Chapter 1
“Have you got the book?” Dorothy Montford asked eagerly, handing her coat to the footman and allowing Agnes Langford to usher her into the house.
“I’ve been so looking forward to today, Agnes.
If my father knew about this—! We’re going to have to have all our book club meetings at your house for the foreseeable future to make sure that no one finds out we’re reading something so scandalous. ”
Agnes sighed. “If only we were going to be reading something scandalous.”
“Oh, no.” Dorothy’s face fell. “You weren’t able to get it?”
“Let’s go into the sitting room,” Agnes suggested. “We can speak more about it there. Violet is waiting for us.”
“She already knows you don’t have it?” Dorothy pressed, following Agnes.
“She knows. I don’t even think she’s that disappointed, truth be told.”
“Well, that’s not really such a surprise, is it?” Dorothy asked. “I think we were always going to have a fight on our hands to get Violet Hartwell to take an interest in anything scandalous. I’m surprised she spends any time at all in our company.”
Agnes chuckled. “I think she would have adjusted to the idea once we actually had the book,” she said. “How could anyone fail to take an interest in Venus in the Cloister? It’s such an infamous title.”
They had crossed into the sitting room now, and Violet, who was sitting by the fire with her embroidery in her lap, looked up at them and frowned.
“Are you still talking about that filthy book?” she asked.
“I think it’s for the best that you don’t have it, Agnes.
It’s a sign. Ladies really shouldn’t be reading such vile things. ”
“I think that’s your parents talking,” Dorothy teased. “Oh, Violet, you have to admit that you’re at least curious about it. Everyone says it’s the most scandalous piece of literature to be published in years. People are trying to have it swept from London altogether.”
“Which is why I’m so determined to get my hands on a copy,” Agnes put in. “This book is what everyone is talking about, and I want to be a part of the conversation.”
“Well, it’s more than that,” Violet told her. “You’re not just trying to join in people’s talks, Agnes. For you, this is all about that list of yours, we all know that.”
“That list is a magnificent thing,” Dorothy said with a laugh. “And this book is one of the things on it that you might actually be able to accomplish.”
“I’m going to accomplish everything on my list,” Agnes said firmly.
She was aware that her friends struggled to believe her when she said such things.
She had written her List of Improper Ideas on a whim one night, after another ball that had left her angry and agitated at the prospect that she would be expected to marry and sign over her life and her happiness to the whims of a husband.
The list had begun as a way to express the unfairness of the situation, to shout into the void that if she were allowed her own way and a say in her own life, she would do all these scandalous things that would shock everyone who expected her to behave differently. She had gone to bed angry.
It wasn’t until the next morning that she began to look at the list seriously. All right, she had written it out of anger, but what if it was more than an exercise? What if it were a set of instructions? A way to reclaim the life she had believed was slipping away from her?
Now, at the age of thirty, Agnes was a spinster, and she was happy about it. Her brother, Reeves, the Duke of Greystone, worried about her choice and thought she was making a mistake, but he had never tried to rule over her.
She lived on her own at Sheperfield Estate, a small home just outside of London. She spent her days as she liked, for the most part, and she had stopped thinking that she would one day be forced into a marriage she didn’t want. This life was what she had made it. She was happy here.
And she had held onto her list.
She’d made the decision only a few weeks ago that she might as well try to accomplish the items she had written down.
Every time she thought about it, it excited her.
Her Improper Ideas would help her create a life of adventure, a life that was truly her own.
She would live in a way few ladies ever did.
It would begin with this book.
“We should try to get it somewhere else,” Dorothy suggested. “There has to be another copy in town.”
“It’s been removed from the bookshops,” Agnes said. “You know that. And the only person I know of who has a copy is the Duke of Bellmoor, and that’s only because you say you saw it in his library when you were at Bellmoor last year for his ball.”
“If you’d attended the event, you could have simply taken it off the shelf and read it right there and then,” Dorothy said. “It wasn’t hidden. It was just among the other books.” She giggled. “If I had such a book, I would keep it tucked under my pillow at all times, so no one would ever find out!”
Violet set her embroidery down. “It’s bad enough to contemplate reading this book,” she said. “Even you, Agnes, would not read it in the Duke’s library, where anyone might walk in and catch you at any moment. I can’t even believe you wrote to him and asked to borrow it! What must he think of you?”
“Oh, I don’t care about that,” Agnes said, waving a hand dismissively. “Let him think whatever he likes! It isn’t any of my concern. I just want him to loan me the book.”
“But you don’t think he will?” Dorothy asked.
“I think if he was willing, he probably would have answered my letter,” Agnes sighed. “It was always a long shot. I don’t know him well, after all.”
“Aren’t you concerned now that he’s going to make a show of you?” Violet asked. “With that letter you sent in hand, he could tell all of London that you were setting out to read scandalous literature. He would have all the proof he needed, too. He could tarnish your name.”
Agnes laughed. “Would anyone even be surprised to hear such things about me?” she asked.
“Think of it. What you’re saying—these are things people already believe about me, Violet, because I’m a spinster.
Because I’ve never sought to marry. Everyone thinks I’m scandalous already.
If you asked everyone in London to guess who they thought might read this book, my name would come up very quickly. ”
“And is that why you want to do it?” Violet leaned forward. “You want to prove them right?”
“Violet, she only wants to accomplish one of the items on her list,” Dorothy said with a wave of her hand.
“Most of them are impossible, but this is the one that might be able to be done, so it’s the right one to focus on.
And after all, it really is only a book.
Controversial , yes, but what harm can it do? ”
“Oh, I suppose that’s true,” Violet sighed. “And if it gets this nonsense out of your system and off of your mind, Agnes, it will have been worth it.”
Agnes didn’t answer. She didn’t feel as if she could.
Neither of her friends had properly understood her dedication to her list. They didn’t realize she wasn’t choosing one item to check off as a token gesture.
She meant to complete the whole thing. This book was just the start.
But if she had told them that, she suspected that even Dorothy would stop supporting her endeavors and try to bring her to her senses.
She didn’t want to argue with both of them at once.
“It doesn’t matter,” she said. “There’s no way for me to read it. The Duke of Bellmoor hasn’t responded to my letters. I don’t think he’s open to the idea of loaning me a book from his library.”
“Well, we do know where the book is,” Dorothy said slowly. “I could tell you exactly where in his library you could find it.”
“What good does that do me? Do you think I should write him again and explain where the book is located? I’m sure he knows which one I’m talking about.”
“No, that wasn’t my point,” Dorothy said. “What I’m saying is…what if you just went and got it?”
“Went into his house?” Violet interjected, sitting up straighter.
“It’s probably a foolish idea,” Dorothy said.
“It’s definitely a foolish idea! This is completely out of hand. I can’t believe you’re even considering it, Agnes.”
For Agnes was frowning, her gaze suddenly far off. “I know it’s a lot to think about,” she murmured. “And maybe it is foolish. But if it meant I might get my hands on that book, maybe I would be willing to try.”
“I think you need to go to church,” Violet said firmly. “I think both of you do. This is an utterly ridiculous proposition.”
“I could do it, though,” Agnes murmured. “I could sneak in through the servants’ entrance. If I chose the right clothing, I might not be noticed. I could grab the book and sneak back out, and no one would be the wiser.”
“And what would happen when the duke realized his book was missing?” Violet demanded. “He would know you were the one who had taken it. He has letters from you asking to borrow it.”
“He might not notice for a while, though,” Agnes said. “I might have time to finish reading it. Then I could get it back. Maybe even before he noticed what had happened. It’s possible.”
“You’re mad,” Violet murmured.
But Agnes didn’t think she was. Suddenly, she had a plan that seemed to make sense.
A way to advance in her goal of getting this scandalous book in her hands and having the opportunity to read it.
It was an ambition she pursued single-mindedly, to distraction, and now it seemed that a door might have opened for her.
It had always been a distant possibility that the duke would allow her to borrow the book. Even if he was willing to do her a favor, he would be taking a risk himself by associating with her, especially to give her such a scandalous book. People would think less of him for it.
But this would get both of them around that concern. No one could fault him for having had something stolen from him. No one could think any the less of him for that.
She knew Violet was only worried about what would happen to her. This could damage Agnes’ reputation, and she was well aware of that. Just because she wasn’t highly thought of in society, that didn’t mean things couldn’t get worse for her.
But on the other hand, nothing was going to get better if she didn’t take action.
The thing that frightened her more than any other was the idea that her life was over.
That at thirty years of age, she might have already had all the excitement she was going to get in life, and now she would spend the rest of her days wasting away in this quiet home, at peace, but without any adventure to speak of.
I have to try this, she realized. I have to make the most of this opportunity. If it means that I might get one step closer to completing my list, it’s worth it. It’s worth any risk that might be involved.
She sat quietly, pondering what lay ahead, while her friends moved the conversation to easier topics. She nodded along, smiling, and was agreeable. She listened. She sipped her tea.
But her thoughts were already miles away, at the duke’s estate.
Already, she was beginning to plan what would happen when next she had the chance to go out.