Chapter 5
Five
Kira
Himoto always said that the hardest parts of war were the times between. After one battle but before the next. When you were on standby until the next scary thing arrived.
Never had Kira felt those words more keenly.
Uncertainty was a thorn under her skin as her mind went back and forth on possible outcomes. All the while her inner demons whispered of her failures. The things she could have done but hadn’t.
Kira closed her eyes and slowed her breathing.
In. And then out.
Over and over again until her fears receded.
Not gone. Never gone. But they no longer had a stranglehold over her.
Fear was a funny beast. It was a necessary part of the human and Tuann condition. Without it, you made arrogant mistakes, thinking you were invincible when you were a mere ant in front of the cosmos.
Kira had served with a few people like that in the war. Those who had either lost or gone numb to fear. The ones who started to believe themselves invincible. Invariably, they were the ones who died first. Often in circumstances that could have been prevented with just a tiny bit of caution.
Yet too much fear was as dangerous as too little, crippling you before you ever made a move.
As with all things, it was a balancing act.
This situation had pressed on every one of Kira’s triggers. Every fear and concern that she thought she’d put behind her.
Her inner demons had shown up and shone out as a result.
Big time.
It was hard to think with them hammering at her skull, demanding action.
In another time and space, a version of herself that was younger and slightly more impetuous would have been tempted to answer with violence.
She would have used her primus to throw herself against these walls, over and over until either they broke—or she did.
Whichever came first.
Kira took a steadying breath.
Losing herself to grief and rage had already led to failing her friends once. Those who’d survived when the rest of the Curs hadn’t.
People like Raider and Blue.
Jin.
She wouldn’t go down that road again. As long as there was a single person alive whom she counted as hers, she would hold the course.
She would be the Phoenix she needed to be and not fall apart.
She’d be their strength in the same way they’d been hers when they’d dragged her back to the land of the living.
That’s what a leader would do.
It’s what her uncle would do.
Kira breathed, slow, rhythmic in and out to center herself. Until anxiety and fear no longer ruled her and she existed in a state of quiet contemplation.
Alone with her thoughts, Kira had time to consider. To think and plan so that when the walls of her cell peeled back to admit Graydon, she no longer felt like she was going to come out of her skin. This was the time for careful schemes. Not brute force.
Seeing her peacefully lying there, one of Graydon’s eyebrows quirked. “I must admit, coli—I wasn’t sure what I’d be walking into, but this is unexpected.”
There was a hint of amusement in his features as Kira sat up to swing her legs over the edge of the bed.
“Where is the chaos and rage I was expecting?” he asked.
“Would you rather I be in my primus form? You could step back out and I could commit a little mayhem and destruction if it makes you feel better.”
“No need. I quite like the feeling of being your hero,” Graydon drawled with a smirk that didn’t quite hide the worry lurking in his eyes.
Whatever was happening behind the scenes, it appeared to have taken a toll on her lover, leaving him almost, Kira dare say, apprehensive.
Surely not.
Not Graydon. A man who exerted control in all things. Almost to a pathological level.
Graydon dropped the teasing act as he brushed a caress along her cheek before sliding his hand to the back of her head to probe the tender spot there. “How are you holding up?”
Kira winced, pushing his hand away. “I’ve had better days.”
Graydon’s eyes were the color of storm clouds as he focused on her. Dark gray and turbulent. A rim of black lined the edges of his iris.
Kira had always thought Graydon handsome. Brutally so. The sharp planes of his face conveyed power and fury. There was never any mistaking what he was. A warrior.
The rigid muscles that lined his arms and chest spoke to an existence dedicated to hard work and an endless training regimen that had resulted in wide shoulders and a chest that tapered into a narrow waist.
“I came as soon as I could,” Graydon told her.
Kira cupped his jaw, running her thumb along its length and smiling softly at the bristles she felt there. “I know you did. It’s good to see you.”
The admission felt torn out of her. A bit of vulnerability that even now she had to resist playing off like it didn’t matter.
Graydon touched her forehead with his. “I’ve missed you.”
Kira made a husky, choked sound. “Me too.”
More than she wished to admit.
His absence over the last few months had left a giant, mountain-sized hole in her life. He’d been away overseeing an expedition to the planet the Tsavitee had abandoned.
“Jin’s fine,” Graydon said before she could ask. “He’s awake and furious. Already demanding your release.”
A sob dragged at Kira’s throat. That was her Jin.
She’d felt him through the bond, but it was good to have confirmation.
“Elena and Elise are fine too. Wren got them out before the Nexus went up.”
Wanting to hide her tears, Kira pressed her face into the side of Graydon’s throat. He gently stroked her back.
“What about Finn and Raider?”
Despite how muffled Kira’s words were, Graydon understood. “A little banged up but they made it across the avenue. From the accounts I heard, they acquitted themselves well. They managed not to kill any of those who tried to obstruct their path.”
“That’s good.”
Very good.
She had barely dared to hope for such good news. Now that it was here, she felt almost light headed with relief.
Scrubbing at her eyes to wipe away the traces of her tears, Kira forced herself to pull back from Graydon. “When did you get back anyways?”
“A few hours ago.”
Kira didn’t ask why he hadn’t come to her immediately. His other duties would have taken precedence in a time like this. The emperor would have needed to be briefed on the situation and a plan made to address what had happened.
“It’s bad,” Graydon told her. “The Major Houses are calling for Harlow’s head.”
“Roake won’t give up its Overlord.”
One thing she was sure about her new family was that they were loyal to the bone. Even to save themselves, they wouldn’t disavow their Overlord.
“The emperor has called a meeting to discuss the situation, but there’s only so much he can do to run interference. With the Tuann rebellion straining our resources, he can’t afford to lose the loyalty of the Houses right now. It puts him in a difficult position.”
“What will happen if the emperor turns against Roake?” Kira asked.
“There are a variety of possible outcomes,” Graydon said carefully.
“Worst case?”
“He could exile the entire House. You would all become wanderers.”
“Has that ever happened before?”
“Once.”
From his tone of voice, Kira could tell it wasn’t something he wished to discuss.
“How likely is that?” she asked.
“Harlow and Roake have always been one of the emperor’s staunchest supporters and a big reason why none of the other Houses have ever made a real move on him.”
“So not very,” Kira guessed.
“Not unless they force his hand.”
They would definitely try. The situation was too good not to take advantage of.
She narrowed her eyes in thought. “It will be interesting to see which Houses are the most vocal in the call for Roake’s punishment.”
There was a tender look in Graydon’s eyes as he cupped the back of her neck. “Have I ever told you how much I love the way your mind works?”
Kira flashed him a mischievous smile, feeling lighter than she had in hours. “Maybe once or twice, but I won’t stop you if you want to tell me again.”
If they weren’t in a prison cell and likely under surveillance, she might have even let him show her.
But this wasn’t the time—or place.
Graydon sobered. “Harlow will have to find a way to pacify the other Overlords.”
“What about the copy? Can we use him to deflect blame?” Kira asked.
Graydon’s hesitation filled Kira with a sinking feeling.
“What is it?” she pressed.
“Caius is missing,” Graydon admitted.
Kira’s brows lowered as she went very still. “That is not good.”
“No.”
Without Caius to stand as witness, all the Overlords had was Roake’s assertions that they and Caius were victims in this plot.
“Does Harlow have any idea of where he went?” Kira asked.
“If he does, he’s not saying.”
Kira’s gaze lifted to find Graydon’s in sudden understanding. “He doesn’t trust that someone won’t try to eliminate Caius before he can be located.”
“Worse—he knows that the other Overlords won’t allow him or Roake to lead any investigation into this situation. Holding that information back is the only way he can retain control and give his people a chance to find and interrogate Caius before anyone else can.”
Kira blinked and looked away.
Her uncle was playing a dangerous game. If the other Overlords found out he hadn’t turned over all intel, they would use that to skin and roast him.
Metaphorically speaking.
“What about the doppelganger’s body? Can that be used as proof?” Kira asked, struggling to concentrate on the problem at hand and not worry for her uncle.
Harlow was an old, canny Tuann. He knew what he was doing. No doubt this wasn’t the first time someone had plotted against him. He’d survive this too.
“It’s gone missing,” Graydon admitted.
“How the hell did that happen?”
“I’m already looking into it.”
Kira almost pitied the poor fools whose actions had just put Graydon on their tail. He wouldn’t rest until he uncovered their guilt. Once that happened, they would be in for a world of hurt.