3. Maddy
CHAPTER THREE
MADDY
M y heart hammered against my ribs, a frantic bird desperate to escape its cage. I could feel Rafe’s gaze on me, heavy and assessing. Judging. What did he see when he looked at me? A means to an end? A broodmare to secure his legacy?
I turned slowly, meeting those icy blue eyes head-on. He stood with his arms crossed, biceps straining against the sleeves of his shirt. The scent of him—pine and leather and something uniquely male—filled my nose, making my head spin.
Damn him for being so hot. Damn my body for responding to him like a cat in heat.
“So,” he said, voice low and rough. “Here we are.”
I swallowed hard, trying to ignore the way my skin prickled with awareness. “Here we are,” I echoed hollowly.
Silence stretched between us again, thick and uncomfortable. I could practically hear the gears turning in his head as he searched for something to say.
“I know this isn’t ideal,” he finally settled on. “But I promise, I’ll do everything in my power to make you comfortable here.”
A harsh laugh escaped me before I could stop it. Comfortable? How had Kai put it, in a strange pack, mated to a man I barely knew? With said brother already up to no good, and the biggest threat our pack faced ready to tear us to shreds?
Sure. Comfortable.
Rafe’s jaw tightened at the sound. “Something funny?”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “Nothing at all.”
Another beat of silence. Another moment where I questioned every choice that had led me here.
But what other option did I have? Bowen would kill Kai if he found us. Probably me too, after he’d had his fun. This was the only way to keep us safe. The only way to survive.
I needed him to accept me. I needed his mate mark.
I took a deep, shuddering breath and reached for the hem of my shirt. Rafe’s eyes widened as I pulled it over my head, exposing the plain cotton bra beneath.
“What are you doing?” he asked, voice strained.
“What does it look like?” I tossed the shirt aside and reached for the button of my jeans. “I’m getting ready for bed.”
He took a step forward, hand outstretched. “Madison, stop.”
Rafe’s gaze raked over me, hot and hungry. I could smell his arousal, sharp and musky, mixing with my own. It made my head spin, made me want to do something stupid like throw myself at him.
But I couldn’t let myself forget what this was. A transaction.
He wasn’t my lover. He was my jailer.
“You don’t have to do this,” he said roughly, dragging his eyes back to my face. “I’m not expecting?—”
“Aren’t you?” I cut him off, voice sharp. I fumbled for the button of my jeans, shoving them down my hips and kicking them away. Goosebumps erupted across my skin as I stood there in nothing but my underwear. “Isn’t that what is supposed to happen?”
His face darkened, a muscle ticking in his jaw. He was in my space in a flash, fingers latching around my wrists. His touch burned like a brand, searing into my skin. “I didn’t want this. I didn’t want you unwilling.”
I sucked in a breath, my pulse pounding in my ears. He was so close I felt the heat radiating off his body, scented the woodsy pine clinging to him. His grip on my wrists was firm, but not painful. I could easily break free if I wanted to.
But I didn’t. Instead, I leaned into him, pressing my breasts against his chest. He released a soft, ragged groan that sent a thrill of power through me.
“Who says I’m unwilling?” My voice came out low and husky. My wolf padded in a circle in my head, excited and curious.
She wanted Rafe. Wanted this.
I slipped my fingers under the hem of his shirt and skimmed toward the button of his jeans.
“For fuck’s sake—” Rafe let off a low growl and yanked my hands to my sides. “Let’s have one conversation first.”
“What’s there to talk about?” I snapped, trying to wrest my hands free. “This is the deal, isn’t it? Let me do my duty.”
He snarled and forced my back to the wall. I gasped as his body pressed against mine, pinning me in place. The heat of his body burned through the thin fabric of my bra, and I could feel the hard length of his erection through the denim of his jeans.
Rafe’s eyes flashed with a predatory glint. He lowered his head, lips brushing against the shell of my ear. “What is your duty, Madison?”
Fates, his voice. That deep, sexy rumble sent a shiver of pleasure through me. I tilted my head, exposing my neck in a show of submission. I shouldn’t be enjoying this, but damn it if my body didn’t want to take the lead and my brain to follow.
“I came to be your mate, to carry your pups?—”
“To be my partner.”
His lips ghosted over my throat, the feather-light touch making my nerve endings spark to life. My heart hammered against my chest.
“To be my equal.”
He nipped at the sensitive spot where my neck met my shoulder, and I shuddered, a wave of pure need washing over me.
I reached for him, desperate for purchase, but he pressed my wrists back against the wall.
The sharp tang of his arousal spiked, mingling with the woodsy scent that clung to him like a second skin. I breathed it in deeply, letting it stoke the banked flames inside me. My wolf prowled in hungry circles, egging me on.
I tried to remember why I was here, why this was such a horrible idea. But all thoughts fled my mind as he pinned my hands above my head and landed a palm on my hip. Deep, hungry blue watched the rise and fall of my rapid breath as he skimmed his hand higher and higher up my side until his thumb rested beneath the swell of my breast.
“I don’t need you to be my whore. That’s not what we do here.” Rafe’s voice was a low, sensual growl. “Every touch will be one you want.”
A different, deeper heat pooled between my thighs. My nipples pebbled, begging to be touched. No one had made me feel this way before. Not the boys I denied when we were teens, not the men who stared in my twenties.
I arched my back, grinding against the hardness of Rafe’s body. Fates, I hated this. Loved it. Needed more. Needed him to quench the fire burning through my veins.
“Touch me,” I breathed.
I wasn’t sure if it was a question or a plea or a statement of absolute certainty. It didn’t matter. Because as soon as the words left my lips, his mouth crashed down onto mine.
The kiss was raw and savage, claiming my mouth with a brutal need. He growled low in his throat, the vibrations sending delicious shivers through me. My wolf howled in triumph, even as my body writhed against him.
One large hand curled around my throat, holding me in place as he ravaged my mouth. He kissed me like a dying man seeking salvation, and I welcomed the plunge of his tongue against mine. Every nerve ending in my body was on fire as we devoured each other, bodies melding together as if we were made to fit.
My breath hitched as his thigh nudged between my legs. Pleasure shot through me as he pressed against my core, sending heat coiling deep inside me. I yanked my hands free and buried them in his hair, tugging and pulling him closer.
He broke away with a feral snarl, and the world spun faster than I could track. One second, I faced him, the next, I had my hands braced against the wall.
“I’ll tell you when you can move those,” Rafe ordered.
The low growl in his voice made my knees go weak. I felt the warm brush of his breath against the nape of my neck, a teasing caress. His lips followed, trailing kisses over my shoulders and down my spine.
I groaned, arching into his touch. He cupped my ass, kneading the flesh with a firm grip. I turned my head, just enough to catch his eye. “If you wanted to bend me over, you could’ve just asked.”
His hand collided with my ass, and I gasped in surprise. Heat blossomed beneath my thin panties, a mix of pain and pleasure. My wolf panted in my head, a willing participant.
“That was for the disrespectful way you talk to me,” he said, the teasing plain in his voice even amid the huskiness of lust. “I get enough of that from the others, so you’ll fit right in.”
Another slap. Fire ignited under my skin, a flare of pain that quickly melted into something darker and unfamiliar. More intense.
“And that,” he continued, voice dropping to a dangerous rasp, “was for stripping when I told you not to.”
A third blow, sharper and harder than the first two. I hissed in a sharp breath, my wolf urging me to stay put and take my punishment.
Fates, it felt good. Every impact rippled through me, lighting up my nerves and sending sparks of pleasure straight to my core. I hadn’t known my body could feel this way, hadn’t ever guessed. I’d strip through the streets if this was the end result.
“Rafe...” I moaned his name, pressing my forehead to the cool wood. “Please.”
He caught my chin and claimed my mouth again, a deep, demanding kiss. I gave in willingly, melting into him as his hands roamed over my body, leaving trails of heat in their wake.
My fingers curled into fists as I fought to obey his order to stay still. But then his fingertips dipped beneath the waistband of my panties, and every thought fled my mind.
“Oh fuck, Madison,” he ground out as his fingers slid between my thighs. “You’re so fucking wet for me.”
I cried out as his hand landed another spank to my ass at the same moment his fingers stroked over my clit. White-hot pleasure lanced through me, and I ground my hips against him, not knowing what else to do and still needing so much more.
One finger probed at my entrance, and I whimpered in desperation. I felt like a live wire, every sensation amplified to the point of agony. The press of his palm against my lower back, the solid strength of his chest behind me, the throbbing ache between my legs.
And then, blessedly, the tip of his finger sank into me.
“So fucking tight,” he growled.
“Yours,” I gasped. “Only yours.”
That finger froze. “You’re a virgin?”
His body tensed against mine before I could answer. And then he was gone, hands ripping away from my body, his heat no longer burning me up from the inside. I sagged against the wall, hands sliding down as I tried to calm my racing heart and control my breathing.
“You’re a virgin?” he repeated, voice hoarse. His footsteps paced away, and I risked a look over my shoulder. “And I just—I was going to?—”
A wash of embarrassment swept over me, shame coloring my cheeks. I grabbed a pillow from the bed and hugged it in front of my nakedness. “Is that not what males want?”
“I don’t. I do. Fuck.” Rafe scrubbed a hand down his face. “This isn’t what your first time should be. You should be with someone who?—”
He cut himself off with a growl and twisted away.
“Didn’t pick them out of a pile?” I asked, trying to force levity into my tone.
Rafe looked over his shoulder, and his expression stopped me dead in my tracks. There was raw hunger there, yes, but also sadness and a deep-rooted guilt.
I didn’t know what to make of it, and I didn’t have a chance to figure it out. He strode for the door, pausing with his hand on the knob.
“I have to go,” he said tightly. “But I’ll send Tara. She’ll see you’re properly settled in and answer any questions you might have. And tomorrow, we can... talk. Figure this out.”
I stood in silence as he closed the door behind him, too stunned to react.