Eerie

Chapter 33 Confessions

Chapter thirty-three

Confessions

There is a smile of love; And there is a smile of deceit; And there is a smile of smiles; In which these two smiles meet. - William Blake

Back at Bear Towne, Hailey walked half a block toward Eureka Hall before she realized she’d forgotten her puck. As she jogged back to retrieve it, she overheard the team chuckling.

Fin was laughing, too.

“Who, Hailey?” she heard him say, and she slowed so she could eavesdrop.

“Pádraig, serious,” said one of his teammates. “That chick is hot. Tell me you tapped that.”

Hailey’s jaw dropped.

“You know I did,” Fin laughed in a lazy voice, and he slapped his teammate’s hand.

A chorus of approval rose from the group.

“Look at you…getting you some freshman tail,” one of them sang.

Hailey could hear Fin laughing again, and it made her sick.

“Oh!” yelled another. “You rode the campus pariah!”

“Don’t call her that,” Fin bellowed through clenched teeth, and Hailey saw him winding up to pummel his teammate, but it was too late.

She was fuming, and she couldn’t stop her feet from marching right up to him.

“Hailey?” said Fin. He dropped his fist, his face white.

Hailey pushed two giant hockey players out of the way, stormed over to Fin, and smacked him across the face.

He flinched and immediately began his grovel.

“Hailey,” he pleaded. “I’m so sorry—guys, give me a minute.

” The Yetis dispersed in a hurry, and Hailey furiously walk-sprinted away, hands balled into fists that dug her fingernails into her palms. And now she was shaking, the tears were building.

Her point focus was to get out of there before Fin saw her cry.

“Hailey, stop!” he yelled, chasing after her.

Nope.

“Hailey, come on. Look, I’m sorry!”

Hailey spun around to yell at him, but it broke her tear damn.

“I can’t believe…” she sobbed, “…after you just said you were looking out for me. You don’t care about me at all!”

Looking shocked, Fin reached his hands for her shoulders, but she slapped them away.

“You don’t have enough women traipsing through your room?” she yelled. “You sleep with a different one every night, and you have to lie about me to feed your ego?”

“Hailey, I… I’m sorry,” he stuttered, but she was already stomping off. “It wasn’t…that wasn’t…dammit! What was I supposed to tell them?” he yelled after her. “Oh—you want me to say it out loud? That I’m in love with you? There! I said it!”

Hailey stopped.

“Love doesn’t act like that,” she said over her shoulder, and then she walked away.

“Hailey…” he pleaded. When she didn’t respond, he took a few steps after her. “Hailey!” he yelled. “I’m sorry, alright? Hail—”

She never looked back, but she could hear his teammates consoling him in the distance, their voices fading with each step she took, but she still made them out.

“Man…” said one. “You’re in the doghouse now, bro.”

“Yeah,” she heard Fin’s strained voice. Then he let out a bellow she would’ve heard from another block away, and he punched or kicked something that sounded like the side of a bus.

Hailey didn’t care. She was disgusted and outraged and hurt.

Mostly hurt. How could he ever call himself her friend?

And that bit about being “in love”? Hailey scoffed.

…warning me about the evil Asher… She shook her head, disgusted. Asher was the only person—or creature or whatever—the only one who’d never lied to her. Yeah, he was creepy and dangerous, but at least he didn’t hide it.

Still boiling the next morning, Hailey woke up a full hour early just so she could seethe.

“You’re finally making sense to me,” remarked Giselle.

Hailey smacked her books together as she gathered them. “You going to breakfast today?”

“I like morning food,” Giselle said, slinging her bag over her shoulder.

“Good.” Hailey’s anger wanted company.

After breakfast Giselle joined Hailey at the library. While Hailey set to solving the feedback problem in her ghost trap, Giselle worked her way through a pile of beauty magazines, and a gigantic inchworm slithered slowly past, accidentally bumping Hailey’s table as he went.

“Matthew!” Hailey barked when he caused her pen to scribble.

“I told you to stay out of the lounge. You have to stop drinking tea—just look at you.” Hailey threw her hand up.

“If you get any bigger, you’re going to get stuck in the archway and end up in a dark tunnel.

And don’t think I’ll come running underground to find you. ”

He slid away, tea sloshing loudly in his stomach.

Hailey turned back to her lab notebook, and she must’ve just missed seeing Fin rush out of the stacks, because it seemed like he came out of thin air, when he appeared on his knees at her side, wearing a haunted expression.

“Ah!” she yelled, and her pen made another scribble.

“Hailey, I’m sorry—forgive me please,” he called out breathless.

“Fin—” Hailey huffed loudly and stared at her messy notebook. “Nothing says, ‘I’m sorry’ like leaving me the hell alone.”

Fin stood up, shoulders hunched. “I’ll leave you alone then,” he said in a strained voice, “but I will never leave you alone.” He placed a folded note on the desk next to her hand and slouched away.

“You were a little hard on him, don’t you think?” Giselle asked.

“I thought you hated him?” she whispered sharply.

“I do,” she said in a loud voice that disturbed Mrs. Spitz.

“SHH!” she warned from the circulation desk.

“But you don’t,” said Giselle in just as loud a voice.

“Trust me. I would rather spend an eternity buried in these library books than spend another second with Pádraig O’Shea.”

“Careful what you wish for.”

Hailey snapped her head around. “Why?”

“You just shouldn’t say things you don’t mean.”

“Thought you hated libraries,” she muttered, recalling the blissful first days of her semester, when her roommate was ignoring her.

“I do. They smell like dead trees. And by the way, I don’t understand you at all,” Giselle scolded.

“Asher very nearly kills you—wants to kill you, and you totally blow it off and gush about how—” Giselle put on her best little-girl-Hailey voice.

“Oh, I wish he would kiss me again,” she mocked.

“Pádraig tells one little lie, and you shun him completely.”

Before Hailey could close her wide-open mouth, Giselle slapped her magazine shut, got up, and glided out, leaving Hailey alone with her grudge, which quickly turned to guilt when she opened Fin’s note.

Inside, she found a magnificent pencil sketch of her praying at Holly’s grave with the words “Never Alone” scratched at the bottom.

Her hands numb, Hailey dropped her head to the desk as the squeaky outer door of the library opened.

Fin was waiting at the exit when Giselle walked out, He stopped her by stepping directly in front of her.

“What do you want?” she said like a snob.

“Demon,” he said, “I need you to tap into your para-empathic, emotion detector thing you do, and tell me if I love that woman or if this is just Cobon’s… curse.”

“All love’s a curse,” she said disgustedly, “and you really screwed up.”

“Giselle!”

“Pádraig, the very fact that you’re here asking me this question should be your answer.”

Fin waited for her to explain.

She didn’t.

“Giselle, for one minute, pretend you’re not a banshee, and stop speaking in riddles. Imagine I’m the biggest idiot you’ve ever talked to—”

“—that shouldn’t be hard.”

“Just lay it out for me, okay?”

“Have you ever cared whether you hurt someone who loves you?” she asked him.

Fin straightened up. “She loves me?” he exclaimed, and then he grabbed Giselle by the head and kissed her full on the mouth.

She pushed him away, sputtering and spitting and wiping at her lips as if she’d just been slurped by a dog that had drunk from the toilet.

“Gross!”

“Thank you, Giselle!” he said jubilantly as he jogged away.

“You’re still an asshole, Pádraig,” Giselle called after him.

Hailey finished up her experimental design, and she left the library that night with her heart in her stomach. The last thing she wanted was a run-in with Fin.

But, as she crested the stairs, she saw him waiting in the hallway and froze. Staring at the floor, she strode across the landing and made a bee-line for her room.

Fin apparently had another idea and blocked her path. Hailey stopped and looked up at him.

“What?” she demanded half-heartedly.

“Hailey, I need to talk to you.” He had her puck in his hand.

“Whatever happened to the whole leaving me alone thing? I liked that plan.”

She tried moving past him, but he blocked her way again. Pursing her lips, she stomped down hard on his insole.

Fin yelped and hopped onto his good foot, giving Hailey a way past.

“Hailey, I’m in love with you!” he yelled so loud it echoed off the wall and down the stairwell.

Wide eyed, Hailey turned to look at him, and he hopped closer.

“Hailey,” he begged, “you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met.

You’re feisty and innocent and unpredictable…

I love that you jumped head-first into a vacuum glaze to save a complete stranger then walked around all day stinky and sticky, and somehow you were still the most beautiful girl on campus. ”

She gave him a cold stare for a good three seconds, but then she dropped her gaze.

“You’re beautiful—God, you’re beautiful—and you see people.

You always see the good in people, you see them for who they are inside.

And the way you look at me…I’m in love with you, Hailey.

I’m in love with everything about you. I love how you look terrified when you don’t know what to say.

.. And then you just blurt out something outrageously honest and totally awkward. ”

Hailey bit her lip.

“I love that you constantly wrestle with your hair,” he went on. “It always starts out so nice but ends up sticking out at some ridiculous angle…”

She tucked a wayward curl behind her ear but resisted the urge to smooth her hands over her entire head.

“I love that you make me want to be better—I am—I am a better man when I’m with you. And I like who I am when you’re around.”

“Is that it?” Hailey said quietly.

“No,” he declared. “I love watching you dance.”

Hailey dropped her head, and Fin tilted her chin up in time to see a tear shimmer down her face.

“And I love you, Hailey.”

He brushed her cheek, his eyes chasing her shifting gaze until she finally looked at him.

“The whole world went dark when you stopped talking to me,” he said gently.

“It felt like someone shoved a dull knife into my stomach.” He took her hands in his and brought them to his lips.

“I always want you next to me, Hailey. I want you to dance with me and drink whiskey and throw things at me when you’re angry. ”

Hailey stood speechless.

“Anyway,” he continued, dropping her hands, “I’m sorry I told the team I slept with you. It wasn’t me, and I told them all the truth—that I lied about you. They told me I was an idiot. And I know I am.”

He leaned closer, searching her eyes.

“I’m sorry I was an ass. God, I’m so sorry I hurt you.

“You know, if I’d heard another guy say those things about you that I said about you, I would have sent his face home in a box.” Fin raised an open palm as he shrugged and shook his head.

Hailey opened her mouth to say something—she didn’t know what, but before she could utter a syllable, Fin walked into his room and shut his door. And he took her puck with him.

As Hailey lay in bed that night, she called to her roommate. “Giselle,” she said softly. “Are you sleeping?”

“Yes,” her roommate droned, but she hadn’t yet gone to the ceiling.

Hailey sat up. “Giselle, how do you know if someone loves you?”

“Did he give you the hockey puck?” Giselle was face-down, talking into her pillow, and Hailey didn’t know how Giselle knew about the hockey puck. Her super-banshee senses never ceased to amaze her.

“Um…no. He had it in his hand, but he didn’t give it to me.”

“He loves you right now,” she said in a monotone.

“What? How do you know? What do you mean ‘right now’?”

“The hockey puck, dumbass.”

“Oh.” Hailey said nodding, and then she shook her head. “I don’t understand.”

Giselle sat straight up and glared across the room at her.

“He didn’t give you the hockey puck, because he didn’t want that idiotic trinket to undermine what he’d just said to you.

His words were important to him. If he just wanted to get in your pants, he would’ve given you the hockey puck and said goodnight. ”

Hailey’s mouth fell open.

“Do you love him?”

“I…I don’t know.”

“If you love him, go and ask for your hockey puck tomorrow. If you don’t, then don’t ever talk to him again.”

She rolled back into her pillow and added in a muffled voice, “I wouldn’t talk to him again if I were you. His love won’t last. All men are scum.”

That was Giselle’s motto.

“I don’t really care about the hockey puck,” said Hailey.

Giselle shot up again. “Neither does he,” she barked. “It’s just a token—a metaphor incarnate…”

Hailey shrugged.

“Don’t you see? The puck is in his hand. It might as well be his beating heart. You love him? You want him? Go and get the puck,” she yelled, and she threw an empty cup at Hailey’s head then buried herself in her blankets again.

Hailey dodged the cup, which smacked the wall behind her.

“Thanks, Giselle,” she said as she snuggled into her bed. She had a lot of thinking to do.

“You do have a lot to think about,” came Giselle’s muffled voice. “Start with why you’re really angry with Pádraig. It’s not because you feel humiliated, because you don’t. I’m betting it’s because he’s not strong enough to stop Asher from ripping your soul out.”

Hailey pulled her covers to her chin.

Giselle made a fair point. If she wasn’t so wrapped up with Asher and his insane jealousy, she’d be head over heels for Fin. Maybe she already was. For sure she wouldn’t be mad at him, though.

Because she’d be dead.

Asher would never protect her from Cobon if she chose Fin. In fact, if Asher ever suspected that she was in love with Fin, he might even kill her himself. And she shuddered to think what he would do to Fin.

And Fin couldn’t do a thing to stop him. He was no match for an Envoy.

“You know,” Hailey called out over her blankets, “if this whole ‘banshee’ thing doesn’t work out for you, you should consider a career in counseling. You have remarkable insight.”

Hailey sighed and closed her eyes. “But you should definitely stay away from motivational speaking,” she added, and as she drifted to sleep, she thought she heard Giselle giggle.