Chapter 12
Lissa “It’s only been a little over two months, and you’re already back in my office. This is unheard of. Do you know exactly why you’re here?” Captain Cole asked me.
“No. I have no clue.”
“Trevor is complaining about you after every shift. It’s only been four weeks.”
I blinked at him. “This is a reverse of the last time we worked together.”
“He’s complaining that you’re cheating at all the games and making him look bad.”
“Sir, I’m not cheating on anything. I come to work. Do my job. And go home. What am I cheating at?”
The captain put his head into his hands, then looked up at me. “I don’t even know. Something about loading the truck and mopping the bay.”
“Oh, just a way to pass the time. A little competition to see who can do their side first.”
He stared at me like I had a second head. “You hate those kinds of competitions. You’ve ignored years of Thorne trying to play those games. Why are you competing now?”
I shrugged. “I thought it would help Trevor relax. He’s so uptight these days.”
He sighed. “I know what you’re doing, and I’m not going to stop you. He’s only here on a temporary basis. There is something else I wanted to talk to you about.”
I sat and waited while he shuffled around some papers. “About your request for a new partner, I can probably make that happen now.”
I just stared at him. It took me a minute to remember when I requested a new partner. That’s right, in April, after the failed training I had with Thorne.
“Captain, I know Thorne can annoy me, but we work well together. I’d like to withdraw my request for a new partner. I made that request in anger. Sorry to waste your time.”
“Good. It would have required you to move to another firehouse, and I really didn’t want you to go.” He smiled at me and threw the top sheet of paper away. “Get out of here.”
I nodded and left his office, looking for Thorne. It was at the end of our shift and time to go home.
I found a few guys in the lounge. “Youse guys seen Thorne around?”
“Yeah. Some guy came in and asked him to breakfast. Said to tell you he didn’t need a ride.”
“Oh.” I checked my phone. No text. It felt odd. I really wanted to tell him how his plan to mess with Trevor was working.
I sent off a quick message making sure he didn’t need a ride and went to grab my things before I went home.
Thorne Lissa was in the captain’s office, and I wanted to know why. I waited a few minutes before I walked over to the captain’s office to eavesdrop.
After over a month wearing that boot and using crutches, having the cast off felt like I’d reached a new level of stealth. I used to sneak around my house all the time growing up. It stemmed from having so many siblings growing up. I never knew when I needed to scare my brother or sisters.
I stopped when I could clearly hear the captain.
“Why are you competing now?”
“I thought it would help Trevor relax,” Lissa said. “He’s so uptight these days.”
I held in my laughter. She’d protested using my suggested method, but now she was having fun with it. Seems like she didn’t mind competing at work if she competes against a sore loser.
Captain Cole sighed. “I know what you’re doing, and I’m not going to stop you. He’s only here on a temporary basis. There is something else I wanted to talk to you about.” There was a brief pause. “About your request for a new partner, I can probably make that happen now.”
I stared at the door. New partner? What?
“Thorne, someone’s here for you,” someone called. I silently speed walked as best I could away from the door, not able to hear the rest. Lissa didn’t want to be my partner anymore? Why would she make that request? Didn’t she agree to not let our relationship affect our work and vice versa?
I was still thinking about what I heard when I looked up to see Milo.
“Hello Hawthorne,” he said. He smiled like he did the first few weeks we dated, before his mask began to fall.
“Milo.”
The guys looked at each other behind Milo. I heard a few “Oh, Hawthorne” from them.
“I’d like you to have breakfast with me. Today. To catch up.” Milo wore a tailored suit and shiny shoes. His watch cost more than my monthly rent. He wanted something, but I didn’t know what. I really didn’t want to know.
I looked behind me and thought about what I heard. About your request for a new partner.
“Sure,” I said, hoping breakfast would distract me before I had to reevaluate the last two months of my life. “Let Lissa know I don’t need a ride,” I told the guys in the lounge.
We ended up at a little breakfast place a few blocks away.
We sat in silence as we ate. I’d prefer going to Rise and Shine, but it was undergoing repairs.
This place, however, knew how to plate food, which is probably why Milo picked it.
I couldn’t tell if it tasted good. My mind was still on Lissa and her new partner.
“I want to try again with us,” Milo finally spoke.
“Try what?” I put down my fork. “To belittle me in front of your friends again? Try to make me feel small? Try to fit me into a himbo mold that I’ll never fit into?”
“We were good together. Surely you remember how good we were together.”
I looked around the little bistro wondering if anyone was listening in on this insanity. “When were we good?”
He pursed his lips and looked me up and down. “In bed. We were great in bed together.”
Realization hit me. “So you don’t want to date me, you just want to fuck me?”
“You make it sound so crude.”
I took a deep breath and stood up. “Pass. Not interested. See you around.”
I handed our server some cash, telling them it was only for myself and left.
The next hour, I slowly walked around the area trying to get my head on straight.
One hour wasn’t enough. I couldn’t get Lissa out of my head or understand why she requested a new partner.
Honestly, I was scared to know the answer.
When the Uber dropped me off at my apartment building, I turned toward the elevator and went to my own studio apartment. I’d never walked into a room and felt so alone before. One of the lights near the kitchen was out and the room smelled stale.
Ignoring the thin layer of dust on the shelves, I walked over to my bed and plopped down.
I reached up for my pillow and pulled back the shabby one I only kept to cuddle with.
My other pillows were downstairs. I rolled over and stared at the ceiling that refused to help, and I couldn’t bring myself to go back to Lissa’s place.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and called the one person I always talked to when things were going south. Joe.
“Sup, Thorne?” Joe answered on the second ring. He sounded awake and chipper.
“Hey, you got time to talk?”
“Yeah. What’s up?”
I sighed. “It’s been a weird day and it’s only,” I looked at my watch, “10 a.m.”
“Just got home from work, huh?”
“Yeah. It wasn’t even all work stuff.”
I heard him close a door. Probably to his office. “Start from the beginning.”
“I overheard the captain talking to Lissa. Apparently, she requested a new partner.” My good leg shook, which caused the whole bed to wobble.
“That’s surprising. I thought you two got along.”
“Me too.”
“Aren’t you staying at her place while your ankle heals?”
“I was. I got the air cast off two weeks ago and the elevator is fixed, so I just went straight home today.”
“Wait, weren’t you two carpooling?”
“Well, that’s part two of the story, but I’m more concerned about why Lissa doesn’t want to work with me. We make the best team.”
“When did she make the request?”
“Uh, I don’t know. What if she thinks I won’t be able to do my job because of my ankle? What if she doesn’t want to work together because we’re dating?”
“Back up.” I could almost hear Joe sit up straight. “When did you start dating?”
“Three or four weeks ago.”
“Damnit Thorne. You know better than to date a co-worker.”
“Yeah, but she’s amazing.”
Joe sighed and probably rubbed his hand over his face. “It might be so your relationship doesn’t interfere with your work.”
“But she should have talked to me about it first.”
“Go talk to her now.”
I frowned and sunk into the mattress. “I’m still upset. I don’t want to say something I’ll regret later because of anger.”
“That’s never stopped you from yelling at me when you’re mad.”
“Shut up. You won’t let me walk away from a fight.”
“I—” Joe stopped short. “Fuck you. I hate it when you’re right.”
I laughed. “And I’m always right.”
“If you were always right, you wouldn’t be callin’ me.”
“And I hate you.” I laughed again.
“Here’s my advice. Sleep on it and talk to her tomorrow.”
I could have predicted that advice. He always said to sleep on any decisions or problems I was having.
The only problem was I wanted to talk to her now, but I could feel the tension in my shoulders.
My heart pounded at the thought, and a fear I’d never felt washed over me.
If I talked to her now, I’d say it all wrong.
“Now what else happened?” Joe asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.
“Ugh. Milo came by the station and asked me to breakfast.”
“Is that the guy that wanted you to be eye candy?”
“Yep.”
“And you said no.”
“I said yes. Happened right after I overheard the partner conversation.”
“And what did Milo want?” Joe didn’t hide the disgust from his voice.
“A fuck buddy.”
Joe didn’t answer at first. In fact, I thought the call cut for a second. “And you said no? Right?” Joe finally said.
“I said no. Then walked around for an hour until I came home and called you.”
“Bitch, you had me worried. And I’m delighted I’m your first call.”
“Who else would I call?”
He chuckled. “I’m glad your ankle is doing well enough to let you walk for an hour.”
“I want to work so bad. I’m taking the physical therapy seriously. Lissa says a little too seriously, but she helps me with the exercises no matter how many times I ask.”
“Your voice just went real soft, lover boy. You need to clear this partner thing up with her. I want to hear that tone again. ‘Lissa says.’ My boy’s in love.”
“Shut up.”
“Talk to me like you talk to Lissa,” Joe said in a low sultry voice.
“Gross. Don’t talk to me like you’re Barry White.”
“I’ll do what I want,” he said in the same deep tone.
“I’m hanging up and going to sleep. Bye.”
“Bye lover boy.” Joe ended the call before I could say anything back.
Lissa I finally got a text from Thorne telling me he had a ride, and he’d see me later.
I hopped in my car and started home. I missed the breakfast delivery from Fifi from Rise and Shine Bakery.
Even with her bakery under construction, she still brought over food twice a day.
The rest of the crew ate it all before I could grab my own. Bunch of savages.
My stomach rumbled as I turned the corner and slowed to consider the bistro down the street.
It looked cute but expensive. I could treat myself though and looked for a place to park.
That’s when I saw him through the window.
Me, stopped in the street with my blinker on to parallel park and Thorne sitting at a table with his ex-boyfriend Milo. What is happening right now?
They looked comfortable, like this was a normal everyday thing.
Thorne told me what happened between the two of them after we met that one night.
Why would he agree to have a meal with him?
It didn’t make sense. And why did I feel so…
jealous. Oh, I don’t like feeling jealous.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and abandoned the thought of breakfast.
This feeling needed to go away now. When I got home, I dropped my bags and went into the kitchen, downed two glasses of water, then I grabbed a beer.
My watch said 8:30 a.m. I couldn’t call Chelsea, she was working.
As a teacher, she didn’t have the availability to talk while she worked.
Monica and Jeff were also unavailable this early in the morning.
Maybe I could call my brother, except I haven’t told him anything about Thorne.
I walked the length of my apartment about twelve times while sipping my beer. Finally, I stopped and shook out my arms. He’ll be back after his breakfast. It’s not a big deal. I refuse to be jealous.
After a quick shower, I climbed into bed repeating my new mantra out loud. “I refuse to be jealous. I am not jealous. That is not who I am.”
This afternoon would be better; I told myself as I steadied my breathing. I would talk to Thorne and then we would go to the climbing gym. Maybe play some basketball after dinner.