Chapter 10
Ego
Scotty’s arrival last night had been…a lot.
I wasn’t ready for Sky—or anyone else—to know I was back in Willowhope.
It would make this whole new life I had to figure out too real.
By the time he’d left, Lysandro had convinced him to leave it under wraps for now, but I wasn’t sure how long that would last. Scotty was close to Sky’s found family, and had no allegiance to me, so I either needed to fess up—before he did it for me—or leave town.
It wasn’t all bad, though. He’d almost reassured me that Dead Air’s music wasn’t completely shit.
Not that I cared what anyone else thought of it.
It was an outlet for all of the anger I felt from having my life ripped away.
A place to dump my frustration in a way that felt semi-normal to me.
Something to do after Lysandro left each night, instead of just pacing this mini-castle like a captured beast.
Since I knew how much Scotty didn’t care for me, it had been nice of him to sit here into the wee hours of the morning, pulling up his favorite Dead Air songs, and showing me the pillar that had betrayed me. After he and Lysandro left, I made sure the lights were even dimmer before I recorded.
The wildest part to me was how freakin’ excited Scotty had been about the whole vampire-thing.
Like, he’d been stoked. I couldn’t wrap my mind around it.
Didn’t he realize I’d have to drink someone’s blood?
Like, pierce their skin with these sharp, hideous fangs and take what wasn’t mine just to survive.
That was the part I hated the most. The asshole who had stripped my humanity and turned me into this monster, had also put me in a position where I’d have to cross someone else’s boundaries to take what didn’t belong to me.
I hated it. Hated myself. Maybe it would be better for everyone if I took a walk into the sun.
The sound of my front door opening drew my attention, and I almost wished I didn’t have to deal with Lysandro tonight.
I appreciated everything he was doing for me, but I’d love to have one night without listening to his endless lectures.
He was like a broken record, going round and round every night.
My thoughts quieted as the door snicked shut, competing with the thump, thump, thump of a beating heart. I quickly reached up, reassuring myself that my chain was in place, and clutched the amulet. I’d woken up hungry tonight, and I didn’t want to accidently attack whoever this was.
Even with the cloaking magic, my suspicions about my visitor were confirmed when the scents of fresh sourdough bread, cedar, and old books invaded my nose. Had he always smelled like baked goodness? I supposed it was from helping Harry and Buck in the kitchen and serving the food at the manor.
Even before being changed and my senses heightened, I’d noticed that all witches carried the earthy aroma of cedar—not that Scotty was a witch, but he had the underlying scent of those he spent time with.
But the intriguing scent of old books; that was surprising.
I’d spent a lot of time surreptitiously watching him when I stayed at the manor, and I couldn’t recall a time where he’d had a book in his hand.
Scotty appeared with a black leather satchel over his shoulder. He hesitated at the entrance into the room like he wasn’t sure he was welcome.
“Why do you smell like old books?” I blurted.
His eyes widened, then narrowed. “I come into your house unannounced, and the first thing you do is ask me a question that makes no sense.” He shook his head. “Figures.”
Now that he put it that way. “How did you get into my house?”
“Lysandro gave me the code. Duh.” Reaching for my phone to text Lysandro and give him a piece of my mind, Scotty said, “And don’t call and bitch at him. He sent me with nourishment.” He held the bag up by the straps. “I brought your dinner.”
“Why didn’t he come?”
Scotty snorted. “Are you pouting?”
“No,” I said, hearing the petulance in my own voice.
It wasn’t that I cared he didn’t come if he sent his blood, but…
I’d grown accustomed to his visits. He usually stayed for several hours, and while he spent most of that time lecturing me, it helped with my loneliness.
I guessed this is what I got for dreading him coming tonight.
Scotty would drop the bag and leave, and I’d be stuck here by myself all night with nothing to do and no one to talk to. The mere thought of it depressed me.
“Ugh. You are pouting.” He moved toward the chair he’d been in last night, tossing the bag at my feet as he passed by.
I looked back and forth between him and the satchel several times. “What are you doing?”
“Lysandro said he usually hangs out with you for a bit, so I figured I would, too.” He glanced around the house. “It can’t be much fun sitting in this big, empty place by yourself.”
“No, it’s not,” I admitted, staring at the bag at my feet.
“Sooo…” He trailed off.
My gaze bounced to him. “What?”
He gestured at the bag, holding the elixir of life. “Are you going to drink that or what?”
“Uh.” My mouth went dry, and I licked my lips. I needed the blood, my body craved it, and knowing it was right there, ready for me, made me want to shred through the leather and consume the coppery liquid, but… “I’ve never actually prepared it for myself before.”
Scotty’s face went blank. “What does that mean?”
“Well, uh”—I pointed over to the bar where the goblet sat on the counter—“Lysandro usually drains it from his wrist into that.”
“Okay,” he said, drawing it out. “What about before Lysandro started giving you his?”
“Delaney mixed a blood bag and sangria in the goblet, and I drank it.” I shrugged.
He sighed deeply. “So you don’t know how to prepare your own food?”
Embarrassed, I averted my eyes. “I, uh, guess not.”
“Ego. It’s in a thermos. You don’t even need the cup. And why is it such an elaborate one? A goblet, for fuck’s sake. Just open the thermos and drink right out of the top. Or pour it into the cup on top. Whatever floats your boat.”
Feeling ridiculous that I really hadn’t ever prepared my own nourishment, but also terrified of Scotty’s reaction watching me drink blood, I pulled the bag up onto my lap.
“It’s not going to bite you,” he said.
I spared him a quick glance before pulling out a teal, purple, and white plaid thermos.
Scotty barked out a laugh. “Lysandro really loves color, doesn’t he?”
Gulping, I managed to nod. Scotty sat quietly, observing me, unaware of the battle raging inside of me.
He probably thought I was acting like the diva he’d always accused me of, but I wasn’t.
I didn’t mind drinking straight out of the thermos either.
I didn’t need it in a cup or goblet or anything else, as long as I didn’t have to suck it out of someone’s veins.
But I didn’t feel comfortable drinking it in front of Scotty. Consuming Lysandro’s blood was so different than the blood bags. Once I started, I guzzled it quickly, leaking the crimson essence out of the sides of my lips.
It was utterly messy and horribly uncivilized.
Lysandro told me I needed to work on my control. He wanted me to sip the delicious sustenance, but I hadn’t even tried.
And now here was Scotty, patiently waiting for me to unscrew the lid and eat.
I didn’t want him to see me like this. I was starving, craving the blood with every part of my being, but I needed some dignity.
He might be fascinated by the whole vampire-thing now, but he’d change his mind once he witnessed the truth of it.
I focused on the thermos, so I didn’t even realize he’d stood up until he dropped his hand, palm up, in front of me. “Give me the thermos.”
I clutched it tightly to my chest. “No. What? Why?”
He huffed, air blowing out of his nose and hitting my skin. “Give it to me, Ego.”
I held it tighter until he leaned down and began pulling it.
Not wanting to hurt him—or him to hurt himself—I let go.
Scotty stomped over to the bar, keeping his back to me.
The lid swished open, followed by the clatter of him dropping the top onto the counter, just before the sound of the nectar of life splashed into the goblet.
Was Scotty making it for me? But why? He didn’t owe me anything. He’d never shied away from showing me how distasteful he found me. Why would he humor what was obviously me being ridiculous?
As he came back, the coppery scent overwhelmed me. My vision clouded into a haze of red. I wanted to consume it—bathe in it. Be it.
I heard, “Here you go,” as if from a distance, before the goblet was pressed into my hand. Without any kind of chill, I raised it to my lips and—
Blinking rapidly, my vision cleared slowly, the room coming back into focus, no Scotty in sight. “What…what happened?” I mumbled to myself.
Right as my thoughts began to spiral into the darkest places, wondering if I’d done something to hurt Scotty or if he’d run out the front door screaming, I felt the rhythmic thump, thump, thump of his heartbeat in my very bones.
Following the sound, I whipped my head in the direction it originated, and saw Scotty standing on the other side of the bar, running water at the little sink there. “Feeling better?” he asked.
“I…shit. Sorry. What are you doing?”
He turned off the water and set the wet goblet back in its place on the counter. “Washing your fancy cup. It fell from your hands onto the carpet after you drained it. I was scared blood would spill out and stain your fancy floor, but”—he chuckled—“you got every bit of moisture out of there.”
“I’m…” I licked my lips. “I didn’t do anything, uh…”
“Weird?” he asked, striding back and dropping into the chair across from me. “Nah. Although, it was like watching someone pass out from an amazing orgasm. Not that I’ve ever had one that good, but I’ve seen it in porn.” His eyes twinkled with humor.
The idea of him watching porn was the last one I needed in my head in my current state. Especially while this embarrassed. I rubbed the back of my neck. “Sorry. I, uh, don’t usually, uh…”
Scotty waved me off. “Don’t worry. I expected it. Lysandro warned me that you might go a little feral on it since I was here.”
I jerked back. “What does that mean?”
Scotty smirked. “You’d know if you listened to a word he tried to teach you.”
My irritation spiked. Sure, he could be so nonchalant about this because it wasn’t happening to him. I was an oddity to him, a curiosity, but he got to walk away when the novelty wore off.
“Oh, stop. I can see you’ve got your panties in a twist—again—but I’m not here to give you a hard time. I went to the library earlier hoping to catch Lysandro before he came out here. I’ve missed him the last couple of weeks.”
Of course, he did. He liked Lysandro. Maybe even more than liked the old vamp.
It would make sense. He didn’t look older than dirt, but more like he was in his mid-thirties, and he was attractive.
Super cute, if I was being honest. I could see how Scotty would find his uniqueness appealing.
Plus, Lysandro was kind and helpful, as normal as any human I’d ever met.
Scotty had always considered me spoiled and arrogant. I wasn’t, but he’d never even given me a chance. Whatever. “So did you two have a nice visit?”
With a secretive smile twitching the corners of his lips, he tilted his head. “We did. We ended up talking mostly about you, though.”
“Why?”
“Because Lysandro’s behind at work. He’s spent so much time out here with you that he’s running himself ragged, but since you haven’t told anyone else in town what’s going on, he had no choice but to come.”
“I didn’t make him do anything,” I spat out.
Scotty rolled his eyes again. “Ah, there’s diva Ego. I was wondering where he went. Although, I don’t remember you pouting so hard in the past.”
“I’m not…” I trailed off at the whine in my voice, realizing my lower lip was indeed jutting out, and I’d crossed my arms over my chest like a child. “Whatever.”
Scotty snorted and leaned back, crossing his feet at the ankles.
“Anyway, to answer your questions from earlier, I probably smell like old books because I was at the library. Which I’m assuming is obvious at this point.
Lysandro really needed to stay there and get some work done, but he would’ve made time for you, so don’t get your feelings all hurt or worry that you’ve been an inconvenience to him.
“It’s not like he needs sleep.” He chuckled like that was a fun fact or something. “Well, he needs some, but not like what you need, baby vamp.”
“Excuse me,” I said, affronted.
He snickered. I sure was getting sick of feeling like the butt of his inside jokes. “Sorry, not sorry. Lysandro calls you fledgling, which to him, you are, but to me, you’re a cute, little bitty, baby vamp.”
How dare he! I sat up taller, back ramrod straight. “I don’t think Dro would approve of that.”
Scotty clucked his tongue. “He told me not to let you use any of those nicknames. He doesn’t like it. Be respectful and call him Lysandro.”
Annoyed all over again, I said, “I’m sorry. How about I refer to him as Master Vampire? Is that passable?”
Scotty narrowed his eyes at me. “Hmm. I feel like that’s a decent workaround, but he’s not your Master, is he?”
I deflated. “Well, he’s all I’ve got.”
Scotty blew out a breath. “I’m sorry, Ego.” He sat forward, focusing on me intently. “What your creator, or whatever he is, did, turning you and then leaving you with no explanations, sucks. I can’t even imagine how you’re feeling right now.”
“Forsaken,” I murmured unintentionally. He didn’t need to know that. No one needed to know that. The only person who’d understand the full weight of that word for me was Sky, and I really didn’t want to drag him into this mess.
Scotty’s face softened, distracting me from my pain. He was so young and beautiful. I’d found him attractive even when he was glaring at me, but when his guard came down, he radiated a contentment that I’d never found in my life. I’d thought I was on my way to it as a sound witch, but…
“Ego, it really sucks that some fuckwad turned you without your consent, and then abandoned you. I’m not taking away from that, but whether you call Lysandro by name or Master Vampire, you have him, and you need to be grateful enough to listen when he speaks.
Acting like a child isn’t going to get you anywhere. Do you hear me?”
I heard him, but I still didn’t like it.
I was so fuckin’ angry. I didn’t want to learn how to be a vampire.
I wanted to be a sound witch. I wanted to hang out with Sky at the pond during the day and enjoy yoga and meditation with him, Chance, the High Priestess, and Elyse in the mornings.
I wanted to stop into Witch’s Brew in the afternoon for a caffeinated beverage. I wanted to…
My fangs grew as I growled, “It’s not fuckin’ fair.” Then I was up, flipping my comfy couch, and descending into the madness that had been waiting to claim me.