Dull (Doormat #3)

Chapter One

“Old and dull.”

“Stiff as a board.”

“She’s the backup plan”.

“We planned for this.”

Clarissa sat in her sewing room and stared at the start of Lorenzo’s present she had not touched since the night of that fateful party. She got to learn how he really felt about her, and it had been an eye-opening experience.

She knew her husband wouldn’t have any feelings for her. They were not meant to marry. Life had a horrible way of crapping on everything. Her beautiful, smart, loving, amazing sister was supposed to marry Lorenzo Vitale. Not her. But that had gone horribly wrong.

“You can’t die. Don’t die.”

“I love you, Mouse. You got this. It’s on you now to make the family proud.”

Clarissa kept looking at the suit.

Her sister had been blonde, beautiful, slender.

Everything came natural to her. She was only fifteen, but Clarissa saw what a light she was.

For ten years, Clarissa was the mistake, the daughter their parents wished they didn’t have.

She put her hands on her knees and turned to look at her sewing machine.

“No one wants me, Grandma.”

“Hush, child, you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I’m not pretty enough. I’m not good enough.”

She reached up and touched her face as the memory of her grandmother cupping her face came back into her mind. It had been so long ago, but it felt as if it was right now.

“You’re a beautiful girl, Clarissa. Do not compare yourself to your sister. You have so much to offer.”

What did she have to offer, really? Her husband found her boring and dull.

Getting to her feet, she stepped out of the room and made her way down the small corridor, but she didn’t go to the kitchen. Instead, she went outside, into the cold autumnal air.

Halloween was once again fast approaching. It had been a year since all of this had happened. She couldn’t quite believe a year had passed since she overheard her husband’s true thoughts about her. There was no way it could be lies, could it?

Although, her three friends went through similar experiences. Liana was called a doormat. Mia was childish. Tatiana’s husband had a mistress because she was boring in bed. As for herself, she was boring, dull, and stiff in the bedroom.

She wrapped her arms around herself and stared out into the night sky, hoping for anything.

A sign. Some peace. This pain was too much for her to bear.

Liana and Mia had been able to move on and forgive their husbands.

According to both her friends, the men had lied.

Clarissa didn’t believe Lorenzo had lied.

She believed he’d been telling the truth.

There was nowhere for her to go. Her parents claimed they would be there for her, but the truth was, this marriage was nothing more than a business deal.

It had been agreed between her and Lorenzo’s family when her sister was fifteen years old.

In fact, the night before she died, this engagement had begun.

Clarissa had been ten. And he had to wait ten years for her to be of age for this marriage to take place. A business deal.

She took a deep breath, aware of the guards that were always ordered to give her space and keep patrolling the grounds. There had been an attack within the past year, but Lorenzo had saved them both.

She looked up to the sky. She missed her grandparents.

They were the only ones who understood her.

Clarissa held her dying sister in her arms, trying to stop the blood, but it had soaked through her hands.

For a long time, she couldn’t speak, could barely move.

She remembered her father wanted to have her committed, and if it weren’t for her grandparents, he would have done so.

Sewing and other crafts distracted her. She no longer went out to school but was homeschooled.

For six years after her sister’s death, she lived with her grandparents.

The only reason she went back to her parents was because her grandparents got sick and then passed as well.

Her grandmother always told her to be happy, to love her sewing, and to just take the time to enjoy life. She had tried.

She thought she might enjoy being married, until that night she heard her husband say those horrible words about her to his friends.

“You shouldn’t be out there,” Lorenzo said, surprising her as he stepped out into the cold. He was in the process of removing his jacket and as he moved toward her, she pulled back, not wanting him to touch her.

“Clarissa, you’re going to make yourself ill,” he said.

“I’m fine.”

She couldn’t feel her arms, and she looked toward Lorenzo. It had been hard to marry him. She didn’t know if her sister had any real feelings for him, but it felt like a betrayal.

“I’m just offering you my jacket,” he said. “You’re going to get sick.”

“I won’t.” She pulled away from him, stepped inside the house, and he was close behind her, then grabbed her arm. It wasn’t too tight, but she tugged on her arm. “Get off me.”

“Damn it, Clarissa, when will you stop? When will you see this is pointless?” he asked.

“Pointless? You think all of this is pointless?” she asked.

“You’re doing this to punish me.”

She looked at him. “And you don’t think you need to be punished?”

“I’m your fucking husband!”

“And I’m your wife!” She never raised her voice.

All her life she’d been told to always be amenable.

To never make waves. To be a good little wife.

“But you didn’t think about that when you told your friends how disappointed you were.

Where was my respect that night?” She tugged her arm out from his grip.

“It meant nothing,” he said. “It was just a bunch of friends having a fucking joke.”

She let out a hysterical laugh and then started to clap her hands together.

“How funny you were. I’m sure you’re all mighty proud of yourself.

After all, we’re just women. We have no feelings.

We’re told what to do and so long as we make no waves with our husbands, it will be fine.

I’m sorry I can’t be stiff as a fucking statue out of the bedroom.

” Clarissa then bowed down as if in servitude. “Forgive me, my lord and master.”

Again, she didn’t know where this came from. But without another word, she spun around and ran back to her sewing room. He didn’t follow, but then he never followed. She flicked the lock on the door and collapsed against it.

She was trapped in a loveless marriage in Hell, and there was no chance of escape. In the corner, mocking her, was the suit she was so close to finishing. She should tear it up, destroy it, but that represented months of techniques she painstakingly learned.

Tears filled her eyes, and she wrapped her arms around herself, not wanting to be here. Not wanting to even think about everything that had happened.

****

Lorenzo stood outside of Clarissa’s sewing space.

No one knew her grandmother had approached him.

After her sister’s unexpected death, he wanted to end the agreement.

However, he was told that wasn’t going to happen, and he would be married to Clarissa, the young sister.

He hadn’t given it much thought, and seeing as it was a business deal his father had made, there was no escape for him.

He spent the ten years of their engagement enjoying women.

Not once did he take a moment to see Clarissa.

He did so on purpose. If he saw Clarissa as a ten-year-old girl, there was no way he would be able to go through with a marriage and have children with her.

So, he stayed away and would never have the memory of her as a child.

Before her grandmother passed, she came to see him in this very house and told him Clarissa was a special woman and she would need her space.

If he wanted to have a good marriage, he would need to provide a means for Clarissa to handle everything.

At first, he thought the sewing room was ridiculous, but her grandmother wouldn’t be swayed.

So, four years before they were set to marry, she helped him create this very fucking room that kept his wife so far away from him.

He appeased the older woman because she’d been sick.

His father had wanted him to marry Clarissa when she turned eighteen, but he refused. He met Clarissa on their wedding day, and seeing her walk down the aisle, he’d been completely blown away.

There were many people who claimed Clarissa was the ugly sister, the dull one.

She had long, brown hair, a beautiful smile, with full lips, and she had curves.

The wedding dress had molded to her curves, and the instant hit of attraction had shocked him.

He never expected to be attracted to his wife.

On the day of his wedding, he got a letter from Clarissa’s grandmother, who asked for him to be patient with his bride.

To give her time. It was rather detailed and yet, it had left out a significant part.

He didn’t know that Clarissa, at ten years old, had been there, holding her dying sister in her arms. No one had arrived on time.

She held her sister until it was too late, and even afterward.

No one told him. He learned that through listening in on a conversation with the girls, which explained everything.

After he learned the truth, he went to her parents and discovered so much pain about Clarissa.

Sewing and knitting was her therapy. It was how she was able to deal with the memory of her dead sister.

When she was in her sewing room, it meant she was having a hard time.

He put his hand on the door as he listened to her sob.

All his life, he’d been good at saying and doing the right thing. At the snap of his fingers, women would fall for him. He didn’t have to try hard to get pussy.