Chapter 7
CHAPTER 7
S leep evaded Ryan’s grasp throughout the night. Rising early, just before five o’clock that morning, he went into the kitchen. Seeing the back porch light on, he went over to the sliding glass door and looked out. His mother was back and sitting out on the patio.
He jerked open the sliding glass door, and she jumped.
“Mom?”
Wiping her eyes of tears, she shook her head. “Shouldn’t you be asleep, Ryan?”
Walking out, he shut the door behind him. “What’s going on? Why are you back randomly in the middle of the night?”
“The red eye flight was cheaper.”
“I met Linda yesterday.” He studied his mother carefully.
“Who? What on earth are you talking about?” His mother’s tone edged up, anger evident.
“Linda. She acted like she knew you. Called you Roni and told me you’d fill me in on the details between her and Dad?”
His mother’s face softened and a pain flickered in her brown eyes. “I try to not think of that woman. You must’ve found the transfers.”
Irritation grew inside him. She knew about the money. “Who is she, Mom? What on earth is going on? You knew about the money?”
She sighed. “Your father wasn’t the perfect man he made himself out to be to you kids, the church, or Cedarwood Creek.”
“So. Who is she?”
“She was his mistress years ago.”
Ryan was quiet. His feet carried him to a chair on the patio. He sat down, raking a hand through his hair. “So, they just had an ongoing affair and you just stayed with him the whole time?”
“No.” She shook her head. “I’d never put up with that. That was fifteen years ago, Son.”
Ryan touched his temple, confusion swirling in his thoughts. “Then why was he sending her money?”
Her gaze stared off in the distance. “That’s none of your business. Did you stop the transfers?”
“They were manual, so they stopped after he passed.”
“Good. I tried to convince him for years that it was time to cut her off, and he never did. I was so mad at him. Now, it’s done, finally.” His mother sighed with relief and stood, walking to the edge of the patio. She peered out at the streams of sunlight showing themselves on the horizon, signaling the first light of the approaching day.
Ryan walked up and stood beside his mother. After a long moment, she finally spoke.
“Your father was a pillar in this community, in our family. And he’s gone now. Don’t ruin his legacy by digging any deeper in this matter. The transfers are done and he’s gone.”
“I just want to know why he was sending her this money every month if they weren’t seeing each other.”
His mother turned to him, pausing as she appeared to search his eyes for worthiness of what she was about to say. “You won’t let this go, I can tell. Listen, he had a child with her.”
“A child?” Ryan fell a few steps backward. “No. No. This can’t be true.”
“It is.”
Ryan stopped and looked at his mother in a new way. She had been carrying this secret for his father for years. She stood by his side and protected him. Her cynical, overbearing, and often out of control jealousy were suddenly seen in a new light to Ryan. Moving closer to her, he wrapped his arms around his mother in a loving hug.
“I’m so sorry, Mom. I had no idea . . .”
“That was the point.” Squirming out of his hold, she shook her head. “You can’t tell anyone, Ryan. Not Jason, not your sisters, nobody.”
He shook his head. “Mom, I know you want to protect his reputation, but people should know the truth. They deserve it.”
Furrowing her eyebrows, she looked at him. “Really, Ryan? You think people deserve the truth? You think there is good reason to go around and tell people your father has a fifteen-year-old girl named Tiffany? If you do that, kiss the grill goodbye and just move back to California now.”
“What?”
She shook her head. “Your grill would be empty if people knew the truth about Frank. Nobody in this town would ever eat there.”
“I don’t think people are that vindictive, Mom.”
“You don’t know Cedarwood Creek. It’s not the same town you grew up in.” She shook her head. “This town is full of secrets. The judgmental people of this town would have a field day if they knew the truth about your father. It makes me sick to even think about it. Don’t tell anyone, for your father.”
“Okay. I won’t tell anyone.”
Finding a moment to split away from the morning routines, Emily went into the bedroom to find Ryan putting his shoes on.
“Did you talk to her?”
He nodded slowly but said nothing.
She touched his shoulder. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I don’t want to talk about it.” Standing, he went into the ensuite bathroom and shut the door. Feeling him slipping away from her again after finally getting him to open up last night on the front steps, she feared not acting. Going to the bathroom door, she knocked lightly without entering.
“Ryan, please talk to me. Don’t shut me out again. You finally opened your heart to me last night. That was just what I needed.”
He opened the door.
Concern filled his expression as his lips tightened and he shook his head. With tears welling in his eyes, he shook his head. “My dad had a kid with that woman Linda.”
Covering her mouth, Emily shook her head. “No . . .”
“Yep.” Stepping back in front of the mirror, he looked into the mirror as he continued. “A kid, Em. I feel like everything in my life was a lie.”
Proceeding into the bathroom, she came over to his side and leaned her head against his shoulder as she brought an arm up along his back. “Not everything, love.”
Kissing her forehead, he smiled. “That’s true.”
“Are you going to talk to Jason now that you know the full truth?”
He shook his head. “I can’t. I promised my mom I wouldn’t talk to anyone.”
“Carrying a secret isn’t good for the heart, Ryan.”
“Well, it’s my burden to bear, Em.” He sighed, then redirected. “I better get finished up here and get some website work done before I head to the grill.”
“And I need to get to the school. The principal wants to talk to me.”
Lifting his eyebrows, Ryan looked at her. “Why? What’d you do?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know, but we’re friends. I’m sure it’s nothing serious. She texted me this morning requesting that I come by her office.”
Gathering the kids, Emily headed to the school. The kids headed into the chapel for morning ceremonies while Emily went to the administration office to meet with the principal, her friend Sarah.
“Shut the door and have a seat.” Sarah’s voice was a bit firm, setting an uneasy feeling off inside Emily.
Sitting down slowly, she asked, “What’s going on?”
“It’s about Elizabeth.” Pulling a vape pen out from a drawer in her desk, she set it on the table. “This was found in Elizabeth’s locker.”
Emily’s heart dropped into her stomach. “What? Really? Wait, I don’t mind your searching her locker, but why . . .”
Lifting a hand, Sarah nodded. “I know it’s strange, but it was a mandatory search after hours last night because some teachers saw smoke in the girls’ bathroom during school hours. It was brought to my attention at the end of the day.”
Tilting her head as she touched her forehead, Emily then rubbed her temple as she sighed. “How is this possible? She doesn’t even have friends . . .”
“The teachers noticed Elizabeth and Jasmine walking out of the bathrooms shortly before the smoke was seen. Or steam. Whatever it is with vape pens. I don’t know. The point is, this can’t happen at our school. The school board is meeting this afternoon to determine the consequences for Elizabeth. Hopefully it can be a warning this first time. I also am going to pull Jasmine and Elizabeth out of class to talk with them here in an hour or so. But I wanted to give you a heads-up before all this goes down because I consider us friends.”
A hint of a smile lifted on Emily’s lips despite the situation. As tears began to fall onto her cheeks, she said, “Thank you, Sarah. I appreciate it.”
“I’m so sorry this is happening, girl.”
“Thank you. I have no idea why she did this, and it will not happen again. I promise you that.”
Rising to her feet, she exited the office and thought of calling Ryan but stopped herself. She wanted to talk to her daughter first, to try to understand the rationality behind her choices.
A little later in the day, during her lunch, Ryan called her.
“I can’t focus on anything.”
“Why?” She bit her lip. Had Sarah or the office called him?
“This stuff about my dad . . . it’s upsetting. He lied about everything.”
Relief filled her for a moment, then she responded to his comment about his father. “He wasn’t the perfect man we thought.”
“Great. Now you hate my dad.”
“No. I just . . . I feel gross about it, Ryan. He wasn’t the man I looked up to as a father all these years. I thought he was a great man of God, and I kind of feel like you, that everything was a lie.”
Ryan was quiet for a long moment. Then he finally spoke. “It’s upsetting, I know, Em. But I just have to believe he kept the truth away from us all for a reason. From what my mother said, this town would never be okay with what happened, and I know for a fact that my siblings would struggle with the revelation.”
“Why would they be okay with what happened? The truth is that he was a liar, and they deserve to know who Frank really was. I don’t know if it’s right to keep it from them all. Doing so will make you carry on the torch of deception.”
“I just don’t think telling them is a good idea. They don’t need to know.”
“Well, I guess the good news is at least Linda is behind us all.” Seeing another teacher standing by her classroom door, Emily continued, “I have to go. Love you.”
Ryan’s prevailing thoughts of the day circled around his father and the mysterious child who had been conceived. As he created a banner graphic for a client’s website, his prior trip to Spokane invaded his mind. Then, he remembered the child who answered Linda’s door. He froze, realizing that must’ve been his half-sister.
Jumping up from his desk, he raked a hand through his hair as the disturbance echoed through his being.
Unsettled, he began to go through his father’s desk, searching desperately for any information about Tiffany. Yet, there was nothing. Just old bills, notes, and various meaningless papers. Not even a photograph.
Unsatisfied, he went up into the attic.
Searching through boxes of old keepsakes and pictures, he still couldn’t find anything.
The only thing left in the attic was an old moving box in the corner labeled: Cedarwood Creek Grill Finances
He wondered just how far the payments went back. Was it a full fifteen years, or did he start recently?
Ryan walked over and got down on his knees. Opening the box up, he immediately found an envelope marked with his name on top.
Weird, he thought as he lifted it and slowly began to open it.
It was a letter.
Quickly unfolding it, he read it with trembling hands and welling tears.
Dear Ryan,
If you have found this letter, it can only mean one thing—I’m gone. To one degree or another, you have discovered I was not the man you believed me to be, and for that I’m eternally sorrowful. Knowing your heart, your character, and the type of man you are, I thought it best to leave the business to you alone. I felt like you would understand better than your siblings in what I’m about to tell you.
When your mother and I were younger, we had a lot of difficulties in our marriage. I blame myself for every one of them. I will spare you the details outside of what you need to know here, Son. You need to know your mother and I were separated for a time, and during that time, I made the mistake of sleeping with a woman named Linda McCammon. She ended up pregnant with a girl whom she named Tiffany. I spent weeks debating on what to do, seeking God and asking Him what He desired of me. I begged Him for a way out, but there was no easy decision to be made. I decided since I could not be a present father to Tiffany without ruining our lives as a family, I would send payments to help out. I felt it was the least and most I could do without ruining our family. This was my conviction. Your mother was okay with it at first, but she eventually grew wearisome of the arrangement. Your mother felt after the first few years that it was a waste of our money and Linda should take care of her own child. I, however, refused to cut her off.
I will not tell you what to do when it comes to Linda and Tiffany. Let God guide you, Son. Maybe God will prompt you to be more of a man than I ever could be in life.
One final thing before I say goodbye. I want to let you know I’m so proud of you, Son. I’m proud of the man you grew up to be in life, and I couldn’t have asked for a better firstborn. You taught me how to be a father when you were born, and you changed my world for the better. Until we meet again in Heaven, know that my love for you reaches into eternity.
Love,
Dad
Wiping his eyes, Ryan touched the words written by his father against his chest and looked up. “You changed my world too, Dad. I couldn’t have asked for a better father growing up and I love you forever.”
He peered at the letter again. He felt in that moment he understood why his father had never stopped the payments and couldn’t have imagined how difficult of a decision it was for him to not be in Tiffany’s life.