Chapter 30 Gabriel
“You’re acting dumb,” Rhiannon says.
“Am I, though?”
She nods her head, setting down the spoon she was using to help feed my squirmy niece before wiping her messy face with practiced efficiency that can only come from being an experienced mom. Then she lifts Piper out of her chair and passes her off to me.
“Uncle Gabe,” Piper says with a big grin. She still has pasta in her teeth but she’s adorable. Looks just like Rhiannon did when she was a little girl.
“Yes, cutie?”
“Will you buy me a horsey?”
“I’ll buy you anything you want.”
Rhiannon laughs as she washes the dishes and her bib at the sink.
I press a soft kiss to her forehead then she squirms out of my grip and takes off, running into the living room to play with her toys.
“It’s crazy how fast they grow. I feel like she was just a baby.”
“I know.” She moves to the table. Wiping the mess that was left behind and then throwing the trash away before coming back to my side. “Abel’s due any day now. I have no idea how I’m going to manage two under two.”
“We’re all here to help you. Plus, you’re a great mom. Between you and Cain, these kids are lucky.”
She smiles at me then sits back down, tucking her feet up onto the stool, watching me. “And you were an incredible dad to Eden.”
Before Cain, Rhiannon was like me—all work, no breathing room, running herself ragged just to check off every box and pay the never-ending pile of bills we had while keeping the family thrift store afloat, leaving zero space to take care of herself.
Then Cain came crashing into her life one wild night at Bryant Park. Disappeared. Came back again, this time suing her. And then again. Until one day, they both figured out that maybe fate wasn’t being subtle in pushing them together. And the rest was history.
Marriage, two babies, a house next door to the one that Eden and I still live in. And Rhiannon now the happiest, most settled I’ve ever seen her. Cain too, from what I hear from his sister. Two people who met at exactly the right time in exactly the right place and found healing in their love.
And then there’s me. Finally doing something for myself with my business, youngest sister almost off on her own, feeling like I’m getting the chance to start over. And the first woman that I want to do that with, rejects me.
“I think you’re dumb for not just telling her, ‘Hey! Don’t go on this date with my contractor. Don’t date anyone else. Love me. See me. Choose me.’ Or whatever that line is from Grey’s Anatomy.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
She laughs.
I exhale slowly. “I did. Sort of. I guess I didn’t explicitly say all that, but I told her I liked her.
And then Roman’s words hit me. About me being just the rebound.
The first guy she fell into bed with after her divorce.
How she needed to put herself out there more.
Date around. See that other guys aren’t me and hopefully…
I don’t know… Eventually come back to me.
” I sigh heavily. “Fuck it sounds so bad when I say it out loud. I swear it sounded better when he said it.”
Rhiannon scoffs. “Since when has Roman’s advice ever been great?
The guy’s lived in Miami most of his adult life.
He doesn’t get how dating is in the Northeast. It’s way more ruthless here.
Plus, as soon as women find out Roman has money, he’s no longer in an honest relationship.
He has no idea what it’s like to be divorced and hurt deeply yet want to start over. ”
“That’s fair. But still…” I drag a hand over the back of my neck. “She told me no. Just got out of my bed and said she didn’t want to do this.”
I swallow hard.
“I was an idiot. I know that now.”
I glance over at Rhiannon. She’s leaning forward, elbows on her knees, listening like every word matters.
We’ve always talked to each other like this.
Honest. No bullshit. But this is the first time I’ve admitted to caring about a woman since my divorce ten years ago.
And yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s catching her off guard. Hell, it caught me off guard.
“I think I saw a future with her,” I admit quietly. And I leave it there.
I look at Piper playing in the other room with her toys.
I think about how it felt the first time I held her in my arms after Rhiannon had given birth.
It made me think of Eden—how I was just ten years old when our mom placed her in my arms for the first time when they got back from the hospital.
She was so tiny and sweet. And then she started crying, and I promptly decided I wanted nothing to do with babies.
Fast forward a decade later, and I was raising her myself.
Taking a little snot-nosed ten-year-old girl who’d lost both of her parents and helping her become the incredible woman she is today.
I wish I could take all the credit, but I can’t.
Rhiannon and I became her parents and we both learned a lot about ourselves, and our patience, along the way.
What that taught me more than anything was that I wanted to do it again. Right the next time. With someone who I loved. And I thought I would have by now. Thought I’d have a family of my own. Because kids—man, they show you what really matters. The good and the bad. They humble you. They make you.
And for a brief, fleeting moment, I saw myself doing all that with Alessia.
“Oh, Gabriel,” she squeezes my knee affectionately. “I’m sorry but you can’t project how you reacted after your divorce onto Aly,” Rhiannon says, bringing me back to the conversation. “Maybe she feels differently and doesn’t need to hook up with half of Brookhaven to move on.”
I shake my head. “I don’t think so.”
She exhales, tilting her head. “Okay, so what? She’s going on this date with Travis—who, by the way, is a really nice guy, so if you were going to let another guy take her out, you could’ve at least picked someone you know, ugly, mean, or boring.”
I groan, gripping the back of my neck, because fuck, the only reason I even came over here tonight was to not think about their date and now I’m remembering.
Travis told me about it himself. Casually mentioned that they had a date planned right after he finished the work on their house today.
And Aly hasn’t said a single word to me about it yet.
It’s been twenty-four hours, and I’ve been avoiding her like it’ll somehow make this hurt less.
I woke up early for work just so I didn’t have to see her in her cute little kindergarten teacher outfit, came straight to my sister’s after I got home from work in the city.
Had dinner with Rhiannon since Cain’s out of town for work in Los Angeles.
And now I’m hanging out with Piper to try not to picture them together on some adorable date that he planned, I’m sure.
“And then what?” Rhiannon presses. “What if she brings him back to your house tonight?”
I shake my head. “She wouldn’t.”
“How can you be sure?” she presses.
“Because I am. She wouldn’t do that to me. She knows how I feel about her.” She wouldn’t purposely hurt me like that.
Rhiannon gives me a look. The kind only a sister can give. She knows how badly that would gut me. That would be a pain I can’t walk back from.
“Okay,” she says, tilting her head. “But what if he takes her to his house then?”
I let out a sharp breath, rubbing my face. “Fuck, Rhiannon, I’ve been thinking about this all day. I can’t do this.”
She shudders, like the thought of my emotional turmoil physically pains her. “I feel like you’re making a mistake by not going to your house and stopping her right now. But I also get why you’re doing this. You want her to choose you without forcing her, don’t you?”
I nod and blow out a breath of air. “Yeah. I do.”
“I also get that you always sacrifice yourself for everyone else’s good when maybe sometimes you should do something selfish just for you.”
“I can’t.” I groan. “It’s not in my nature.”
She sighs. “Okay. Then I don’t have any more advice.”
I scoff. “You’re a therapist. Shouldn’t you have more than just stating the obvious?”
She squeezes my shoulder, her voice softer now.
“I think you may need to come to terms with the fact that if you really believe it’s important for Aly to date other men, then you need to let her go and respect that decision.
She didn’t run this one by you, which means you’re probably right—she wants to see other guys.
She wants to know if you’re really that special.
The least you can do is give her the space to do it.
And if her heart is really with you, she’ll figure that out fast. She’ll come back to you.
In the meantime, you need to tell her exactly how you feel when you see her next. ”
“And what if that pushes her away again? What if she tells me she can’t do this with me? Again?”
She shrugs. “Then that’s her decision. But from what you’ve shared, you started to tell her but stopped yourself. You need to be very clear with her, Gabriel. And then the rest is on her. Then you can feel like you’ve done all you can do to state your intentions.”
“I can’t handle the rejection, Rhiannon.”
Her gaze softens, like I’ve just hit her with something she wasn’t ready for. “I know,” she whispers. Then she exhales, shaking her head. “Dammit, you’re gonna make me cry.”
She sinks back into her seat just as Piper comes running into the room.
“Come here, baby.”
Piper goes straight into her arms like that’s the safest place in the world. Rhiannon pulls her close, pressing a kiss to her head as she tucks her against her chest. Her fingers slide through Piper’s soft brown hair, smoothing it back with an easy, familiar tenderness.
“You took care of us so well,” Rhiannon says softly.
“You deserve someone who sees your heart. Someone who makes it easy. Who doesn’t make you think so hard about it.
Who doesn’t make you stress or question your relationship.
Who’s excited to see you every day. Who doesn’t make you pick between your family and them.
” She shakes her head. “You deserve someone who chooses you the next time.”
I nod because—even though I’m not crying like she is now—I know she’s right.
And I know she knows. She was there after my divorce.
She saw what Amber did to me. She knows my vulnerabilities; the ones that I don’t let anyone else see.
She had a lot of the same ones before she met Cain.
She gets it. Probably more than anyone else does.
“One night at a time,” she says. “I think Aly’s incredible but she’s on her own journey of healing and she’s been burned before. I get the feeling that she’s cautious with her heart and isn’t just going to jump into something with the guy after the rebound guy either.”
I blow out a slow breath. “I hope you’re right.” I push back from the table. “I’ll get out of your hair now.”
She shakes her head immediately. “If it’s too much for you to sleep at your place, stay here tonight. You know… if you don’t want to stay up, wondering whether she’s coming home or what she’s doing.”
She stands, shifting Piper who’s yawning in her arms. “I’m gonna lay her down.” Then she drops her voice softer. “I’m here for you. Whatever you need.”
“Thank you.”
I know Rhiannon’s right. I want to be home. I want to be stretched out on my couch with a fire lit waiting for her to come back.
But I also know she’s right. If I go home, I’ll get drunk. I’ll stew in my misery. And if Aly doesn’t come home tonight—if she stays out all night—I don’t think I can handle that.
Because that’s how things started with Amber.
Right after my parents passed away. Amber and I shared an apartment in Hartford, but I was immediately forced to move back into my childhood home to take care of Eden.
Amber didn’t seem to mind it at first. And it worked, for a whole week.
Until she suddenly stopped coming home. And I knew. I knew that I’d lost her then.
“Yeah,” I say. “I’ll just sleep on the couch here.”
She nods. “Let me get you some sheets. I’ll be right back.” Then she smiles, just a little. “And some tequila.”