Chapter 10 Tanner
Tanner
They found a roadside deli which didn’t look much on the outside but smelled like heaven when they walked through the door.
Taking a table by the window, Tanner ordered a Cuban sandwich, baked fresh in-house and oozing with melted cheese.
Avery tucked into French toast made with a cinnamon roll, and when the first bite brought a tiny smile to her face, he thought it was like the bright outline of the sun beaming along the edge of a cloud.
Crap, he needed to focus. He’d sought her out this morning, tugged toward her by that link of theirs—the one that had survived a decade of no contact—and a burning need to get to know her better.
With the benefit of maturity and not in front of a crowd of his cousin’s friends this time.
But now he finally had his chance, all he could do was stare at her, thinking she’d grown even prettier than she’d been back then, regardless of the black eye and the passing years.
Sitting across from Avery Delgado was an experience he hadn’t quite prepared himself for.
His teenage self was freaking out and the words he’d wanted to say for so many years died in his throat.
So, he gave himself over to enjoying it.
This might be his last chance to be alone with her this weekend. He’d enjoy it while he could.
At least he’d won their lighthearted scrap over who would pay the bill.
Picking up the check for breakfast soothed some of the burning need inside him to even out their debt and, if payback had to start with a roadside platter of French toast, so be it.
He could take her to any number of five-star establishments later.
“I’ll be back on my diet plan tomorrow, but it feels good to let loose a little here and there.” He swiped at a string of cheese that looped from the sandwich to his lips.
“You watch what you eat even in the off-season?” Avery asked, her eyebrows kinking.
She’d been so quiet on the ride up he’d wondered if she regretted their escape plan, but she was finally looking more comfortable again. Maybe it was the food.
“Yeah, I don’t like to give myself too much work to get back in shape before training camp starts.
” Tanner noticed his knee bouncing and he made the conscious effort to still it.
“Dex is a veggie. So I ate well while I was in the UK and the surfing was great for my fitness.” Flashing her a grin, he took another giant bite.
“I’d say I’ve earned myself some wiggle room. ”
Toying with her fork, Avery pinned him with those blue eyes that seemed to reach into his chest and urge his heart to two-step. “You’ve filled out a bit since school. You’d have mashed me like a truck if you were built like this when we collided in the hallway.”
Tanner threw back his head and laughed. A few customers looked their way. “That was barely a tap. When you spend your working hours getting slammed into the boards, you need all the bulk you can get.”
She winced, spearing another piece of French toast. “Doesn’t make you indestructible, though.”
Damn, he wished it did. Unwilling to dwell on his worst fears, he chose to keep things light. “Sadly no, but I’ve still got all my teeth. And there’s not many players who can say that.”
“You’ve had a lot of injuries recently.”
Rolling his right shoulder, Tanner felt the now-familiar grind of unstable tendons. “Yeah, it was one thing after another last season.”
“Well, we wouldn’t have met if it wasn’t for those two bloody noses.”
He couldn’t tell how Avery felt about that since her eyes dipped to her plate as she scraped it clean.
He itched to ask what shape the years since school had taken for her.
Did she regret that their paths had ever crossed at all?
As far as Tanner could tell, he’d been the only one to benefit, and the discomfort of that thought sat heavy on his chest.
They ordered toasted marshmallow lattes to go (Sam would have teased him for it) and followed a sign for an out-and-back riverside trail along a pedestrian boardwalk that wound through willows and oaks.
If this had been a date, he’d have reached for her hand as they began to walk—there was an overwhelming itch in his fingers to touch her—but everything in Avery’s body language screamed “friends.” And it made Tanner’s skin feel too tight.
“Will you miss your old teammates now you’re signing somewhere else?” Her sneakers made a hollow echo against the wooden planks.
“Maybe a little.” He knew one thing for sure that he wasn’t going to miss and, with the sudden clenching of the muscles along his jaw, Tanner made a careful sidestep away from what had really driven him from Boston.
“But I wasn’t there long and I’m used to pulling on a different jersey, although it’s always daunting to settle into a new team. No one likes being the new guy.”
He grabbed at a spindly branch, which bent like a bow as Avery passed it and threatened to bitch-slap him in the throat.
“Will you stay in touch with Mats Dahlin?”
“Mats? For sure. He’s a good friend.” Tanner drained the last of his drink.
Her feet slowing, Avery came to a halt and squinted up at him. “The accident sounded horrific.”
He suppressed a shudder. “Honestly, I’ve never been so fucking terrified in all my life.
” The memory of blood-red ice was all too clear in his mind again—the slick of Mats’s neck beneath his hands as Tanner tried to keep the lifeforce from running through his fingers.
“I was next to him when it happened. I saw Cote go down, headfirst. His feet flew up and one blade caught Mats across the neck. It happened in seconds. I knew it was bad. I didn’t even think. I just grabbed him.”
“He wasn’t wearing a neck guard?”
He shrugged. “Not many of us do.”
“They said if you hadn’t put pressure on his neck immediately and gotten him off the ice, he’d have bled out.”
Tanner crushed the takeout cup in his fist. “Yeah, they said that. But the trainer and the team doctor were amazing. They took over from me as soon as we reached the bench. Mats made it because of them.”
The blue of Avery’s eyes was warm. “How is he doing now?”
“He missed the end of the season but he’ll be back next year.” Tanner huffed. “The fucker took years off my life and only spent three days in the ICU.”
She searched his face a little longer, before taking the crumpled cup from his grip and throwing both his and hers into a nearby trash can. Again, he noticed the smattering of freckles on each of her elbows.
“I guess it hasn’t all been plain sailing—” Avery broke off, chewing at her lip. He wondered if it tasted of marshmallows.
“What hasn’t, Stretch?”
“Your career. The upward trajectory of Tanner Stone after leaving Pine Springs.”
He almost snorted. If only she knew how much of a struggle it had been.
How much of a struggle it still was as he battled injury and age alongside the aftermath of Mats’s horrific accident.
His career path might have looked smooth, but to Tanner it had felt like a dizzying journey as he ricocheted through the world of pro hockey, bouncing off the sides like a pinball with nothing to slow him down, no one to ground him or give him an anchor.
Always hoping the next team, the next base, would be the one to hold him.
Always somewhere in between where he’d come from and where he wanted to be.
Tanner cleared his throat. “No one’s life is all roses.
I’ve been lucky—I know that more than anyone.
And I’ve done what I set out to do with making a difference to my mom’s life and her health.
But everyone has good days and crappy days.
Times when things run smoothly and times when it all feels like a shitshow.
Doesn’t matter who you are or how golden things look from the outside. ”
Avery turned to face him. She was so close he could see the navy ring around the outside of her irises, and fresh freckles brought out by the sun smattering across her nose. “You sound tired. Even now, after your surfing break.”
Tanner was surprised. He thought he’d hidden it better than that. “I’m fucking exhausted, Stretch,” he admitted. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I feel like I’m running on empty.”
There was a moment of silence between them before Avery started to walk again.
“I guess there’s no real reason for feeling so tired,” she said finally, and there was a deliberately dry edge to her words that pricked the bubble of tension hovering between them.
“Apart from maybe the trauma of your friend’s injury, the constant strain on your body, and the pressure to perform, intense training and media attention. No reason at all.”
He couldn’t hold back a snort at the summary. Her candor, the teasing, was refreshing. Avery’s unsentimental insight eased the knot in his chest. “You’re right. I should quit whining and suck it up.”
“Who do you whine to usually?” she asked as they fell into step together. “You’ve got friends, right? People who support you? The ex-girlfriend before she was an ex?”
In all honesty, he couldn’t remember the last time a girlfriend had asked him for more than his credit card.
Sure he had his mom and his brothers, but Tanner liked to put on a solid front for them.
This kind of sharing felt new, edgy, and vulnerable.
“I’ve got Arlo. We both took a business class together at college and thought that made us experts.
” He gave a self-deprecating laugh. “Well, him more than me—at least he came out of it with a degree. He’s been my manager and financial advisor ever since. It works for us.”
And you? he wanted to add. What are my chances of spending more time like this with you?
“And now you’ll have your family and old friends around you, too,” Avery filled in with a casual shrug. “Lots of people to lean on.”