Chapter 18
DEJA
Cairo was loud. Even inside the Saad family estate, where the gates were guarded, the gardens were manicured, and the houses were so large that we never heard our neighbors, the city sounds found a way in.
I loved it. It was the soundtrack to my life, the horns beeping in the traffic and vendors calling out in the distance.
Our beautiful city vibrated with a restless energy that was unmatched anywhere else I’d visited in the world, and those sounds were a big part of it. I smiled as I leaned back on the lounger by the pool and tipped my face up toward the sun.
I had my own suite in our family home, complete with a sitting room and a balcony overlooking the gardens, but the pool was my favorite place on the whole property. When I had a spare moment, this was where my family always knew they could find me.
Jasmine, my younger sister, proved that when she lowered herself into the chair beside mine already wearing a swimsuit and with sunglasses covering half her face. Within seconds of sitting down, she accepted the drink from a staff member and turned to face me.
“Alright,” she said as soon as we were alone. “I’ve given you time to settle back in and get caught up on work.”
I smiled at her. “Uh, thank you?”
“You’re welcome, but what that means is that your reprieve is officially over. Tell me everything. I want to know what happened every second you were in America.”
I laughed but gave in. Resistance was futile when it came to Jasmine, who was not only my sister, but my best friend. I told her all about the trip, but even I noticed that the thing I spoke about most wasn’t a thing at all. It was Colin.
She gave me a soft smile when I finally fell silent. “Well, I’m glad you got to enjoy it for a while before the whole family gets involved.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Dad has already started telling everyone you might be getting engaged. You know as well as I do that our aunts are going to be all over us about it very soon. They’re going to be unbearable.”
I let my eyes slide shut for a brief moment. She wasn’t wrong. The women in my family considered matchmaking a recreational activity and wedding planning a job.
“Yeah, that’s actually what I’m most worried about in all this,” I admitted as I looked at her again. “I don’t know if he understands what he’ll be walking into when he comes here. Let’s face it, our family can be incredibly overwhelming.”
“Sure, but it sounds like he actually likes you. Sometimes, when you care about somebody, you have to just learn how to put up with their families. You don’t have to like them too.”
“Fair enough, but liking me in Chicago is one thing. Liking me in Cairo is another,” I said. “He gave me a month to think about it before I give him an answer, but I kind of feel like he needs a month or more here to gauge whether he actually wants to do this.”
“Is that the only thing you’re actually worried about, that he won’t like it here?
” she asked, frowning. “Dad is arranging your marriage, Deja. I feel like you should be more concerned about the fact that you’re not getting to choose your own husband, and hell, you probably won’t get to choose your own wedding date either. ”
I shrugged. “Colin is sweet, and modest, and fun to be around. If Dad had to choose anyone for me, I’m glad it’s him. I don’t really care about a wedding date either.”
Jasmine stared at me for a beat, then slowly broke into a grin. “Oh my God. That’s why you’re so chill about all this. It’s a whole new Deja.”
I rolled my eyes. “Don’t be dramatic.”
“You just described the man you’re going to marry as sweet and you smiled when you said it.”
“So what? He is sweet.”
“You hate people who are sweet.”
I reached for my sunglasses and put them back on, suddenly feeling too exposed for my own liking. “I don’t hate them, and besides, there’s a lot more to him than just being sweet.”
“Maybe, but he still doesn’t sound like your type.”
“I don’t have a type.”
“You do,” she said, pulling her sunglasses down her nose to peer at me over the frames. “Guys with overinflated egos who you can argue with.”
“Okay, so that might not be entirely inaccurate, but Colin is different.”
“Different how?” she asked immediately. “First, sweet is suddenly a good thing and now he’s different. What the hell did this guy do to you?”
“Nothing,” I said, turning to look out at the pool as I took a sip of my drink. “He just doesn’t need to be the loudest person in the room, you know? It’s like he knows he doesn’t have anything to prove. He’s just… Colin.”
She laughed. “You’re smiling again. Wow. It really is a whole new you.”
“It’s not,” I protested. “I don’t even know what you’re talking about. He’s hot too, okay? Is that what you wanted me to say? He’s really hot, and quiet, and thoughtful, and I like spending time with him, but that doesn’t mean I’ve changed.”
Jasmine sighed and leaned back on her chair. “Old Deja would’ve picked the man apart by now. She’d have found a problem with every hair on his head.”
I frowned. “What?”
“You know exactly what I mean. You’d have found fault with his hair, his clothes, his job, and probably even his handwriting if you ever saw it.”
My immediate thought was to deny everything she was saying, but I couldn’t.
The truth was that I had standards, and as far as I was concerned, they were very reasonable, but while Colin didn’t necessarily match everything I’d thought I wanted, there was just something about him I couldn’t quite put my finger on.
“I don’t know,” I admitted after a beat. “It’s just different with him.”
Jasmine tilted her head, sounding genuinely confused. “Why?”
I looked out at the gardens as I thought about it, but the answer wasn’t just one specific thing.
The men Jasmine and I had grown up around were usually impressive on paper.
They came from powerful families, wore expensive watches, drove expensive cars, and carried themselves like they were self-appointed royalty.
Some of them were charming. Some were handsome. Some were both, but none of them had felt right.
“The other men I’ve been with have been flashy,” I said. “They like the idea of us. The connections. The family name. The opportunities that being with one of us would offer.”
Jasmine didn’t have to say anything for me to know she understood. All it took was a tiny nod and massive sip of her drink.
Both of us knew that being a Saad came with a lot of advantages, but it also came with a giant question hanging over every relationship. Does this guy like me or what I bring to the table?
Especially since Jasmine and I were the only two girls. As far as we were concerned, our brothers had it much easier.
“You’re saying Colin isn’t like that?”
I smiled. “The only flashy thing about Colin is his watch. It’s a Rolex, but it looks like an antique he got from his great-grandfather.”
Jasmine burst out laughing. “You like the guy because he wears an heirloom. I’m not going to pretend to understand what that’s all about.”
“It’s about Colin’s watch not being about showing off,” I said quietly, ignoring her laughter as I watched the tops of the palm trees lining the perimeter of our garden swaying in the breeze. “He just not the kind of guy who expects people to notice him, and that’s why they do.”
Jasmine tapped her fingers against her glass. “Okay. What kind of car does he drive?”
“A Lexus.”
She stared at me for a beat. “A Lexus?”
“It’s a very nice car.”
“I’m sure it is, but let me just paraphrase this so you understand what I’m hearing. You’ve fallen for a man who wears a family Rolex and drives a sensible luxury vehicle.”
“Well, I mean, it sounds terrible when you say it like that.”
“It sounds like you’re eighty years old.”
I leaned over to throw a splash of water at her and she laughed again, but both of us fell silent when our mother appeared. Immediately, we both sat up straighter, pulling off our sunglasses to watch her approach.
Layla Saad would never just come out here to hang by the pool with her girls when she could be working. It was a family affliction, unfortunately, most of us completely addicted to productivity. Even I was only out here now because I’d needed some time away from it all to try to gather my thoughts.
“Hello, princesses,” she said, smiling warmly. “It’s hot out here today. Did we remember sunscreen?”
“Hi, Mama,” I said. “We did. Don’t worry.”
“I always worry. It’s a mother’s job.” She looked at Jasmine, her smiling fading slightly when she turned back to me. “We need to talk.”
I nodded, already knowing what this was about—the endless list of celebrations that would turn my impending marriage into a year-long, cross-border production. Everyone would be there, our entire extended family, our friends, and every other person my parents had ever met.
Engagements were a big deal here. If they excluded someone they’d met once at a dinner twenty years ago, they’d fret that person would feel offended. Honestly, I loved my family, but sometimes, I wished they knew the meaning of keeping things small and simple.
“Okay, I’m coming,” I said. “I just need to ask you a favor first.”
“A favor?” she asked, curiosity sparking to life in her gentle eyes. “What’s that?”
I stood and reached for my bag, pulling out a heavy envelope containing a letter I’d rewritten at least three times. As I handed it to her, I felt a spark of excitement mingling with a thread of nerves deep down inside.
“Can you give this to your assistant to mail for me?” I asked. “Preferably overnight.”
She smiled. “I’ll take care of it.”
I nodded my thanks, pretending not to notice the way both my mother and sister were looking at me right now. For me personally, the engagement, the wedding planning, and even the arranged marriage itself were nothing compared to this.
This was between Colin and me. It was building our relationship and exploring that connection I’d felt to him since pretty much the first time we’d met.
In that letter, I’d bared parts of my soul and I was finally ready for him to receive them. I just hoped he liked what he saw.