Chapter 48
Dear Rosie,
Happiness, I’ve learned, doesn’t arrive all at once.
It doesn’t crash through the door and announce itself, like something earned.
It slips in quietly, taking shape in the spaces between moments.
In the things you don’t realize are changing until you look up and recognize your life looks a little different.
For the first time in a long time—since you—I’m happy, Rosie. I didn’t realize how lonely I’d been until I wasn’t anymore.
I’m happy in small, quiet ways. In shared coffee. In the warmth of her hand in mine. In the sound of her breathing beside me at night… even if we are sneaking around like teenagers.
It’s only been a few short weeks with Teagan, but she makes the quiet feel less empty. When I’m with her, I am alive in ways I thought were gone forever.
And if I’m being honest, it still terrifies me, because I remember what happened the last time I had something this good.
I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. I keep waiting for the moment the universe reminds me that happiness is temporary. That everything I love eventually disappears.
I don’t know how to live without that fear yet. I don’t know if I ever will.
But I do know this… she hasn’t asked me to stop loving you. She’s never once made me feel like my grief is something that needs to be hidden or fixed.
She just stands beside me, holding my hand and helping me navigate it. And somehow, that support makes it easier to breathe.
I hope you know this doesn’t mean I’m leaving you behind, because I’m carrying you forward into a new life that is so welcoming of you.
I miss you every day.
And that will never change.
Love Always,
Easton