Chapter Four
“I’m never drinking again,” Clarissa said.
“Maybe we should stop saying that,” Lorenzo said.
She groaned. “This time, I mean it.”
“Perhaps it would be better if you actually just stick to one glass, or two at the most.”
There was no way she was touching alcohol again. With Liana giving her advice, and the guilt weighing so heavily on her, everything just felt like it was consuming her. She couldn’t handle it, and she didn’t want to have to handle it. It felt like it was all a little too much of everything.
The sickness stopped, and Lorenzo must be getting used to this, as a toothbrush was already set up and waiting.
She quickly brushed her teeth, and Lorenzo was there, brushing her hair.
After brushing her teeth, there was a small glass of water and two pain pills for the headache she had.
Then, after the pills, mouthwash. Clarissa didn’t care because in that moment, she needed both and accepted them gratefully.
She took a swig, and then turned to Lorenzo.
“I’ll let you get changed, and I’ll order breakfast.”
He left.
They were not back home, as they had come to the city, Liana and Diego’s domain, and were staying in a hotel.
She missed her own home and her sewing machine. This is why she shouldn’t drink. It left her open and feeling raw. She didn’t know what she had said to Lorenzo last night, but she always opened up to him and was always honest. She didn’t want to keep being honest. It hurt too damn much.
She stepped into the bedroom and found some clothes on the bed. A pair of pants she had made a few months ago, as well as a blouse. She happened to sport mostly a handmade wardrobe, which she was quite proud of.
As she reached for the lingerie, which she hadn’t made but was on her list of projects, she recalled the argument her mother and grandmother had.
“I can’t believe you’re being serious. My daughter is going to have a proper wardrobe. You don’t expect me to allow her to wear that stuff she made.”
“Clarissa is able to create her own clothes.”
“I forbid it. She is going to marry Lorenzo Vitale. That is her destiny, and he will not have a wife that looks like someone off the street. She needs to be—”
“Her skills are improving every single day. If you expect her to keep your business deal with this Vitale, then you will allow her to keep sewing. If you do not, and you push me on this, tell your husband he will have no business deal. Clarissa will be lost to you all.”
She stayed silent.
Clarissa had sat in the sitting room of her parents’ house while her mother belittled her efforts to deal with everything. Her grandmother refused to back down. After her grandmother passed, she expected all of her sewing to be taken away. That never happened.
She overheard her brother and father talking—the bonus about no longer speaking and being insignificant was that no one listened for you.
Within her grandparents’ will, it was stated that if Clarissa’s hobby was taken away, all funds would revert to Clarissa, and she wouldn’t need to marry.
She could walk away a free woman. Her family couldn’t have that. So, she kept her sewing hobby.
She was never questioned, and as long as she was able to sew, she would marry Lorenzo. Part of her wished they had pushed, that they had attempted to take her sewing away. Instead, she was in a marriage to a man she was not supposed to be with.
She secured the last button of her blouse and stepped out into the main part of the hotel room. It was a luxury hotel, and the rooms tended to feel more like apartments without kitchens. However, there was a small section with a dining table.
Lorenzo was there, putting out several sealed trays of food. After drinking, she tended to be hungry. Throwing up did that to her.
“Coffee, waffles, omelet, and sausage,” he said.
She found it really sweet that he remembered her order, and she offered him a smile. “Thank you.”
She walked toward the table and her stomach still felt uneasy, but she made it. From past experiences, she knew there was not going to be any more sickness. She just needed to eat something good.
Opening up the first sealed tray, she saw the sausage and omelet, and she didn’t hesitate as she was starving. Lorenzo joined her, taking a bite of one of the sausages. The food was good. The moment she started to eat, it helped settle her stomach.
“Clarissa, I want to talk to you,” Lorenzo said.
She froze and turned to look at him. “What about?”
“About what you said last night.”
“I was drunk.”
“So, you don’t think you should have married me and I belonged to your sister?” he asked.
This made her freeze. She couldn’t believe she had actually said that. She stared at him, a little taken aback, not really sure what she should say.
“Ugh,” she said.
“Don’t worry.”
She was a little worried. This wasn’t good.
“I know what you think. Your sister and I were engaged to be married when she was fifteen. I never met your sister,” Lorenzo said.
This surprised her. She thought he would have at least met her sister. “Why not?”
“I didn’t want to.”
This made her frown. “Even though everyone who saw her said she was beautiful.”
“She was fifteen, and I’m not ... I’m not a man who falls for girls that young,” he said.
“Oh,” Clarissa said. This made her frown. “What?”
“You do realize the reason I didn’t come to see you was because you were a kid, and there was no way I would be able to go through with the marriage, don’t you?” he asked.
“No,” Clarissa said. “I thought you didn’t want to see me because you didn’t want to be married to me.”
Lorenzo sat back. “Your sister was fifteen. You were fucking ten.” He shook his head.
“Look, I know some men are all into the young women and all that, but I’m not.
I didn’t want to have to do my duty, thinking of you as a kid.
I had to know you as a woman. It’s why I waited until you were twenty years old. ”
“I had no idea,” she said. This was news to her. Her parents had told her he didn’t want her. She filled in the blanks by assuming he was disappointed it was her.
He laughed. “Fuck me. I never met your sister, and yes, we were meant to marry, but I was not your sister’s.”
“But if nothing happened to her, you would be married to her. Trust me, she was beautiful and nice and kind and you would have loved her.”
“I want you,” he said.
“You can’t know that if you’ve never met her.”
“I know you,” he said.
She shook her head.
“You need to stop feeling guilty. This marriage was going to happen, even if you had another sister and something happened to you.”
Clarissa knew that. Her parents had told her that.
“You’re not doing anything wrong.”
It still felt like a betrayal.
“Tell me, did your sister ever ... talk about me?”
Clarissa shook her head. “No, she didn’t.” The truth was, there was no time. They learned of her engagement a few days before the incident. “Can we not talk about this?” She didn’t want to think about what happened.
“No, we don’t have to talk about it. However, when you’re ready, we can.”
She looked toward Lorenzo and was surprised he was willing to let this go. Usually, she wasn’t allowed to let things go. Her parents would always force her to go out of her comfort zone, even when she wasn’t ready.
The truth was, she missed her sister so much.
She’d been her best friend for the first ten years of her life.
The connection she had with Liana, Mia, and Tatiana wasn’t the same.
She wasn’t the same woman. They didn’t know she was once talkative and happy.
There was a time you would catch her in the garden playing around rather than in a sewing room.
But she wouldn’t change who she had become.
All she would change was the fact that her sister wasn’t here.
****
There had been a lot of revelations the previous night.
Possibly more than Lorenzo could handle.
His wife talking about being stiff in the bedroom because she didn’t know what to do.
That was what she’d been told to do. Her mother had never seemed like a caring person.
Clearly, Clarissa’s grandparents had taken care of her the most, and the subject of sex hadn’t come up, or what it was supposed to be like in the bedroom.
He needed to go slow, but for now, sex would come. They didn’t have much of a choice, seeing as they were now married, and there was no way they were going to get out of this with divorce.
“Where are we going?” Clarissa asked.
“You’ll see.”
He’d taken her out of the hotel, and before they headed home, he wanted to take her shopping. He’d done some research last night and even this morning to find places he wanted to go.
One of his trusted men was driving, and he held Clarissa’s hand so she felt safe. He didn’t know if his touch even comforted her, but he was trying his best. He had to keep learning with her, and he was more than willing to do it.
She seemed nervous, and once again, he offered her as much comfort as he could.
“You’re not taking me away to kill me, are you?” she asked.
He chuckled. “Not at all. Trust me, you’re going to love this surprise.” At least, he assumed she was going to love it.
Lorenzo spotted the first shop up ahead, and his man pulled into the nearest available parking spot. He opened the car door, and Clarissa shuffled across the seat and didn’t let go of his hand. He moved into place behind her, guiding her up the street to where he wanted to take her.
They got a few looks from passing strangers, but most of them quickly turned the other way. They might know who he was, or be worried of who he was associated with. He, frankly, didn’t give a fuck. This was for his wife.
“Surprise,” he said, removing the blindfold he’d placed over her eyes.
Clarissa blinked a couple of times and then looked up at the shop, and he saw the moment it registered where he’d brought her.
“A fabric and haberdashery shop?” she asked.
“Yep, I figured it has been a long time since you came here, so it’s only fair I bring you shopping.”