Chapter 11
CHAPTER 11
W aking to his wife sitting on the edge of the bed the next morning, Ryan sensed an uneasiness in her. He sat up and scooted himself against the headboard as he waited for her to speak.
She looked over at him, her eyes swollen and red. It was apparent she had been crying for some time.
“What’s wrong, Em?”
“You gave her money and hid it.”
Heaviness filled the air between them, and he lowered his gaze to the comforter over his body.
“And you lied about your memory of that day.”
“Wait.” Ryan looked at her, lifting his one good hand. “I didn’t remember right when I woke up. That wasn’t a lie.”
“Great.” She stood up and shook her head. “Is that supposed to make me feel better or something? That your memory came back, and you didn’t tell me?”
“No . . .”
Emily wiped her cheeks of tears as she looked up at the ceiling of their bedroom. “I’m trying so hard, Ryan. And it feels like you’re not trying at all. I can’t understand your choices. We used to be so close. We didn’t hide anything, ever.”
“I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“Well, you did. More than if you would’ve just been honest. And Jason was so upset.”
Ryan froze. “Wait, what? Jason knows?”
“You’re the one who told him.”
Ryan shook his head as he touched his forehead. “I thought that was a dream.”
“Nope. You spilled the family secret you thought was so important to hide. You see? You can’t just hide in your lies; they find you out.”
Shoving the blankets off, he got out of bed and searched for his jeans.
“What are you doing?”
“I have to go talk to him.”
“What about me, your wife?”
He stopped and looked at her. He wanted so badly to fix things between the two of them. “I love you, Emily. I just felt like I needed to help her. She was behind on rent, and I couldn’t help but feel like it was the right thing to do. She had called me that morning when I was at the grill, and she was crying hysterically talking about the eviction notice. She said that she and Tiffany were getting evicted unless they came up with the rent for the three months they owed. She was going to get kicked out onto the streets.”
Emily shook her head. “You should’ve told me, Ryan.”
“And you would’ve said what?” He pulled his jeans up over his boxers awkwardly with one hand.
“I . . . I don’t know. But you took away my choice. Do you get that? You took away my ability to respond when you just did it in secrecy.”
“Okay. Don’t help others. Got it. Can you help me with my shirt?”
Emily helped him get his shirt on. “Ryan. Helping others isn’t the issue. It’s the fact that you hid it from me. You broke my trust.”
“I’m sorry.” He sighed and then looked at the door. His mind was fixated on his brother knowing the family secret. “I can’t believe Jason knows. This is a mess. How’d he seem?”
She shook her head. “You don’t even care about us .”
“I do care but we will get through it. We’ll find a way. My brother? His world is turned upside down and backwards at this revelation.”
Going over to the closet, Ryan pulled down a box and retrieved an envelope.
“What’s that?”
“The letter.” He shoved it into a back pocket of his jeans and walked over to Emily. Grabbing her arm gently with his free one, he peered into his wife’s eyes. “Listen, I know I’ve made some dumb choices lately. A lot of them. But I promise things will be different now. God taught me some stuff while I laid on my back for two weeks. First of all, this relationship right here comes first.”
“That’s a little hard to believe right now . . .”
He shook his head. “I know, but it’s over, all the lying.”
She tilted her head. “Good. ’Cause I can’t take another disappointment.”
“I know.” Leaning in, he kissed her. “I love you, and I’ll be back in a bit.”
Driving over to his brother’s house, Ryan tried calling several times with no success. Knowing his brother, he probably took the day off to process. Pulling up to Jason’s house and seeing his truck in the driveway, confirmed Ryan’s suspicion. Pulling into the driveway next to his truck, he got out and went to the door. Rapping his knuckles against the door a few times, Ryan waited.
No answer.
He knocked again but didn’t stop until his brother finally answered.
Swinging the door open, Jason glared at him. “Can’t you take a hint?”
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for you to find out this way.”
Letting go of the door, it swung open as his brother proceeded over to his couch in the living room. Walking inside, Ryan noticed Chloe’s bedroom door open and her playing in her room with dolls.
Coming over to the couch, he sat down beside his brother and lowered his voice as he pulled the letter out from his back pocket. “I wanted you to see the letter Dad wrote me.”
Jason hesitated for a moment, then snatched it.
Unfolding the letter, Jason read it slowly.
Dropping the letter on the couch as he finished it, Jason stood and began to pace. “So, let me get this straight . . . Dad thought you were better than the rest of us? Is that why you came over here?”
“I don’t think ‘better’ is the right way to say it. I think he just got stuck in a hard place, and now I’m stuck.”
“You put yourself there when you decided to lie to me. You even lied to your wife, Bro.”
Ryan looked away. “I know. I was stupid. I just felt like I needed to help these people.”
“What?” Jason shook his head and sat back down. “You need to leave before I hit you.”
“Hit me? You understand that I could kick your butt if I wanted to, little bro. Even with only one good arm.”
Jason looked at him in that moment like he wanted to kill Ryan.
“What about faith? Trusting God? Praying? Where’s all that right now?”
Shaking his head, Jason glared again at him. “I forgive you, but that doesn’t mean I want to see you right now.”
“When’s a good time?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know. But I think you need to leave, Ryan.”
Taking the cue, he exited, shutting the door behind him.
Emily was unloading the kids at the house when Ryan pulled back into the driveway. She sensed in his expression that it didn’t go well at his brother’s house. Sending the kids inside, she met Ryan as he got out of the car.
“Didn’t go well?”
“He wants nothing to do with me . . .” Ryan sighed as he walked into the grass of the front yard. “I just keep messing up.”
“He’s upset about his father. It’s not about you, Ryan.”
“No, it’s about me, Em.” He shook his head as he looked at her. She could see him trying to fight tears back in his eyes as he continued, “The one other person I cared about in this town wants nothing to do with me now.”
“Oh, Ryan.” Emily’s voice was sympathetic and gentle as she continued. “God brought us here for a reason. I’m not sure exactly what that is, but we have to keep believing that. Right?”
“It would’ve just been so much easier to give the business to Jason and be done with it when I had the chance. I feel like my pride and stubbornness got in the way.”
She shook her head. “Frank trusted you with the business, with what to do when it comes to Linda, not Jason.”
“But you were so upset. You know that’s what Frank would’ve done if he were alive.”
“Correct, but that doesn’t mean I like being lied to by my husband.”
“You keep mentioning that.”
“Because it’s what bothers me the most.” She looked him in the eyes as she felt her heart pleading with him. “It’s always been us against all odds, and lately . . . it hasn’t felt that way.”
“Since my dad died.”
“Yes.” She touched his hand and shook her head. “But I get it. You’re on this weird journey with losing your father. Like you said, I can’t go on it with you, but I believe we can get through this together, Ryan. Do you believe that?”
“In a way, yes.”
Lifting her eyebrows, she shook her head. “But . . . ?”
“But I feel like there’s some stuff, like with the grill and specifically with Linda, that I need to do to honor my father. I can’t base my decisions on how everyone around me feels.”
“Right. If you did that, you would’ve never left your dead-end job at the City of San Diego to start your own business doing websites.”
“Exactly.” Ryan nodded. “Everyone was telling me it was wrong to quit that job.”
“I agree. And my parents hated you when we were dating, so if I had listened to them . . .”
Ryan smiled. “Yeah. We wouldn’t have the life and three wonderful children we have together.”
He took her hand in his and looked at the house. “Let’s move forward from this. Can we do that?”
“Absolutely.”
As they stood hand in hand, Emily felt a mixture of emotions swirling within the depths of her soul. She loved her husband deeply, and their marriage had weathered many storms, but she couldn’t shake the feeling of uncertainty for the future. All that had transpired had stirred questions of whether or not they’d last.
“Ryan,” Emily began to say, her voice soft, but firm, “I want to move forward together, but I need something.”
‘What, Em?”
“Trust.” She lifted her eyebrows as she continued. “I need to know that you will be honest with me no matter what moving forward. No more hiding. And the long hours at the grill aren’t good for us either.”
“I promise.”
“Think before you answer, Ryan. It’s serious.”
He nodded. “I am, and I promise to consult you before I make any other decisions. And cut down on time at the grill.”
Relief washed over her. “Thank you. That means the world to me.”
As they stood for a moment in silence, the weight of the conversation thick in the air, Emily felt hope in the midst of her uncertainty. She had to trust her husband, and she felt somewhat confident that she could.
With a newfound resolve between the both of them, they turned and started toward the front door of the house. She was ready to tackle whatever obstacles life handed them next.