8. Maddy
CHAPTER EIGHT
MADDY
I stirred, blinking blearily against the gray light filtering through the curtains. The soft patter of rain against the window filled the room, a soothing counterpoint to the dull ache between my thighs. A reminder of the night before, of Rafe’s touch, his claim.
My mate.
The word felt foreign on my tongue, the reality of it not quite sunk in. I shifted, the sheets tangling around my bare legs, and inhaled deeply. Beneath the pine and leather of Rafe and the earthy petrichor of the rain, I caught a whiff of something rich and warm. Coffee.
Surprise flickered through me as I pushed myself up on my elbows. Rafe sat on the edge of the bed, already dressed, his fingers deftly lacing up his boots. He glanced over his shoulder as I sat up, his gaze skimming over my sleep-mussed hair and the bite mark on my shoulder.
Heat flared in his eyes, but quickly banked with a tightening on his jaw.
“Morning,” he said, his voice a delicious rumble. Clearing his throat, he turned back to his task. He jerked his chin toward the nightstand where a steaming mug sat. “There’s coffee. Thought you might need it.”
The muscles of Rafe’s back flexed beneath his t-shirt. He seemed tightly wound, his shoulders tense beneath his t-shirt. A stark contrast to the sinfully sweet way he had unwound me the night before.
Heat crept up my neck as memories of the previous evening flooded my mind. Rafe’s touch, his kiss. How he tasted. How he’d fucked me hard enough to brand me as his for the rest of my life. The perfect gentleman with questions on what I wanted and liked, right up until the moment he let go.
I wanted to see him like that again. I wanted to be the cause of his snapped control.
I sat up, suddenly shy, and wrapped the sheets around myself. I reached for the mug, very aware of my nakedness and the uncharted territory of waking in my mate’s bed.
“Thanks.” My voice came out rougher than I intended. I sipped the coffee, watching him over the rim.
“I have to head out,” he said. He finished with his boots and leaned back with a groan, head resting on my legs. The smile he kicked up at me curled heat in my belly. “There’s an emergency at one of the construction sites. Some flooding I need to keep from getting worse.”
“Oh.” I set the mug on the nightstand, disappointment and uncertainty washing over me. Rafe had a job. He had a pack to manage. But where did that leave me?
I didn’t expect him to cling to my side like a barnacle. But for all his talk of not being like other wolves, I was essentially in the same position of sitting at home and waiting on his comings and goings.
Rafe’s eyebrows shot together, a flicker of concern on his face. “Are you okay?”
I hesitated, the words sticking in my throat. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with my day.”
“Well...” He paused, taking my hand in his and absently toying with my fingers. “What do you want to do?”
The question caught me off guard. No one had ever asked me that before. Not my parents, not my brother. Certainly not Bowen. My wishes had always been secondary, if they’d been considered at all.
“I...” I trailed off, at a loss.
His expression softened, understanding flickering across his face. He brought my hand to his lips and pressed a soft kiss to my palm. “Take the day. Think about it. We can talk more tonight, figure things out.”
“Maybe I want to do construction, too,” I said with a wry grin, hoping to lighten the mood. “Swing a hammer, get my hands dirty.”
He chuckled, shaking his head. “I’m not saying no. Just not today, with everything going on.” He sighed and stood, grabbing his keys off the dresser. “I was thinking we could all go out tonight. You, me, the pack. Do something fun, blow off some steam.”
“I’d like that.” And I meant it. The prospect of getting to know my new packmates, of feeling like I belonged, eased some of the tightness in my chest.
Rafe leaned in, fingers tilting my chin up. He brushed his lips over mine, the touch featherlight. Questioning. When I opened to him, he deepened the kiss, pouring all of his hunger, his longing, into it. His fingers tangled in my hair, nails raking against my scalp, as the taste of him washed over me.
Fuck, I wanted this man. I wanted all of him.
But all too soon, he broke away, leaving me breathless. A lazy smile spread across his face, and my stomach flipped. “I’ll see you later, then.”
He was gone before I could respond, the door clicking shut behind him. I sat there for a long moment, my fingers pressed to the spot his lips had touched.
Maybe, just maybe, this could work. Maybe I could find a place here, a purpose.
And maybe, if I was very lucky, I could find love, too.
The Rusty Pine Tavern’s door creaked open, a burst of humid summer air sweeping in along with us. Kai trailed a step behind, his boots scuffing the worn hardwood in a staccato rhythm. Kai bumped into my back as I hesitated on the threshold, nerves twisting in my gut.
“Come on, Mads,” Kai grumbled, prodding me forward. “Stop blocking the door.”
I shot him a glare over my shoulder but stepped inside, the mingled scents of stale beer and sawdust filling my lungs. This was it—my first foray into pack life.
My gaze swept the dimly lit interior, searching for a familiar face. A handful of townsfolk nursed drinks at the bar, their eyes following our entrance with a mix of curiosity and wariness. I tensed at their scrutiny, fighting the urge to bare my teeth in challenge.
Before I could dwell on the humans’ disdain, a burst of raucous laughter drew my attention to the far corner.
There, in the corner, I spotted them. Orion leaned over the pool table, cue in hand, while Brielle repeatedly tapped the other end to throw off his aim. Elise and Tara huddled near the dart board, heads bent close in conversation.
The knot of tension in my shoulders loosened a fraction. At least we wouldn’t be the only outsiders tonight.
I wove through the scattered tables and rickety chairs, Kai a silent shadow at my back. My stomach flipped as I scanned the rest of the bar, hoping to catch a glimpse of Rafe, but he was nowhere to be seen. Disappointment soured my excitement, even as a small part of me sighed in relief. After last night, the thought of facing him, of seeing that heated look in his eyes again, made my pulse race and my palms sweat.
It was all so new and so raw. The way my body responded to his, the way my wolf whined for his touch. It terrified me as much as it thrilled me.
Then there was his suggestion. I’d dwelled all day, feeling more and more like I’d walked into one of those naked exam nightmares. I didn’t have a single idea what I wanted to do in the next five minutes, let alone five years. A future didn’t feel real with Bowen’s threat still breathing down our necks.
Kai brushed past me, heading straight for the pool table. I trailed after him, skirting the edge of the room. The humans clustered at the bar eyed us warily, their conversation dying as we passed.
“Well, well, look who decided to grace us with their presence,” Orion drawled. He straightened, his lips curling in a smirk. “Thought you two might’ve gotten lost.”
“Nah, just fashionably late,” Kai retorted, snatching up a cue. “Rack ‘em up, big guy. I’m feeling lucky.”
Brielle snorted but began gathering the balls. “He’s not the one you should spend your luck on.”
“Now that’s just not nice, Bri.” Orion nudged her out of the way and leaned down, eyeing the pocket as he lined up the cue ball. “How is a man supposed to hustle the newbies when you give away the game?”
“What game?” Brielle’s nose crinkled in exaggerated confusion. “You’d need some to give it away.”
Orion took his shot, but the angle was off, sending the cue ball to spin uselessly along the table edge. Orion glared at his mate, who grinned back with pure, unrepentant glee. “Told you so.”
Elise, on the other hand, barely spared us a glance. She leaned against the wall, idly toying with a dart. The set of her jaw and the hardness in her eyes made it clear she had no interest in playing nice.
I tried not to let it bother me. I knew I had a long way to go in earning her trust, in proving myself to the pack. But damn if it didn’t sting.
“Here.” Tara materialized at my elbow, pushing a sweating pint glass into my hands. “Thought you could use a drink. First night out is always a little overwhelming.”
“That’s an understatement.” I huffed a laugh and took a grateful sip, the cold beer a welcome balm to my parched throat. “You’re new, too, then?”
Tara shuffled in her place. “Little less than a year. I trained to be a pack healer, but mine didn’t need me. I’ve filled in for a few packs before coming here.”
Pack healer was not for the faint of heart, considering how often we shifted and fought and injured ourselves. My mother had served as the pack’s healer. I admired her skills as much as I respected the sacrifice of constantly putting herself on the back burner until the very end.
It was not a path I wanted for myself.
“I’m glad you found a place here.”
Tara nodded, some of the tension draining from her shoulders. “Rafe’s a good alpha. He’s trying his best to build a good pack here.”
That, I could believe. He’d opened his home and his pack to Kai and I, people he barely knew... He didn’t have to put himself or his pack in danger. Bowen would’ve easily left us to deal with the mess on our own. Hell, our old alpha wanted us gone the moment Shauna’s ‘sullying’ came to light.
Not Rafe. Not?—
The thought died as my attention snapped to the door. A ripple went through the bar, conversations stuttering to a halt as a familiar figure stepped inside, his dark hair damp with rain.
Rafe.
My breath caught in my throat. He moved with confident grace, his presence commanding the room without a word. His gaze swept the bar, assessing, calculating, until it landed on me, brightening to an inhuman blue.
My skin prickled with awareness as our eyes met, the intensity of his stare sending a shiver down my spine. Memories of last night flooded back—the feel of his hands on my skin, the brush of his lips against my throat, the low growl that rumbled through his chest as he claimed me.
My wolf stirred, wanted to reaffirm that bond.
I swallowed hard, my mouth suddenly dry. Rafe crossed the room in long, purposeful strides, his eyes never leaving mine. Desire blazed brighter with every step.
Then he was in front of me, and all thoughts of polite conversation fled my mind. I inhaled sharply, his scent washing over me. Pine and leather, with a hint of rain.
My new favorite.
Rafe’s voice cut through my daze, low and rough. “Hey.”
“Hey,” I breathed, my heart hammering against my ribs. I licked my lips, tasting the lingering bitterness of beer. “I wasn’t sure you’d make it.”
The corner of his mouth twitched, a ghost of a smile. “Wouldn’t miss it. Pack’s first official bonding night with our new members.”
Our new members. The words settled like a warm weight in my chest. For the first time since arriving in Dusk Valley, I felt a flicker of belonging.
Rafe’s gaze drifted over my shoulder, his brow furrowing. I followed his line of sight to Kai, who was currently engaged in a heated debate with Orion over the finer points of pool hustling.
“He seems to be fitting in well,” Rafe observed, a note of surprise coloring his tone.
I snorted. “Kai’s always been good at making friends. It’s the keeping them part he struggles with.”
Rafe’s attention snapped back to me, his eyes searching mine. “And you?”
I shrugged, aiming for nonchalance even as my insides quivered. “I’m trying.”
Something softened in his expression, a flash of understanding. He leaned in closer, his breath tickling my ear. “Come on. Let’s see how fast we get kicked out.”
Rafe’s hand settled at the small of my back as he guided me towards the high-top the pack had claimed. I stiffened instinctively, unused to the affection and casual possessiveness. His touch was warm, electric, even through the thin fabric of my shirt, the soft circle of his fingers willing me to relax.
My wolf preened at the contact, tail thumping through my consciousness like a second heartbeat.
Mine.
Her obsession began with the first sniff of the man, and now, marked by him, she demanded more.
I leaned into him, relishing the solid strength of his body against mine. For a moment, I let myself imagine this was real. That we were just a normal couple on a normal date, without the specter of a convenient mating and pack politics hanging over our heads.
“So,” I began, aiming for casual and landing somewhere closer to first crush nerves. “How was the emergency? Did you manage to save the day?”
“Barely. The rain did a number on the site. We’ll be playing catch-up for weeks.” Rafe huffed a laugh, the sound rumbling through his chest. “Then I got tag teamed by Declan and Wyatt—alphas of the Crescent Hollow pack and bear-shit craziness, respectively. They hate me right now, but they’ve been apprised of the situation.”
I hummed in sympathy, tracing idle patterns on the condensation of my glass. “Sounds like a headache.”
“You have no idea. They haven’t had any other stray wolves stroll through their territories, so that’s a relief.” Rafe’s fingers flexed against my hip, drawing me closer. “But enough about the bullshit of my day. What about you? Did you give any thought to what we talked about this morning?”
My shoulders tensed, the easy comfort of the moment evaporating. The question hung between us, heavy with expectation.
What did I want?
It should’ve been a simple question. But every time I tried to imagine a future, to picture myself doing something, anything, my mind went blank. It was like staring into a void, an endless expanse of nothingness.
Following behind and serving as Kai’s apology mouthpiece had been my concern for so long. Maybe I craved it. Let it fill my time. Because otherwise what would I have done? While not as optionless as the Black Sands packs, females in mine were expected to focus on our mates and pups. If the males required it—preferred it, really—any precious few years of independence between maturation and mating counted for nothing.
So, what was the point of snatching any little bit of something for myself when it could be taken away on a whim?
“I...” My throat tightened, the words sticking. “I don’t know.”
Rafe’s brows shot together in concern. “Hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to have it all figured out right now.”
But I wanted to. I wanted to have a plan. Something to cling to in the midst of all this uncertainty.
“I just feel like I should know,” I confessed, my voice small. “Like I’m wasting this chance you’ve given me.”
“Maddy, listen to me.” Rafe cupped my cheek, his thumb stroking gently over my skin. “You’re not wasting anything. This is your life. It’s your choice. You don’t need to have it figured out all at once.”
His words eased the knot in my chest, my racing thoughts slowing to a steadier pace. He was right. I had time. Time to think, time to figure it out.
And I had him, and his pack, to shield me.
“Thank you,” I whispered, meaning it with every fiber of my being. “For understanding.”
Rafe’s lips quirked in a small smile, his eyes softening. “Anytime.”
The moment stretched out, suspended between us. Rafe’s eyes dropped to my mouth, his thumb tracing the curve of my lower lip. Hunger sparked in his gaze, desire burning white hot in the depths of blue. His touch sent shivers down my spine, my breath catching in my throat.
A loud whoop from the pool table broke the spell. We jerked apart as a chorus of groans rose from the spectators. Orion slumped over the table, glaring daggers at Kai, who did a ridiculous jig that I assume was supposed to be a victory lap.
“Fucking beginners’ luck,” the bigger male griped.
I chuckled as Kai sketched an obnoxious bow, sliding a hand up and down the cue. “Beginners’ luck, my ass! I just know how to handle my stick.”
Brielle patted her mate’s arm in mock sympathy, her eyes dancing at the string of grumbled curses dripping from his lips. “Don’t worry, babe. You’ll get him next time.”
“Yeah, right,” Kai scoffed. “I’m unbeatable.”
Rafe snorted, taking a long swig of my drink and setting it on the table with a thunk. “Care to put your money where your mouth is, hotshot?”
Kai grinned, all cocky bravado. “Bring it on, alpha.”
Not words he would dare utter to Bowen. Not ones he’d offer our old alpha, either.
This was what pack was supposed to be. Not the rigid hierarchy and oppressive rules I’d grown up with, but this easy camaraderie. This sense of belonging.
Rafe turned to me with an eyebrow climbing high. There was a glint of mischief in those intense blue eyes that had my pulse kicking up a notch. “Well? You game, little wolf?”
A teasing challenge laced his words, like he already knew my answer. The nickname, that deep rasp... it stirred an ache low in my belly, one I tamped down with an exaggerated roll of my eyes.
Rafe’s arm slipped around my waist, tugging me against his side. His thumb slipped under the hem of my shirt and made slow circles on my hip, the perfect mix of chaste and provocative, shooting little thrills through my system.
“They’re a handful,” he murmured, his voice dropping low.
Fates, he smelled good. The scent of pine and leather enveloped me, his breath warm against my neck.
“But they’re ours.”
Ours. The word echoed in my mind, settling into my bones. This was my pack now. My family.
The knot in my chest loosened and a relaxing warmth cascaded down my shoulders. For too long, I’d been stuck in survival mode, focused solely on keeping one step ahead of whatever new crisis loomed. Having the freedom to simply... breathe, to make choices for myself—it was as daunting as it was enticing.
But this felt right. Drinks and pool, no keeping to the sides. No watching for offense with the wrong word or ducking out of the path of the high-ranking males. Just fun. Just living.
“Well? I thought you were bringing it on, alpha.” I slipped out of his grasp, fighting my grin and walking backwards toward the table and future glory. Kai talked big game, but he never liked to admit who taught him . “I’ll have you begging for mercy before the night’s over.”
Rafe’s smirked, his gaze darkening with promise. “We’ll see about that.”