Chapter Nine
Jase
Headlights flashed over the kitchen window, and I glanced up from scattering sea salt over the vegetables on the sheet pan. I squinted at the vehicle making its way up the drive, shoulders relaxing when I recognized Tyler’s Explorer.
She was late, but not enough I’d worried, although all of my texts since I’d gotten off work went unanswered. That wasn’t like her, but maybe she’d been late leaving work, too. Her GM was a stickler about employees not having their cell phones out, and my girl was a bit of a rule follower at heart.
Shoving the pan in the oven, I strode to the side door, ready to see her. Eagerness pulsed under my skin, a heavier anticipation settling low in my belly.
Parked under the carport, she sat in her car, head bowed on the steering wheel. I went cold at the sight of her hunched shoulders. Something was bad wrong.
Taking the steps two at a time, I stalked to tap on her window. Lifting her head, she pushed her tousled hair away from her face and opened the door. Not quite meeting my gaze, she turned sideways like she’d planned to exit the vehicle and lost all drive to move.
I caught a glimpse of red-rimmed eyes above her pinkened nose. She’d been crying, and she was wrecked. My lungs seized. I was going to kill a motherfucker.
Hunkering down so I could see her, I framed her thighs with gentle hands. She flinched, and I scowled, unease beating a hard drum under my skin. “What’s wrong?”
Her eyes filled, glistening in the yellow light of the old-fashioned fixture, and her shoulders slumped. “We can talk inside.”
My gut squirrelly, all pleasure gone, I straightened. Adrenaline pumped through my system, playing havoc with my heart rate. Those tears gutted me. She didn’t cry, and if someone had harmed her . . . well, Trace might have to call me down instead of Tate.
An arm about her, I walked her to the door. She didn’t push me away but didn’t curl into me either. That only drove my unease higher.
Inside, she dropped her bag in one of the kitchen chairs and covered her face with both hands. Small tremors shook her shoulders.
Now, my stress level hovered around DEFCON 1.
“Tyler, baby.” I wrapped her up close to my chest and kissed her temple. She trembled in my hold, vibrations that sank into me like a fist to the gut. “Please tell me what’s going on.”
With her arms folded between us, she kept her face buried in her hands. “I’m pregnant.”
I froze.
What?
A sob shuddered out of her, muffled by her palms. I suppressed the whoop of joy welling from my chest. She was telling me she was pregnant, and she didn’t act like she was happy about it.
That kinda hurt my feelings, but those could wait.
She needed understanding and reassurance from me.
She – and now our baby – came before everything.
“Okay.” I rubbed a hand down her spine and rested my chin on her hair. She’d changed her shampoo again, the herbal scent tickling my nose. “How do you feel about that?”
“What, you don’t want to ask me if it’s yours?” An ugly note hovered in her muffled voice.
“Well, you’re here telling me. If it were some other guy, you’d be somewhere else, telling him.” I tucked her hair behind her ear. “And I’d be planning how I was gonna whip his ass and keep you for myself.’
A broken huff of laughter escaped her.
She lifted her head, fine lines of stress about her bitter eyes. “Don’t you want to offer me money to get rid of it?”
I resisted the urge to jerk my head back like she’d punched me. That was part of her story – her mother’s story – for sure.
“No.” I pitched my voice quiet, firm. “Never.”
Once more, tears filled her eyes, spilling over her thick lashes. I swallowed a groan. I hated this, seeing her cry, but Daddy said sometimes a woman needed to and needed her man to hold space for it.
With a foot, I shoved a chair back from the table and dropped into it, pulling her onto my lap.
After tucking her face into my neck so she could cry it out to her heart’s content, I looped both arms about her and just held her.
Small, shuddering sobs shook her body, and I rested my cheek on her hair, stroking her hip and thigh, not shushing or trying to calm her.
I simply let her cry. Daddy was plain about how important that was, too.
Long moments later, she quieted, turning to rest her nose against my shoulder. I made another pass with my palm along her hip.
“Better?” I murmured into her hair.
She shrugged, the slightest roll of her shoulders, but Lord, the attitude in the tiny gesture. I eased a hand up to her nape, massaging the tense muscles there. She didn’t pull away, fisting a hand against my chest. “How are you so calm?”
A slight laugh worked up from my chest. “Why wouldn’t I be? You’re carrying my baby. I kinda wanted to let loose with a hell, yeah.”
Raising her head, she glared at me. “Are you nuts?”
“What?” I lifted a hand, palm up. “We get along like a house on fire and I care about you a lot. Why wouldn’t I be thrilled to have a baby with you?”
She stilled. “You care about me a lot.”
Had I said that wrong? A hint of panic licked at my belly. Way too soon to say I love you, but I did care about her, a lot. Pretty sure I was well on my way to loving her. I swallowed, desperate to generate some moisture in my suddenly dry mouth.
“I do.”
She softened, sagging into me. “And you’re not upset I’m pregnant.”
“I’m a little thrown.” Anybody would be. We’d been together about a hot minute, and this would be a fun conversation with Mama and Daddy, but upset? No. Kinda thought that was a hint of anticipation fizzing to life in my chest. “But I’m not upset.”
“What is wrong with you?”
“You know, you’re starting to hurt my feelings.” I narrowed my eyes, glad to see she’d calmed. She wasn’t as pale, and that made me feel better, too. . “Are you upset?”
“Well, obviously.” She sniffled and rubbed at the of end of her nose. “It’s get married, get a house, have a baby, not . . . hook up, go out a few times, find out you’re pregnant.”
“Well, we’re sitting in my house.” I wasn’t going to point out we’d been dating for a while now and that she’d taken me home to meet her mama. I tightened my hand on her hip. “We could get married.”
Lips parted, she stared. “You have lost your mind.”
Definitely hurting my feelings. “Why don’t you tell me how you feel about the baby?”
At the word baby, she blanched, color leaching from her face once more. Silence lingered, and my stomach flipped. She bit her bottom lip, pulling at the plump flesh with her teeth. Hands clenched in her lap, she flicked a glance up at me. “I think I want to have it.”
Relief poured through me, weakening every muscle so I felt like pulled taffy all over.
“Okay.” My voice cracked, and I cleared my throat. My chest rose and fell with a deep breath. “Okay.”
“I thought about being somebody’s mama, but like in the future.” She dropped her gaze, hands wound so tight her knuckles glowed. “About doing better than my mama by being like Mama Nancy.”
“You’re going to be great.” My voice came out hoarse. I chafed my thumb on the jut of her hipbone. “This baby’s lucky to have you.”
Mouth pursed, she shot me a stop bullshitting look.
“We’ll be all right, Tyler.” With one hand, I adjusted her on my lap, pulling her closer into me. A nervous lump lodged itself in my throat, and I cleared it once more. “Listen, I want you to think about marrying me for real.”
That earned me another one of those stop bullshitting looks.
“I’m serious.” I jostled her a little. “I’ll leave it up to you, and right now, we can build a relationship with or without the rings.”
My nape heated, and my belly flip-flopped again, the way it reacted whenever I faced down something that really mattered. Something I wanted and was afraid I’d fuck up.
She didn’t say anything.
I swallowed. “Being married makes all the baby stuff easier, though. You know, names and birth certificates and the legal stuff.”
For a long moment, she held my gaze. An emotion flickered in hers, almost like hurt, before her face smoothed over and she pushed back from my chest. “I’ll think about it, but no promises. This is a lot all by itself tonight, Jase.”
“I know.” I didn’t drag her close, even though my palms itched to. “I’d be a good husband.”
Once more, she went still, that hint of pain whispering through her hazel gaze. “I know you would.”
Silence stretched between us, a quiet that ached with a tense loss I didn’t understand. Finally, she eased off my lap and rubbed her palms down her thighs. “You’re feeding me tonight, right?”
I scrambled up, feeling like I’d broken an opportunity without realizing I held it in my hands and without knowing how I’d fractured it. “Yeah. Flank steak and roasted vegetables. Should be about ready.”
“Good.” Her smile was too bright, not nearly real enough. “I’m hungry.”
“Yeah.” I scrubbed a hand through my hair. “Tyler? We’re okay, right?”
“Sure.” Her lips stretched, and this smile wasn’t any better. “Peachy.”
I wasn’t stupid, but I also knew better than to push. She’d probably shut down on me, and I’d have to start all over again. Besides, everything had changed tonight. Now I was afraid I’d lose her.
And it scared me how I’d do almost anything to keep that from happening.