Chapter Three
Several days later, Clarissa sat around the lunch table, sipping her water.
There was no way she was drinking alcohol again.
The last two times she had done so were a bit of a blur, and also, she didn’t want to have to ask Lorenzo for help.
Although she never asked him for help, he was there to hold her hair out of the way as she vomited everything up.
She didn’t want to think about Lorenzo. The last few days had been surreal.
He didn’t just spend the first day in her sewing room, but for the last couple of days, he had come into her sewing room, and it had been so much fun.
She couldn’t even recall the last time it had been this much fun.
He made several rectangle placemats, and he’d put them all around the house, to add a splash of color.
Next, she got him to make a tote bag, and once he finished, he actually struck a pose for her, holding the thing. He enjoyed being in her sewing room.
Lorenzo also loved to cook. She hadn’t told him she enjoyed it as well, and was often in the kitchen with her grandmother, and that her favorite person made the best chocolate pecan pie. One day, she might make the recipe for him.
At night, she would sit to listen to a movie, and of course, Lorenzo now joined her, and she had even started him knitting.
In a strange way, they were developing a friendship.
Other than the three women she’d gotten close to, and they formed their special bond, she’d never had friends growing up. Her sister had been her only friend.
Tatiana was the first of her friends to arrive. She always put on a brave face, a cold one, but Clarissa knew the other woman was hurting a great deal.
She slumped down, and turned to look at Clarissa. “Hey,” she said.
“Hey.”
“You know, life sucks sometimes,” Tatiana said.
“I know.”
Tatiana groaned. “Of course you know. You had that thing with your sister and I’m an asshole.” She pressed her face to her arms. “I’m sorry.”
Clarissa didn’t even flinch and she reached out, attempting to offer her friend comfort, but Tatiana sighed and leaned against her. “I’m a terrible friend.”
“You’re not a terrible friend. We all have different levels of what we deal with.”
“But I’ve just got an asshole husband. You actually suffered—”
“Don’t,” Clarissa said. “Don’t do that. Don’t attempt to compare that kind of stuff. You were starting to fall for Emilio. He hurt you, and I’m not sitting here thinking any less.”
“How?” Tatiana asked. “You literally held your dying sister and you were a kid yourself.”
Clarissa shrugged. “I know there are people who have suffered worse and less, but it doesn’t change what people go through.” She gave Tatiana’s arm a gentle squeeze.
“You’re a good friend.”
The truth was, Clarissa didn’t have the first clue how to be a good friend. “Thank you. Are things still not going great between you and Emilio?”
“It’s ... no, no, it’s not. I want to get a divorce and we can’t get one.” Tatiana sighed. “It sucks. I wish I could go back in time and not think about any of that. I wished I never heard what he said, or that we were not even listening, and none of this happened.”
Clarissa knew exactly what she meant. It had been a rough year. At least Liana and Mia had been able to find some solace with their partners and were both expecting children. One day, Clarissa wanted to be a mother, but first, she wanted to be a wife and fall in love.
Part of her wanted to fall in love with Lorenzo, but she also couldn’t help that he was supposed to be married to her sister.
Before overhearing what he truly thought of her, she had been falling for him.
How could she not fall for him? He’d been sweet, kind, caring, and loving.
He’d been everything she had hoped for, and although the sex had been terrifying and dull, she figured it would all work out in the end. At least, that was what she hoped.
“Do you know what sucks?” Tatiana asked.
“What?”
“I was falling in love with him.” And her lip started to wobble. “Doesn’t that make me a fool?”
“No, it doesn’t make you a fool at all.”
Tatiana laughed, sat back, and took a deep breath. “I refuse to cry. I do not want to keep crying about this, but it hurts so much.” She grabbed a piece of tissue out of her bag and dabbed at her eyes. “I just want all of this to be over.”
Clarissa agreed.
Mia and Liana joined them, and she offered both women a smile. Mia was starting to look heavily pregnant, and Liana hadn’t long given birth to a baby boy. He was not there today, so she figured he was with his dad, Diego.
The moment they all arrived, they exchanged kisses on the cheek, and greetings. The waiter came, and Mia ordered herself an ice water. Clarissa went for a coffee, as did Tatiana, and Liana ordered herself a soda.
“So, how is everyone?” Liana asked.
There was a round of “good,” and Clarissa offered them all a smile and agreed. She knew how to put on a brave face and play the part. It was what her grandmother had taught her to do. Her parents hadn’t liked how unpredictable she was, that was what they had called it.
“How is little Diego, and we’re talking about your little boy?” Tatiana asked.
They talked about Liana’s new baby. Mia complained and raved about how amazing and awful the pregnancy was.
When it came to Tatiana and Emilio, she just shut them all down.
Then, Mia looked toward her. “How are you and Lorenzo?”
Clarissa hated being the center of attention. She couldn’t help but tense up. “It’s ... the same ... ish.”
“Ish?” Mia asked, and Clarissa saw the other two women perk up, and they repeated the word “ish.”
“I don’t know how to explain it, but we’re talking and that is progress, right?” she asked. She felt her nerves start to build. She didn’t want to be talking about her relationship.
“Does that mean Lorenzo’s actually talking to you?” Mia asked.
Clarissa nodded. “And we’ve spent some time together.”
“This is good news,” Liana said.
“How is it?” Clarissa asked.
“Look, I hate to be the ... bearer of bad news for all of us. We know what we all heard, and it fucking sucked,” Liana said.
“Trust me, I get it. I ran right to my dad and brother, and I wanted to end the relationship. He called me a freaking doormat.” She held her hands out.
“But we’re not getting out of this unless we’re dead.
We’re married women, and although we’re in modern day times, we all know the moment we get that divorce, none of us have anything to offer.
None of us are virgins. We’ve been married to respectable Capos.
Not all the men in the Colombo Mafia are like our men.
Some of them are cruel. They hurt people.
Sure, our men hurt us in their own ways, but they’ve not physically hurt us. ”
“You’re telling us to just let it go?” Tatiana asked.
“No, not let it go, but maybe give them both a chance. Help me, Mia, come on, you forgave Giovanni just as I did Diego.”
Mia held her hands up. “It took a long road to get there. I didn’t just wake up and decide to forget about it. It took a lot of work, and he had to prove himself to me.”
Clarissa didn’t want to hear any more. “I need a drink.”
It was easy for them to say. They had gotten out of the other side. Liana had been called a doormat, and it was easy for her, because she was anything but that. Mia was referred to as being childish and immature, but she was not that. She embraced her fun side, so the insult didn’t freaking stick.
Old, boring, and dull, as well as stiff as a board—exactly what Clarissa was.
She loved to sew. She loved to knit. She was not a social person.
She didn’t know what to do during sex. She did what was expected, what she had been told to do—just to lay there and let her husband deal with it.
That was what her mother told her to do, and it was all she knew.
It was okay for Liana and Mia, their insults didn’t stick. For Clarissa, they were so accurate, it made her feel sick to her stomach.
****
Diego hung up his cell phone and turned toward the table where they were playing poker. “That was Liana,” he said.
Without a word, all three men put the cards on the table. It wasn’t actual money they were playing with. It was how they passed the time, talked business, and had a little fun. The money didn’t play a part.
Giovanni let out a laugh. “At least I know this time it’s not my wife who is drinking.”
“It’s Clarissa and Tatiana,” Diego said.
Of course it was. The two women who were not pregnant, nor breastfeeding.
Diego was mightily proud of the fact his wife breastfed, and of course, Giovanni loved that his wife was pregnant with a strong baby. They were two smug bastards and it pissed him off.
Getting to his feet, he wasn’t pissed off at Clarissa, though, as it meant she would be a little more talkative. The alcohol helped lower those walls she kept putting in place, and he had to keep knocking down.
They left the casino and made their way out, taking the small walk to the café where the girls liked to do lunch. He checked the time to see it was a little after five. He’d dropped Clarissa off at exactly noon, giving her plenty of time.
The moment he stepped inside the café, he saw Clarissa and Tatiana on top of the table. Their guards were close by, and Liana and Mia were not helping matters as they had their cell phones out and were playing music.
This was not helping, although Lorenzo took a moment to watch his wife. Without her walls up, she was a sight to behold. Her long brown hair that she usually had pulled back into a bun or clip was out, and she was using that clip to lip-synch into. Her hair looked wild and had a natural curl to it.
Tatiana still had her hair up, but she was dancing crazily, and her jacket was off. Clarissa wore a dress, and it looked like she had put a hole in her tights.
“There’s my cheating hubby right now,” Tatiana said. She let out a whoop and a wave. “Hello, cheating hubby.”