Chapter Nine Rayan
Chapter Nine
Rayan
As soon as the fire was doused, Rayan retired to the palace. He had no intention of partaking in the activities of the night. His heart beat for one person alone and he wasn’t sure he’d ever enjoy the touch of another.
So I must accept I am alone for the rest of my life.
Not alone, Ajax reminded him.
The obeah was somewhere north-east.
Not alone, Rayan agreed. He missed the obeah, but he was needed exactly where he was–following Lettle.
Rayan hadn’t told anyone that he’d asked Ajax to keep on her trail; he knew Furi wouldn’t approve. She’d noticed the obeah’s absence but he’d brushed it off time and time again.
He knew she thought he was lonely, but the truth was, he wasn’t. He’d been by Lettle’s side this whole time.
The first night after Lettle had left, Rayan had been plagued by nightmares about her journey. He’d woken filled with regret for all the things he wished he had said, all the things he wished he’d done.
Kissed her, held her, whispered how much he loved her.
Told her that I had forgiven her.
He’d realised it during one particularly harrowing night terror, where Lettle had fallen five hundred feet to her death. He’d run down the cliff’s path to reach her, only to find her barely breathing.
‘Lettle,’ he’d sobbed in his dream. ‘Stay with me, please, stay with me. I can’t live without you. I don’t care that you lied to me, I don’t care that you will one day kill me. Please, Lettle.’
He had cried against her chest until her breathing rattled to an end.
I don’t want to live without her, he’d thought as he’d awoken, his cheeks wet with grief. The trust between them had fractured, but they could mend it. They had to.
Or this will be the thing that kills me; the pain of not being loved by her.
So that morning he’d gone to the boundary edge and stood by the tunnel that led to the world beyond. He was so close to following Lettle out, turning his back on Mosima and everyone in it.
But to do so would condemn them to death. He could not leave for long periods of time without causing untold devastation to the city. They’d be forced to evacuate, straight into the front line of the elven army.
Let me go, Ajax had said. I will make sure nothing befalls her.
She cannot know you are there. He wasn’t sure how their time apart had changed her. After all, she’d been the one to insist that she go on this journey.
She will not see me, Ajax said.
Only intervene if necessary.
So off Ajax went, following Lettle at a distance. Rayan would spend hours of the day watching her through his obeah’s eyes. It was part of why he often retreated to his royal chambers. There he wouldn’t be bothered, there he could be with his love.
He took the stairs to his rooms two at a time.
Ajax, where are you now?
Lettle has entered the cave where Alder was found, I am watching her, Ajax replied.
How was the journey? Rayan was annoyed that preoccupation with the Flare Feast had kept him from following along.
She fell from the cliff, but I was able to help her.
Rayan stumbled as he crossed the threshold to his room. An image of Lettle dying flashed across his vision. She fell? Was she hurt?
She hurt her head, but she was well enough to make the rest of the journey.
And now they’re in the cave?
Yes.
The air in the royal chambers was stale with the smell of old food and discarded clothing. Rayan had banned servants from attending ever since he’d brought all of his work up from the war room. He couldn’t afford for any of his notes to go missing.
He went around the room lighting the torches with a flint. The flames vanquished the darkness, revealing the table in the centre of the room.
A map of the continent stretched across the wood. Once he would have been preoccupied with the tokens on the western side: the Elven Lands. But his mind was now wholly focused on the east, and the two little polished beads that represented Lettle and Ajax.
He sank into his chair, glad to finally be on his own. The arrival of Motogo and Malak had proved a distraction, and Furi would hear none of his excuses for staying in his chambers. So he had played the puppet for the day and been the king he knew the elves needed to see.
Now he could get back to Lettle.
It was easy to slip into Ajax’s sight. He more often looked through the obeah’s than his own nowadays.
Though the obeah’s senses were much more heightened than his, Rayan’s mind accounted for that fact, translating what he saw and smelled into sensations he could understand.
At first he had found it overwhelming maintaining his own sense of self while embodying Ajax.
But now he could fade away from his present moment, even with his eyes open, and cross the leagues between him and Lettle.
Ajax was watching her from the branches of an alder tree. The small party could just be seen through the gap in the rock.
Can you get closer? It had been a tricky balance avoiding Shera’s scent trail during the journey. On one occasion she appeared to recognise Ajax’s smell, but then the obeah had rolled in fox dung to put her off the trail.
Shera and Farhan have returned to Caperly. But there are more obeah here. I do not want to mask my scent again.
I need just a minute, I want to hear what is happening.
Rayan could sense Ajax’s disdain. For a creature of the forest, he was deeply conscious of cleanliness.
Perhaps it is the human in him, Rayan mused. He was less perturbed by the concept of obeah being humans than Yeeran was. Ajax had always been a person to him, with the same peculiarities that made any elf or fae unique.
I am what I am, Ajax said.
And I am glad to know you.
The obeah hummed a sound of happiness deep in his throat before jumping down from the tree. He crept forwards, his belly low to the ground, then pressed himself to the side of the cave’s entrance. Here he could see Lettle in her entirety.
She is so beautiful, Rayan thought, as he gazed at her. She was lit by a fraedia crystal, her braids tied in a knot above her head, revealing the curve of her neck. He longed to run his fingers along it.
She was speaking to Alder. ‘If you don’t go, I will.’ Her lips were bloodless and pinched, her eyes narrowed. Rayan knew this expression well–Lettle was about to do something risky. Something she probably shouldn’t.
She pressed her hands into a shallow puddle and said, ‘Aiftarri.’
The word jolted Rayan out of Ajax’s senses for a moment. The sudden change of being in his own body made him gasp and he looked around the room, confused.
It took him a few breaths to realise what had happened and he reached for Ajax’s sight once more.
She disappeared, Ajax said.
What do you mean, she disappeared?
She fell forward into the water and sank.
Rayan felt like he was mishearing Ajax. She’s just gone?
Yes.
You have to go after her, Rayan felt his heartbeat begin to stutter, pulling him back into his own body.
They’ll see me.
I don’t care. Go, Ajax!
The obeah needed no further encouragement; he launched through the cave and into the water.
All he had to follow was the light from Lettle’s fraedia.
It felt like it took forever for Ajax to reach her, though it was probably only half a minute.
Rayan could feel Ajax’s panic as he struck the bottom of the pool, but instead of meeting resistance he fell through the bottom and onto a stone floor. He landed on his feet next to Lettle.
She was lying on her stomach, blood seeping from a small cut on her head. Her eyes were closed.
Is she breathing? Rayan asked.
Yes.
Ajax nudged her onto her side with his nose. The cut on her forehead looked shallower than Rayan had feared.
Try waking her, Rayan said. He was pacing up and down his chambers. His sight connection to Ajax had become tenuous as he tried to contain his panic.
It was like his dream all over again, and he was helpless to prevent it.
Ajax pawed at Lettle’s chest and licked her cheeks, but neither action woke her.
Lettle disappeared from Rayan’s sight and he thought that he’d returned to his own gaze until he realised Ajax was looking up. He had heard something.
The ceiling of the cavern was uncanny to look at. The water was contained with what Rayan assumed was magic. It made Rayan feel lightheaded to look at it, like he was gazing at a pond upside down.
Someone’s coming, Ajax said.
The floor shook beneath him before stone and rock grew up from the ground to form a staircase.
Rayan’s first thought was: It looks just like the steps in Mosima that I conjured from the earth there.
But the thought was dismissed as the newcomer descended. Rayan recognised Alder even before his face appeared. He paused as he crossed the threshold from water to air, then continued, a small smile spreading across his features.
His clothes were sodden, his strawberry hair slick to his forehead. But as Rayan watched, each lock began to dry, curling upwards. His clothes too were changing from dark brown to pale, and as the water evaporated steam began to surround him.
He stepped through the cloud and noticed Ajax and Lettle for the first time.
‘La uda’anyuh huna?’ And who do we have here? Ajax translated.
Alder was speaking human. He approached Lettle and Ajax, his smile more lopsided than Rayan remembered.
Rayan knew with certainty: This is not Alder.
Ajax growled and extended his claws so that they scratched at the stone.
‘Alakhun, bagerah, khamsa’ah.’ Peace, brethren, I pose you no harm.
Ajax sheathed his claws and sat back on his haunches.
I don’t trust him, Ajax, be on your guard.
I–I can’t. It was rare that Ajax couldn’t clearly voice his thoughts. A surge of emotion crossed their connection and Rayan felt a wave of tranquillity calm his beating heart.
He told Ajax to be at peace and he is…
Rayan found himself walking to the doors of his chambers. He knew he wasn’t able to get to Lettle, but he also knew he couldn’t just sit and watch. Whatever was happening to Alder was significant. He had to tell the others.
‘She looks like she took a fall,’ Alder said. Rayan hated the delay as Ajax translated.
He tried not to trip as he walked down the stairs to the Royal Woodland, his gaze still flickering between his own and Ajax’s.
Don’t let him go near her, Ajax. This isn’t the Alder we know.
Ajax stepped in to block Alder from approaching Lettle.
‘Move aside,’ Alder said…and Ajax did.
Rayan cursed as he watched Alder crouch down and place two fingers to her neck. ‘Still alive,’ Alder said. He moved a braid from her face. ‘Beautiful too.’
Get off her. Rayan’s thoughts were hot with rage and Ajax began to whine.
Alder cocked his head at him.
‘You’re bound to someone watching, aren’t you?’
Rayan felt as though his flesh were being flayed as Alder scrutinised Ajax.
It’s like he sees me too.
Ajax heard them before Alder, and he looked up.
Lettle’s travel companions were coming down the stairs.
The pregnant elf, Mia, descended first, shivering and wet.
She slipped on the last step and fell on her bottom.
She was quickly joined by her partner whose landing was even less graceful.
Only the elder Nomad Mortah seemed to keep her balance as she crossed from water to air.
‘I knew I’d get the word eventually,’ Mia said with triumph.
‘Are you OK, did you hurt the babies?’ Dart cradled her stomach.
‘I’m fine. How is Lettle?’ she asked.
To Rayan’s relief Mortah was already treating Lettle, dabbing at the graze on her forehead. He paused before entering the Royal Woodland, watching to make sure Lettle was safe.
‘She’s unconscious and might have a concussion. I have some herbs that will help bring her round,’ Mortah said.
‘Alder? Why do you look so strange?’ Mia asked. It was true he looked odd. His expression was one of fascination, his lips stretched into a roguish smile.
‘Are you all here for me? ‘Alder said, but the elves didn’t understand him. ‘Ah, you speak the common tongue only?’ he said, changing language.
‘Have your memories come back to you?’ Mia said with sudden excitement.
‘I have returned to who I am, if that’s what you mean?’
‘Alder—’
‘Why do you keep calling me Alder?’
‘That’s your name.’
Alder laughed and it was like listening to a melody you knew being played in a different key. ‘No, it most certainly isn’t.’
Rayan moved between the trees of the woodland now but it was hard to keep track of both realities while looking for Yeeran and Furi.
A scream split the air, stopping him in his tracks. His first instinct was to check on Lettle. But to his relief, Mortah’s medicine was working and she was coming round.
The scream had come from deeper within the Royal Woodland and it was quickly followed by heaving sobs.
Dread crept along his skin, leaving the hairs raised. The cries reminded him once more of his nightmares. It was the sound of fathomless grief.
It was the sound of a lover losing their love.