Steve
Yeah, actually, I’m starting to get a little scared… Ran, can you maybe make sure she doesn’t spend the night at our house? I’m not comfortable closing my eyes when Cat’s around.
Ronan:
Weirdly enough, I find scary Cat to be a HUGE turn-on…
Vada:
I always figured you’d have to have some kind of kink, Ran.
Shane:
Oh jeez, here we go.
I shove my phone into my pocket and look at Ronan, whose face is alight with mischief. “You find me to be a turn-on when I slap girls?” I ask him with a giggle.
“You turn me on all the time, but that fight in you is really damn sexy, baby,” he says with a nod. “I’m proud of you.”
“Really?”
“Fuck, yeah. Baby, you’ve been through so much shit. You had it coming at you from all damn sides. A lot of people would just give up in a situation like that. Fetal position, you know? You’ve done the complete damn opposite. You got to a point where you just said ‘enough,’ and you did something about it. You did something about Drew, and now Cheyenne, and even though it probably didn’t feel like it, you did something about Adam, too. You said, ‘no more.’ That’s fucking incredible. And if no one has told you how seriously badass that is, then I’m here to tell you it is.”
“I feel like maybe I didn’t get to that point fast enough.” It took me months to tell anyone about what Adam was doing to me while we dated, and even longer to come clean about the blackmailing.
“I mean, if you really think about it, it didn’t really take you all that long. Baby, you did great! You were only with Adam a few months. Some people stay with their abusers for years or maybe never even leave until… until it’s too late.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t stand up for myself because I wanted to. I did it because I got found out.”
Ronan shakes his head at me. “You know how many people get found out and still never do a single thing about it? Their families and friends will urge them to leave what they can obviously tell is a toxic situation, but still, the victim will stay with their abuser. What you did isn’t easy. In fact, it’s really, really hard.”
I study his profile. Ronan is right. He knows what he’s talking about because he’s been there. Shane knew about Ronan getting hurt, urged him to tell someone, but Ronan never did. He never got to the point I reached. I’m perfectly aware that our situations are completely different, but I decide to accept Ronan’s praise rather than fight it.
“I’m proud of you, too, sweet boy,” I tell him then, locking eyes with him. “You held on for so long. You fought and fought. And I know you were just biding your time; you were trying to make it through this next year and then get the hell out of there. You had your exit plan in place already. You were just waiting to make your move when it was safe,” I say and move my hand to his cheek. “I was just lucky that I had the support I did… do. You’re a badass, too, Ran.”
He chuckles, probably at my swear word, which I don’t whip out in front of him a ton.
***
My mom’s car is already parked in the narrow driveway to my house. I wonder if she ended up cancelling her afternoon patients after all. Maybe she wants to make sure Ronan and I don’t spend too much time alone together.
But when Ronan and I walk in, my mom isn’t alone. Vada and Zack’s dad raises his hand at us in a greeting. “Heya Cat. Hi Ran.”
This has got to be about Adam.
“Did you get him?” Ronan asks, standing next to me straight-backed while he grips my hand.
“You could say that.” Mr. Walker motions for us to sit. “Adam Mallard gave the NYPD quite a run for their money yesterday evening. They chased him all the way to New Jersey. I’m surprised you didn’t see it on the news.”
My mom shakes her head. “We try not to watch the news too much; it’s too unnerving most of the time.”
“Can’t say I blame you,” Mr. Walker says with a small grunt. “Well, he made it all the way across the bridge to Jersey. I don’t know where or how he thought this might end. Maybe he thought he’d lose them, but once we crossed over into New Jersey, their local PD got involved. There was really no way out for him.”
Neither my mom, Ronan, nor I speak.
“He was obviously desperate. His driving became increasingly erratic and quite frankly dangerous. My understanding is that they were able to get him off the freeway. It’s not necessarily safer, but speeds tend to decrease and there are easier options for spike strips, things like that. Unfortunately, Adam lost control of his car before he could be stopped. He was ejected from his vehicle, quite obviously not wearing a seatbelt. He was transported to a hospital in New Jersey last night in critical condition and hung on long enough for his parents to be notified and make it to New Jersey. Unfortunately he didn’t make it through the night. He succumbed to his injuries.”
“That’s awful,” my mom says quietly. “I can’t imagine what his parents must be going through.” She folds into herself on the couch, one hand on her heart.
Mr. Walker nods with a heavy sigh. “Law enforcement spent last night securing the scene, going through Adam’s car. We were able to retrieve his cell phone and review it.”
My body reacts to this information by setting my face ablaze with heat.
“There were certainly the photos you had described, Cat,” Mr. Walker says, but thankfully doesn’t dwell on that aspect. “But what’s more alarming is that there were also photos of you, Ran, and both you and Cat together. We were able to determine they were taken last summer and over what appears to be several weeks. Then there were more photos of only you, Cat, and some of my kids, Shane, and well, you get the gist. Adam had been watching you. Maybe to see if there was a pattern to your schedule and movement, to see if there was ever a time you were out and about alone, those kinds of things. He was keeping tabs on you.”
My mom’s face carries a note of revulsion.
“I can’t stress enough how perfectly timed Ronan and Shane’s arrival was yesterday. What evidence we were able to collect from Adam’s car indicates he had sinister plans. I don’t think it’s necessary to go into detail, but—and sorry if this sounds callous—I’m not sad it ended the way it did for Adam. He was a deeply troubled young man, and if he had been arrested and tried, it’s likely he would have gotten away with minimal time in jail. Unfortunately, domestic violence and stalking cases tend to have unsatisfactory outcomes.”
My mom storms over to Ronan. Like she did yesterday, she throws herself against him with a loud sob, squeezing him tightly. “I’m beginning to think you’re some kind of guardian angel,” she stammers through her tears. “No pressure, but if you don’t marry my daughter one day…”
The temperature in my cheeks increases while Ronan chuckles uncomfortably, giving my mom a one-handed pat on the back.
***
“I feel like I should remind you that nothing that happened was your fault,” Ronan says against my hair a couple of hours later.
Mr. Walker left long ago. My mom’s on the phone with my dad, catching him up on today’s news. I’m elated it’s finally over, but feel inexplicably guilty that it ended the way it did for Adam. I never wanted this for him, even in our darkest moments. I never wanted him dead. I wanted him gone from my life, yes, but never dead. And the nagging idea that he would’ve been so much better off if he’d never met me has gnawed at my conscience more than once this evening.
I lift my head from Ronan’s chest where it’s rested for the past twenty minutes while I’ve been cuddled against him on the couch. “How did you even know that’s what I was thinking?” I ask him, my gaze flitting between his eyes.
“You were nibbling on the inside of your cheek, which you only do when you feel ashamed for some usually unwarranted reason. I just put two and two together.” He shifts, forcing me to sit up. With a finger under my chin, he moves my face so we can lock eyes. “I need you to know that you have no reason to feel guilty. You did nothing wrong; you didn’t bring this on yourself or Adam. I’ve told you before and I’ll tell you again: Adam was in complete control of the entire situation. This was of his making alone. You didn’t deserve this, you didn’t ask for this, you didn’t bring this on either of you.”
I nod, wishing desperately to convince myself of the truth of his words. “How long do you think it’ll take me to actually start believing that?”
He takes a deep breath in through his nose, then simply pulls me into his arms. “If only I knew, baby.”