Chapter 20
ELIVANDER
Ionly wait as long as it takes her to clear the stairs before I sit up.
She actually left.
Good. It’s time to play.
“Wake up, Milo. Change of plans.”
He stirs, throwing a leg over Kaleida’s back and sleep-mumbling. “Hands off my sister.”
“Milo,” I hiss. They all managed to stay awake despite the late hour, listening to every godsdamn sound Never and I made in the bathroom, but now it’s like trying to wake a corpse.
He rolls the other way, abandoning Kaleida and hugging Sypher. I pull on his shirt collar. “I’m leaving. You’re in charge.”
Sleepy blue eyes blink up at me. “Where are you going?”
“After Never. She left for the Underbroke.”
That wakes him up. “Why would you let her do that?”
“I like a good chase.” I kneel down to go through my pack and pull on my suspenders. “Finish gathering supplies and go to the teva fields.”
Milo rubs the sleep from his eyes, yawning. “You can’t cross through Sonnet alone right now. It’s a death sentence. For her too.”
“I’m taking half the teva and ammo,” I say, sliding blade after blade back into place across my chest, the small pockets on my suspenders already loaded with marbles.
I slip a knife into each boot, another behind my back and my slingshot into a pocket.
Death is not a concern for me. But I’ll be aware of every second without my knife and think of her.
She spent a full ten minutes stealing it, easing it out of my side pocket bit by bit.
I’m not sure why she had to have that knife when eleven more were unattended on the floor.
Maybe she wanted me to catch her. Stop her?
Punish her? I held back. I could feel the worry in every beat of her heart, whether it was for Kelter, herself or me, I can’t know, but I felt it.
I wanted to gather her up and chain her to me to keep her from leaving.
But that would have been painful with her lack of control right now, and I couldn’t resist the chase.
But more than anything else, she needed to go.
Milo stands, stumbling and nearly stomping Sypher’s face. “Let me go with you.”
“No.”
“You’re as stubborn as Ever. Let me help.”
My strength falters. “I don’t need help. I only need her.” I stand up and throw the pack over my shoulder. “Get rid of that body before you leave for the fields. I don’t want her room to smell like rotted Hollow.”
“Eli?” He follows me to the door. I turn, catching the dread in his eyes. “Aren’t you worried about the second half of the curse?”
I flinch. Every second.
I told him about the cruel curse after I received my father’s memories and found out how much my mother’s other lover hated my existence. Milo’s the only one who knows about the full curse or cares to keep me in check.
I glance at the others, making sure they’re asleep. “There’s not a chance in the world she’ll ever love me.”
But what if she’s caught in the effects of the curse, drawn to my light side as much as my darkness? I have to control her heart… on the impossible chance I’m not completely unlovable.
Milo doesn’t know I stole a piece of her heart. As long as I hold her at a distance, I can keep her without triggering the rest of the curse. But every time I let her feel too much toward me, I have to fight to keep her heart in line.
Milo gives me a dubious look thrown off by his grin. “Her cries from the bathroom earlier might suggest otherwise, friend.”
That’s between her and me. I pull on my ear then cross my arms. “She likes a good fuck to distract her. That has nothing to do with love. Plus, I didn’t even touch her. I can’t.”
His eyes narrow. “Since when do you offer such favors? We know she’s not a Hollow, so what is it that has you so obsessed? Do you love her? Because then you really do need to worry about the curse. If she loves you back, it’s over.”
A true friend, at least I want to believe he would be, even without the curse only showing him my light side. “She has something I need. That’s it.”
Milo slaps a hand over my shoulder, squeezing. “You cut a man’s balls off to give to her. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.”
My jaw clenches at the truth he so easily sees. I’ve been too nice. That has to change, but I don’t know how to stay away, and lying to Milo gets me nowhere.
“You do love her.” He laughs and smacks the side of my head.
“She’s tolerable,” I grumble.
“Then go get her, and be the asshole I know you are, or you’re screwed.”
I’ll be screwed if I’m not there when it’s time, if only he’s there with her. “I know.” I leave Milo at the top of the stairs and go after Never, following the beat of her heart. She must be half a mile away by now, but I know right where to go.
It’s hours before dawn, the night air crisp but far from cold, even hot compared to Sonnet.
It took me only minutes to catch up to her, passing half a dozen dead bodies in the street on the way.
Now, deep into the Calderan forest, I keep my distance, watching her stuff food from a box into her mouth.
This realm has taken a turn for the worse.
She leaves a trail of dropped pieces behind—all the ones that miss her mouth.
Godsdammit. I can’t keep thinking about her mouth.
Or the way she runs her fingers over the tree bark as she passes.
And stops to listen to every sound. She put on her own clothes after her bath, and they’re driving me mad—light gray pants and a blue shirt that hug her body a whole lot closer than my clothes did.
She wears a pack from Caldera with long straps that swing at her sides, and even from this far back, I can hear the scrape of metal from the tiny tooth-like closures on it as she walks.
But with all the sounds and sights that constantly bombard my mind, all the thoughts from my ancestors, the one thing that hits me hardest is how she reaches for her thigh every minute or so, patting the pocket with my knife inside.
You’re safe, my Never.
I can’t wait for the perfect moment to take her back.
She thinks she can run and not be caught?
It won’t be easy since I can’t touch her.
But that won’t stop me. She’s mine, and she won’t forget it.
But I know why she has to go, especially with Kelter unable to leave the Underbroke now that he’s there.
Since the day I realized she wasn’t a Hollow, I’ve dreaded this. It makes me want to lock her up all over again. But I can’t. Not without the distance from him killing her. So I’ll let her run after Kelter all she wants—as long as she’s with me. And he doesn’t touch her.
I speed up, closing the space between us as her heart pounds with such heaviness it weighs me down. Her worry takes over, the hints of regret making it even harder to concentrate. We’re close to the border now, but any number of guards may still be hunting us.
She’s twenty paces away, leaves crunching beneath her step, branches creaking above. Her body quivers, as if a shiver ran down her spine, and she continues on.
The border.
I rush forward, waiting for the pressing sensation, the thickly woven magic separating the realms. I still remember the day the border was made.
The Centress at the time asked for volunteers to save all Vaile, to protect them from the dangers of Hollows.
They lined up between the two realms with the rest of Sonnet watching and grasped hands.
Their sacrifice was to be their magic, creating a border that hid Sonnet from Hollows.
But roots shot out of the dirt at their feet, wrapped around their ankles and pulled them underground.
I still hear their screams when I cross realms, the crack of bone.
No one dared stray from the Centress after that display.
But I’m positive Zandrite was involved. Because those were the unmistakable purple roots of teva from the fields above the Underbroke.
And shouldn’t have been anywhere near Caldera.
I push through the border, shaking off the memories… and the snow.
White surrounds me, not only the knee-deep layer I slog through, but swirling through the air in forceful punches. Behind me, Caldera looks the same, endless white where a warm forest was moments ago, the magic of the border in full effect.
And Never is nowhere to be seen, her heart weak. Untraceable.