Chapter 28
ELIVANDER
What the fuck is she doing on your lap? I ask Kelter, unable to look away from Never.
Seeing her through Kelter's mind isn't the same.
I hold back from going to her, rescuing her from his arms and carrying her away in mine.
Whatever kind of torture this is, to not be able to touch her and put up with his hands on her, it leaves scars too deep to heal.
But seeing her suffer is even worse. Dark circles frame her eyes.
She looks even more fragile from days of not eating, her whole body trembling, a layer of sweat coating her skin.
The pain is obvious. She was already off balance from holding in her darkness and resisting her mother’s magic, but now she’s on the verge of total imbalance from maturation and linking without any physical connection and release. And it’s deadly.
But I’ll do anything it takes to stop her suffering. The pain of touching her will only make me take her harder. He may be her link, but it’s my name on her tongue when she comes. I’m her everything.
I’m the keeper of her heart.
Why ask when you already know? Kelter drawls. I don’t have a choice.
My glare hardens. Because I still don’t want to see it.
Then you should have stayed hidden.
I couldn’t any longer. Though she has the kind of strength that can’t be rivaled, she’s half-starved and only has until morning before the imbalance of magic kills her, maybe less time. And I don’t want him anywhere near her in the coming hours. She needs me.
“Him.” I point at Kelter. “I choose him as my opponent.”
Never grabs his knee, turning her head to whisper in his ear. He leaves his thoughts open, letting me hear every panicked word. “What is he doing? He’s not a Half Link.”
Kelter whispers back to her. “He’s here for us, playing the part.”
I huff. I’m here for her.
“Don’t go, Kelt. Please. He’ll break you,” Never says, her quiet plea reaching me through Kelter’s mind—our mind.
And I’m looking forward to it, I add. His stupidity will cost him his balls.
I can hear you, Kelter says.
Let’s see how well you fight with both hands on your junk.
“Go on,” Zandrite urges Kelter. “He’s one of the shortest Half Links I’ve seen.
Should be easy. Let’s make it interesting since I’m getting impatient.
If you lose, I keep this one—starting tonight.
” He rolls his eyes over Never’s body, then takes her by the upper arm, easily lifting her from Kelter’s lap and onto his own in one motion.
No. It takes many lifetimes of experience to gain the restraint that keeps me from screaming out at my mistake. At my foolish need to rip her out of Kelter’s arms. I’ve only managed to send her into worse arms, into danger. And how is he touching her?
He’s a god, Kelter says.
Shit.
Kelter’s impression is visible now, his chest marked with the link to my woman, which means she has the same impression, circle after circle looped together. A permanent reminder of his connection to her, one I’ll never have.
But she’s still mine. And trying to make her hate me is pointless when I constantly fail.
I don’t know how to push her away anymore.
I don’t want to fight it. Everything about her is infectious.
The way she plays with her hands when she’s nervous.
The way she thinks her glare is anything but fucking adorable.
Gods—even the way she runs from me. She chooses her path and confronts anything that gets in the way, including me.
I can’t let her hate me when she’s all I think about.
But my hold on her heart will never fail. I will never let go.
I will never let her love me.
“Don’t touch me!” she yells, struggling to get away.
She’ll get herself killed. But shit is she perfect.
Zandrite yanks her hair, wrenching her head backward and exposing that suckable neck. She growls and elbows him in the stomach.
That’s my vicious girl.
I take a running step, set on attacking, but Kelter’s voice cuts through my determination. He’ll kill us both, idiot. Every single Half Link will attack at his command. Don’t move.
Dammit. I freeze. How could you give her to him, you sick bastard?
You’re well aware I have no intention of handing her off to anyone, including you.
And I think he’ll separate us so I won’t have to listen to you anymore.
I saw in your memories that you’ve known him forever, and he was loyal to you.
I know you were here in past lives, linkless and lonely, screwing your way through the years until you could return to the village where no one would remember you or ask how you’re still young, Kelter says, taking steady steps toward me.
His thoughts come all at once, so much faster than speech.
He was loyal, but that doesn’t mean he’s got any good in him.
And you blocked all of this from me until she was already here and in danger.
You let me think you were locked up and couldn’t come to her.
I wouldn’t have let her go if I knew about this.
We had a plan to destroy the teva fields. Hollows are dropping dead.
You don’t care about that.
I respond despite the wave of realization coming from him. He already found the answer in my thoughts. I don’t, but she does.
Let someone else do that! She can’t handle all of this, Kelter protests.
I’ll chain her up if she tries to leave me, but if she wants to burn down a quarter of Sonnet, I’ll stand by her side and hand her a fire stone.
Never fights Zandrite’s hold on her, but he’s only one threat of many in the arena.
The Half Links are thirsty for blood and will fuck anything that looks their way.
I have to get her out of here. The cheers and shouts become indistinct.
Light stones flicker on the far walls. I return my attention to Kelter, now in my face. I tilt my head. Godsdamn, he got tall.
Only one of us can win, and we both know who it will be, I say.
His shoulders lift in a nearly imperceptible shrug. It’ll be me.
Did you forget I can’t die?
Kelter’s eyes narrow to unnecessarily thin slits. What’s the point of a facial expression when I feel every emotion and hear every thought in the jerk’s head?
He smiles at that. Did you forget that if I lose, Zandrite is taking Ever? So either he takes her back to his room… or I do.
You want me to fake my death and let you win? I ask.
You have to.
I hate that I have to rely on him to keep her safe.
That I fail her over and over. But I had to choose him to fight.
I’m still weak around Never, enough that one of the Half Links might overpower me and reveal to the whole arena that I’m incapable of dying.
Then they’ll fear me and lock me up like in past lives.
I’m sure it doesn’t help that she keeps leaving you for me, Kelter taunts, once again listening beyond what I send him.
The crowd cheers as we circle each other, bouncing on the balls of our feet, fists up and ready. I push a curl out of one eye with the back of my hand. I should kill you. That would solve everything.
We don’t even know what would happen to you if I died. Kelter throws a jab at my face, and I duck out of the way.
Nothing. You’re dead weight. I let you live, and now you’re trying to take her from me.
“You took her from me!” Kelter hisses aloud.
It’s oddly pleasurable to watch him lose his shit, though I feel it all. I punch his jaw, swift and hard, knuckles meeting bone. The Half Links howl with approval. I tighten my fist, enjoying the throbbing sensation in my hand despite the pain in my own jaw from the blow.
He staggers sideways and spits blood—blood that I taste. This is more disturbing by the minute. I chance another quick look at Never. She hasn’t let up on her struggle, but Zandrite now has his hairy-ass arm across her throat. That fucker is going to die.
I haven’t trained since I was eight, Kelter says. You could go a little easier on me.
I ignore his whining. You didn’t want her.
You spent an entire year with her and left your hands behind your back and your dick in your pants.
She’s incredible, and you’re oblivious. I knock him to the ground and plant my knee between his shoulder blades.
He’s stronger than he was days ago but still no match for me.
You didn’t get my memories. You have no idea what I felt or did. He tries to escape.
I hold his head to the dirt with a fist to his temple, my knuckles slipping on his sweat. Have you counted how many times she’s called you ‘friend’? More times than I’ve shoved my tongue into her, and you know how long that went on.
Yet she’s linking with me. Because I’m the one she’s meant to be with. And don’t deny how she felt being close to me. I can tell when you pick up on her feelings.
Godsfuckingdammit. She was wet for me. I know it. ‘Meant to be’ is meaningless. You think my mom was meant to stab my dad to death? Then fuck you. Nothing is meant to be. It just is.
You wouldn’t be saying that if you were linking with her. He reaches for his pocket, and I’m only a second behind.
I slap my hand over his and take my knife, then unsheathe it with my teeth. You’re an ass for taking this back from her. I hold the blade against the side of his neck. And a dead man for trying to get her to touch you.
Yeah I did, because my urges from linking are through the godsdamn roof. I need to be with someone. It’s literally killing me every minute I’m not with her.
I draw blood and watch it drip down his neck. It’s satisfying. That does sound like the story of your death. Maybe I’ll do it.
She won’t forgive you. Kelter bends his neck away, a pathetic attempt to save his life. You don’t know what I’m going through. Damn, I’d even do you if you weren’t—he cuts himself off.