Chapter 9
CHAPTER 9
W alking back into her classroom after dropping off her second graders for music class, Emily sat down at her desk. Grading journal entries from that morning, she flipped through each student’s notebook, but her mind was elsewhere that afternoon. Ryan was back to being cold and distant. He had left that morning without even giving her a kiss goodbye. Her heart longed for stability, for her husband to be whole again, yet she saw no way through. With the constant shifts in mood, the desire to focus on those outside the family while neglecting those within his house, she just couldn’t imagine how God could fix it all. But she knew trusting God was the only thing she could do.
Her cellphone buzzed on her desk.
Glancing over, she saw it was Jason.
Something wasn’t right, she sensed it. He never called her.
She answered, “What’s wrong?”
“You need to get to the hospital now.”
Panic filled her as she stood. “What happened? What’s going on?”
“It’s Ryan. He was in a car accident.”
“No!” Numbness ran from her head to her toes. “What happened?”
“Just get here! He’s in surgery right now.”
Packing her belongings with trembling hands, she wept as she begged God to let her husband be okay. Suddenly, all the concerns she had about him melted away in an instant. The only thing that mattered was getting to him.
Shaking as she walked into the school office, she went past the receptionist and right into the principal’s office without knocking and interrupted a meeting.
“What’s wrong, Emily?” Sarah stood from behind her desk.
“Ryan’s in the hospital and I don’t know if he’s going to be okay. Is it alright if I leave?”
“Of course. We’ve got you covered here. Go to your husband!” Placing an arm around her shoulders, Sarah walked with her out of the office and out to the parking lot.
“He’s in surgery. We got into an argument yesterday and I just don’t want him to die without?—”
Sarah stopped her with a hand going up. “He won’t die, Emily. I can feel it. God’s got this, girl. Let me pray with you.”
She nodded and wiped her tears as she trembled and lowered her head.
Placing a hand on her shoulder, Sarah prayed. “God, we lift Ryan up to You right now. We come to the throne room of You, the Creator and Sustainer of our lives. We ask You, God, to spare this man. Not for our glory, but for Your glory, God. Let this situation work out Your will in Emily and Ryan’s life. I pray this in Your Heavenly and perfect name, Lord Jesus. Amen.”
As she got into the car a moment later, she rolled the window down and looked toward Sarah. “The kids! What do I do?”
“I’ll bring them to my house. Just go.”
“Thank you so much.” Shutting the car door, Emily made her way across town to the hospital.
She arrived in the surgery’s waiting room, and Jason rushed over to her, tears running down his face. “I’m so sorry, Emily . . .”
“What’s wrong?” Her stomach somersaulted. She touched her hand to his chest as she shook her head and asked, “He’s okay, right?”
Frowning, he held out his hands. “They just came out and said the surgery went well, but he had trouble coming out of anesthesia. They can’t wake him up.”
Collapsing, Emily reached out to grab hold of something, Jason catching her. “This can’t be happening . . .”
Jason sobbed and shook his head. “Let’s pray.”
Bowing her head, she never felt a prayer so strong in her heart and life.
He began with a tremble in his voice. “God . . . Please don’t take my brother away from me. I need him in my life. Emily needs him, the kids need him.” His words failed to keep going for a moment, then he continued. “God, You are sovereign, You are good, You are king of my life and the life of this family. For Your name’s sake, let Ryan live. Amen.”
Lifting her head, Emily started to think about her life moving forward and felt stuck in a thick darkness. Horror rippled through her from head to toe.
There was no life or future without Ryan.
As Jason helped her over and into a chair, a doctor suddenly came out. “In regard to Mr. Fitzgerald.”
They hurried over to the doctor, yet time seemed to stand still in that moment as they waited for the doctor to speak.
Jason lifted his eyebrows. “Give it to us, doc.”
The doctor removed his glasses and pulled down his surgical mask.
“We successfully woke him up and he’s in recovery now. He’s okay, and you will be able to see him shortly. I’m sorry for the scare.”
As the doctor left, Emily staggered over to a chair and started to cry and thank God profusely. Jason wrapped an arm around her and wept with her.
“God kept him alive, Em.” Jason smiled through the tears. “He kept him here!”
“Amen.”
They were able to recompose themselves entirely within a few minutes. Emily looked at Jason and shook her head. “We can’t let Ryan know this happened.”
“Why?”
She shook her head as more tears spilled out. “We just can’t. I don’t want to relive this moment ever again.”
“Okay.”
Emily and Jason were finally allowed to go see him. As she walked into the hospital room, her steps stopped short of the bed, alarmed by his physical appearance. He had bruises and cuts all over his face, and his arm was in a sling. Ryan looked like he had been jumped in a dark alley only to stumble out and into the road where he had been hit by a bus.
Walking closer to her husband, she grabbed his free hand gently and smoothed her thumb over the top of it as she whispered in her heart, “Thank You, God.”
Ryan’s eyes were still closed.
Jason walked to the end of the hospital bed and shook his head as he looked down at the floor. The weight of the situation out in the waiting room still appeared to weigh heavily on his heart.
“He’s lucky he didn’t die. That freeway can be crazy.”
“Why was he even on the freeway?” Emily asked Jason. “Where was he going?”
“No idea.” Jason smoothed a hand over his face. Sighing, he shook his head. “Hopefully he can clear that up when he wakes up.”
After an hour of watching the little television hanging on the wall, Jason stood up from the chair he was in.
“You hungry? I’m going down to the cafeteria and I can grab you a sandwich or something?”
“I’m not hungry, but I do need to eat. Thank you.”
Jason left to get food while Emily continued to sit patiently in a metal chair beside the hospital bed. Still holding his hand, she wept quietly as her mind kept replaying the few moments in the waiting room.
“I hate it when you cry.” Ryan’s voice was but a whisper. Looking up and over at him, she saw him awake and leapt to her feet.
“Ryan!” Leaning over, she kissed him and he moaned in pain. “Sorry.”
“What happened?”
“You were in a car accident. You don’t remember?” Emily furrowed her eyebrows, shaking her head.
“No. The last thing I remember was lying in the grass last night in the yard with you.”
She shook her head. “You can’t remember anything from this morning?”
He shook his head. “No.”
After visiting with the doctor a short time later, they learned it was common to lose part of your memory after a traumatic event such as a car wreck. There was a chance it could come back, but the doctor said time would tell.
After a restless night of sleep in the hospital, Ryan made his way out of bed and over to the window as the sun began to rise in Cedarwood Creek. He tried to recall the events of the accident but came up blank. How is this possible? he wondered as he saw birds sitting on a telephone wire outside his window. Adjusting his footing, he felt a wave of pain from his shoulder, and he coughed, causing pain to radiate in his torso and ribs.
A nurse walked in. “Good morning, Mr. Fitzgerald. How are you feeling? Must be good if you’re up.”
“I’ve been lying awake for hours. I’m in a lot of pain.”
“Let’s take care of that pain for you. Come lie back down.”
As she helped him into the bed, he shook his head. “Why did this happen to me?”
“Oh, sir. You have the Lord’s favor to be alive. Did you see the photos of the wreck you were in? Your brother showed me, and you’re lucky to be alive.”
He scoffed. “I don’t feel lucky.”
Crossing her arms, she shook her head slowly. “You have a perspective problem. God saved your life yesterday, and today you’re complaining?”
Ryan didn’t respond but looked away.
“We’re the biggest hospital around for these small towns nearby, and I tell everyone the same thing who comes in here with a near-miss on that freeway. God gave you a second chance. Don’t waste it.”
As the nurse left the room after administering the medicine, Bill, the head deacon of the church, stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame.
“Hello, Ryan.”
Looking away from Bill, Ryan looked toward his hospital room’s window. “What are you doing here?”
He slowly walked in and over to the hospital bed. “Heard about your accident. I wanted to see if you’re alright.”
“I’m fine.”
A sly smile lifted on Bill’s lips as he shook his head. “That’s not true, Ryan. And neither is the fact that your father was transferring money to a rescue mission in Spokane.”
Ryan’s heart pounded. He looked over at Bill with furrowed eyebrows. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Bill shook his head and placed a hand on his shoulder as he leaned in closer. “Your brother doesn’t realize his buddy who does research is my nephew. Listen, I’m going to find out the truth about your father, and when I do, you’re done in Cedarwood Creek. You and the Fitzgerald name.”
“Why does any of it matter to you, Bill? Seriously. What’s your problem, man?”
Bill relaxed, pulling himself away from Ryan’s bed. He walked over to the window, keeping his back to Ryan as he spoke. “Your father wounded me in a way I’ll never forget.”
“What?”
“He pressured me to confess my affair to my wife years ago. And then she left me.”
“So that’s his fault? I don’t get your vendetta.”
“Yes, it was his fault. And I know Frank has a secret.” Bill came over to the hospital bed once again. He shook his head as he narrowed his gaze on Ryan. “A few years ago, Frank needed help with his taxes, and I was feeling generous, even though I hadn’t forgotten what he had done to me. I remember those transfers. Thousands of dollars on his bank statements that he claimed went to a rescue mission in Spokane, but he wouldn’t claim them on his taxes as charity. He did with all his other giving and charity, but not that one. I’ve been trying to figure it out ever since.”
“Whatever, Bill.”
“They’ll run you out of town when I get to the bottom of it. You'd better pack the moving truck.”
As Bill walked out of the hospital room, Ryan stopped him with a few words. “I’ll pray for you.”
He paused, then left.
Uneasiness filled Ryan as he felt Bill might be close to discovering the truth. He started to think of the accident more.
A piece of his memory surfaced.
He could faintly see in his mind’s eyes the young girl answering Linda’s apartment door.
Tiffany.
Thoughts shifting, he recalled handing Linda an envelope of cash. Linda’s words in that moment came to his mind. “Thank you. Now we can pay for rent. We will figure something out so we don’t need more. I promise to try.”
Covering his mouth, Ryan’s eyes watered as he realized what he had done. He thought of Emily, how upset she would be. How could he tell her?
A while later, Emily knocked lightly on the door frame and walked into the hospital room.
Tilting her head as she approached, she smiled at him with love in her eyes and care in her tone. “How are you feeling, Ryan?”
“I’m okay. Where’s my mom?”
“She said she couldn’t come up here. After your dad died here, she just couldn’t do it.”
“Oh.” The reminder of being in the place where his father passed away filled him with uneasiness.
“You look like you saw an apparition or something. You sure you’re okay? Hey. Do you remember anything more today?”
He panicked, not wanting to upset his wife. He lied to the woman he had vowed to love and to cherish. “No. And I’m fine, just shaken by the realization that I’m in the place where my dad passed. How are the kids?”
“Good. They’re down the hallway getting a treat from the nurses’ station. Ryan, I need to tell you something.”
Sitting up more in the bed, he lifted his eyebrows and held out his hands.
“You struggled coming out of anesthesia.”
“Wow. Really?”
She nodded, tears streaming down her cheeks. “It was the worst moment ever, but I couldn’t keep it from you. I barely slept last night. It’s the truth, and I’m so happy you’re alive!”
He thought of his nurse’s words. God’s second chance . . .
As his kids came into the room, he thought about the fact that they could’ve been without a dad. His heart swelled with joy at God’s grace in his life. Motioning the boys over to get on the bed, Ryan welcomed them with an open arm even though their hugs and touches hurt.
“Careful, hun.” Emily smiled at him. “You’re injured.”
“I’m okay.” His eyes locked on Elizabeth as she hung near the door of the hospital room. Sharing a moment of eye contact, he frowned and tilted his head. “Hey, Princess.”
Tears were running down her cheeks as she came over to him. “I love you, Daddy! I’m sorry for what I did at school. It was wrong and I know that, and I promise never to do it again.”
“Whoa. Where’s this coming from?” Ryan shook his head as he looked into her eyes.
“You almost . . .” She glanced at Jack and Conner, then back at her father. “Died. And I just hated the thought of you going without a goodbye and with the thought of being upset with me.”
Frowning, he shook his head. “I love you and I could never stay upset with you. Even when you make some bone-headed decisions, it never changes my love for you.”
She hugged him and kissed his cheek.
After everyone went home around lunch, Ryan lay on his back in the hospital bed and stared at the ceiling tiles. His lie felt dirty, especially after the fact that she had told him about the near-death experience. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he directed his heart and mind toward God. Forgive me, Lord. Make this second chance count. Teach my heart what to do . . .