Chapter Eighteen
A meeting that had involved every single person who’d ever known Bilbo or had anything to do with the community café resulted in agreement that after his funeral, and as more of a celebration of his life than a wake, their next community dinner would be a picnic on the beach. Anyone who wanted to come was invited, and anyone who wanted to contribute in any way was welcome. It would be about so much more than food. They’d be coming together to remember a man who’d been such a huge personality that his absence would be felt for many years to come, and who would have wanted his legacy to be happiness, not sorrow.
Eden, Ralph, Livia and Julia, along with Bilbo’s family and friends, took on the task of organising. It was a far bigger event than their usual dinner, and they’d need all the help they could get. But there was a sense of excitement too, of anticipation that it was going to be special, an event unlike anything Sea Glass Bay had seen before.
Caitlin and her dad were coming. Eden wondered if they might find it weird, attending what was essentially a wake for a man they’d never met, but they’d both wanted to support her through it when she’d told them what she was helping to organise, recognising that it mattered to her, that this community was now an important part of her life.
The weather couldn’t have been more perfect if Eden had ordered it. Julia said as much as they loaded the van they’d borrowed from Ralph to transport their supplies to the beach. They had so much stock that they’d been forced to store it wherever they could find space: at the ice-cream parlour, at Eden’s house, in Ralph’s storerooms, at the scout hut and one or two other places. Now they had to remember where it all was and collect it, and that task was proving trickier than any of them had anticipated. They were currently loading up the items Eden had been keeping in her kitchen for the past week. Livia and the children were doing their best to help, though it could have been argued that the children were slowing everything down – not that anyone for a moment would have asked them to stop. In fact, it was entertaining to listen to their conversation as they worked.
‘I can carry way more than you,’ Levi said to Nancy, at which point she looked faintly outraged and tried to pile another stack of paper plates onto the pile she already had in her arms. Predictably, all she succeeded in doing was making sure she dropped the lot.
‘See what you made me do,’ she grumbled as Levi laughed at her.
‘I told you I could carry more.’
‘Grandma!’ Nancy whined. ‘Tell him! He’s laughing at me!’
Eden wanted to laugh too – not because she thought Nancy’s predicament funny but because they were both so damn cute. Of course, she realised that was the last thing she ought to do, and it was quite a battle to keep her face straight as she went over to help pick everything up.
‘Don’t worry about it,’ she told Nancy. ‘You win some, you lose some. Levi won this time, but you might win next. The main thing is you’re trying.’
‘But Levi laughed at me!’
‘Yes, but you can be bigger than that, can’t you? People will laugh at you sometimes when you’re trying to do something and it’s not working, but you don’t have to let it upset you or let it stop you.’ Eden put the stack of plates into Nancy’s arms again, along with the extra one. ‘There, see? You only needed some help because your arms were already full. If you’d picked all these up at first, you’d have carried them easily. When your arms are too full, all you have to do is ask. Someone will always help, but they won’t if they don’t know you need it.’
Nancy smiled and then trotted off to the van with a new purpose in her stride.
‘Nice TED talk,’ Livia said from behind Eden. ‘You should do it for a living.’
‘I’m the last person to be giving out life advice.’
‘Oh, I don’t know. I think you’ve got more to offer than you realise. After all, when you’ve lived it, you can talk about it, right? What time did your sister and dad say they’d be coming?’
Eden gave her a grateful smile. She wondered, not for the first time, why she’d been so afraid to share the events that had led up to her mum’s death with Livia because when she finally did, Livia hadn’t judged at all. Just as Eden had hoped and as she ought to have known, Livia had listened and then told Eden that she couldn’t keep punishing herself for a mistake, no matter how big. She also decided that, in the process of punishing herself, Eden had inadvertently punished her family by disappearing from their lives. Caitlin had said something similar, but Livia’s way of putting it had been far gentler.
‘I was hoping they’d be here for the start, but Caitlin texted me to say they’d hit traffic so they might be late.’
‘That’s a shame.’
‘Yes, but I suppose it can’t be helped. It’s a miracle they’re coming at all – at least, it’s a miracle Caitlin is.’
‘Look on the bright side – you were worried you’d be neglecting them while we got set up, so if they arrive later, everything should more or less be ticking along, and you’ll be able to give them your full attention. If you need to pop up to Four Winds when they arrive to let them in with their stuff, I can hold the fort here.’
‘Actually, Dad booked a hotel for them.’
‘Oh.’
‘It’s OK,’ Eden said. ‘It’s the first time we’ve all been together since I left, and I wonder if Caitlin had some kind of conversation with him about breathing space. I have to agree, I think it’s a good idea we’re not all staying at Four Winds. We’ll see how this couple of days goes, and then maybe we can move forward together to a day when it will be fine, but until then…’
Livia laid a hand on her arm. ‘I think that’s probably sensible. But you’re really OK with it?’
‘Of course. I’m just glad they’re coming.’
‘So…Have you heard from Cam?’
‘Not since he left.’
‘You haven’t even texted him?’
‘I messaged him about this thing today, but he didn’t reply, so it’s obvious he thinks that’s the end of it.’
‘I still say you’re both being idiots. One of you needs to say something.’
‘There’s nothing to say. He won the bet – the land will soon be gone and the scout hut with it. I know he said he’d help set something up in its place but…’ Eden shrugged. ‘Realistically, I don’t think that will happen. Out of sight, out of mind. He might have felt that way while he was in the bay, but I doubt he’ll remember his promise now.’
‘What about the fact that you liked him?’
‘I liked him because…I don’t know why. Because I was being stupid. It was never going anywhere.’
‘He liked you too.’
‘It was intense, the drama that was going on between us, and we got swept up in that. It didn’t mean anything; it wasn’t real. It was just…’ She cast around for a way to explain, but she couldn’t find one. ‘Sexy,’ she concluded lamely.
Livia raised her eyebrows. ‘Arguing over a scout hut made you both horny? Is that what you’re saying? And you’re actually standing by that rubbish?’
‘I know,’ Eden said. ‘Whatever it was, he’s gone, and that’s that. It must not have meant enough to him to come back to the bay, so why would I go chasing it?’
‘It’s only been a few weeks, and he might have been busy.’
‘Yes, busy selling our land.’
‘It was never our land. We knew this would likely happen when you started the café up, remember?’
‘I know, but?—’
‘Are you two going to stand there chatting all day?’
Both Eden and Livia looked around to see Julia, arms folded across her chest, grinning at them.
‘We’re not your hired help, you know,’ she continued. ‘Poor Levi and Nancy are like child labour here, doing all the work. Let’s get moving!’
Livia turned to Eden as she made a move towards the van. ‘Call him!’ she said sternly. ‘That’s all I’m saying. Stop trying to guess what’s in his head and call him!’
Eden gave a wan smile. It might have made perfect sense to Livia, but it wasn’t so simple. She couldn’t deny she’d missed Cam since he’d gone, but it seemed theirs were two worlds that should never have collided. He’d gone back to a life she’d renounced, and perhaps it was for the best that he hadn’t been in contact since.
What she hadn’t told Livia was that she’d emailed him at work and invited him to today’s event, and that he hadn’t replied. She wasn’t sure why she’d kept this to herself, but perhaps it was because she felt foolish for ever believing there was something between them. As she’d told Livia, on reflection, she’d decided it had all been down to the heat of the moment, the drama they’d both fixated on, a situation that had become charged beyond reason because they’d both wanted to win so badly, and that charge had somehow turned into lust. That had to be it. Maybe it hadn’t been quite so simple for Eden, but it seemed that was exactly how it had been for Cam.
When they got to the beach two hours later, every bit of food and equipment collected up, most of their helpers with their own contributions were already there waiting for them. Eden shot a glance of misgiving at Livia and swore under her breath. She ought to have been there to greet them. It wasn’t the best start to the day.
Livia seemed to read her thoughts. ‘Stop stressing. Nobody is bothered about us being a bit late but you. You don’t have to be superwoman all the time, you know.’
‘We’re more than a bit late.’
Livia folded her arms and shot Eden a wry sideways glance. ‘Were you like this in your old job?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘All I can say is God help the people you worked with if you were.’
Livia was right: nobody seemed to be too concerned with their lateness. In fact, everyone seemed more than pleased to see them, eager to get things underway. Some had already set out blankets and chairs on the sand. Ralph had taken time off to bring a huge grill down and was currently trying to get it lit while one of his kitchen staff was pricking mounds of sausages ready to go onto it. At the sight of him, Levi raced over.
‘Are you cooking sausages, Ralph?’
‘Oh,’ Ralph said, with such dry weariness it was all Eden could do not to burst out laughing. ‘It’s you. The sausage fiend. If I’d have known you were coming I’d have hidden them.’ Levi giggled, and then Ralph broke into a grin. ‘Of course we’re having sausages, Levi. As if we could invite you to a party without any.’
Levi thrust his fist into the air. ‘Yes!’
He then set up camp on the sand close to the grill, watching as they prepared the food.
‘Three guesses what menu item he’s most excited about,’ Julia said as she swished past Eden and Livia with tubs of potato salad balanced in her arms. She was followed by Nancy, who cradled a single cheesecake with such love that Eden had to laugh again. They headed for a collection of tables that had been set up on the sand.
‘I think we’ve figured out what Nancy is most excited about too.’
Livia looked across and smiled. ‘If she could have put her name on that, she would have done.’
Eden gazed around at the activity and took a deep breath. The breeze drifting across the beach had that peculiar tang of salt that somehow calmed the soul, and that was how Eden felt. She’d been stressed on arrival, annoyed that her schedule was out, but now she was here amongst friends in the most beautiful place in the world, she was happy. Livia and Julia were right: nobody cared if things didn’t run to plan. The important thing was they were here, celebrating their community and the life of a man who’d meant so much to them. The important thing was they were together. Eden might have some residual anxiety about the arrival of her sister and dad, but even that wasn’t strong enough to diminish this moment of contentment.
‘Bilbo would have loved this…’
Eden spun round to see his friend, Mavis. Bilbo’s great-grandson, Liam, was supporting her as she walked. Even during the short time Eden had known Mavis, she seemed to have become so much frailer. Perhaps it was because, since Bilbo’s death, she’d stopped going to the tea dances they’d done together. The notion that some of the people she’d grown so attached to might not be here for much longer made Eden melancholy, but she tried to shake that feeling as she smiled brightly at the old lady.
‘I think you’re right.’ She looked at Liam. ‘How are you?’
‘All right,’ Liam said.
‘And your family? They’re all coping?’
Liam gave a vague shrug. He’d always been shy, difficult to engage in conversation, but it was clear he’d adored his great-grandfather, and he was a sweet young man with a good heart. He’d helped out at the community café since the beginning, which was a lot more than many boys of his age would have done. ‘They’re coming down in a bit.’
‘That’s good,’ Eden said. ‘I haven’t seen them since the funeral. I’ve been wondering how they’re getting on.’
‘Is there anything you’d like me to do?’ Mavis asked.
Eden cast around for something that wouldn’t be too taxing. The truth was they could probably manage without Mavis’s help, but she realised that Mavis wanted to feel useful.
‘Perhaps ask at the tables. I think Julia mentioned someone pairing up cutlery in napkins so they’re ready for people to pick up. And we need some bins setting up for the rubbish too.’
‘Quite right,’ Mavis said. ‘Don’t want it blowing all over the beach. I’ll go and see.’
Eden watched her lean on Liam’s arm as she toddled away before going back to the van to continue their unloading. There was so much food she’d worried that they’d gone way overboard, despite reassurance from both Julia and Ralph, but looking at just how many people had turned up, their numbers swelling with new arrivals all the time, she wondered whether they’d have enough.
It had taken some extra canvassing for donations in the town – donations most were only too happy to give when she’d explained what the event was – plus some help from Ralph and a chunk of her own savings to put this on, but Eden didn’t mind. She didn’t even mind that her savings were dwindling faster than she’d anticipated. Money was important, but she hadn’t expected hers to last forever.
In the past, money had been everything, despite the fact she’d had more than enough. She’d always wanted more: more money, more things, more holidays, more security. It had been her downfall. But in the end, trying to become someone other than that person had saved her because it had brought her here. So if she struggled sometimes, it was all right. Her friends in the bay would have her back; they’d help her through, as they all helped each other. She looked at Livia and her family and saw that she didn’t need money to be happy. She wasn’t naive – of course people needed money to live, but having more than you needed didn’t always equate to a better life. Now that she’d made the decision to stay in Sea Glass Bay, it was something she was certain she’d work out along with everything else.
Livia followed her to the van. ‘I’ve just seen the owner of Four Winds walking along the promenade. At least, it looked like her. I haven’t seen her in ages, not since the house was sold. I wonder why she’s here.’
Eden’s gaze went to the stretch of road that followed the line of the beach. ‘Margery? I don’t see her.’
‘Must have gone into town. I wondered if she might be coming up to check on you, see if you’ve got everything you need.’
‘Maybe. It’s a shame she’s had a wasted journey if she’s been up there while I’ve been down here. She’ll message me if it’s important, and I suppose she has a key if she wants to go in and check around. I’ve got nothing to hide, so…’
‘Have you spoken to her about giving up the house early?’
Eden shook her head. ‘I don’t want to do that until I’ve found somewhere else. I’ve seen a couple of apartments for rent…I don’t suppose you’d like to come and view them with me? In fact, one has a spare room…the kids could come and stay whenever you and your mum needed a night off. And before you say I don’t need to do that and all the other rubbish, I’d love to have them over – they’re so much fun.’
Livia blinked. And then she grabbed Eden in a huge hug. ‘I can’t tell you how glad I am you’re staying in the bay!’
‘Me too,’ Eden replied, her grin so wide it threatened to break free of her face. ‘I think it’s going to be the best decision I’ve ever made.’
As they hugged, Eden felt something wrap around her legs and looked down to see Nancy clinging on to them both.
‘Group hug!’ Livia cried, breaking free to scoop up her niece and fold her back into the embrace.
‘Group hug!’ Nancy giggled.
Eden pulled her in. She couldn’t remember a hug in her entire life better than this one. If there hadn’t been so much else going on, she might have been tempted to stay in it all day.
‘Right.’ Livia was the first to break it up, kissing Nancy on the head and setting her down. ‘Come on – we’ve got lots to do, and it won’t get done while we’re being all soppy.’ She handed Nancy another box of cakes. ‘You know what to do.’
Eden was still smiling as she watched Nancy dash off with it. ‘You know, you’re an amazing not-quite-mum.’
‘I try,’ Livia said. ‘Sometimes I don’t mind admitting it’s hard, but then I think about my sister, and I realise I’m lucky.’
‘You gave up a lot; it’s bound to feel hard sometimes.’
‘I don’t think I gave up all that much, and if I did, I got back something that was worth far more.’
‘Nobody would blame you if you sometimes got angry. Losing your sister, then your dad, not getting Four Winds when it had been promised to you as an inheritance…’
Livia shook her head. ‘What’s the use in getting angry about any of that? I couldn’t change it, no matter how angry I got. As for Four Winds, if I had inherited it when my uncle died, I’d have been living in it and you wouldn’t have rented it. You might not even have come to the bay at all, so…’
Eden couldn’t quite believe that her friendship was worth so much to Livia, but if it was worth even a tiny fraction of that, she was happy.
‘I don’t let it worry me,’ Livia continued. ‘Everything works out eventually, doesn’t it? Even if we have to get round a few obstacles on the way.’
Eden was about to reply when she noticed a car parking up on a designated spot on the promenade, a few spaces away from where they’d set the van. Her heart stopped as she watched Caitlin and her father get out, her good mood suddenly evaporating to be replaced by anxiety, the likes of which she hadn’t known since her arrival in Sea Glass Bay. Things had been cordial enough on messages and phone calls, but seeing them in the flesh brought the whole awful time around her mother’s death bowling back at her.
‘Oh, God,’ she murmured.
Livia followed her gaze and must have guessed what was going through Eden’s mind. ‘It’ll be fine. I’ll leave you to it. Come and find me if you need to, OK?’
Eden nodded vaguely, not even noticing Livia go. Her gaze was fixed on the two people she’d left behind, the two people she’d most wronged in the world as they came towards her.
To her amazement, Caitlin broke into a run, throwing her arms around her.
‘You silly little cow!’ she cried. ‘I thought I’d never see you again!’
Eden floundered in her embrace, sudden tears springing to her eyes. Of all the scenarios she’d anticipated, this had not featured in any of them. A moment later, she could see her dad, tears in his eyes too as he waited for his turn.
‘I’m sorry,’ Eden sobbed as he folded her into his arms. ‘I’m so sorry for everything.’
‘You have nothing to be sorry for,’ he said gently. ‘You never had.’
Eden wanted to believe it, but she couldn’t. She would have to be content with the fact they were there, willing to forgive, willing to try to be a family once more. And this time Eden would deserve their love and faith. This time she would be the daughter her dad deserved and the sister Caitlin needed and wanted.
She dried her eyes as he let go. Caitlin was doing the same thing. Then Eden’s pragmatic sister seemed to collect herself, the sensible, no-nonsense member of the family once more.