20. Paralysis
Chapter twenty
Paralysis
Ian Danvers and I pass each other in the clinic lot.
I'm pulling in while he's pulling out, window down, one hand on the wheel, the other near the open collar of his jacket. He sees me, nods and flashes a Cheshire cat smile in my direction.
There is no reason on earth for Ian Danvers to be leaving my clinic. Ever.
Especially not after hours.
Annie.
I pull into my space too fast and rush to get my door open. I leave my bag on the passenger seat and cross the lot as his car disappears behind the pharmacy. I take the front steps two at a time.
The front door is locked.
I pull out my keys and call out her name before I get the door all the way open.
“Annie?”
No answer.
The front is empty.
“Annie?” I move past reception and down the hall. As I round the corner, room two has the light on. I stop in the doorway.
Annie’s sitting on top of the exam table. Her legs are curled up. Her arms are wrapped around them. Her shoes are on the floor.
“Annie?” I cross to her, noting the paper on the exam table is torn and the trash can is pulled out from the wall and is full of wadded up paper as well.
What the fuck happened here.
She looks at me, and for one second she does not seem surprised to find me there. Then she blinks, and the expression changes.
“He’s gone,” I say.
“I know.” Her voice is even. “I locked the door after him.”
Too even.
I step into the room. “What did he do?”
“Doc.”
“What did he do to you?”
“He didn’t hurt me.”
“Annie.”
“He threatened me. That’s all.”
That’s all?
I walk over to the table and stand next to her.
She looks at me. Her eyes are wet and furious. “I hate him.”
The words are flat. Direct. No drama.
“I know.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Okay. I’m listening. Talk to me.”
“He came here because he wants me to support the cannery project. Publicly.”
“Ian was here to pressure you into endorsing him.”
“Yes.”
“What does support mean?”
“A public statement. A few comments about being open minded about the proposal. Something about Danvers Urban Renewal being professional and responsive.”
“You said no, right?”
She raises her hands to her face and runs her hands through her hair. “Mostly.”
I look at the torn paper again.“Annie.”
“I said what I had to say to get him out of here.” Her eyes close.
That’s answer enough. Frustration knots in my stomach.
That is when I see her wrist. Everything in me stops moving.
I take her hand. She pulls back. “Don’t.”
I hold out my hand.
“Doc, he didn’t hurt me.”
My hand doesn’t move. She looks at it for a few seconds before she gives me her wrist.
The mark is already red. Finger marks are already on the inside and the outside. He held her hard enough to leave marks.
I place my other hand gently over her wrist. I close my eyes and breathe through my nose. Every bone in my body wants to walk out the door and go hunt the son of a bitch down and make him explain himself with a few less teeth. But I stay and keep breathing. I’m not leaving her.
“He did this to you.” I keep my gaze on her wrist.
“Doc.”
I look at the paper in the trashcan. “Did he touch you anywhere else?”
“No.”
Her mouth moves, almost a smile and she reaches out and raises my chin to look at her. “He didn’t do anything else to me. He wouldn’t have walked out of here if he did.”
That makes me smile. I know she’s more than capable.
Her pulse jumps under my fingers. She knows I feel it. She looks away first.
She pulls her wrist back and tucks both hands under her arms again.
I keep my voice low. “Annie.”
Music starts playing, low and muffled, barely audible, soft and small.
“Do you hear that?”
She turns her head. “Yeah. Sounds like…”
Peanuts Christmas music.
Ellie’s ringtone.
For half a second, it makes no sense.
“El?”
The music keeps playing.
I step into the hall. “Ellie?”
No answer.
Annie slides off the table behind me. “Doc?”
I move toward reception. The ringtone keeps playing and gets louder.
Not inside.
Outside.
I unlock the front door and pull it open.
The music is coming from the bushes. My heart freezes.
I look over the railing. Ellie’s phone is lying, faceup. Screen spidered with cracks. Case split at the corner.
I reach down and pick it up as it stops ringing.
Missed Call: Erin Calder.
Every thought in my head narrows to one point.
Ellie would not leave this phone. Not willingly. My body knows it before my head catches up.
I call back. “Erin.”
“Dr. Bie?” Her voice changes. “Why are you on Ellie’s phone?”
“Erin, where is she?”
“She’s not with you?”
“No.”
“She was supposed to come over here.”
“When?”
“After school. She said she had to ask Annie about the project first. It was only supposed to take a few minutes.”
“What project?”
“For health class. It’s due in two weeks and she wanted to get some ideas from Annie.”
I look back.
Annie’s standing in the doorway, one hand pressed to the frame.
“She never made it to your house?”
“No. Mom said to call since she’s late and she’s not answering.”
“How late?”
“I don’t know. Almost an hour.”
I close my hand around the phone and close my eyes for half a second.
“Was she upset? Did she say anything? ”
“No. She was fine. She was joking about Mom making garlic bread since she said yours has too much garlic.”
That sounds like Ellie. That sounds like my kid.
“Erin, listen to me. Do me a favor and call around to see if she stopped by anyone else’s house or stopped to talk to anyone on the way to you?”
“Doc, do you think she’s missing?”
“No honey. I think my girl is chatting it up with someone somewhere and isn’t paying attention to the time. Will you see if you can find out for me?”
The lie costs nothing to keep a fourteen-year-old friend from freaking out.
“If anyone has seen her, give me a shout so I know?”
“Okay, Doc. Will do.”
“Hey, can I ask your mom a quick question?”
“Sure.” There is a shuffle, then Rhea comes on. “Doc?”
“Listen, I didn’t want to upset Erin, but I found Ellie’s phone outside in the bushes by the clinic. Broken. Erin says she was supposed to stop here and then come to you.”
“Oh God.”
“I’m calling the sheriff. Keep Erin inside. I told Erin that El is probably chatting it up with friends on the way to your place, and asked her to call around to see if she could find out with who. I didn’t want to freak her out. Like I am.”
“We’ll do it.”
“Rhea.”
“Yes?”
“Do not let Erin out that door.”
“I won’t.”
I hang up.
For a few seconds, I stand there with Ellie’s phone in my hand and rain starting to hit the steps.
Then I turn back to Annie.
“She never came inside,” Annie says. Her face changes and her hand covers her mouth.
“For Christ’s sake, Annie, talk to me. This is Ellie.”
“She didn’t come in.” The words come faster. “I didn’t see her. I didn’t hear her. I was in the back, and then Ian was there, and then...” She stops.
The space between us widens without anyone taking a step.
I watch her eyes fill with horror, knowing before I do.
“What?”
“Doc.”
“What?”
“She could have been here, she could have heard him.” Annie snaps her eyes closed.
“What Annie?” I take her hands. “What the fuck could she have heard?”
I don’t have time for mercies. My daughter is missing.
“What did Ian say?”
She opens her eyes and pulls back from me.
“He was trying to hurt me.”
My voice starts to get louder. “What did he say?”
“He said...” She swallows. “He said I was fucking you.” The words land hard between us.
“What?”
“He said I was playing mommy to your teenage brat. That I was pretending to care about her. That I was using you. Using her.”
“Jesus Christ.”
All the air leaves my lungs and my stomach retches. The world is suddenly spinning and I don’t know how to make it stop. I lean back and have to hold myself up on the desk.
Ian’s smile, Annie on the exam table with that mark around her wrist, the broken phone, the ugly words. It all lands in the same place.
If Ellie heard that. My god what could be going through her mind?
The last time I saw her she stood in our kitchen with her backpack over one shoulder and damp hair from the shower, talking about fishing and bread and lip balm and how Annie owned so many books. I listened to her talk. I let myself enjoy the sound of my kid happy.
She ran out the door before I could kiss her good-bye or say I loved her.
“I told him he didn’t know what he was talking about.” I barely hear her.
My mind is moving too fast and not fast enough.
“Doc,” Annie says.
I look at her.
“Did he see her?”
“I don’t know.”
“Could he have touched her?”
“No.” Annie’s answer is immediate, fierce. “No, Doc, I don’t think so.”
“You don’t think so?”
“I didn’t know she was here.”
The fear gets too big for my body.
“What the hell is going on between you and Ian?”
She jerks back like I hit her.
I hear myself. I know it is wrong.
I know it. I see it.
I cannot stop it.
“Doc.”
“My daughter is missing and the last thing she may have heard is that you were using her.”
“Doc. I didn’t.”
“I know that.”
“Then don’t say it like you don’t.”
“Goddamn it I can’t separate it right now, Annie. I can barely look at you and not see Ellie running."
Her mouth opens, then closes and her face turns white.
I hate the look on her face and that I put it there. But I don’t have time for that right now.
“Doc.”
I hold up my hand to silence her. “I need to find Ellie. I need to think, and I cannot do that while trying to understand whatever the fuck happened between you and Ian.”
“He came after me.”
“I’m calling the sheriff.”
“Jesus, you can’t tell him about Ian threatening me.”
The words stop me. “Are you fucking kidding me right now? My daughter could be god knows where, hurt or worse and you are worried about Ian’s feelings?”
She grabs my hand and looks at me with ice in her veins. “No. It's to save me. Not him. I would have explained everything tonight. But it doesn’t matter anymore. You do what you have to do. I won’t darken your doorstep anymore. But I am going out to look for Ellie.”
And she grabs her bag and walks out.