Chapter Twenty-Two #5
And hearing that, all of the bastard’s girls except for Valenica looked down at my crotch while the bastard himself looked like he had no idea how to reply.
“Mm,” Lupa said, clinging to my arm while deliberately making a show of pressing her breasts around it. “Master’s too big and cums too much. Almost drowned.”
Rosie nodded and placed her hand against her cheek before letting out a little sigh. “Right? He’s so troublesome, Lupa. I never thought I’d get myself a husband who can cum that much, over and over again, who doesn’t even fully fit between my boobs.”
“Master’s dick is the true final dungeon boss. I really like when he bites me, too.”
“I still can’t get enough of how he spends so long milking me every morning.
Geez, he already makes me pass out from pleasure at night, then he makes me pass out again right after I wake up.
What a brute. You’d think he’d show me a little mercy after making me cum dozens of times taking my virginity, but nooooo. ”
The whispers shifted.
“A man who actually milks a holstaur? I thought men hated that?”
“Did she say… he bites her? Why would a guy bite a girl, especially a canid? There’s no way she’s telling the truth… right?”
“Hey, she had to be exaggerating when she said her mouth is too full to scream, didn’t she? I’ve never heard of a man that big before… that’s like, the kind of thing you would see in hentai, not real life.”
“Dozens of times? Is—is that even possible?!”
That was one way to find out that hentai existed in this world.
I also had to admit that I felt pretty embarrassed… but beyond satisfied at the same time.
Valencia stepped toward us while shouting, “Quit your bullshit! No man is that big! Are you trying to humiliate my Master by spreading lies?!”
Rosie’s smug expression somehow turned even more smug as she asked Valencia, “Why would I lie about something that can easily be proven?”
Valencia was the only one of the girls who didn’t take the bait to look at my crotch again.
She really was a ride or die kind of girl.
If that bastard already had Valencia on his side… there was no killing him without killing her, because she was exactly the type who would spend her life trying to get revenge no matter how much time passed.
However, even if I could respect her loyalty…
She was kind of an idiot.
Valencia, with a loud voice full of bravado, proudly declared, “Unlike this weakling who spreads lies about her man, I’ll have everyone know my Master is almost three inches!
And he can even cum twice a night! Enough to fill a spoon!
” Valencia crossed her arms over her chest, doing her best to imitate how smug Rosie looked.
“How’s that? Are you jealous of the truth when all you have are lies? ”
I didn’t want to body shame.
I really, really didn’t.
There was nothing wrong with men whose cocks were around three inches. Nothing at all. They were my brothers in arms who I would defend from anyone who tried to degrade them over their size.
That being said.
It was really, really hard not to laugh, and my face probably showed it seeing as how that bastard turned even more red than he already was once he looked at me.
Rosie was doing her best not to laugh, too.
But then there was Lupa.
Lupa used her pointer finger and thumb to estimate three inches before holding it against her arm in comparison. “Mm? So little,” she said, completely serious, not even trying to play along or anything at that point. “Too tiny to cuddle with.”
The deadpan way she said it was the finishing blow to me and Rosie while also stunlocking Valencia into not knowing what to say, like she was trying to figure out if it was even possible or not in the first place in her head.
“I—I think we’re good here,” I said, trying not to laugh so hard I was about to cry.
“Y-yeah,” Rosie said, sounding the exact same. “Let’s go home. I’m starting to feel bad for his… little thing at this point.”
I felt sorry for all my brothers in this world and back on Earth who were around three inches, or even smaller, but I knew this bastard was the type of guy who would absolutely be insecure about his size, and there was no problem body shaming someone like that who admitted he wanted to kill me, right?
It was totally justified body shaming.
Of course, the rest of the girls in the room were back to whispering.
“What—what did she mean by comparing it to her arm?! Is she saying he’s as big as her arm?!”
“Cuddle with?! A dick so big that it can be cuddled with?! There’s no way that’s real!”
“How could anyone call three inches little? Isn’t that average, almost kind of big?”
This world was so absurd.
But I loved it even more after that.
And the real finishing blow didn’t even land yet.
“Hey, bastard!” the real bastard shouted at me. “Don’t—don’t you walk away from me! I’m not done with you! Talk to me like a man instead of letting your bitches—”
“Hey,” Rosie said to me, “Sev.” She made sure to put emphasis on my name while being extra loud with it as if she wanted to make sure everyone heard my name. “Can we hold hands on the way home?”
“Obviously,” I answered. “You think I could resist holding hands with such a beautiful girl?” I interlocked my fingers with her, prompting Rosie to happily snuggle up against my side while holding hands.
“Master. Hand,” Lupa said.
“Of course.” I did the exact same with Lupa.
It was the ultimate finisher to the combo.
The girls of this world—of course they were so damn horny when 95% of the population was female with the remaining 5% barely being able to tolerate women while having the exact opposite of sexual interests.
The vast, vast majority of women everywhere were ridiculously pent up and desperate on a biological level.
But what came after that biological need was filled?
My understanding was that most women, even in relationships with men, might have been close to sexually satisfying themselves… but almost none of them were emotionally satisfied, too.
As far as the women were concerned, something like a blowjob was mutually beneficial and men were the selfish ones for not liking them. They both got to feel pleasure from it. Even if men preferred vaginal, many of them still accepted blowjobs even if it was out of obligation.
But handholding?
Like they said, handholding was the lewdest act of them all.
A pure, wholesome, innocent display of love.
There were men who tolerated getting their dicks sucked, but how many of them were willing to hold hands with a girl?
How many of them complimented their girls, especially in public, without any sexual reason to do so?
“Have I mentioned how much I love you two?” I asked Rosie and Lupa.
And how many men actually loved their harems?
“Hehe, not enough!” Rosie answered, acting extra spoiled by resting her head against my shoulder.
How many girls got to feel spoiled by their man?
“Master, I want a belly rub when we get home,” Lupa said.
“I’ll give you one for as long as you want,” I replied.
How many girls got to selfishly ask for belly rubs rather than be afraid to ever ask for anything more than permission to suck a dick every other week or so?
I satisfied my girls in far more ways than only sex.
But I did also make sure they were sexually satisfied.
And far better than that bastard ever could satisfy his own girls going by how they looked at my crotch.
The gossiping went wild after that. It was mostly the same except about romantic things rather than sexual things, but there were a few voices that stood out to me.
“Sev? Is that the same Sev who beat the first new boss in years?! They must be that party!”
“Sev… white hair, a total hottie… he has to be the same guy who gave a crying girl a legendary drop from a dungeon. I didn’t believe he was real, but… a god amongst mortals exists before us…”
“I want to carve his name into my skin.”
… alright, maybe that last one didn’t count, but those first two made it obvious why Rosie made sure to say my name so loudly.
Most of the whispers were still in favor of the bastard back there since… I was too unbelievable for most of the girls to believe what Rosie and Lupa said before, but at least some of them shifted to praising me.
Meanwhile, the shittiest content creator for Custom Dungeon World shouted some more nonsense back where we left him, but whatever shit he was vomiting from his mouth didn’t matter as we left the cathedral.
What mattered was how, as soon as we made it outside, Rosie and Lupa both seriously tightened their grips on my hands, and their happy, peaceful expressions were replaced with murderous rage.
“You two have no idea how happy you make me,” I said before turning them both so that they were in front of me, and then kissing each one of them. “Thank you. I love you.”
“I love you too, Sev,” Rosie said with a genuine smile. “But I’m still furious, and no amount of being cute is going to make me not want to shove my mace up his ass, okay?”
“O-okay.”
“Rosie, not enough,” Lupa said. “Cover him in honey and leave him in the woods after.”
… I was pretty sure I just watched Rosie cheer up more from what Lupa said than the kiss I gave her.
“That’s a great idea,” Rosie said. “It’d be a shame if we found a giant pincer ant colony to drop him off in front of.”
“Mm. And give him potions so he stays alive longer and doesn’t pass out.”
…
The rest of our walk home consisted of the two, cute, otherwise wholesome girls I fell in love with talking about how to gruesomely torture a man to absolutely maximize the suffering he felt.
Was being happy the appropriate response to that?
Because it made me extremely happy.
Also a little scared.
And horny.
I was so messed up.
I explained everything to everyone once we made it back to the house. Frolin and Ailsa joined in on listening since they were home, too. I’d tell Stella about it later once she got home.
“So… he was like a streamer,” Rosie said. “But a really annoying one.”