Chapter Eleven
Rick
“What’s wrong?”
The moment Rick got Ian inside his home all he wanted to do was kiss and love on his mate with all the pent-up affection he’d been holding back all day.
The dinner with Toby and Ernest had gone great.
Rick was pleased that Toby already knew Ian.
Apparently, Ian was friends with Morty’s mate Hector, and Lionel and Brad—Rick had heard about, too—through Toby.
So there was no awkwardness, just a fun time, with Toby taking the credit for Rick and Ian’s mating, which made Ian laugh.
But there was something definitely wrong.
Rick had noticed throughout the entire dinner, it was as though Ian was playing a part.
He was friendly and definitely had no problem showing affection around the others.
There was just that niggle in the back of his head, where his bond with his mate sat…
Rick couldn’t forget that when he went to pick Ian up, Ian had clung to him like a drowning man.
Which meant they were going to have to talk before they got down to the fun side of the evening.
“I know we don’t know each other very well yet,” Rick said, taking Ian over to the couch, instead of rushing him straight to the bedroom, which had been his first intention. “I guess now would be a good time to stop for a moment and clear the air about a few things.”
He waited until Ian was sitting down and then sat next to him, before adding, “I could feel you through our bond all day—you clearly haven’t had a good day.
I’m here, ready to listen—that’s what mates are for.
Not just for the fun stuff.” He waggled his eyebrows and was pleased to see Ian’s smile light his eyes.
“Mates are supportive of each other through everything, good and bad.”
Ian seemed to slump. It was as if somebody had taken a pin to him and popped him, deflating him. “I really didn’t want you to get involved in all my mess when we’re all still so new to each other. I’m just feeling so… so… so torn… so undervalued. Shit, I don’t know why I’d never seen it before.
“And it’s just, they want me to do this, and then they want me to do that, and then I tell them I have a mate and it’s oh, but you’re still looking after the kids on Friday, and I can’t believe that’s what their first thought is!
And then all day, all day I spent missing you, wanting to be with you.
“I knew I couldn’t come across as clingy because if you wanted clingy, you’d have gotten yourself an omega and I really don’t know what to do, and I’m just ready to tear my hair out because matings are supposed to be perfect.
They’re meant to be fun, and I don’t understand where all these feelings are coming from. ”
“Whoa, babe!” Rick gathered his mate close and pulled him into his chest, soothing him with long, unhurried strokes down his back.
“How about you take a breath?” he said slowly.
“Take a breath and start from the beginning. I missed you today. Does that help? I missed you, and I wish that you were at the farm so I could pop in and see you in between my different chores. I figured that it wouldn’t do any harm.
You work from home anyway, so it wouldn’t be that disruptive to work in Ernest’s kitchen, or he did say you could use one of the bedrooms in his house as an office…
so you see, I was thinking about us being together too. ”
Ian’s head came up. “If Ernest was fine with my being at the farm during the day, why didn’t he say anything at dinner? I’d have grabbed onto that with both hands.”
“Because, my wonderful mate, Ernest was respecting your autonomy. He knew that was something you and I needed to discuss privately. If I brought up something like that in front of my friends, then you may feel that you were being coerced into a decision you didn’t want to make.”
Rick couldn’t resist stroking Ian’s back again.
The tension was evident in every muscle down Ian’s spine.
“You’re a really sweet guy, and you’re the type of person who wants to please everybody else.
As your mate, I believe you should have the ability to make your own decisions, and those decisions should be respected.
That is why we talk about these things between us privately. Then there’s no pressure.”
“Try telling that to my family,” Ian said glumly.
“I never realized… Gods, this is going to sound so pathetic. My family is close, right? Now, honey badgers aren’t known for living in groups in the wild, but that mother-cub bond, which is the most enduring in our kind—my mom takes that to the extreme.
I know what a blessing that is. You know, a lot of people don’t have family. ”
“Honey badger? Cute.” Rick just smiled. The less said about his family, the better. “What do you mean? Explain what’s going on.”
“I don’t know where to start.” Ian threw up his hands.
“My first call this morning was from my sister Maisie—she’s the one whose birth I had to attend, right, so she has a lovely baby boy, Alfie.
She calls, out of the blue, expecting me to babysit because her mate decided to pull his head out of his ass, and invite her out on a date.
At the same time, I’d just received your text about the dinner, and you’d better believe I wanted to meet your friends at dinner. I wanted to spend time with you.”
Rick realized that Ian was worried that Rick would take things the wrong way and would have thought that he wanted to babysit for his sister instead. “Spending time with you was my preference, too.”
“Right. Yes. Because that’s what mates do.
I told Maisie about you, and that I wanted to spend time with you, and instead of being pleased for me, she got all huffy about it.
Apparently, because we’re family, I’m meant to drop everything and do what she wants, which was to spend the night babysitting.
I adore the little tyke, I really do, but mates come first. Anyway,” Ian sighed, “after she got off the phone from me, she must’ve rung my mom right away.
My mom calls me, furious because I hadn’t told her about you immediately.
Apparently, taking three days to spend time with a new mate was two and a half days too many. ”
Rick wasn’t sure he liked this closeness that Ian had with his family, although he was hardly going to interfere.
“It didn’t stop there. Then she was going on about how, oh, how had I forgotten that my other brother wanted me to look after their children this Friday night, and I said I would call my brother and explain…” Ian trailed off.
“Come on, babe, you know you can tell me anything, or if you don’t know, then sniff hard and know I’m not lying.”
Ian’s voice dropped to barely a whisper.
“I told her you were an alpha, and she got so upset. She mentioned children I wouldn’t be having, and how much I wanted children, and now I couldn’t because I didn’t have an omega mate.
” When he looked up, Rick’s thumb moved automatically to brush the single tear under Ian’s eye.
“Please understand. I’m so glad I got an alpha mate.
It was her who wanted me to have children, not me who wanted them.
I don’t even know where she got that idea, but once she gets an idea in her head for years, she never lets go.
Everybody must want children, and everybody must want this that and the other—”
“Hey, hey, it’s all right.” Rick tightened his hold on his mate.
“If we decide to have children, we’ll have children.
There is such a thing as adoption. If we decide we’re happier on our own, then we don’t have to have any.
Like everything else, we’ll discuss it when we’re ready.
From the sounds of it, you’ve got plenty of nieces and nephews for your mom to make a fuss over. ”
“I do,” Ian said. “But see, that made me realize another issue. For some reason, and I never noticed—or not really—that until I met you, my whole family seems to think that I’m their built-in babysitter who’s going to drop my plans.
I’ll do this because they’re more important—all because we’re family.
And we are, but as a member of this family, why can’t any of them—who are all happy and making plans with their mates—understand I want and deserve the same? ”
Rick didn’t have any answers for that, as his own experiences with family were very limited—he preferred not to think about them at all.
But if having an extended family was part of being with Ian, then Rick would accept that.
He would also make a point of making sure his mate’s needs were respected.
He didn’t envisage him and Ian as a couple, spending all their spare time outside of work babysitting.
“I’m sure there’s a perfectly good babysitting service in town,” he said slowly, and hopefully not treading on any family toes.
“If there isn’t, there’re always teenage children wanting pocket money, or other extended family members.
I assume the parents of these nieces and nephews have an extended family on the mate’s side. “Why does it always have to be you?”
Ian’s gaze lowered. The downcast look and droop in his shoulders made Rick’s heart hurt.
“I’ve always said yes.” Ian’s tone made it worse—he was clearly so upset.
“Until I met you, I never had a problem with it. Did you know the dude ranch experience was the third Bucket List Buddies event I was signed up for? I went to the first one when Hector met his mate Morty—being a support for Hector, but that upset Mom, because she wanted me to do some charity thing for her, so I ended up leaving early. I couldn’t go to the second one—the ghost hunting tour with Lionel—because Maisie was giving birth that night. ”
“Your sister, Maisie?” Rick couldn’t think why Ian would have to be there, and clearly that question showed on his face.