Chapter 38 Torn
Chapter thirty-eight
Torn
“We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance.” - Japanese Proverb
Asher stepped away and held his hand out to her like a perfect gentleman. “Let’s have that dance, my dear.”
She took his hand. What choice did she have?
“I wish you could laugh,” she said almost to herself, but a slight turn of his head let her know he’d heard.
As he led her across the room, she noticed many turned to look at them. The girls of Bear Towne seemed enchanted by Asher’s charm, but their dates sure weren’t. The non-humans, of course, avoided him, and the entire hall was a mix of disgust, worry, and adoration.
Asher swooped across the floor, holding her tight, making it easy for her to follow.
The dim light, the poignant melody of the strings, the heat from his body, the feel of his hand against her bare back—skin to skin—it was intoxicating.
He was so strong, so powerful, and she felt safe with him as she glided across the room.
As the music reached a crescendo, he pulled her tight against his body and kissed her slowly, deliberately, his fingers trailing tickles across her back, and she was lost to the world, lost to him. The music, the lights— they were dizzying. She badly needed a break, needed to catch her breath.
Before she could ask him, Asher was leading her back to the table.
“Giselle.” He nodded curtly, and she nervously flicked her eyes at him then back to the floor. “You’re looking well.”
Giselle lifted her whole head to look at him, her entire face lit up. “Thank you, Asher,” she said, and her mouth twitched in a small grin.
“I think you’re the most beautiful woman in the world,” David gushed with an almost pleading voice. If he was trying to win a smile from the banshee too, it worked. She even blushed. Then she cleared her throat.
“Hailey,” she barked. “I need to speak to you about physical love in the ladies’ room.”
David spit his drink across the table.
Giselle grabbed Hailey by the arm, shot a begging glance at Asher, who nodded his permission, and she pulled Hailey into the antler-less moose room.
Oh, thank goodness. Hailey’s head was swimming; her heart was in a twist. She didn’t know which way was up, and she needed some time away from Asher to pull herself together. And Giselle wanted to talk about physical love…? With her…?
“Giselle, I’m not Dr. Ruth,” said Hailey as soon as the door closed.
“Don’t be stupid. I wouldn’t ask you for advice on love.” She scowled, looking over her shoulder. “I dragged you in here, because…” She looked over her shoulder again and whispered, “Asher is losing his mind.”
“What?”
“He loves you.”
“That makes him crazy?”
“Yes!” she hissed, pulling Hailey into a corner.
“Envoys don’t love. They don’t romance, and they certainly don’t kiss and caress and cuddle like he was doing on the dance floor.
” Her expression was grave. “You’re in trouble.
He’s manipulating your thoughts through that little gift he gave you, and if he senses that you’re rejecting him, he’ll rip you apart. ”
That explained a lot. The Earth swayed under Hailey’s feet, and she swallowed hard, her mind a pendulum.
Maybe it was wrong, but she liked crazy Asher and his un-Envoy-like romantic tendencies. And she hadn’t planned on rejecting him. Well, not anymore.
“It doesn’t matter if you plan on rejecting him.”
That was so annoying—Giselle and her banshee-mind-reading thing.
“It’s what he thinks is happening,” she continued speaking so quietly, Hailey had to strain to hear her. “And as he spirals further into insanity, he’ll go totally Cobon batshit crazy.”
Cobon. Could she never escape him?
“You need to be careful,” she whispered. “And stay the hell away from Pádraig. Asher’s jealous of the affection you show him. Plus he’s an asshole.”
Two giggling girls burst into the bathroom.
“We’d better get back,” said Giselle.
“Asher had to go,” David informed the girls when they returned, and Hailey blew a sigh of relief.
She instinctively glanced around the room in search of him, catching instead an eyeful of something that turned her stomach.
There in the middle of the dance floor was Fin.
With Adelaide. And Hailey stared in disbelief as he stood under the mooseltoe and laid a long, drawn-out kiss on his tall, busty, blonde bombshell date who seemed elated to be stuck to the most handsome man on campus—okay, second-most handsome man. But then, Asher wasn’t really a man.
And Hailey really had no right to be jealous, not after her dance with Asher…
But Fin was kissing her again!
Hailey’s stomach tightened, even though she “belonged” to Asher. How could Fin kiss that girl after all those things he’d said to her? She wondered if she was even human.
“Giselle, what is that girl?” She pointed to Adelaide. “A succubus?” she guessed. She had to be some kind of demon.
“No. She’s just a skank,” Giselle said. “Told you his love wouldn’t last. Put him out of your head, Hailey,” she advised with sad eyes.
It was good to have a friend. But Hailey didn’t want Fin out of her head, which was beginning to pound. She shouldn’t feel wounded by his behavior. Really—how could she condemn him after the heated moments she’d just shared with Asher?
Hypocrite, she muttered inside her head. Would she even care what Fin was doing if Asher hadn’t left her?
Yes.
Fin paraded Adelaide across the floor, laughing and kissing and seemingly unaffected by any lover’s quandary, and certainly not one that scattered his thoughts and squeezed his heart.
He was kissing her again...with his tongue? Oh, no! No, he definitely was not mired in uncertainty. It seemed he was making Hailey’s decision for her.
And if so, there was nothing left to do but say goodbye. She had to. And not just because she was angry…and hurt…and not good enough for him…
It would protect him from Asher’s jealousy. She was doing this for the right reason.
All those things he’d said…’I’m going to marry you’—my ass… Hailey sighed and pushed her bitter thoughts aside. As soon as he was alone, she’d just amicably tell him goodnight and goodbye.
There.
Simple.
It shouldn’t feel like a confrontation. It wasn’t like he was her boyfriend or anything, so she wasn’t breaking up with him. The thought made her sad. She wanted him to be her boyfriend.
His kisses, his promises... His lies. If she kept this train of thought, she might be angry enough to do this without crying. Or too angry to do it without crying. Crap.
There it was. Adelaide excused herself to the no-antlers room, and Hailey bolted upright and strode in his direction.
She had her courage and her anger balled up in her stomach, spurring her on.
But angry-marching in high heels was a bad idea, and right about the time Fin noticed her approach, right about two paces away from him, her right foot slipped out from under her, and down she went.
Giselle rushed to help her up. Fin just stood there, glaring down at her and looking like he’d just stepped in something squishy.
“Maybe you should stick to flats, little girl,” he said in a voice so disparaging, it cut straight to her heart.
Hailey rubbed her elbow, which bore the brunt of her fall.
“Why are you being so mean?” she squeaked. That was not what she wanted to say.
“Well, you keep following me around for starters, and you just won’t take a hint.” His voice was harsh. His eyes were harsh. And she was not following him around. A hint? What the—? She’d better just get this over with.
She mustered her friendly voice. “Look, Fin, I—”
“—and my name is Pádraig,” he said scornfully.
She waited to see him crack his sarcastic, playful smile.
But he didn’t.
“What’s the matter with you?” she asked in a voice barely above a whisper.
He cocked his head to the side and stuck his jaw out. “I can’t do this anymore, Hailey.” His voice was low and honest.
“Can’t do what?”
“This big-brother-looking-after-you thing. It’s just not me. It was fun almost getting into your pants, but frankly…” He ran his hand through his hair. “I’m bored with you…with this whole situation. And it’s irritating when you follow me around.”
Hailey stood dumbfounded. Bored…? Oh, no! Was that what he was trying to tell her on the dance floor? And she blew it off. And now she was following him around? Her heart raced in her chest as fast as the self-deprecating thoughts ran through her head.
He was scowling down at her. And he’d just made this a lot easier.
“Well that’s fine, because I was just coming to tell you—”
“Stop following me around, Hailey,” he spat in a loud voice. Several heads turned in their direction. “Stop showing up at my door…throwing yourself at me. It’s annoying.”
Total shock stole her voice, and she could feel her face flush.
“I’ll never be your boyfriend, alright?”
Hailey shook her head in surprised confusion.
“Why are you saying these things?” Cobon! Cobon wanted him to hurt her. This was so over the top and unbelievable, it had to be Envoy shenanigans—
—or maybe Hailey was in denial.
In any case, Fin certainly didn’t look hypnotized—in fact, he rolled his eyes at her.
“Look, I had to get close to you after Holly croaked.”
The air in the room was too heavy to breathe. Hailey blinked rapidly, trying to keep her angry veneer in place for just a few seconds longer.
“I got you here; I gained your trust; I seduced you, and you were eating out of my hand. But now the Envoys have a different plan for you. So, I don’t have to keep up this charade.”
“That’s not funny, Fin.” Hailey was holding it together, but just barely. She had to open her eyes wide to keep the tears in.
He was the one who said they’d figure things out together. He had told her he’d help her escape the ripping-out-of-the-soul, temporary death thing. And now he was abandoning her to Cobon’s plan.
“You’re really freaking me out,” she managed between shallow hitching breaths.