32. Christian
CHRISTIAN
I paced in the corner of Ray’s room as doctors and nurses hovered over his bed, and prayed that his vitals would stay stable as they lowered the drugs that were keeping him sedated.
I pressed my back into the corner and cupped my hands over my mouth, wishing Cassandra was here.
I could have used her grit right now.
She would have had her chin up, striking everyone with that exacting gaze, demanding excellence without even saying a word.
I closed my eyes and listened, keeping a close ear on the steady rhythm of the monitors, listening for any changes that might be cause for alarm.
The sun had risen this morning, just like it had for the last three weeks of constant rotations in and out of the hospital.
I still believed the other two things would happen.
I needed him to fucking wake up.
The doctors were talking in hushed tones to the respiratory therapist, discussing the breathing tube.
I needed room to pace, but I didn’t want to get in the way.
My mom was here today, but she had stepped out to get food from the cafeteria since the doctors said that lowering the sedative would take hours to kick in.
I watched with a grotesque sort of fascination as the breathing tube was slowly removed.
And then all I could do was wait some more.
I sat beside Ray and watched the shallow rise and fall of his chest. The breathing tube had been replaced with an oxygen mask. IV lines and electrical leads still covered seemingly every inch of his body.
The Jordan Loft novel I had grabbed from the house two days ago was open on my lap, but I didn’t have the focus to read.
Every time I tried to look at a page, I would jolt up, certain that I heard Ray move or make a noise.
But he never did.
Sitting beside an unresponsive body for three weeks had my mind playing constant tricks on me.
I looked down at the book, scanning a few lines before turning the page. My eyes snapped up when I thought the blanket moved, but Ray was still as a statue.
Twice, I thought I heard my name, but it was just the nurses talking at the station outside the door.
I needed to get some sleep.
Chris.
I turned another page, glossing over letters and punctuation. Why was I even attempting to read? I should have just turned on the TV to watch the replay of Cassandra’s ex-fiancé getting arrested for the thousandth time.
Chris.
Maybe I should call Cassandra. It was about lunch time. She’d be taking a break and heading up to the house.
Then again, one of the renewable energy companies she courted was going to begin installing solar panels on top of all the barns and warehouses.
It was the first stage before they broke ground on the south side of the property.
My stipulation was that they used land the cattle never touched.
Cassandra’s demand was that it was out of sight of the future lodge and restaurant.
Guilt ate at me for not being there today. She and CJ were capable, but I should have been there to handle it.
Chris.
I sighed and looked up at Ray.
Heavy eyes blinked back at me.
My heart stopped.
Breath clouded the oxygen mask. I watched—not quite believing my eyes—as he licked his lips.
“Ray?” My voice was a hoarse whisper.
He tried to say something, but I couldn’t quite make it out. The mix of adrenaline and relief was too much to bear.
I slammed my hand into the call button to get the nurses in here as tears welled up in my eyes.
His eyes flicked down to the oxygen mask, then back up at me. Carefully, I lifted it just enough to hear him.
“My score?” The whisper was dry and cracked, like someone crawling out of a grave and cheating death.
I handed over the championship buckle that had been sitting by his bedside for three weeks.
I placed it in his fingers, but they never moved to grip it.
“Ninety-one point nine.”
Night had fallen by the time I made it back to the ranch. The rest of the day had been filled with tears of grief and gratitude.
Quadriplegic.
I rolled the word around in my head as I parked the truck in front of the house.
He was paralyzed from the neck down, but he was alive.
Conversations surrounding step-down care and moving him home circulated throughout his room for hours.
Ray’s throat was hoarse from the tube. He would break out into coughing fits that he couldn’t control. The nurses did their best to keep him comfortable, but the road to recovery—whatever that looked like—would be far from it.
The lights were on downstairs, but I stayed quiet as I crept into the house. The kitchen table was littered with paperwork and, on top of it, was Cassandra.
Her blonde hair was sprayed across the files as she snored softly, resting her head on her folded arms.
Instead of waking her, I started shuffling the papers into neat piles to make it easier to go through them in the morning.
It was just after nine and the girls were probably asleep.
Cassandra stirred as I slid a budget sheet out from under her cheek. “Hmm—” she blinked “—Christian?”
“Hey beautiful,” I said softly as I knelt beside her chair and smoothed her hair away from her face. “Wanna go to bed?”
Cassandra sat up and pressed her fingers to her eyes. “What time is it?”
“9:15.”
She blinked. “I swear I just closed my eyes for a second. I didn’t even hear you come in.”
“Hey.” I cupped her cheeks. “Don’t apologize. You’ve…” I let out a sharp breath. “You’ve done more than I could have ever asked. More than I can ever repay you for.”
“How’s Ray?” she asked immediately, and I fell just a little more in love with her because of it. “I haven’t said anything to the girls. I figured that was a conversation you should have with them.”
“Angry,” I admitted as I let my hair down and released the tension on my scalp. I sighed. “I’ve never seen him like that. He… he had this look in his eyes when the doctors were talking to him and explaining the prognosis.”
“I can’t imagine waking up and realizing that your life as you knew it is over.” She cupped my cheek, stroking my beard with her thumb. “When will he get to come home?”
“Probably a week or so. He’s gonna move back into my parents’ house because he’ll have to have round-the-clock care. Marty’s gonna pack up his place in Colorado and ship his stuff down. It’s… gonna be an adjustment for all of us.”
Her eyes were tired, but stalwart. “I’m here for all of it. Whatever you need.”
“Right now I need you in bed.”
She pecked my lips. “I was hoping you’d say that.”
I dropped my hat and wallet on the nightstand so I could find them in the morning, then joined her in the bathroom. We stood side by side at the sink, brushing our teeth and wiping off the day, before climbing into bed.
“Come here,” I growled lowly as I pulled her into my arms. “I’ve missed this.”
Cassandra let out a heavy breath as she snuggled into my side. Her elegant fingers traced shapes on my chest. “I need to make a request.”
“Anything.” I cradled her head against my chest, keeping her close.
After the day I’d had, I wanted to run upstairs and hold Bree and Gracie and revel in the realization that my beautiful daughters were loved, safe, and cared for, thanks to the woman in my arms. But I also didn’t want to scare them.
“I need time off to go back to New York,” she said.
I laced our hands together and brought her knuckles to my lips. “Promise me you’ll come back.”
“Promise me you’ll have room for my shoes when I bring them all,” she said with a sly smile.
“Promise me something else, Princess,” I said as I rolled on top of her, straddling her hips. My stomach hung, pressing against her skin as I kissed across her collarbone.
“What’s that?”
“Promise me that you’re staying for good.
” I pushed her loose tank top over her bare breasts.
“Please stay.” I kissed her sternum, breathing in the warm, woodsy fragrance of her perfume.
“I thought I could handle it all, but you made me realize that I don’t have to.
” I brushed my lips across hers. “And that I don’t want to. I want it to be you.”
I pushed her cheeky little panties down and shucked off my boxers as I reached for a condom.
Cassandra caught my wrist and shook her head. “Maybe not this time. I’m on birth control and I went to the clinic in town last week and got checked out after I found out about Tripp. We hadn’t been intimate in a long time, but I wanted to be sure. The results were negative.”
“You sure? Birth control isn’t foolproof.”
She laughed softly. “I know. But if there’s anyone I’d risk it with, it’s you.”
“Cass.” I shook my head. “You don’t have to do that just to make me happy. It doesn’t matter to me.”
“I want to feel you,” she admitted.
I smoothed my knuckles down her cheek. “If you’re sure. My last check was good, too.”
Cassandra dug her fingers into my hair, curling them at the root to draw me closer. “The sun rose this morning.” She smiled as I kissed down her neck. “And Ray woke up.”
“I still believe all three things, Princess. Mark my words.”
“Good,” she whispered. “Because I do too.”
“You know what else I believe?” I said as I slid my knuckles through her pussy and worked the wetness around her entrance. “I think we’re gonna have a good life, no matter what the days bring.”
She wrapped her mile-long legs around me, pressing her cunt against the head of my dick.
I laced our hands together and pinned them above her head, stretching her out so her breasts scraped my chest with each thrust as I shunted myself inside of her.
Cassandra bit down into my skin to keep from making a sound. The pierce of pain was unexpected, but arousing. My cock throbbed inside of her.
“There you go, princess.” I thrust inside of her again, knocking the breath from her lungs. “You know how to take it. Now show me what a good girl you can be for me.”
She was tight and hot around me, squeezing me like a vise.
“I needed this,” she groaned.
“That’s right. You did. Now take what you need.”
Cassandra bucked against me, matching each of my thrusts with one of her own. We moved fluidly, taking and giving until we were panting and desperate.
“Come inside of me,” she whispered, nipping my earlobe to punctuate her point.
I shook my head. “Cass, I don’t have to come. I can take care of business in a minute. Let me make you feel good.”
“I want you to,” she said, wiggling her wrists out of my grasp and scraping her nails down my chest. She bit my lip and sucked it between her teeth.
“Goddamn, you play dirty,” I admitted with a wicked grin.
“I know what I want, cowboy.”
I wrapped an arm around her waist and flipped us, settling her on top of me. I shoved a stack of pillows behind my back. “Then ride me.”
Cassandra straddled me and slid down onto my cock. I groaned as the tight pressure built around me again.
But instead of chasing an orgasm, she reached forward and grabbed my hat off the nightstand.
I skated my hands up her abdomen and cupped her breasts. “What are you doing, princess?”
She smiled as she worked her hips up and down, chasing ecstasy. “You told me to put that hat on when I wanted to be yours.” She tossed her hair to the side and dropped it on her head, eyes sparkling in the darkness. “And I want to be yours.”