Chapter 9
CHAPTER NINE
It seemed as though the reason was for Maude’s sudden departure required a bit of her time, because Phoebe had waited for over ten minutes for the woman to return.
But when it appeared she would remain occupied for a while longer, the duchess decided to continue her walk around the estate.
She strolled down the hallways, peering out of the window at the vast lawn the house sat on. The magnificence of it all was still so astounding to her and a constant reminder that she had large shoes to fill and a reputation to uphold.
Phoebe walked past the doors that led to the backyard and paused, leaning back to look through them when she realized they were open. Curiously, she walked over and stepped out onto the lawn, inhaling deeply as a gentle gust of wind.
It was refreshing; to feel the warmth of the sun on her skin, the light pulls of wind in her hair.
She glanced around as she stepped further onto the grass, smiling slightly at the sight of a gazebo on the far right.
There was a stable further down the property and for a moment, Phoebe considered walking over there to take a look at the horses.
She remembered that Maude had said Edward liked to ride every week and it made her imagine what he looked like on a horse, leading the powerful beast down a path with ease.
However, as she took a step forward, she caught sight of the garden from the corner of her eye and her feet instinctively took her in that direction. Some flowers were already in bloom, their colourful petals practically glowing beneath the bright sun, stalks swaying slightly in the wind.
The gardener was clearly devoted to his job, as the flower beds looked impeccably neat.
Maude had mentioned he always came to check on the plants every other day, and it was clear to Phoebe how much effort he put in every time.
Slowly, she reached out and lightly patted the petal of a rose with the tip of her finger, smiling at the sensation of the soft petal against her skin.
Her mother loved gardening and as a child, Phoebe had clung to her skirts as she planted seeds, transferred plants from little clay pots to the soil in front of their house.
When she grew older, she began to help her mother around the garden, and the hobby became one of Phoebe’s favourite moments to share with her.
She continued to explore the garden, smiling wider when she noticed a particular patch of flowers had attracted butterflies, the colourful insects flapping their wings gracefully as they hovered in the air above the flowers.
As she drew closer, she spotted that there were some flowers that had grown fully, although they had long slim stalks.
The soil they were planted in looked freshly upturned, as though they had been recently transplanted into that part of the garden. When Phoebe took a closer look, she noticed that gardener had planted daffodils and tulips together.
Her mother had told her that it was not a good idea to plant those flowers — and some others — together so close together, as they would fiercely compete for nutrients and end up slowing their growth.
“No matter how pretty they look together, it is best to keep some plants separate while they are still growing. When they have matured enough and can be plucked, you can allow them to shine together then,” her mother had told her once.
And now that she has witnessed the mistake, she felt duty bound to fix it. She glanced around and spotted what was likely the Gardener’s shed. In mere moments, she had rummaged around in it and retrieved what she had set out to find — a hand trowel.
Armed with her tool, Phoebe got down to her knees and set to work.
It felt peaceful, doing something manually by herself, without feeling as though she had to report to someone else and have them take care of it.
She did what she could to carefully extract the tulips from the soil and transfer them to another empty prepared section of the garden.
She had been at it for about fifteen minutes when she heard a scream. Startled, she dropped the trowel and rose to her feet.
“What? What’s wrong —”
“What on earth are you doing, Your Grace? Why are you — good lord, your dress. Oh, it is ruined!” Jenny wailed as she clung to Phoebe’s arms.
“It is only grass stains. I can wash them off —”
“Wash your own clothes? Whatever for?” Maude questioned approached them looking absolutely aghast.
“Well, I did get it dirty so I should be the one to clean it,” Phoebe reasoned, looking down at her dress and frowning at the stains from the dirt and grass. “As soon as I am done here, I will get it cleaned.”
“I do not know why you are even committing to such a menial task, Your Grace. A woman of your title –”
Phoebe dropped down to her knees again, raising her eyes up to the housekeeper with what she hoped was a placating look.
“I noticed something was amiss with the plants and decided to fix it. It really is not a difficult task and I should be done soon –”
“What are you doing?”
Phoebe’s eyes widened at the sound of her husband’s voice and she quickly glanced backwards.
Jenny and Maude swiftly turned around to bow to him but he simply breezed past them, he narrowed gaze trained on her.
She swallowed nervously, aware of her less than appealing state and she willed herself to speak up.
“Good morning, Your Grace. I-I was just –”
The words had scarcely left Phoebe’s lips before Edward’s strong hands braced against her arms and pulled her to her feet, moments later lifting her into his arms. Phoebe was too shocked to even scream, blinking owlishly as he nodded at the staff, instructing Maude to, “Find someone to fix this,” before he carried her into the house.
“I-I’m sorry, Your Grace – I did not mean to upset you. Those flowers should not have been planted together and I knew that. Rather than fetching the gardener, since I was there, I decided to fix it,” she quickly told him, hoping he would listen and understand.
Edward stayed silent as he continued to make his way through the house with her in his arms, a few members of the staff giving them surprised looks as they lowered into bows.
Phoebe could imagine that they made quite the sight, and was starting to feel a little ashamed of her current state.
He ignored them as well, not stopping until he arrived at a drawing room.
The duke walked in, shut the door and lowered her to her feet before he asked,
“What were you doing?”
Flustered, Phoebe tried to run her hands down the skirts of her dress, but her palms were still dirty so all she did was make herself look even worse.
Edward’s gaze lowered with her hands and he raised it to her eyes when she immediately regretted her actions, as though he was waiting to hear her explain why she had gotten herself into this situation.
“I have always fixed things that were amiss in my home, Your Grace –”
“I told you to call me by my name, duchess.”
Phoebe inhaled sharply, working up the courage to continue.
“It was not a strenuous task. I do like gardening and it really was no trouble to simply rectify the issue. I did not mind.”
“You should have minded your position at least, Phoebe. It is not about the nature of the work, but what it means for you to kneel in the dirt while the staff watch. It is undignified. You are a duchess now and while you might not pay much attention to the expectations of those around you, it is vital that you remember your status. If you act like a servant, the servants will not feel inclined to respect you, because you would have given them the impression that you are just like them. And you are not,” he told her strictly, his demeanor unusually tense and cold.
This side of him was new to her and it made her feel rather conflicted. She did have a reputation to uphold and by doing what she had, it was likely that she had embarrassed him.
“I find it hard to believe that they would refuse to respect me simply because I toiled in the dirt. Although I did not do it for the sake of earning their respect, I find it is much easier to think positively towards people who understand the meaning of hard work. Privilege is nothing to be ashamed of, but I would not expect that you would understand what it is like to be the only one whose efforts can be relied on for certain things,” she heard herself say in an empty tone.
Edward laughed, but there was not a trace of humor to be found in his voice.
“That is where you are wrong, duchess. While I have no doubt that our circumstances differ greatly, I am familiar with the weight of responsibilities that cannot be handed off to another. And that is why I am telling you not to taint the good fortune you have been given by your need to control everything that is awry before you. Some things are not worth the time you waste on them, no matter how noble you deem the cause.”
It felt as though he did not care at all what she had to say, only more concerned with ensuring that she did not make the same mistake again.
She understood why he felt the way he did about the situation, but she did not share the same opinions about being seen as less than because she got a little dirty.
“I’m s-sorry, Your – Edward. I did not think of how my actions would be perceived and that was an oversight on my part.
I should have simply pointed out the issue without feeling the need to involve myself directly in the solution.
It will not happen again,” she apologized sincerely, despite the words leaving a distaste in her mouth.
The situation felt like a strict reminder that this was merely an arrangement. She thought the lines would blur between them at some point, but it seemed as though his concern with appearances served as an indicator that she was here to be his duchess and not just his wife.
“As long as you understand, then I believe that is fine,” he nodded curtly.
Phoebe exhaled, unable to dispel the heat in her cheeks as she grew increasingly aware of her filthy state.
“If you’ll excuse me, I’d like to go and clean up now.”
Without waiting for his response, she swiftly left the drawing room.
Phoebe made her way to her bed chamber, feeling annoyed by the disconcerting feeling within her that lingered from the conversation.
No matter what she did, she could not seem to shake off the bothersome weight sitting in her chest.
“Your Grace,” Maude smiled kindly from where she stood by Phoebe’s bedroom door with a small basket containing little vials. “We drew you a bath and I brought some scented oils and bars of soap to help you relax.”
It was a thoughtful idea and Phoebe felt sorry to have caused the older woman trouble, so she agreed readily.
“That sounds like a wonderful idea, Maude. Thank you.”
It had been a little unnerving, taking off her clothes and allowing herself to be rinsed off before she settled in the warm water. The sensation and soft scents wafting up with the steam really did help her relax and her mind began to wander as she leaned back against the edge of the bath tub.
Jenny arrived moments later to wash her hair and it took everything in Phoebe to allow herself to be pampered, but once she surrendered her sense of self, it was an enjoyable experience that allowed her mind to wander.
She had imagined things being different between them when they crossed paths after what had happened between them the night before. Phoebe was not sure of what she expected, but it certainly not what had transpired earlier, and it made her feel bad that it was her fault.
Still… had she been so wrong? Was there nothing in him that wanted to do more other that what was necessary to fulfil the agreement between them?
The more she thought about it, the clearer it became that she was vastly unprepared for what was to come. She longed to speak with her brother and sister, missing their comforting presence.
Once the bath was over, Jenny helped her get dressed and Maude informed her that a tray of light refreshments had been prepared for her.
“His Grace also asked me to inform you that an appointment will be made with a modiste and if you would like, she can come to the estate or you can visit her shop at your earliest convenience. She is to make you some new clothes, according to your taste of course,” the housekeeper added.
“How delightful,” Phoebe said, forcing herself to smile. “Please help me extend my gratitude to the duke. I will also thank him myself later.”
The gesture felt misplaced for some reason but Phoebe forced herself not to dwell on it for too long, because it was becoming clear that the standards of the household were not there for her to contest, but rather to obey.
And perhaps that is all she could do in this situation.