Chapter Four
T he day passed with them lounging in bed, talking and stealing sweet kisses. It was the best day of Tarek’s life. He wanted to be embarrassed by how quickly he had blown, and his panic attack afterward, but Portland’s constant praise made it impossible. Tarek couldn’t say he had been disappointed.
“Do you have any big dreams for yourself, or have you always had a passion for poker?”
Tarek rolled his eyes and laughed.
Portland squeezed him. “I’m serious. What do you want to be when you grow up?”
A huff burst from Tarek. “Sir, are you insinuating I’m not grown?”
“You know better. Why are you avoiding the question?”
Tarek bit his bottom lip.
Their feet brushed beneath the covers.
Portland leaned away a hair and studied Tarek’s face. “You’re embarrassed. Why are you embarrassed?”
Tarek shrugged. “Okay, but you can’t laugh.”
“I won’t.” His smile said otherwise, but Tarek decided to let it go.
Tarek took a deep breath. “Okay, so. When I was like thirteen fourteen—somewhere around there—I was in this DND club. I wrote all our campaigns.” Despite himself, Tarek couldn’t help but smile. “It was pretty impressive, if I do say so myself. Everything was perfectly organized. I had everything in PDF form and printed out for each session.” Tarek shrugged again. He checked Portland’s expression to see if he was ready to laugh yet. Portland merely looked interested. Tarek kept going. “Anyhow, this led me to start writing bigger worlds. From there, whole stories spawned. Once I had about five or six, I realized they could be enjoyed as a serial or broken up into campaigns. So, like always, I had everything all organized and a single copy printed into a hardback. I still write and just kind of play with the same world, but I guess that one book is sort of my dream board in a way. That’s what I want for real. I want someone to magically see my work, print them exactly like that one, and for them to end up in clubs all over the world for players to enjoy. I want people enjoying my campaigns and getting lost in my worlds. It’s a stupid and impossible dream, but that’s the only future I ever fantasize about. It certainly isn’t poker. But a game is a game, right?” Tarek chuckled. Even he heard the discomfort in it.
“Have you ever researched how to achieve that dream?”
Heat crawled up Tarek’s face. He cleared his throat. “Achieving that dream would mean people actually reading what I wrote, and that sounds terrifying. I’m a candy ass. I can’t handle criticism.” Another uncomfortable laugh escaped him. He couldn’t stop. They needed to stop talking about him. “What about you? Did you always dream of being the CEO of the largest bank on the east coast, or do you also have a humiliating story?”
Portland didn’t laugh the way he’d hoped. His humor wasn’t saving him today. “It takes a lot of talent to write. I had to write a ton of essays in college. It sucked. People don’t realize how hard it is to string thousands of words together in an interesting way. You should be proud.”
Secretly, he was, but there was no future in his writing. “Can we talk about you? I don’t need you thinking I’m a nerd.”
A sexy laugh rumbled from Portland. “Baby, you have a D20 tattooed on your back.”
Tarek felt his blush return. “You know what a D20 is, so there’s that, I guess.”
“I don’t live under a rock.”
Portland’s smile was everything. He was so incredibly handsome, and more than Tarek expected. Tarek flattened his palm against Portland’s chest and gently rolled him onto his back. He touched his lips to the corner of Portland’s mouth as he straddled Portland’s body. Tarek teased Portland’s lips apart. Their tongues brushed before Tarek pulled away again and went back to toying with his lips. His bottom lip was the perfect amount of plump for Tarek to nibble. Portland’s nipples were hard. Tarek stroked one, enjoying the way it felt beneath his fingertips. Portland’s hands ran up his back. Tarek almost hissed at the way his body immediately responded. He kissed a path to Portland’s ear, lightly biting his earlobe.
“I’ve never been this happy.” Tarek wondered if the confession was a mistake. Maybe someone like Portland would want someone a little less needy. Someone who led him on a chase. Tarek couldn’t help it. He felt more than he wanted.
“That’s good. I plan to keep you that way.”
Tarek smiled against Portland’s neck as he kissed him. Portland sounded breathless. Tarek planned to keep him that way. He bit, kissed, and sucked his way down Portland’s torso. The shaky way Portland breathed was music to Tarek’s ears. He palmed Portland’s erection and stroked.
“I’m not as young as you.”
Tarek swallowed Portland’s cock, putting a stop to all the nonsense. He didn’t expect anything in return. Tarek had surpassed the need to blow. He needed an outlet for the fucking happiness that choked him. When Salem had named possible candidates for Tarek to seduce, Tarek had been less than enthusiastic about this adventure. He was sick of being alone, but Salem insisted he find a wealthy man. No sense in wasting his youth on love when security meant so much more, according to Salem. Tarek assumed he knew. After all, Salem was now free to enjoy whomever he pleased with no worries about his future. Tarek didn’t imagine that kind of lightning struck twice. He wasn’t likely to be in the same boat. So Tarek had secretly hoped for love and money. It was possible he was on his way to both. A boy had to eat.
A chuckle rumbled from Tarek at his thoughts.
Portland’s fingers dove into Tarek’s hair as a moan filled the air. “Fuck, Tarek. Just like that.”
Tarek settled in to tease and please. He took his time. This relationship was exactly what he wanted. He needed Portland to understand it.
Sweat coated Portland’s skin. He wondered if he would die like this. Tarek had sucked his dick so long and perfectly Portland thought his heart might give out. Each time he nearly came, Tarek would move away, denying him his orgasm. It was hell and heaven. Nothing existed except Tarek’s mouth. Goddamn. Portland wanted to keep him.
The tension built again, winding tighter than ever before. “Please? Fuck. Please?”
Tarek chuckled around his dick.
Portland flew apart. He forgot to breathe. His lungs seized as he shook. The level of ecstasy that roared through him was unlike anything he had ever experienced, and that said a lot. He had thought there was nothing left to experience. Tarek had proved him wrong. He was beautiful in every way.
Tarek kissed his stomach.
Portland fought for air like he had run a marathon. “Give me a minute and I’ll return the favor.” He gasped out the words between struggling breaths.
He felt Tarek’s lips shape into a smile against his skin. “You’re fine. I just want to hold you.” His kisses moved upward until he rested on Portland’s chest with his ear pressed against him. “You have a nice heartbeat.”
It was such an odd thing to say. He imagined everyone's heart sounded the same. But it was an incredibly sweet thing to say, nonetheless. The claim still made Portland smile. “Tell me what you want. I’ll buy you anything.”
He felt Tarek shake with silent laughter.
“Why are you laughing? I’m being serious. You deserve a prize after that.”
Tarek laughed harder.
Portland found himself smiling. He supposed he did sound ridiculous—like he tried paying off a whore. Portland’s smile disappeared. “There I go again, trying to buy you. I hope you know that’s not how I meant it. You deserve beautiful things because it’s you. I have money. That’s all. I’m not trying to bribe you or purchase favors or whatever. Fuck.” He was rambling and couldn’t stop. “I don’t know what I’m saying, but I hope you do.”
Tarek pushed his way higher and claimed Portland’s lips, cutting off the spew of nonsense.
Portland’s muscles relaxed. Tarek understood. He knew this was more… maybe. Goddamn it. Tarek had to know it was more. He cupped Tarek’s face and held him away so he could look into his eyes. “I don’t want you to see anyone else. For once, I need to be with someone who wants only me.”
“Lucky you. You’re the only person I want.” Tarek made the claim, wearing the sweetest of smiles. It vanished. “What if I don’t want you seeing anyone else either?” He visibly swallowed. “I don’t think I could handle that.”
Portland kissed the tip of Tarek’s nose. “You definitely have nothing to worry about. Not only have I always been a one-man guy, but I’ve been single a long goddamn time and haven’t found anyone who makes me feel the way you do.”
A shy-looking smile touched Tarek’s lips. “Oh. Okay.”
Fuck. Sometimes he threw off such an innocent vibe. It was at such odds with the version of Tarek that had just sucked his dick. Portland had to taste the purity on Tarek’s tongue. While Tarek might not be virtuous, he sure as hell wasn’t anything like Portland. His chest hurt as their tongues brushed. If they did this for real, one day, Tarek would see the real him. He would find out all Portland’s dirty secrets. Portland didn’t know if Tarek could or would look past his faults.
Determination filled Portland’s heart. He would give Tarek the world. Portland would spoil the fuck out of him, showering him with so much affection and gifts, he wouldn’t be able to leave. He would trap him—like a web. Portland would make sure Tarek couldn’t get away. This time, he wouldn’t fail. Tarek wasn’t like Court. There was a slight insecurity in him he tried to hide behind boldness. Portland saw the real him, though. He knew exactly how to play this. Tarek wouldn’t get away.