless as before.
“We can’t understand him when he’s in his tree form,” I heard Jima explain.
“No, I know, but I can. Martin and I have talked before. We can always talk to each other when we’re in our alternate forms,” Gray argued.
I know. I don’t know why we can’t now either, I thought, mentally sending that message to Gray. Just like before, he couldn’t hear me.
“Things have changed,” Hikaru said. “You don’t have each other’s magic any longer. Makes sense you wouldn’t be able to speak to each other like you used to.”
Why didn’t we have each other’s magic anymore?
I frantically searched inside myself and found, to my horror, that Hikaru was right.
Gray’s spark of magic was gone. Panic was a useless emotion, and yet it was one few of us could completely control.
Panic gripped me now. I desperately tried to return to my humanoid form, but those attempts only resulted in soul-gripping pain.
“Stop that,” Hikaru scolded. I felt the weight of his hand smack my trunk. “Honestly, you’re little more than a newborn dryad right now.” Hikaru huffed. “Idiot Martin. Always pushing yourself too far.”
I whacked Hikaru across the back of his head with one of my branches.
“Ow! What the fuck was that for?”
“I believe you hit him first,” Holland’s deep base voice laughingly said.
“You’re supposed to defend me, Niki.”
“You hardly need me for that. Especially when you are the instigating factor.” Holland placed an arm around Hikaru’s shoulders, pulling him close in apology. “Most likely Hikaru is correct.”
“Most likely?” Hikaru complained. “I’m always correct, thank you very much.”
If I’d had them, I would have rolled my eyes. As it was, I could barely stop myself from smacking him again.
“As I was saying,” Holland continued as if Hikaru hadn’t just thrown a hissy fit, “Hikaru is most likely correct. It takes a lot of magical energy to transform from one shape to another. Martin’s magic is using all its strength to replicate itself and replace what he’s lost. It will take time, but I believe Martin will be able to return to his humanoid form soon enough. The will is certainly there.”
Hikaru snorted. “Yeah, I can literally see his magic trying. It’s too much of a strain right now.
You hear that, Martin?” Hikaru obnoxiously knocked on my trunk.
“Don’t hurt yourself. You’re lucky as it is that Grayson protected your final piece of magic.
Don’t waste all his effort by being stupid.
Poor will-o’-the-wisp looks rough enough without you adding to his misery. ”
My trunk shook with irritation and concern. I wanted to scream at Hikaru and tell him to fuck right off. Just as badly, I wanted to scoop Gray up into my branches and cradle him within my canopy.
“Come on, Niki. I think our work here is done. And Martin’s starting to get a little too worked up.” The playful cadence in Hikaru’s voice grated at my nerves.
“I believe he has had some help in that—” Whatever Holland was going to say cut off as Hikaru dissipated, taking Warlock Holland with him.
Without the troublesome kitsune, silence filled the air.
That quiet was finally broken by Henry. “Fuck, I’m tired.
If this bullshit’s finally over, I’m gonna go see what’s left of my home and sleep for a day, maybe more.
Keir, don’t you go out there and confront those wyvern until I’ve had a good rest. You hear me?
I’ll be mighty pissed off if I’m woken by the damn buildin’ fallin’ in.
” Grumbling to himself, Henry scampered away.
Tabitha’s soft chuckles filled the air. “As usual, Henry has the right of it. We all need rest. Jima, will you help an old medium stand?”
“Of course.” Jima hopped up, helping Tabitha stand. She was shaky and pale, but thankfully able to stand on her own two feet.