Chapter Sixteen
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
What was that weight across her chest? Something warm, something…Eden ran a hand along the arm. She opened her eyes, instantly awake, and then groaned as the previous night came back to her in sharp and mortifying detail. What the hell had she been thinking?
Cam slept peacefully beside her. She’d never seen him look like that before. Breathing steadily, the glow from the sun outside the curtains lighting his face, he looked younger, somehow almost vulnerable. She was so used to seeing the alpha side of him, the confident, swaggering career man, that it came as something of a shock.
But then she recalled how he’d been in bed. For a while, that man had been there, but as they’d become more intimate, he’d become gentler, considerate and…Eden might almost have called it loving. But they didn’t love each other. She still wasn’t sure she even liked him, despite the fact they were currently in bed together. But the night had been amazing. Whatever else she felt, she couldn’t deny there had been some deep connection that had been so much more than sex. Had she imagined that? Perhaps. She’d been drunk, after all. Sort of. When she really thought about it, could she honestly say she’d been drunk enough to blame what she’d instigated on the alcohol? Hadn’t she already wanted it, way before the first glass in the Dolphin? On some level she knew that to be true too, and she couldn’t quite decide whether the fact angered her or scared her. This wasn’t supposed to happen, and now that it had, things were about to get a whole lot more complicated.
He stirred and smiled in his sleep, and something stirred in Eden. She frowned.
Absolutely not. We’re not doing that again, ever , no matter how sexy he looks .
Moving his arm, she tried to get out of bed without waking him, not really sure if she ought to anyway. He couldn’t stay there; she had to get him out of the house as soon as she could.
Despite her efforts, he opened his eyes this time, and as he focused on her, he began to smile.
‘Good morning.’
‘Good morning. I’m just going to make coffee – want one?’
‘I seem to recall it was you making coffee that got us here. What was that you said about not getting ideas?’
‘I’ll take that as a yes. Come downstairs when you’re ready.’
‘You’re not bringing them back up here?’
‘I thought you’d want to get up. Don’t you have work today?’
‘At some point, yes, but there’s no rush. Bring them back to bed; we could talk.’
‘We can talk in the kitchen.’
‘But it’s nicer here. Warmer, more comfortable.’ He reached out to pull her back, but she swiped her hand out of his way and grabbed the dressing gown from a hook on the back of the bedroom door.
‘I’m sure, but neither of us will get much done today if we spend it in bed.’
He looked faintly disappointed but said nothing else.
Eden left him and headed down to the kitchen, but the image of him lying in bed looking so damn seductive wouldn’t leave her. Truthfully, she wanted to climb back in bed with him as much as he wanted it. Talk about muddying the waters. She’d just about stirred up the whole ocean bed with her little lapse.
Down in the kitchen, her phone lay on the table where she’d left it the night before. She noted a couple of unread text messages that must have come in overnight or this morning. One from Ralph asking about an extra shift and one from Livia wanting to know if she’d got home OK. Eden couldn’t help a wry smile. Livia didn’t really want to know if Eden had got home OK; more likely she was hoping to find out what had happened during the walk back with Cam. Eden was quite sure she’d never have guessed exactly what had happened, because she could hardly believe that herself, but she might assume that some discussion of the community kitchen would have taken place, and she perhaps hoped to hear that Eden had made some headway. She was typing a brief reply when Cam came into the kitchen.
‘Oh.’ Eden looked up from her phone. ‘I didn’t think you’d be down so quick.’
‘I thought I’d better do as I was told. Seemed like you meant business.’
‘Do you want some breakfast? I don’t have loads in, but I’m sure I can offer you something before you leave.’
He frowned slightly as he sat down at the table. ‘Whatever you have…Have I done something wrong? If it’s about last night, I’m sorry but?—’
‘Of course not. I wanted that too.’
‘And you had a good time? Because I did, and not just because…’
‘Yes.’
‘Then why are we here again?’
‘Where?’ Eden paused from searching her fridge for something she could put on toast.
‘Like two people who are at war? Why so formal again? I thought we might have got past that.’
‘I’m sure you’d like that, wouldn’t you? It would make your job easier.’
‘I’m actually offended you still think so little of me you’d say that.’
She pulled out an egg box and opened it up to find there would probably be enough to scramble and share. ‘Do you eat eggs?’
‘What? Yes, of course…You haven’t answered my question.’
‘You didn’t exactly ask one. You just said you were offended.’
‘So why are you being like this? I thought you wanted last night too.’
‘I did…’ Eden paused, softened by his expression. He seemed regretful. Was he wishing they hadn’t slept together? Part of her wished it too, but part of her had loved being with him so much that she couldn’t imagine undoing it. Without understanding why, it made her sad to think he might wish it hadn’t happened in the same way. ‘I did want to, and it was great…more than great. It was lovely.’
‘But…? I sense a but.’
‘There isn’t one.’
She put the eggs on the worktop then opened the dishwasher to fetch the saucepan she hadn’t yet had time to put away.
‘Oh,’ he said. ‘That’s OK then. Want me to make the coffee while you do that?’
Eden nodded as she cracked the eggs. ‘I’m going to scramble them because we only have three. It should stretch.’
He brushed past her, close enough that she could feel his breath on her neck as he went to the kettle. She almost melted from the sense of his proximity, and it was all she could do not to drop the eggs and turn to grab him. It would be all too easy to take him back up to her bedroom for another taste of what had been so delicious the night before, but she steeled herself and killed the desire. What good would it do? If things were complicated now, doing such a stupid thing would send it to a whole other level.
‘Sounds good,’ he said.
They were silent for a moment as he filled the kettle and she mixed the eggs with some milk and seasoning.
‘Because,’ he said into the gap, ‘if you had a good time, then I wondered if you fancied doing it again. Not the sex, I mean. But a drink. With intent this time.’
‘Intent?’ Eden dropped the fork into the sink. ‘Like a date?’
‘Why not? You look shocked. Is it such an awful idea?’
‘Ordinarily I’d say no, but you can’t be serious? With everything going on between us you think it’s a good idea to go on a date?’
‘Why not? We can keep it separate, surely? That’s business and this is…well, pleasure. At least I thought it might be.’
Eden shook her head, staring at him.
‘Ah,’ he said. ‘I see. In that case, perhaps I ought to go.’
‘Have your breakfast first.’
‘Thanks, but I’m sure I can catch the last half hour of breakfast at the hotel so I won’t trouble you.’ He began towards the doorway. ‘I don’t suppose you’ve seen my shoes…?’
‘I’m sorry,’ Eden said lamely. ‘I…You must understand? It’s easier for both of us if we don’t get any more involved than…’
‘I understand. I think it’s an oversimple way of looking at things, but if that’s what you want…’
It wasn’t what she wanted. She liked him. She more than liked him, and she wanted nothing more than what he wanted. But how could she? It would be madness to make this situation more difficult than she already had. As she watched him leave the room, she wanted to call him back. She wanted to say to hell with it, let’s go for that drink.
But she didn’t. His intentions seemed genuine, and perhaps they were – and if they were, then the mistake was on her. But how could she trust him? She couldn’t separate the fight for her community café from her personal feelings for him, even if he could. And if he said that, it still wouldn’t mean anything. If she lost herself – as she feared she might – if she strayed too far, she might find herself faced with an impossible choice: Cam or her community. If that were to happen, there really was no contest, and all she’d get for making the right choice was heartbreak. Better to end this before it went too far.
When he came back to the kitchen, he was dressed. Collecting his jacket from the chair where he’d left it the previous night, he nodded coolly.
‘So I’ll see you in a couple of days at the hut.’
‘You still want to come? I?—’
‘That was the agreement, wasn’t it? Don’t worry – I gave my word, and I won’t go back on it. I said I’d help for two weeks, and I will.’
‘Thank you,’ Eden said, wondering why she had the sudden urge to burst into tears.
Without another word, he turned to leave. Eden let out a sigh as she heard the front door close. She looked at the eggs in the pan and decided she wasn’t hungry after all.
Perhaps Eden had been feeling particularly vulnerable after Cam’s hasty exit, but an hour later, she dialled her dad’s phone number. She didn’t think a simple phone call had ever made her so anxious, but as soon as she heard his voice, the worry drained from her. Though she’d lost her nerve since the last call when he hadn’t picked up, afraid he wouldn’t want to speak to her, she realised now she’d needed to hear it, more than she ever imagined she would. His deep tones were like a blanket to wrap around her soul.
‘Hello, Eden,’ he said, as if there had never been any gulf between them, as if nothing had happened and she’d simply called after a busy week to ask how he was. ‘I’m glad you’ve decided to phone.’
‘Me too!’ she said, fighting back tears. ‘I’m so sorry, Dad.’
‘I’ve told you before, you have nothing to be sorry for.’
‘But I do!’
‘Is this why you disappeared?’
‘No…yes. I suppose so. Caitlin said you were upset.’
‘Not upset but worried. You didn’t have to go; we could have worked it out. Where are you?’
‘I’m…’
‘I won’t come over if you don’t want me to. I only want to know you’re all right.’
‘I know. I’m in Sea Glass Bay.’
‘Really? You mean the Sea Glass Bay where you used to complain about it being the most boring holiday place we could ever take you to?’
Eden gave a watery smile. ‘Weird, huh? I thought about where I wanted to be and…I don’t know. I know when I was a kid, I used to complain. But I used to complain about everything, didn’t I?’
‘You weren’t that bad?—’
‘Dad, I was. We both know it, and I don’t mind if you say so. But after Mum died, I thought about everything, and I just had the most brilliant memories of this place. I was always happy here, even when I said I wasn’t. I thought I could do with some of that.’
‘Has it changed much?’
‘Not as much as you’d imagine,’ she replied, deciding quickly not to tell him about the land-acquisition drama and how it had more or less taken over her life.
‘We had some good holidays there.’
‘We did. Dad, I…are you all right?’
‘Missing you. We all are.’
Eden doubted he was speaking for all the family. Caitlin, for one, was definitely not missing her. But to her surprise, she suddenly realised that she was missing Caitlin. Sour-faced, judgemental, disapproving Caitlin, the sister she could never please…Despite that, she was still Eden’s sister, and the thought of how long it had been since they’d last been together provoked a pang of longing that caught her completely off guard.
‘Do you think you might come home soon?’ he added. ‘Caitlin says you quit your job.’
‘I’d planned to stay here for a while, until things…well, until things settled.’
‘They’re settled now.’
‘I don’t know. Maybe with you, Dad, but I don’t think Caitlin is ready to forgive me yet – and I honestly don’t blame her. Besides, I have things going on here.’
‘You’ve met someone?’
Eden couldn’t help a small smile. If only he knew. ‘No, nothing like that. I’ve got involved in…well, I’ve got a job.’
‘Doing what you did in London? I didn’t think there’d be much call for?—’
‘At a pub, actually. Behind the bar.’
‘Oh.’
‘You’re shocked?’
‘I must admit I didn’t see you working behind a bar. But if you enjoy it, that’s the main thing.’
‘I do. I love the people I work with.’
‘Good for you then. Is it permanent? Is that why you don’t know when you can come back?’
‘Just for the summer, I think. I suppose things might change, but so far that’s all I’ve been asked to do. It’s not full-time, just shifts as and when. It suits me, gives me time to do other things.’
‘And you have enough money?’
‘I’m fine – don’t worry about that.’
Eden’s mind went back to all the times he’d asked that question and she’d taken the cash no matter whether she needed it or not, simply because it had been on offer, or all the times she’d asked for money for something frivolous or unnecessary just because she could. As she recalled that version of Eden Sherwood, she realised she was beginning to hate her. But she knew her dad would always ask and he’d always give what he could. She understood that in many ways he felt it was the only tool he had to stay relevant in her life, and the thought of that made her sad. Her past behaviour had probably made him feel that way. She didn’t know how to put it right, but she knew that she’d have to start trying.
‘I’ve got plenty,’ she said. ‘I have some put by, and I have the wages from my bar job, and I’m really not spending much at all here.’
‘But you’re not struggling?’
‘Not one bit. Dad…are you doing OK?’
‘Yes, don’t worry about me.’
‘Because Caitlin said?—’
‘You know what your sister is like; take no notice. She worries far too much.’
For the first time, Eden was glad about that. She was glad her sister was fussing over their dad because she wasn’t there to do it. But there was guilt too – guilt upon guilt. Eden knew she ought to be there. She could go home today, but now she had things going on here and it wasn’t so simple.
‘I started this…’ She searched for a way to make her dad understand what she was doing. He’d be confused, he would wonder why and she didn’t blame him. Most of the time she still didn’t understand what was driving her to keep the community café open; she only knew she had to. ‘It’s sort of a soup kitchen,’ she concluded, hating the term that Livia had warned her not to use but knowing her dad would instantly get it.
‘A soup kitchen? Like those places you see on the streets around Euston?’
‘Not exactly, but that’s the gist. Nicer than those. More like a café where people don’t have to pay the bill. I mean, they pay if they can afford to, but a lot don’t have all that much to give. That’s sort of the point.’
‘How can you make a profit?’
‘I don’t. I make enough to keep it going.’
‘Oh. That’s…’
Surprising? Eden could imagine why he might be grasping for the right reaction. She’d have been grasping too.
‘Well done,’ is all he managed. ‘That’s a wonderful thing to do. When you say you started it…?’
‘When I began working in the pub, I realised there were a lot of people here who struggle for the basics, and I thought I could help. I get a ton of support from the locals. I started it, but honestly I don’t do that much running of it. There are people here way better at that than me.’
‘I’m sure you’re just being modest. I’d like to come and see it, if I may. Not right away, of course, but perhaps when you’re ready for a visit.’
Eden smiled. ‘I’d like that, Dad.’
If it was still open after the next few weeks, of course. Eden knew only too well there were no guarantees of that.
‘For now,’ he continued, ‘tell me about it. I’m interested to know how it works.’
Eden’s smile grew, despite her misgivings. She began to tell her dad all about her café, so glad she’d finally picked up the phone.