Chapter 30 #3
My grim thoughts threatened to consume me.
If Gray left, then I heartily wished he’d left me as I was—a beautifully stalwart oak tree, free from the pain of lost love.
The thought of Gray carrying my last bit of magic within him, until the day he passed from this world, was a romantic notion that I couldn’t eradicate from my brain.
“Why are you thinking so hard?” Gray’s soft voice and even softer touch pulled me from my gloomy musings.
“Even without your magic inside me, I can hear you thinking.” Gray yawned, his slender jaw cracking with the effort.
“I feel like I could sleep for at least another day, maybe two. Why are you… Martin!”
Gray bolted upright, eyes wide and bright as they frantically searched my face.
It wasn’t just his gaze, but Gray’s hands also.
I felt his touch everywhere as his fingers skimmed over my flesh.
Fresh tears traced their way down weathered paths, slipping from his chin and falling on his lap.
“You’re you. I mean… Fuck it, I don’t care what I mean.
” Gray threw his arms around me, hugging me tight.
I couldn’t help but reciprocate. For such a tiny individual, Gray had a strong grip.
“Don’t ever do that to me again,” Gray scolded. “I mean it.” He pulled back, roughly wiping the tears from his eyes and cheeks. “I was so lost. So… There are no words.” Gray hung his head, his hair hiding his eyes.
“I’m sorry.” As always, sorry was completely inadequate and yet it was all I had. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”
Gray’s forehead leaned against my chest. “But you’re not sorry you did it,” Gray rightly said.
It was on the tip of my tongue to deny it, but I couldn’t lie to him, or maybe wouldn’t lie.
Not about this. “Verona was too close. There was no way Keir could have escaped with the eggs. I didn’t know when Thalia’s entourage would show up, if they’d get here in time.
I had a choice and I made it.” My words made me sound cold and calculating, as if what I’d done had been a simple decision.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
I got a smack on my chest, followed by a handful of others. Gray’s actions were made from frustration, not any true will to harm me. As an oak dryad, he’d have to punch me a hell of a lot harder than that to even so much as sting.
“Self-sacrificing asshole,” Gray muttered. “Why did I have to fall in love with such an altruistic dryad?”
I raked my fingers through Gray’s cotton-soft hair, pulling him closer until his cheek pressed against my chest, allowing him to hear and feel my beating heart. “Says the will-o’-the-wisp that risked his life to lead Axios away from the compound.”
“That’s different,” Gray argued.
“How so?”
“I was never truly in danger,” Gray huffed.
My eyebrows rose skyward. “My understanding is that Axios spits acid. I don’t think even your wisp form can survive that.”
Gray’s answer was a stubborn huff followed by “Axios was too enthralled to think about harming me.”
Something in my soul settled, that fearful knot I’d been carrying beginning to ease. It would take a lot more to untangle it completely. “I am pleased to hear it.”
“You should be. I’m not some wet-behind-the-ears will-o’-the-wisp, you know.”
A grin stretched my cheeks. “Of course you aren’t.”
Two more huffs were my answer before Gray relaxed into my hold. If I could, I’d stop time. Nothing could be more perfect than holding Gray to me, his scent surrounding me as his warmth thawed the cold my worries created.
But Time was ever fickle, even now. Gray might yet be tired, despite sleeping for hours.
Keir had promised to wait twenty-four hours before heading topside with the eggs.
If I knew Keir—and I was positive I did—then he wouldn’t expect any of us to go with him.
I had no intention of sending him out there alone.
“You’re thinking too hard again,” Gray accused.
“How can you tell?” Considering Gray no longer had a piece of my magic as his own personal mood ring, I honestly wondered.
He shrugged within my arms. “It’s not difficult to tell. You get all tense and your heart slows.”
“It slows?” Shouldn’t my heart speed up if I was contemplating something serious?
“Mm-hmm.” Gray’s fingers tapped over my chest. “It’s not a bad thing, and I doubt too many others can tell. I can.”
Another knot of unease released.
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” Gray said.
Inhaling, Gray’s body rose and fell with my intake and exhale. “Keir.”
Gray scoffed. “Yeah, he thinks he’s going out there all alone and that we’re all just gonna stay tucked away inside our safe pixie-protected bubble.
” Gray pulled away and I instantly missed his warmth.
With another yawn and deep stretch, Gray rolled his shoulders before standing.
Holding a hand out to me, Gray said, “Come on. Let’s go see what Keir’s up to.
Twenty bucks says he’ll try and sneak out before his promised twenty-four hours are up. ”
I wasn’t about to take that bet. Instead, I grasped Gray’s hand and allowed him to help pull me up. We’d discuss the future later. Assuming there was a future to discuss.